SAMANTHA 

CONEY  ISLAND 

and 

A  THOUSAND  OTHER 
ISLANDS 


(Josiah  Al,le,nss  Wipe 


Samantha 
at  Coney  Island 


Marietta  Holley 
[Samantha] 


Samantha 


AT 


Coney  Island 

AND 

A  THOUSAND  OTHER 
ISLANDS 


BY 

JOSIAH   ALLEN'S   WIFE 

(Marietta  Ho l ley) 


THE     CHRISTIAN    HERALD 
Bible  House,  New  York 


COPYRIGHT,     I91 I 
THE     CHRISTIAN     HERALD 


THE  'PLIMPTON'PRESS  -NORWOOD  -MASS -U-S  -A 


CONTENTS 

CHAPTER  ONE 

In  which  the   Coney  Island  Microbe  Enters 

Our  Quiet  Home i 

CHAPTER  TWO 

We  Set  Sail  for  Thousand  Island  Park  and 
have  a  Real  Good  Time,  but  Josiah  Mur- 
murs about  Coney 23 

CHAPTER  THREE 

We  Seek  Quiet  and  Happiness  in  Their  Beau- 
tiful Hants  and  Mingle  with  the  Pleas- 
ure Seekers  of  Alexandria  Bay     ....       39 

CHAPTER  FOUR 

We  Enjoy  the  Hospitalities  of  Whitfield's 
Aunt's  Boardin'-House  at  the  Park,  and 
my   Pardner   Goes   a-Fishin' 57 

CHAPTER  FIVE 

Josiah's  Imagination  about  His  Fishin'  Exploits 
Carries  Him  to  a  Pint  where  I  Have  to 
Rebuke  Him,  which  Makes  Him  Dretful 
Huffy 73 


IV;?.-  71 


viii  CONTENTS 

CHAPTER  SIX 
In  which  I  Draw  the  Matrimonial  Line  round 
my  Pardner  and  also  Keep  my  Eye  on  Mr. 

POMPER 87 

CHAPTER  SEVEN 
In  which  Josiah  Proposes  to  Dance  and  Mr. 
Pomper  Makes  an  Advance 101 

CHAPTER  EIGHT 

In  which  Mr.  Pomper  Declares  his  Intenshuns 
an'  Gives  his  Views  on  Matrimony       .      .     123 

CHAPTER  NINE 
In  which  Mr.  Pomper  Makes  a  Offer  of  Mar- 
riage and  Faith  has  a  Wonderful  Experi- 
ence     149 

CHAPTER  TEN 
We   Hear   a   Great   Temperance    Sermon,  but 
Josiah  still  Hankers  for  Coney  Island      .     165 

CHAPTER  ELEVEN 
In  which   we  "Return  Home,  and  I  Perswaide 

Josiah  to  Build  a  Cottage  for  Tirzah  Ann     183 

CHAPTER  TWELVE 
In  which  Josiah  still  Works  at  his  Plan  for 
Tirzah  Ann's  Cottage  and  Decides  to  Send 
his  Lumber  C.  O.  W 201 


CONTENTS  ix 

CHAPTER  THIRTEEN 
In  which  Josiah  and  Serenus  Depart  Sarahup- 
tishusly  for  coney  island  and  i  start  in 
Pursuit 211 

CHAPTER  FOURTEEN 
The  Curious  Sights  I  seen  an'  the  Hair-Raisin' 
Episodes  I  Underwent  in  my  Agonizin'  Search 

FOR   MY   PARDNER 221 

CHAPTER  FIFTEEN 
I  Visit  the  Moon,  Witchin'  Waves,  Open  Air 
Circus,    Advise    the    Monkeys,    Make    the 
Male  Statute  Laugh,  but  do  not  Find  Josiah     233 

CHAPTER  SIXTEEN 
The  Wonderful  and  Mysterious  Sights  I  saw 
in  Steeple  Chase  Park,  and  my  Search  there 
for  my  pardner 249 

CHAPTER  SEVENTEEN 
In   which   I    Continue   my   Search   for   Josiah 
through    Dreamland,    Huntin'    for    him    in 
vain,    and    Return    to    Bildad's  at    night, 
Weary  and  Despairin' 273 

CHAPTER  EIGHTEEN 
Josiah   Found  at    last!    The    Awful    Fire    in 
Dreamland  and  the  Terrible  Sights  I  saw 
there 293 


x  CONTENTS 

CHAPTER  NINETEEN 

We  Return  to  Jonesville  and  Josiah  Builds 
Tirzah  Ann's  Cottage  with  Strange  Inven- 
tions and  Additions 309 

CHAPTER  TWENTY 

Faith  Comes  to  Visit  us.  We  Attend  the  Camp 
Meetin'  at  Piller  Pint,  and  Faith  Meets 
the  Lover  of  her  Youth 327 


ILLUSTRATIONS 


PAGE 


Marietta  Holley   [Samantha] Frontispiece 

"  Serenus  Gowdey  tramped  up  and  down  our  kitchen 
swingin'  his  arms  and  describin'  the  wonders  of 
Coney  Island'9 8 

"  The  old  deacon  couldn't  stand  such  talk.  He  turned 
him  out-doors,  slammed  the  door  in  his  face,  and 
forbid  Faith  to  speak  to  him  again  "        ....        14 

aI  liked  Castle  Rest.  It  seemed  a  monument  riz  up  to 
faithful,  patient  mothers  by  the  hand  of  filial  grati- 
tude and  love " 49 

iS I  tried  to  stop  him.  I  didn't  want  him  to  demean  him- 
self before  the  oarsmen  tryin'  to  find  boats  that  hadn't 
been  hearn  on  in  hundreds  of  years  "        ....       68 

"'/  won't  wear  a  veil,'  sez  he  stoutly.  But  the  next 
time  a  gale  come  from  the  sou' west  I  laid  the  brim 
back  and  tied  the  veil  in  a  big  bow  knot  under  his 
chin"         83 

" '  What  does  ail  you,  Samantha,  lockin'  arms  with  me 
all  the  time  —  it  will  make  talk!'  he  whispered  in  a 
mad,  impatient  whisper,  but  I  would  hang  on  as  long 
as  Mr.  Pomper  wuz  around  " 99 


xii  ILLUSTRATIONS 


PAGE 


"As  they  come  nigh  me  I  riz  up  almost  wildly  and 
ketched  holt  of  my  pardner  and  sez  I:  ( Desist/ 
Josiah  Allen,  stop  to  once!'  The  aged  female 
looked  at  me  in  surprise" 132 

"'No,'  sez  Mr.  Pomper,  'I  want  it  done  as  speedily 
as  possible,  fer  my  late  lamented  left  me  thirteen 
children,  two  pairs  of  triplets,  two  ditto  of  twins, 
and  three  singles'" 144 

"Mr.  Pomper,  thinkin'  he  would  see  better,  got  up  on 
the  bench,  and  jest  as  he  shouted  out  'How  firm  a 
foundation,'  the  bench  broke  and  down  he  come  "       .169 

"And  then  he  would  call  in  Uncle  Nate  Peedick  and 
they  would  bend  their  two  gray  bald  heads  and  talk 
about  specifications  and  elevations  till  my  brain 
seemed  most  as  soft  as  theirn" 196 

"  *  Serenus  and  Josiah  are  havin'  a  gay  time  at  Coney 
Island.  I've  jest  had  a  card  from  Serenus,'  sez 
Miss  Gowdey.  You  could  have  knocked  me  down 
with  a  pin  feather" 215 

"I  stood  before  what  seemed  to  be  a  great  city.  End- 
less white  towers  riz  up  as  if  callin'  attention  to 
'em" 227 

"On  they  went  under  the  waterfall,  up,  up,  down,  down, 

and  finally  shot  out  jest  where  we  got  in"    .      .      .     231 

"Folks  get  into  little  automobiles  and  steer  'em  them- 
selves"        236 


ILLUSTRATIONS  xiii 


PAGE 


"A  boat  full  of  men  and  women  set  out  from  the  highest 
peak,  shot  down  the  declivity  like  lightnin',  and 
dashed  way  out  on  the  other  side  of  the  bridge"    .      .     239 

"Rows  of 'high  headed  mettlesome  hosses"  .      ...     247 

"I'm  tellin'  the  livin'  truth,  as  she  towered  up  in 
front  on  me,  her  breast  opened  and  a  man's  face 
looked  out  on  me" 254 

"As  I  went  down  with  lightnin'  speed  I  hadn't  time 

to  think  much" 259 

"Pretty  soon  it  begun  to  move  and  one  by  one  they  wuz 

throwed  off  and  went  down  I  know  not  where"       .     261 

"As  I  went  into  Dreamland  it  seemed  as  if  all  the  folks 

in  the  city  wuz  there" 2&7 

"  We  got  in  a  small  boat  and  wuz  carried  round  and 

round  till  we  dived  into  a  dark  tunnel"       .      .      .      277 

"  I  went  forward  to  see  the  Head  Hunters.  I  sez  to  'em, 
'I've  hearn  of  your  doin's  and  I  want  to  advise  you 
for  your  good "' 2%2 

"It  zvuz  a  sight  to  see,  acres  and  acres  of  sand  dotted 

with  men,  women,  and  children" 287 

"/  rushed  forwards  and  cried  to  the  lordly  beast  above, 
jest  ready  to  spring:  'Don't  harm  Josiah!  Devour 
me  instead!'" 3°4 

"/  myself  never  set  foot  on  the  Bowery;  I  wuznH  goin' 
to  nasty  up  my  mind  with  it,  though  I  hearn  there 
wuz  some  good  things  to  be  seen  there"  .      .      •      •     3X4 


xiv  ILLUSTRATIONS 


"/  donH  know  how  long  they  stood  there,  his  eyes 
sear  chin9  the  dear  face  and  findin'  a  sacred  meanin* 


PAGE 


"lThe  sutler, !*  He  stood  agast,  perfectly  dumb- 
founded but  wuznH  goin*  to  give  in  he  had  made  a 
mistake.     It  wuz  too  mortifying  to  his  pride"        .     319 


348 


CHAPTER    ONE 


In  which  the  Coney  Island  Mi- 
crobe enters  our  quiet  home. 


Samantha  at  Coney  Island  and 
a  Thousand  Other  Islands 


CHAPTER   ONE 

IN    WHICH     THE    CONEY    ISLAND    MICROBE 
ENTERS  OUR  QUIET   HOME 

WHEN  Serenus  Gowdey  got  back  last 
fall  from  Brooklyn,  where  his  twin 
brother,  Sylvester,  lives,  he  couldn't 
talk  about  anything  but  Coney  Island.  He 
slighted  religion,  stopped  runnin'  down  rela- 
tions, politics  wuz  left  in  the  lurch,  and  cows, 
hens,  and  crops,  wuz  to  him  as  if  they  wuzn't. 
He  acted  crazy  as  a  loon  about  that  Island. 

Why,  Sylvester'ses  wife  told  Miss  Dagget 
and  she  told  the  Editor  of  the  Augur's  wife,  and 
she  told  Ben  Lowry's  widder,  and  she  told  the 
Editor  of  the  Gimlet's  mother-in-law,  and  she 
told  me.  It  come  straight,  that  Serenus  only 
stayed  there  nights  and  to  a  early  breakfast, 
but  spent  his  hull  durin'  time  to  Coney  Island, 
and  he  a  twin  too.     She  said  Sylvester  felt  so 


4  SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

hurt  she  wuz  afraid  it  would  make  a  lastin' 
hardness.  And  it  made  me  enough  trouble  too, 
yes  indeed!  for  he  would  come  and  pour  out  his 
praises  of  that  frisky,  frivolous  spot  into  Josiah's 
too  willin'  ears,  till  he  got  him  as  wild  as  he  wuz 
about  it. 

Why,  evenin's  after  he'd  been  there  recountin' 
its  attractions  till  bed-time,  Josiah  would  be  so 
wrought  up  he'd  ride  night  mairs  most  all 
night.  He'd  spring  up  in  bed  cryin'  out,  "All 
aboard  for  Coney  Island!"  or,  "There  is  the 
Immoral  Railway!  See  the  divin'  girls,  and 
the  Awful  Tower.  Get  a  hot  dog;  look  at  the 
alligators,  etc.,  etc."  I  gin  him  catnip  to  soothe 
his  nerve,  but  that  didn't  git  the  pizen  out  of 
his  system;  no,  acres  of  catnip  couldn't. 

Oh,  how  dead  sick  I'd  git  of  their  talk,  Coney 
Island!  Luna  Park!  Well  named,  I'd  say  to 
myself,  it  is  enough  to  make  anybody  luny  to 
hear  so  much  about  it.  Steeple  Chase!  chasm' 
steeples,  folly  and  madness.  Dreamland!  night 
mairs,  most  probable.  Why,  from  Serenus' 
talk  that  I  hearn  onwillingly  about  toboggan 
slides,  merry-go-rounds,  swings,  immoral  rail- 
ways, skatin'  rinks,  diving  girls,  loops  de  loops, 
and  bumps  de  bumps,  trips  to  the  moon  and 
trashy  shows  of  all  kinds  I  got  the  idee  there 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      5 

wuzn't  nothin'  there  God  had  made,  only  the 
Ocean  and  the  little  incubator  babies,  though 
them  two  shows  wuzn't  what  you  might  call 
similar  and  the  same  size.  Why,  I  myself,  with 
my  powerful  mind,  would  git  so  cumfuddled 
hearin'  his  wild  and  glarin'  descriptions,  that  my 
brain  would  seem  to  turn  over  under  my  foretop, 
and  I  didn't  wonder  at  Josiah's  bein'  led  away 
by  it,  much  as  I  lamented  it,  for  he  soon  declared 
that  go  there  he  would. 

In  vain  I  reminded  him  that  he  wuz  a  deacon 
and  a  grandfather.  He  said  he  didn't  care  how 
many  deacons  he  wuz,  or  how  many  grand- 
fathers; he  wuz  goin'  to  see  that  beautiful  and 
entrancin'  place  with  his  own  eyes.  I  tried  to 
quell  him  down,  but  couldn't  quell  him  worth  a 
cent,  with  Serenus  firm'  him  up  on  the  other 
side. 

One  Sunday,  Elder  Minkley  preached  an 
eloquent  sermon  describing  the  glories  of  the 
New  Jerusalem,  and  Josiah  said  goin'  home 
that  from  Serenus'  tell,  the  elder  had  gin  a 
crackin'  good  description  of  Coney  Island. 

I  groaned  aloud.  And  he  sez,  "You  may 
groan  and  sithe  all  you're  a  minter;  I  shall  see 
that  magnificent  place  before  I  die." 

"Well,"  sez  I  coldly,  "I  don't  want  to  talk 


6         SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

about  it  Sunday.  If  you've  got  to  talk  about 
shows  and  Pleasure  Huntin',  do  it  week  days, 
and  don't  pollute  this  sacred  day  with  it." 

"Pollute  nothing!"  sez  he, and  we  didn't  speak 
for  over  two  milds.  But  another  weariness  wuz 
ahead  on  me,  and  another  strain  on  my  over- 
worked ear  pans.  Jest  about  this  time,  Whit- 
field Minkley,  our  Tirzah  Ann's  husband,  got 
jest  as  much  carried  away  and  enthused  over 
some  other  Islands,  though  he  had  more  to  show 
for  his  het  up  state  of  mind.  One  thousand  and 
seventy  wuz  the  number  of  islands  he  fell  voy- 
lently  in  love  with  and  tried  to  make  us  the 
same.  He  had  been  to  Canada  on  bizness  and 
went  through  them  islands,  and  wuz  overcome 
by  their  extreme  beauty.  I'd  heard  that  Whit- 
field's islands  wuz  as  beautiful  as  anything  this 
side  of  the  Heavenly  gardens.  Still,  with 
Serenus  on  one  side  praisin'  up  Coney,  and 
Whitfield  on  the  other  praisin'  up  his  islands,  I 
got  so  dead  tired  of  'em  that  I  wished  there 
wuzn't  a  single  island  on  the  hull  face  of  the 
earth.  Yes,  extreme  weariness  had  got  me  so 
low  down  as  that. 

One  evenin',  Serenus  had  been  there  and 
talked  three  hours  stiddy,  describin'  the  charms 
and  attractions  of  his  island.     The  rush  and  roar 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      7 

of  the  mechanical  amusements,  so  wonderful 
they  made  scientific  men  wonder.  The  edu- 
cated animals  that  showed  how  fur  animals  could 
be  made  to  reason  and  understand.  The  con- 
stant hustle  and  bustle  of  the  immense  crowds, 
ever  comin',  ever  goin',  ever  movin',  never  stop- 
pin'.  He  stood  up  some  of  the  time  describin' 
the  wonders  and  splendors  there,  and  tramped 
up  and  down  our  kitchen  floor,  swingin'  his 
arms  and  actin',  till,  when  he  left  at  late  bed- 
time, Josiah  wuz  pale  with  longin',  and  when 
I  got  up  to  lock  the  door  and  let  out  the  cat, 
my  head  seemed  to  go  round  and  round,  and 
I  had  to  hang  onto  the  door  nob  to  stiddy 
myself. 

And  the  very  next  forenoon  Whitfield  and 
Tirzah  Ann  and  little  Delight  come  to  spend 
the  day.  Her  name  is  Anna  Tirzah,  but  I  called 
her  Heart's  Delight,  she  wuz  so  sweet  and 
pretty,  and  we've  shortened  it  into  Delight.  I 
wuz  glad  to  see  'em  and  done  well  by  'em  in 
cookin'.  I  had  a  excelent  dinner  started  — 
roast  fowl  and  vegetables  and  orange  puddin', 
etc.  —  but  Whitfield,  jest  as  soon  as  he  sot 
down,  begun  to  descant  on  the  beauty  of  his 
islands.  I  groaned  and  sithed  out  in  the 
buttery.     "Islands  agin!     I  had  one  island  last 


8  SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 


"  Serenus  Gozvdey  tramped  up  and  down  our  kitchen 
floor  swingin'  his  arms  and  describin'  the  wonders  of 
Coney  Island"  {See  page  f) 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     9 

night  till  bed-time,  and  now  Pve  got  one  thou- 
sand and  seventy  ahead  on  me." 

He  begun  jest  as  I  put  my  potatoes  on  to  bile, 
I  wuz  goin'  to  smash  'em  with  plenty  of  cream 
and  butter;  I  hearn  him  till  dinner  wuz  on  the 
table,  and  I  wuz  turnin'  out  the  rich,  fragrant 
coffee  and  addin'  the  cream  to  it,  and  his  praise 
on  'em  wuz  still  flowin'  in  a  stiddy  stream,  and 
then  I  asked  him,  in  one  of  his  short  pauses 
for  breath,  how  Grout  Nickelson's  rumatiz 
wuz. 

He  answered  polite  but  brief,  and  resoomed 
the  subject  nearest  and  dearest.  I  then,  with 
dizzy  foretop  and  achin'  ear  pans,  tried  to 
turn  his  mind  onto  politics  and  religion,  no 
avail.  I  tried  cotton  cloth,  carbide,  lamb's 
wool  blankets,  Panama  Canal,  literatoor,  X  rays, 
hens'  eggs,  Standard  Oil,  the  school  mom, 
reciprocity,  and  the  tariff;  not  a  mite  of  change, 
all  his  idees  swoshin'  up  against  them  islands, 
and  tryin'  to  float  off  our  minds  there  with 
hisen.  I  thought  of  what  I'd  hearn  Thomas  J. 
read  about  Tennyson's  character,  who  "  didn't 
want  to  die  a  listener,"  and  I  sez  in  a  firm  voice, 
"I've  had  a  letter  from  Cousin  Faithful  Smith. 
She's  comin'  here  next  spring  to  make  a  visit.'' 
Whitfield  said  he  should  love  to  see  Cousin 


io        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

Faith,  but  whilst  she  wuz  here,  we  all  ort  to  go 
to  the  Thousand  Islands. 

Sez  Josiah  firmly,  "We  ort  to  take  her  to 
Coney  Island,"  and  he  went  on  rehearsin' 
Serenuses  praises,  and  the  education  and  the 
bliss  one  could  git  there.  He  rid  his  hobby 
nobly,  but  Whitfield,  bein'  young  and  spry, 
could  ride  his  hobby  faster  and  furder,  till 
finally  Josiah  got  discouraged,  and  sot  still  a 
spell,  and  then  scratched  his  head,  and  went 
out  to  the  barn.  And  Whitfield  seated  himself 
with  ease  on  his  hobby,  which  pranced  about 
us  till,  well  as  I  love  the  children,  I  felt  relieved 
to  see  'em  go,  for  my  head  felt  as  if  the  river 
wuz  rushin'  through  it.  And  after  they  left 
and  we  driv  over  to  the  post  office,  it  seemed  as 
if  the  democrat  wuz  a  boat  and  the  dusty  road 
a  broad,  liquid  stream,  down  which  we  wuz 
glidin'  and  the  neighin'  of  the  old  mair  (we  had 
to  leave  her  colt  to  home)  wuz  the  snort  of  a 
steamer.  My  dreams  that  night  wuz  about 
the  Saint  Lawrence,  kinder  swoshy  and  floatin' 
round. 

Well,  the  cold  winter  passed  away,  as  winters 
will,  if  you  have  patience  to  wait  (or  if  you 
don't  either,  to  be  exact  and  truthful).  The 
shiverin'  earth  begun  to  git  a  little  warmer, 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     n 

kinder  shook  herself  and  partly  throwed  off  the 
white  fur  robe  she'd  wore  all  huddled  round 
herself  so  long,  and  as  the  sun  looked  down 
closter  and  more  smilin'  it  throwed  it  clear  off 
and  begun  to  put  on  its  new  green  spring  suit. 
Them  same  smiles,  only  more  warm  and  per- 
suadin'  like,  coaxed  the  sweet  sap  up  into  the 
bare  maple  tops  in  Josiah's  sugar  bush  and  the 
surroundin'  world,  till  them  same  sunny  smiles 
wuz  packed  away  in  depths  of  sugar  loaves  and 
golden  syrup  in  our  store  room.  Wild-flowers 
peeped  out  in  sheltered  places;  pussy  willows 
bent  down  and  bowed  low  as  they  see  their 
pretty  faces  in  the  onchained  brook;  birds 
sung  amongst  the  pale  green  shadders  of  openin' 
leaves;  the  west  wind  jined  in  the  happy  chorus. 
And  lo!  on  lookin'  out  of  our  winder  before  we 
knowed  it,  as  it  were,  we  see  Spring  had  come ! 

And  with  the  spring  come  my  expected  visitor, 
Faithful  Smith.  She  is  my  own  cousin  on  my 
own  side,  called  by  some  a  old  maid.  But  she 
hain't  so  very  old,  and  she's  real  good-lookin' 
—  better  than  when  she  wuz  a  girl,  I  think,  for 
life  has  been  cuttin'  pure  and  sweet  meanin's 
into  her  face,  some  as  they  carve  beauty  into  a 
cameo.  She's  kinder  pale  and  her  sweet  soul 
seems  to  look  right  out  at  you  from  her  soft  gray 


12        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

eyes,  and  the  lay  of  her  hull  face  is  such  that 
you  would  think,  if  the  fire  of  happiness  could 
be  built  up  under  it  (in  her  soul),  it  would  light 
up  into  loveliness. 

She  wuz  disappinted  some  years  ago  (or 
I  d'no  what  you  would  call  it)  when  she  sent  the 
man  away  herself.  But  she  had  a  Bo  when 
she  wuz  a  girl  by  the  name  of  Richard  West. 
Dick  West  wuz  the  fullest  of  fun  you  ever  see, 
though  generous  and  good  hearted;  but  he 
boasted  on  not  believin'  anything,  and  Faith- 
ful's father,  bein'  a  church  member  of  the  closest 
kind,  and  she  brung  up  as  you  may  say,  right 
inside  the  tabernacle,  with  her  Pa's  phylakracy 
hangin'  on  the  very  horns  of  the  altar,  you  may 
know  what  opposition  Richard  got  from  her  Pa 
and  her  own  conscience.  Her  conscience,  as  so 
many  good  girl's  consciences  are,  wuz  a  perfect 
tyrant,  and  drove  her  round  —  that,  and  her  Pa. 
He  wanted  to  be  a  good  man,  but  wuz  bigoted 
and  couldn't  see  no  higher  than  the  top  of  the 
steeple,  and  didn't  want  to.  And  take  these 
facts,  with  her  deep  true  love  for  Richard,  you 
may  know  she  got  tossted  about  more'n  con- 
siderable. 

Richard  would  make  fun.  right  in  meetin'  — 
make  fun  of  their  religious  observances  —  and 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     13 

finally,  though  he  wuz  good  natured,  and  did  all 
his  pranks  through  light-hearted  mischief  and 
not  malice,  yet  at  last  he  did  git  mad  at  the  old 
deacon,  who  wuz  comin'  it  dretful  strong  on 
him  with  his  doctrines  and  exhortin'  him, 
tellin'  him  he  wuz  a  lost  soul  and  had  been  from 
before  his  birth.  Then  Richard  sassed  him 
right  back  and  told  him  he  didn't  believe  in 
his  idee  of  the  Deity. 

The  old  deacon  couldn't  stand  such  talk. 
He  turned  him  out-doors,  slammed  the  door  in 
his  face,  and  forbid  Faith  to  speak  to  him  again. 
She  obeyed  her  Pa  and  her  own  conscience; 
but  it  seemed  to  take  all  the  nip  out  of  her  life. 
You  see,  she  loved  this  young  man;  and  when 
anyone  like  Faith  loves  it  hain't  for  a  week  or  a 
summer,  but  for  life. 

He  writ  to  her  burnin'  words  of  love  and  pas- 
sion, for  he  loved  her  too  in  the  old-fashioned 
way  Adam  did  Eve  —  no  other  woman  round, 
you  know.  And  the  words  he  writ  wuz,  I  spoze, 
enough  to  melt  a  slate  stun,  let  alone  a  heart, 
tender  and  true.  She  never  writ  a  word  back, 
and  at  last  she  wouldn't  read  his  letters  and 
sent  'em  back  onopened.  That  madded  him 
and  he  went  on  from  bad  to  worse,  swung  right 
out  into  wickedness.     He  seemed  to  git  harder 


14        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 


The  old  deacon  couldn't  stand  such  talk.  He  turned 
him  out-doors,  slammed  the  door  in  his  face,  and  for- 
bid Faith  to  speak  to  him  again."  (See  page  13) 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    15 

and  harder,  and  finally  seem'  he  could  make  no 
more  impression  on  Faith  than  he  could  on 
white  clear  crystal,  he  went  off  west,  as  fur  as 
Michigan  at  first,  so  I  hearn,  and  so  on,  I  don't 
know  where  to. 

Well,  Faith  lived  on  in  the  old  home,  very 
calm  and  sweet  acting  with  a  shadder  on  her 
pretty  face,  worryin'  dretful  about  her  lover, 
so  it  wuz  spozed.  But  at  last  it  seemed  to  wear 
off  and  a  clear  white  light  took  its  place  on  her 
gentle  forward,  as  if  her  trouble  had  bleached 
off  the  earthly  in  her  nature  so  her  white  soul 
could  show  through  plain.  Mebby  she'd  got 
willin'  to  trust  even  his  future  with  the  Lord. 

Dretful  good  to  children  and  sick  folks  and 
them  that  wuz  in  trouble,  Faith  wuz.  Good  to 
her  Pa,  who  wuz  very  disagreable  in  his  last 
days,  findin'  fault  with  his  porridge  and  with 
sinners,  and  most  of  them  round  him.  But  she 
took  care  on  him  patient,  rubbed  his  back  and 
soaked  his  feet,  and  read  the  Sams  to  him, 
and  reconciled  him  all  she  could,  and  finally  he 
went  out  into  the  Great  Onknown  to  find  out 
his  own  mistakes  if  he  had  made  any,  and  left 
Faith  alone. 

The  house  wuz  a  big  square  one  with  a  large 
front  yard  with  some   Pollard  willers  standin' 


16        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

in  a  row  in  front  on't,  through  which  the  wind 
come  in  melancholy  sithes  into  the  great  front 
chamber  at  night  where  Faith  slept,  or  ruther 
lay.  And  the  moon  fallin'  through  the  willers 
made  mournful  reflections  on  the  clean-painted 
floor,  and  I  spoze  Faith  looked  at  'em  and  read 
her  past  in  the  white  cold  rays  and  her  future 
too. 

She  hired  a  man  and  his  wife  to  live  in  part 
of  the  house,  and  she  herself  lived  on  there,  a 
life  as  cold  and  colorless  as  a  nun's.  But  there 
wuz  them  that  said  that  she  loved  that  young 
West  to-day  jest  as  well  as  she  did  the  day  they 
parted,  bein'  one  of  the  constant  naters  that 
can't  forgit;  that  she  kep'  his  birthdays  every 
year,  but  sarahuptishously,  and  on  the  anniver- 
sary of  the  day  she  parted  with  him,  nobody 
ever  see  her  from  mornin'  till  night. 

The  tall  Pollard  willers  wuz  the  only  ones 
that  could  look  down  into  her  chamber,  and  see 
how  she  looked,  or  what  she  wuz  doin\  And 
they  never  told,  only  jest  murmured  and  sithed, 
and  kinder  took  on  about  it  in  their  own  way. 
But  the  next  day,  Faith  always  looked  paler 
and  sweeter  than  ever,  they  said. 

Well,  I  wuz  glad  enough  to  see  Faith.  I 
think  a  sight  on  her  and  she  of  me,  and  we  had 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     17 

a  real  good  time.  Josiah  sez  to  me  the  day  after 
she  come,  "She  is  the  flower  of  your  family!" 

And  I  told  him  I  didn't  know  as  I  should  put 
it  in  jest  that  way,  and  he  might  jest  as  well 
be  mejum,  sez  I,  "You're  quite  apt  to  demean 
the  relation  on  my  side,  and  if  you  take  it  into 
your  head  to  praise  one  of  the  females,  you  no 
need  to  go  too  high/' 

"Well,"  he  repeated,  "she  is  the  flower  of  the 
Smith  race.  Of  course/'  sez  he,  glancin'  at  my 
liniment  and  then  off  towards  the  buttery  full 
of  good  vittles,  "I  always  except  you,  Samantha, 
who  I  consider  the  fairest  flower  that  ever 
blowed  out  on  the  family  tree  of  Smith/' 

Josiah  is  a  man  of  excelent  judgment.  But 
to  resoom  backward,  I  had  a  dretful  good  visit 
with  Faith  and  enjoyed  her  bein'  with  us  the 
best  that  ever  wuz.  Instead  of  makin'  work 
she  helped,  though  I  told  her  not  to.  She 
would  wipe  and  I  would  wash,  and  we  would 
git  through  the  dishes  in  no  time.  She  hunted 
round  in  my  wrork  basket  and  found  some  night- 
caps I'd  begun  and  would  finish  'em,  put  mere 
work  on  'em  than  I  should,  for  I  slight  my  every 
day  sheep's-head  night-caps.  But  she  trimmed 
'em  and  cat-stitched  'em,  till  they  wuz  beautiful 
to  look  upon.     She  wuz  always  very  sweet  and 


1 8         SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

gentle  in  her  ways.  As  wuz  said  of  her  once, 
she  entered  a  room  so  quietly  and  gracefully, 
she  made  all  the  other  wimmen  there  feel  as 
if  they'd  come  in  on  horse-back.  Now  that 
I  hadn't  seen  her  for  some  time,  it  seemed  as  if 
I  hadn't  remembered  how  lovely  and  interestin' 
she  wuz. 

We  had  a  good  visit  talkin'  about  the  world's 
work,  and  reciprocity,  and  Woman's  suffrage  — 
which  we  both  believed  in  —  and  hens,  both 
settin'  and  layin'.  And  we  talked  about  the 
relation  on  our  two  sides.  Of  course,  some  of 
the  wimmen  hadn't  done  as  we  thought  they 
ort  to;  but  we  didn't  run  'em,  only  wuz  sorry 
they  wuz  so  different. 

There  wuz  Aunt  Nancy  John  and  Aunt  Nancy 
Jim,  widders  of  the  two  old  Smith  twins.  I 
told  Faith  I  wuz  sorry  they  wuzn't  more  like 
her  mother  and  mine,  our  mothers  wuz  so  much 
better  dispositioned,  and  fur  better  lookin', 
and  didn't  try  to  color  their  hair  and  act  younger 
than  they  wuz;  and  Uncle  Preserved's  boy,  a 
lawyer,  I  told  Faith  it  wuz  a  pity  he  wuzn't 
more  like  our  Thomas  Jefferson,  though  it 
wuzn't  to  be  expected  that  there  could  be  two 
boys  amongst  the  relations  so  nearly  perfect 
as    Thomas   Jefferson   wuz;   but  I    didn't    act 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     19 

hauty,  only  wuz  sorry  he  hadn't  turned  out  so 
well. 

And  Uncle  Lemuel's  two  girls,  I  said  I 
wouldn't  want  it  told  out  of  the  family,  but  they 
wuz  extravagant  and  slack,  and  their  houses 
didn't  look  much  like  Tirzah  Ann's  and  Maggie's 
house.  But  we  hadn't  ort  to  expect  many  such 
housekeepers  as  our  children  wuz.  And  we 
talked  about  the  Thousand  Islands  and  she 
promised  to  go  out  with  Josiah  and  me  the  next 
summer  if  nothin'  happened.  And  Josiah  then 
and  there,  tried  to  make  us  promise  to  go  to 
Coney  Island  on  our  way  there.  "On  our 
way,"  sez  I,  "it  would  be  five  hundred  milds 
out  of  our  way!" 

"And  well  worth  it!"  sez  he,  "to  see  what 
Serenus  see,  and  hear  what  Serenus  hearn. 
Why  I  git  so  carried  away  jest  hearin'  about 
that  magnificent  spot  that  I  have  to  fairly 
hang  onto  myself  to  keep  from  startin'  there 
to  once  bareheaded." 

"I  know  it,  Josiah;  you've  acted  luny  about 
it.  And  if  jest  hearin'  about  it  harrers  your 
nerve  so,  what  would  seein'  it  do?" 

"My  nerve  ain't  harrered,"  he  sez. 

Sez  I,  "Can  you  deny  I  have  had  to  give  you 
quarts  of  catnip  after  you   have  had  a  seancy 


20        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

with  Serenus  about  that  frivolous  spot,  full  of 
hilarity  and  temptation?" 

"Because  you  have  drownded  out  my  insides 
with  catnip,  it  hain't  no  sign  I  needed  it.  And 
I  tell  you,  Samantha  Allen,  you  may  demean  that 
grand  glorious  place  all  you're  a  minter;  I  shall 
see  it  ere  long.  It  is  the  shinin'  gole  I  have  rared 
up  in  front  of  me  and  I'm  bound  to  set  on  it." 

Sez  I,  "If  you  hain't  got  any  nobler  gole  than 
that  ahead  on  you  I  pity  you  from  the  bottom 
of  my  heart."  And  to  kinder  skair  him  I  sez 
agin,  "Do  you  a  Christian  deacon,  want  to  act 
frisky  and  go  pleasure-huntin'  at  your  age?" 

"Why,"  sez  he,  "Serenus  sez  it  is  the  most 
entrancin'ly  beautiful  and  fascinatin'  spot  on 
earth.  He  sez,  and  can  prove,  it  is  the  biggest 
playground  in  the  hull  world,  to  say  nothin'  of 
what  you  can  learn  there,  and  folks  come  from 
foreign  countries  jest  to  see  it.  Their  first 
question  when  they  land  is,  '  Where  is  Coney 
Island?     Lead  me  to  it!'" 

"Ohshaw!"sezI. 

"Well,  it  is  so,  and  why  should  such  droves 
of  folks  go  there  if  it  hain't  worth  it?  Serenus 
sez  and  can  prove,  that  a  million  folks  go  there 
in  one  day  sometimes,  and  hundreds  of  thou- 
sands most  every  day." 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      21 

Sez  I  solemnly,  "Do  you  remember  the  him, 
1  Broad  is  the  road  that  leads/  you  know  where. 
'And  thousands  walk  together  there/  Do  you 
want  to  walk  with  'em,  Josiah?" 

"Yes,  I  do,  and  lay  out  to." 

Oh  how  deep  the  pizen  had  gone  into  his  solar 
system!  I  see  scarin'  didn't  do  no  good,  so  I 
tried  tender  talk  to  wean  him  from  the  idee. 
I  told  him  I  thought  too  much  on  him  to  resk 
him  there  in  such  crowds.  He  wuz  too  small 
boneded  and  his  head  too  weak  to  grapple  with 
the  lures  and  temptations  that  would  surround 
him,  and  I'd  never  give  my  consent  to  his  goin/ 
much  less  lead  him  into  temptation. 

"Lead  your  granny!"  sez  he  in  a  rough  axent. 
And  that  wuz  all  the  good  my  lovin'  talk  did. 

Faith  said  she  didn't  care  about  goin'.  But 
we  took  her  to  visit  the  children,  though  the 
day  I  took  her  to  Whitfield's  he  had  of  course, 
jest  like  Josiah,  to  ride  that  hobby  of  hisen 
which  raced  and  cavorted  round  us,  till  before 
night  he  got  us  both  most  as  wild  as  he  wuz 
about  the  Islands.  But  she  had  to  go  from  our 
house  to  Uncle  Ornaldo  Smithses,  and  had 
promised  to  visit  friends  out  to  Ohio  durin'  the 
summer.     I  hated  to  have  her  go. 


CHAPTER    TWO 

TVe  set  sail  for  Thousand  Island 
Park  and  have  a  real  good  time, 
but  "Josiah  murmurs  about 
Coney 


CHAPTER  TWO 

WE  SET  SAIL  FOR  THOUSAND  ISLAND  PARK 
AND  HAVE  A  REAL  GOOD  TIME,  BUT 
JOSIAH  MURMURS  ABOUT  CONEY 

SOON  after,  Whitfield  wuz  obleeged  to  go 
to  Canada  agin  on  that  bizness  and  go 
through  them  Thousand  Islands,  and 
said  he  felt  like  jumpin'  off  the  boat,  swimmin, 
ashore  and  buyin'  the  hull  on  'em,  they  wuz  so 
entrancin'ly  lovely.  But  by  holdin'  onto  his 
principles  and  patience  (of  course  he'd  got  quite 
a  lot  of  patience,  he'd  been  married  a  number 
of  years)  he  managed  to  git  through  without 
jumpin'  off  the  boat  and  tacklin'  the  job  of 
buyin'  'em,  but  said  to  himself,  "If  my  life  is 
spared  to  finish  up  that  bizness  I'll  come  back 
and  buy  ten  or  a  dozen." 

So  sure  enough  on  his  way  back  he  stopped  off 
at  Alexandria  Bay  and  tackled  a  real  estate 
agent  to  see  what  he  would  ask  for  a  few  islands 
close  to  the  beautiful  Bay.  He  had  a  idee,  I 
spoze,  of  locatin'  the  relation  on  his  side  and 
hern  round  on  the  different  Islands,  mebby  an 

25 


26        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

island  apiece.  But  to  his  surprise  and  horrow 
he  found  that  the  price  for  the  smallest  one  wuz 
appallin'.  But  he  vowed  that  if  it  took  every 
cent  of  money  he  had  (and  he's  quite  well  off) 
he  would  own  a  piece  of  one  big  enough  for  a 
house. 

So,  after  searchin'  both  by  water  and  by 
land,  he  found  a  buildin'  spot  he  felt  able  to 
buy.  It  wuz  on  one  end  of  an  island  that  wuz 
called  Shadow  Island,  mebby  because  the  shad- 
der  of  the  tall  trees  upon  it  wuz  mirrored  so 
plain  in  the  water,  makin'  it  look  as  if  there  wuz 
another  and  fairer  isle  below. 

There  wuz  a  big  empty  house  standin'  on  one 
end  of  the  Island,  the  owner  bein'  in  Europe 
and  not  wantin'  to  rent  it.  There  wuz  a  por- 
tion of  it  smooth  and  grassy,  though  the  grass 
wuz  kinder  thin  in  places,  the  rocks  come  up  so 
clost  to  the  surface.  But  as  I  told  Whitfield, 
stun  is  cleaner  than  dirt,  and  more  healthy, 
unless  you  have  'em  both  throwed  at  you,  in 
that  case  dirt  is  more  healthy.  He  said  the 
spot  wuz  dry  and  there  wuz  some  hemlock  and 
pine  trees  standin'  on  one  end  on't,  and  under 
'em  wuz  a  carpet  of  the  rich  brown  leaves  and 
pine  needles  that  Whitfield  thought  would  be 
beautiful  for  little  Delight  to  play  in. 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS  27 

And  on  the  spot  he'd  picked  out  for  a  house 
the  soil  wuz  deep  enough  for  a  good  suller. 
Tirzah  Ann  always  did  love  sullers;  she  kinder 
took  to  'em.  She  has  to  go  down  suller  most 
the  first  thing  when  she  comes  home  visitin'. 
She  never  seems  to  want  anything,  only  to  sort 
o'  look  round.  Some  say  her  ma  wuz  so;  but 
there  is  worse  things  to  take  to  than  sullers, 
and  I  wuz  glad  enough  there  wuz  a  place  there 
where  Tirzah  Ann  could  have  one. 

Well,  I  declare  I  fell  in  love  with  the  place 
myself.  And  he  beset  us  to  go  out  and  see  it, 
and  early  in  the  summer  we  sot  sail,  the  hull 
on  us,  for  the  Thousand  Island  Park,  a  good 
noble  campin'  ground,  though  middlin'  hot  in 
some  spots.  I've  been  asked  what  made  it  so 
much  hotter  there  round  the  Tabernacle  than 
it  was  up  to  Summer  Land,  where  the  Univer- 
salists  wuz  encamped.  And  I  don't  spoze  it  is 
because  they  believe  in  hotter  places,  but  it 
kinder  sets  folks  to  thinkin'.  Both  places  are 
pleasant  and  cool  enough  in  moderate  weather. 

I  hadn't  no  idee  that  so  beautiful  a  spot  wuz 
so  nigh  us.  For  as  near  as  we've  lived  to  'em, 
Josiah  and  I  never  laid  eyes  on  them  islands 
before.  But  I've  hearn  of  folks  that  lived 
within'  hearin'  of  Niagara  Falls  that  never  see 


28        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

that  grand  and  stupendous  wonder  of  the  world; 
they  didn't  see  it  just  because  they  could. 
Queer,  hain't  it?  But  it  is  a  law  of  nater,  and 
can't  be  changed. 

So  one  warm  lovely  mornin'  we  sot  out.  We 
went  by  way  of  Cape  Vincent  which  we  found 
afterwards  wuzn't  the  nearest  way,  but  we 
didn't  care,  for  it  gin  us  a  bigger  and  longer  view 
of  the  noble  St.  Lawrence.  Cape  Vincent  is  a 
good-Iookin'  place,  though  like  Josiah  and  my- 
self, it  looks  as  if  it  had  been  more  lively  and 
frisky  in  its  younger  days.  Pretty  soon  the 
big  boat  hove  in  sight.  We  embarked  and  got 
good  seats,  Whitfield  full  of  bliss  to  think  he  wuz 
started  for  his  islands. 

And  sure  enough,  tongue  can  never  tell  the 
beauty  and  grandeur  we  floated  by  that  after- 
noon; nor  pen  can't,  no,  a  quill  pen  made  out 
of  a  eagle's  wing  couldn't  soar  high  enough. 
And  my  emotions,  as  I  took  in  that  seen,  would 
been  a  perfect  sight  if  anybody  could  got  holt 
of  'em,  as  I  rode  along  on  that  mighty  river  that 
is  more  like  a  ocean  than  a  river,  holdin'  the 
water  that  flows  from  the  five  great  inland  seas 
of  North  America,  the  only  absolutely  tide- 
less  river  in  the  world.  It  is  so  immense  in  size 
that  the  spring  freshets  that  disturbs  other  big 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    29 

rivers  has  no  effect  on  its  mighty  depths,  though 
once  in  a  while,  every  three  years,  I  think  it  is, 
the  river  draws  in  her  old  breath  in  an  enormous 
sithe  two  or  three  feet  deep,  and  stays  so  for 
some  time.  I  d'no  what  makes  it  nor  nobody 
duz.  But  truly  there  is  enough  in  this  old 
world  to  sithe  about,  as  deep  sithes  as  a  mortal 
or  a  river  can  heave. 

But  to  resoom  forwards.  The  beautiful  river 
bore  us  onwards,  the  green  shores  receedin' 
on  each  side  till  pretty  soon  it  got  to  be  not 
much  shore  but  seemin'ly  all  river,  all  freshness 
and  freedom  and  blue  sparklin'  water,  and  blue 
sky  above.  Nater  wuz  foldin'  us  in  her  faithful 
arms  and  sweepin'  us  away  from  the  too  civilized 
world  into  the  freshness  and  onstudied  beauty 
of  her  own  hants. 

I  sot  there  perfectly  entranced,  and  nothin' 
occurred  to  break  my  rapt  musin's  save  my 
pardner's  request  for  a  nut  cake  and  a  biled  egg, 
and  a  longin'  murmer  about  Coney  Island  and  a 
wish  that  he  wuz  started  for  there.  But  that 
didn't  seem  to  quell  my  emotions  down.  I 
handed  the  food  to  him  with  a  hand  that  seemed 
some  distance  off  from  my  real  self. 

The  first  big  island  we  went  by  wuz  called 
Carleton.     Standin'  on  it,  loomin'  up  tall  and 


3o        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

solemn  and  mysterious,  wuz  some  high  stun 
towers.  They  stood  up  there  as  if  tellin'  us 
how  little  we  knew.  They  looked  like  great 
exclamation  points  set  there  to  express  the 
futility  of  our  boasted  knowledge. 

Who  built  them  chimblys?  Who  started  the 
fires  under  'em?  Who  drinked  the  tea  that  wuz 
steeped  there?  What  kind  of  tea  wuz  it?  Did 
the  water  bile?  How  did  them  tea  drinkers 
feel  and  look  and  act  while  them  chimblys 
carried  off  the  smoke  of  their  fire?  What  wuz 
their  highest  aspirations  and  idees?  What  wuz 
their  deepest  joy  and  keenest  pain?  What 
goles  did  they  see  ahead  on  'em,  and  did  they 
ever  set  down  on  them  goles?  I  can't  tell  nor 
Josiah  can't.  A  hundred  years  ago  one  moul- 
derin'  old  head-stun  leaned  over  the  grave  of 
one  of  that  company.  Wuz  it  a  glad  or  a  sad 
heart  that  rested  there  in  that  ancient  grave? 
Well,  the  sadness  or  the  joy  is  jest  as  much  lost 
and  forgot  as  the  smoke  that  wafted  up  towards 
the  sky  on  the  June  and  December  mornin's  of 
1600  odd. 

As  I  thought  of  all  these  things,  them  lofty 
towers  riz  up  like  gigantick  skeleton  fingers  out- 
stretched mockin'ly.  They  seemed  to  be  sayin' 
to  me  and  Josiah  and  the  world  at  large,  "You 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    31 

may  boast  of  your  inventions,  your  marvels  of 
this  age,  your  civilization,  your  glory,  your 
pryin'  into  dark  continents  and  unexplored 
regions  of  land  and  science.  But  what  do  you 
know  anyway?  Of  what  consequence  are  you? 
How  soon  your  life  and  your  memory  will  be 
utterly  wiped  out  and  forgotten.  How  soon  the 
careless  sun  will  forget  the  shadow  you  cast  on 
the  earth's  bosom.  How  soon  the  green  grass  of 
the  forgettin'  earth  will  grow  fresh  and  untrodden 
and  cover  up  the  traces  of  your  eager  footsteps, 
no  matter  how  deep  you  thought  you  had  made 
the  track  you  walked  in.  How  soon  it  is  all 
wiped  away  as  if  it  had  never  been.  And  Mom 
Nater,  instead  of  weepin'  over  your  loss,  goes 
on  wreathin'  new  flowers  for  new  hands  to 
gather,  and  mebby  forgits  to  drop  even  a  bud 
on  the  dusty  mound  where  you  lay  sleepin'  — 
the  sleep  of  long  forge tfulness. 

"Of  what  account  are  you  anyway?  Poor 
blind  voyagers,  floatin'  by  me  jest  as  so  many 
generations  have  gone  past  —  canoe  and  white 
sails  floatin'  along,  floatin'  along,  comin'  in  view 
of  me  in  the  fur  blue  hazy  distance,  comin'  into 
the  broad  light  before  me  and  glidin'  off  and 
disappearin'  in  the  shadows.  Forever  and  ever, 
new  ones  comin,'  coming  goin',  goin,'  year  after 


32        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

year,  generation  after  generation.  And  here 
we  have  stood  calm,  settled  down,  pintin'  up 
into  the  heavens  where  our  history  is  gathered 
up,  where  the  ones  that  made  our  history  are 
gathered  like  the  drops  of  spray  from  the  river 
that  has  washed  on  the  shores  at  our  feet,  and 
then  evaporated  up  agin  into  the  blue  sky." 

And  as  I  lost  sight  of  them  stun  towers  in  the 
distance,  they  seemed  to  say,  "Float  on,  poor 
voyagers;  float  along  with  your  pitiful  little 
crumbs  of  knowledge  and  wisdom  carried  so 
proudly.  How  soon  the  shadows  will  drift 
apart  to  take  you  into  'em  and  then  close  up 
and  hold  you  there  forever.  And  out  of  the 
shinin'  west  new  faces  will  come  growin'  plainer 
and  plainer  as  the  boat  draws  near;  they  will 
shine  out  full  and  clear  in  front  of  me  and  then 
glide  away  into  the  mist  —  I  shall  lose  sight  of 
'em  jest  as  I  do  of  you  to-day.  Comin' !  comin' ! 
goin' !  goin' !  They  will  look  at  me  and  wonder 
jest  as  you  do  to-day,  and  I  will  say  to  'em  jest 
as  I  do  to  you,  'Hail  and  farewell V" 

Oh  what  emotions  I  did  have!  And  I  hadn't 
more'n  got  to  this  pint  in  my  meditatin',  when 
I  hearn  a  voice  on  the  off  side  on  me  (Josiah  wuz 
on  the  nigh  side). 

The  voice  said,  "Oh  how  I  wish  I  could  be 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      33 

put  back  there  jest  a  minute  and  see  what  them 
tall  towers  see  when  they  wuz  built!" 

I  felt  that  here  wuz  a  congenial  soul  and  I  felt 
friendly  to  him  as  one  would  hail  a  familiar  sail 
when  they  wuz  floatin  on  foreign  waters.  The 
voice  went  on: 

"Oh  how  I  wish  I  could  be  a  fly,  and  fly  back 
there  for  a  hour." 

Instinctively  I  looked  round.  The  speaker 
weighed  three  hundred  pounds  if  he  did  an 
ounce,  and  the  idee  of  his  bein'  turned  into  a  fly 
seemed  to  bring  down  my  soarin'  emotions  more 
than  considerable.  Truly,  we  ort  to  be  careful 
how  we  handle  metafors.  If  he'd  said  he 
wanted  to  be  changed  into  a  elephant  or  a  camel, 
or  even  a  horse,  it  wouldn't  have  seemed  so 
curious,  but  a  fly!  !  !     Dear  me! 

Clayton  is  a  good-lookin'  drowsy  sort  of  a 
place,  and  kinder  mixed  up  lookin'  from  the  aft 
forecastle,  where  I  stood;  but  at  last  the  little 
foot  bridge  that  connected  us  with  the  shore 
wuz  took  up,  the  old  boat  gin  a  loud  yell  to 
skair  the  children  and  young  folks  back  from  the 
water's  edge,  and  the  boat  riders  from  fallin' 
off  the  boat,  and  we  sot  out  agin  and  floated 
along. 

And  now  pretty  soon  the  islands  grew  closter 


34        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

and  closter  together,  and  we  wouldn't  no  more 
than  go  by  one  lovely  one,  than  another  more 
perfect  lookin'  hove  in  sight,  and  then  another 
and  another,  each  one  seemin'ly  more  beautiful 
than  the  last. 

Some  times  we  would  go  clost  up  to  the  shore, 
by  islands  whose  green  forests  swep'  clear  down 
to  the  water's  edge,  makin'  the  water  look  green 
and  cool  and  shady,  and  the  water  would  narrow 
itself  down  between  two  houses  seemin'ly  jest 
to  be  accomodating  and  run  along  between  'em 
like  a  little  rivulet  with  water  lilies  and  butter- 
cups dippin'  down  into  it  on  each  side  and  boys 
wadin'  acrost.  Jest  think  on't,  that  big  noble- 
sized  river,  dwindlin'  itself  down  jest  to  obleege 
somebody. 

And  sometimes  big  houses  would  loom  up 
jest  above  the  water's  edge,  their  daintily  shaded 
winders  lookin'  down  into  the  green  waves  and 
reflected  there,  anon  a  stately  mansion  would 
set  back  a  little  with  towers  and  pinnacles  risin' 
above  the  green  trees,  and  cool  shady  walks 
windin'  by  summer  houses  and  bright  posy  beds, 
and  gayly  dressed  folks  walkin'  along  the 
beautiful  paths,  and  mebby  a  pretty  girl  setthV 
in  a  boat,  and  a  hull  fleet  of  boats  filled  with  gay 
pleasure  seekers  would  glide  along  like  gayly 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    35 

plumed  sea  birds,  and  fur  in  the  distance  and  on 
every  side  white  sails  would  sail  on  like  bigger 
birds  of  white  plumage,  all  set  out  for  the  Isle 
of  Happiness. 

I  pinted  out  the  metafor  to  Josiah. 

"Isle  of  Happiness r"  he  sez,  sort  o'  dreamy 
like.  "That's  right.  Serenus  sez  its  every- 
where, all  over  the  place." 

"What  place ?"  sez  I,  suspicion  darkenin' 
my  fore  top. 

"Why,  Coney  Island,"  sez  he,  "that's  the 
only  Isle  of  Happiness  I  ever  hearn  tell  on." 

I  gin  him  a  look.  "Would  you  compare 
Coney  Island  with  the  beautiful  Isle  of  Happi- 
ness that  the  poets  sing  on?"  I  sez,  severe  like. 

"Where  is  it?"  sez  he. 

"Why,"  sez  I,  "It  ain't  ennywheres.  Its  a 
metafor  of  the  brain." 

"Is  it  ketchin'?"  sez  he.  "Seems  to  me  I've 
hearn  tell  of  that  disease  before!"  And  then 
before  I  could  gin  him  an  indignant  response, 
he  stuck  his  fingers  in  his  ears  and  sot  there 
grinnin'  like  a  jimpanzee  all  the  time  I  wuz 
speakin'  out  my  mind.     But  to  resoom. 

Anon  a  bridge  would  rise  up  its  fairy  arch 
and  connect  two  islands  together,  each  one 
holdin'   a   mansion   that  looked  like  a  palace, 


36        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

and  the  bright  awnin's  of  the  winders,  the 
pillars  and  pinnacles,  and  gay  colors,  reflected 
in  the  water  makin'  fairy  palaces  below  as 
well  as  above,  and  made  the  hull  seen  as  we 
journeyed  on  one  of  enchantment,  that  would 
made  the  grand  Vizier  of  Bagdad  turn  green 
with  envy.  And  every  palace,  mansion,  and 
cottage  had  its  pretty  boat-house,  with  the 
water  layin'  there  smooth  and  invitin'  waitin' 
for  the  boats  to  be  lanched  on  its  bosom,  actin' 
for  all  the  world  like  a  first  class  family  stream, 
warranted  to  carry  safe  and  not  kick  and  act 
in  the  harness.  And  then  mebby  the  very  next 
minute  it  would  swell  itself  out  agin,  and  be 
twenty  or  thirty  milds  acrost,  rushing  hurryin', 
and  dashin'  itself  along,  hastenin'  to  the  sea. 

Actin'  as  if  it  had  sunthin'  dretful  pressin' 
and  important  to  tell  it,  and  mebby  it  had. 
Who  knows  the  language  of  the  liquid  waves 
as  they  whisper  to  each  other  on  sunny  beaches 
and  at  the  meetin'  of  placid  waters,  makin' 
love  to  each  other  like  as  not  —  one  tellin'  the 
other  of  the  sweet  cow-slip  and  ferny  medders 
it  had  to  leave  at  the  loud  call  of  its  love,  the 
River.  The  River  murmuring  back  deep  words 
of  worship  and  gratitude  at  the  feet  of  its  newly 
arrived  love. 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    37 

And  then  mebby  the  comin'  rivulet  complains, 
moanin'  kinder  low  and  sorrowful,  as  it  swashes 
up  on  sharp  stuny  beaches,  for  what  it  left 
behind.  Meadows  and  orchards  full  of  May's 
rosy  blossoms,  low  grassy  shores  fringed  with 
flowers  and  fresh,  shinin'  grasses.  And  white, 
dimpled  baby  feet  mebby  that  waded  out  in  its 
cool  shallows.  Pretty  faces  that  bent  over  its 
sheltered  pools,  as  in  a  lookin'  glass,  wavin' 
locks  that  scattered  gold  light  down  into  the 
water,  bright  eyes  that  shone  like  stars  above  it. 
I  shouldn't  wonder  a  mite  if  it  missed  'em  and 
tried  to  say  so  in  its  gentle,  pensive  swish, 
swash,  swish. 

And  then  mebby  the  River  resented  it  and 
kinder  roared  at  it;  mebby  that  is  what  it  is 
sayin'  in  its  louder  and  more  voylent  tones, 
upbraidin'  it  for  lookin'  back  to  its  more  single 
and  lonesome  career,  when  it  now  has  Him! 
Him!   Rush!   Roar!   Crush!  Roar!  Roar! 

We  can't  tell  what  the  river  is  talkin'  about, 
in  its  calm  gentle  moods  or  its  voylent  ones. 
Who  knows  what  the  loud  angry  scream  and 
screech  of  the  deep  waves  say  as  the  tempest 
and  storm  presses  down  on  'em  and  the  Deep 
answers  back  in  a  voice  of  thunder,  with  its 
great  heart  beatin'  and  heavin'  up  and  throbbin' 


38        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

in  its  mad  pain  and  frenzy?  Who  knows  what  it 
is  roarin'  out,  as  it  meets  opposin'  forces,  wave 
and  rock,  and  dashes  aginst  'em  —  fightin'  and 
dashin'  and  tryin'  to  vanquish  'em  like  as  not? 
Who  can  translate  the  voice  of  the  waters?  I 
can't,  nor  Josiah,  nor  nobody. 


CHAPTER    THREE 

We  seek  Quiet  and  Happiness 
in  their  beautiful  hants  ana 
mingle  with  the  pleasure  seekers 
of  Alexandria  Bay 


CHAPTER  THREE 

WE  SEEK  QUIET  AND  HAPPINESS  IN  THEIR 
BEAUTIFUL  HANTS  AND  MINGLE  WITH 
THE  PLEASURE  SEEKERS  OF  ALEXAN- 
DRIA BAY 

SOMETIMES  we  would  sail  through  the 
green  water,  so  clost  to  the  shore  we 
could  almost  pick  off  some  of  the  cedar 
and  pine  boughs  as  we  went  past,  and  we  could 
look  off  into  the  green  and  sunny  aisles  of  the 
trees  into  beautiful  solitude  and  quiet.  And 
we'd  want  to  foller  Quiet  and  Happiness  back 
into  them  beautiful  hants.  And  then  agin, 
we'd  float  by  an  island  where  there  would  be 
lots  of  white  tents,  with  wimmen  and  children 
and  men  and  boys  standin'  out  wavin'  their 
handkerchiefs  and  shoutin'  to  us,  good  natered 
and  sociable. 

And  agin  we'd  go  by  a  kinder  high  island  with 
a  tall,  noble  mansion  standin'  up  on  it  with 
towers  and  balconies,  and  winders  all  orna- 
mented off,  and  flags  a-flyin'.  And  every  house 
and  every  tentin'  ground  had  their  own  little 

41 


42        SAMANTHA  AT  COXEY  ISLAND 

wharfs  runnin'  down  into  the  water  and  boats 
hitched  to  'em,  jest  as  we'd  hitch  the  old  mair 
and  colt  to  a  hitchin'  post.  And  most  of  'em 
had  picturesque  boat-houses  painted  up  like 
the  houses. 

And  all  of  these  pretty  houses  and  towers  and 
flags  and  boats  and  everything  wuz  reflected 
down  into  the  water,  so  there  wuz  handsome 
pictures  above,  and  still  more  extremely  beau- 
tiful ones  below.  For  the  sunlight  shadow 
pictures  wuz  more  beautiful  fur  than  the  reality, 
as  is  often  the  case.  Every  little  sail-boat  and 
canoe  had  its  white  shadder  floatin'  along  by  it, 
shinin'  out  from  the  blue  and  sea-green  surface 
of  the  water. 

Josiah  wuz  turrible  interested  in  tryin'  to 
see  if  the  reflections  wuz  exactly  like  the  real 
seen  up  above,  and  he  kept  leanin'  over  the 
edge  of  the  boat  tryin'  to  turn  his  head  upside 
down  so's  to  git  a  better  look,  and  at  last  he 
nearly  fell  over-board  into  the  water  only  I 
grabbed  him  quick. 

Sometimes,  —  I  don't  know  what  made  it, 
—  there  would  be  long  lines  of  light  in  dif- 
ferent colors  layin'  on  the  water;  long  waveless 
furrows  of  palest  amethyst,  lilock,  pale  rose- 
color,  and  pearl,  soft  green  and  blue,  way  off 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    43 

and  near  to,  wide  and  long  and  changin'  all  the 
time.  Why,  some  of  the  time  it  would  seem 
as  if  the  surface  of  the  river  wuz  a  shinin'  pave- 
ment made  of  them  glowin'  and  lustrous  colors, 
that  you  might  walk  out  on.  And  then  agin, 
cold  Reality  would  say  to  you  that  if  you  tried 
it,  you'd  most  probable  git  drownded. 

Anon  we  went  by  a  island  with  a  house 
standin'  on  it,  the  hull  thing  seemin'ly  nothin' 
but  house  right  in  the  strongest  current  of  the 
river,  and  on  the  end  of  the  island  wuz  a  wheel 
fixed  that  run  all  the  machinery  of  the  house, 
lightin'  it,  and  pumpin'  water,  and  runnin'  the 
coffee  mill  and  sewin'  machine,  and  rockin'  the 
cradle,  for  all  I  know. 

The  river  waitin'  on  'em,  and  doin'  it  cheer- 
ful. A  soarin'  soul  of  power  and  might,  so 
strong  that  a  wink  from  its  old  eye-lids  could 
swallow  up  a  fleet  of  ships,  and  a  flirt  of  its 
fingers  overthrow  a  army  of  strongest  men  and 
toss  'em  about  like  leaves  on  an  autumn  gale. 
To  see  such  a  powerful,  noble  body,  that  wuz 
used  to  doin'  the  biggest  kind  of  jobs,  quietly 
bucklin'  down  pumpin'  water  to  supply  a  tea- 
kettle, and  churn  a  little  butter,  mebby! 

Why,  thinks  I,  what  a  lesson  to  hired  girls 
that  is,  they're  always  so  fraid  of  doin'  a  little 


44        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

more  than  it  is  their  place  to  do.  They're  so 
fraid  of  settin'  back  a  chair,  if  it  is  their  place  to 
cook,  and  so  afraid  of  bilin'  a  egg  if  it  is  their 
place  to  slick  up  the  house.  Why,  it  wuz  a 
lesson  in  morals  to  see  that  big  grand  river 
crumplin'   down   to  do  housework  for  a   spell. 

Frontenac  Island  used  to  be  called  Round 
Island,  I  guess  because  it  wuz  kinder  square  in 
shape.  It  is  a  handsome  place  with  a  immense 
hotel*  settin'  back  most  a  quarter  of  a  mild,  and 
jined  by  a  long  railed  balcony  with  another, 
makin'  room  enough,  it  seemed  to  me,  for  an 
army.  The  broad,  handsome  path  leadin'  up 
to  it  wuz  bordered  with  beautiful  flowers  and 
shrubs,  lookin'  lovely  against  the  vivid  green 
of  the  lawn. 

I  liked  the  name  Frontenac  first  rate,  and 
Point  Vivian,  and  the  name  of  the  hotel  on  St. 
Lawrence  Park,  Lotus,  seemed  highly  appro- 
priate for  the  idle  hours  of  rest  and  pleasure  in 
the  balmy  summer-time. 

And  that  park,  while  it  could  pass  itself  off 
for  an  island,  wuz  really  the  main  land.  And 
if  you  wanted  a  doctor  on  a  dark,  stormy  night, 
you  could  get  one  without  going  on  the  wild 

*  The  great  hotel  which  Samantha  here  describes  was  destroyed 
by  fire  in  August  last. 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      45 

waves;  and  if  you  got  skairt  in  the  night  and 
sot  off  to  run,  you  could  run  as  fur  as  you  wanted 
to  without  gittin'  drownded. 

I  spoke  to  Josiah  about  this  and  he  agreed 
with  me,  though  he  took  the  occasion  to  bring 
in  Coney  Island,  much  to  my  shagrin. 

"I  wish,"  sez  he,  "I  wish  we  could  stop  off 
somewheres  and  git  a  hot  dog." 

"A  hot  dog?"  sez  I,  consternation  showin'  in 
my  foretop.  "Don't  you  know  that  dogs 
roamin'  round  loose  and  overhet  in  this  sultry 
weather  is  apt  to  git  mad  and  bite  you?" 

"'Tain't  that  kind  of  animile  I  mean.  I 
mean  the  kind  they  eat  —  in  Coney  Island." 

"Do  they  eat  dogs  in  Coney  Island?"  I  asks 
in  a  faint  voice. 

"Yes,"  sez  he. 

"And  would  you  eat  enny  on't?" 

"Why  not?"  sez  he. 

"Why  not?"  I  cries  regainin'  my  voice 
to  once.  "Josiah  Allen,  have  you  became 
a  canibal  like  them  as  lives  in  heathen 
lands  and  welcomes  civilized  folks  with  open 
mouths?" 

"Oh,"  sez  he,  "'tain't  nothin'  like  that. 
These  dogs  hain't  made  o'  people.  No,  they 
air  made  from  sassiges  and  cooked  in  front  of 


46        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

a  open  grate  fire.  They  call  'em  hot  dogs  and 
Serenus  sez  — " 

I  didn't  gin  him  no  chance  to  tell  what 
Serenus  sez.  I  sez  many  things  to  him  there 
and  then  that  wuz  calculated  to  make  him  for- 
git  Coney  Island  for  awhile. 

But  to  resoom  forwards.  We  went  by  a  big 
castle  that  wuz  built  up  on  a  hill  on  a  island 
of  considerable  size  with  quite  a  grove  of  trees 
on  it.  It  wuz  a  noble,  gray  stun  castle,  with 
high  towers  and  pinnacles  shinin'  up  toward 
the  blue  sky  —  Castle  Rest,  its  name  wuz,  and 
I  thought  most  probable  anybody  could  rest 
there  first  rate.  The  one  that  built  it  and  the 
one  it  wuz  built  for,  had  gone  up  into  another 
castle  to  rest,  the  great  Castle  of  Rest,  whose 
walls  can't  be  moved  by  any  earthly  shock.  A 
good  little  mother  it  wuz  built  for,  a  hard- 
working patient,  tired-out  little  mother,  who 
wuz  left  with  a  house  full  of  boys,  and  not  much 
in  the  house,  only  boys.  How  she  worked  and 
toiled  to  keep  'em  comfortable  and  git  'em 
headed  right,  washin',  cookin',  makin',  and 
mendin';  learnin'  'em  truthfulness,  honesty, 
and  industry  with  their  letters;  teachin'  'em 
the  multiplication  table  and  the  command- 
ments;   trimmin'  off  their  childish  faults,  same 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      47 

as  she  did  their  hair;  clippin'  'em  off  with  her 
own  anxious  lovin'  hands.  Mebby  puttin'  a 
bowl  on  their  heads  and  cuttin'  round  it,  or  else 
shinglin'  'em.  But  'tennyrate  doin'  her  best 
for  them,  soul  and  body,  till  she  got  'em  headed 
right.  Some  on  'em  givin'  their  hull  lives  to 
help  men's  souls,  lovin'  this  old  world  mebby 
for  their  ma's  sake,  because  it  held  so  many  other 
good  wimmen;  for  they  jest  about  worshipped 
her  all  on  'em.  And  one  of  her  boys,  while  the 
rest  of  'em  wuz  helpin'  men  and  wimmen  to 
build  up  better  lives,  he  wuz  buildin'  up  his 
creed  of  helpfulness  and  improvement  in  bricks 
and  mortar,  tryin'  to  do  good,  there  hain't  a 
doubt  on't. 

Mebby  them  walls  didn't  stand  so  firm  as  the 
others  did,  and  tottled  more  now  and  then. 
Strange,  hain't  it,  that  solid  bricks  and  stuns, 
that  you  feel  and  see,  are  less  endurin'  and  firm 
than  the  things  you  can't  see  —  changed  lives, 
faith,  hope,  charity,  love  to  God,  good-will  to 
man,  and  that  whiter  ideals  and  loftier  aims 
and  desires  may  tower  up  higher  than  any 
chimbly  that  ever  belched  out  smoke. 

Curious  it  is  so,  but  so  it  is.  But  'tennyrate 
this  one  son  rode  on  his  sleepin'  cars  right  into 
millions,  and  his  first  thought  wuz  how  he  could 


48        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

please  best  the  little  Mother.  So  he  built  a 
castle  for  her.  Tired  little  feet,  walkin'  the 
round  of  humble  duties,  waitin'  on  her  small 
boys,  did  they  ever  expect  to  tread  the  walls  of 
a  castle?  Her  own  too.  I'll  bet  it  seemed 
dretful  big  to  her,  or  would  anyway  if  it  hadn't 
been  so  full,  so  runnin'  over  full  of  the  love  and 
thoughtfulness  of  all  of  her  boys  —  and  Love 
will  fill  and  glorify  cottage  or  castle. 

But  here  she  come  yearly  and  gathered  her 
strong,  stalwart  sons  about  her,  welcomin'  them 
with  the  same  old  tender  smile,  and  constant 
love,  and  she,  wropt  completely  round  in  the 
warm  atmosphere  of  their  love  and  devotion. 
Year  after  year  went  happily  by  till  the  last 
time  came,  and  she  went  away  out  of  her  high 
castle  into  a  still  higher  one.  But  I  liked 
Castle  Rest,  for  it  seemed  a  monument  riz  up 
to  faithful,  patient  mothers  fur  and  near,  rich  and 
poor,  by  the  hand  of  filial  gratitude  and  love. 

Comfort  Island  is  real  comfortable  lookin', 
and  Friendly  Island  looked  friendly  and  neigh- 
borly. And  Nobby  Island  looked  grand  and 
stately  instead  of  nobby,  the  great  house  settin' 
up  there  on  a  high  rock  with  big  green  lawns 
and  windin'  paths  under  the  shade  trees,  and 
the  bright  faced  posies  on  its  tall  banks  peekin' 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    49 


-     ■ 


I  liked  Castle  Rest.  It  seemed  a  monument  riz  up  to 
faithful,  patient  mothers  by  the  hand  of  filial  gratitude 
and  love."  (See  page  48) 


50        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

over  to  see  their  faces  in  the  deep  water  below, 
and  mebby  lookin'  for  the  kind  master  who  had 
gone  away  to  stay. 

And  pretty  soon  our  boat  sorter  turned 
round  and  backed  up  graceful  into  Alexandria 
Bay,  and  we  hitched  it  there  and  lay  off  agin  the 
harbor  real  neighborly.  There  wuz  two  hotels 
there  in  plain  sight,  each  one  on  'em  as  long 
as  from  our  house  to  Miss  Derias  Bobbettses, 
all  fixed  off  with  piazzas  and  porticos  and  pillows 
and  awnin's  and  handsome  colors  from  the 
basement  clear  up  —  up  —  up  to  the  ruff,  and 
the  grounds  laid  out  perfectly  beautiful.  Grass 
plats  and  terraces  and  long  flights  of  stairs,  and 
glowin'  flower  beds  and  summer  houses  and  long 
smooth  walks  and  short  ones,  and  everything. 
And  folks  all  the  time  santerin'  up  and  down  the 
terraces  and  walks,  and  up  and  down  the  piazzas 
and  balconies. 

It  beat  all  what  a  lot  of  steam  yots  and  sail- 
boats there  wuz  all  round  us.  It  seemed  as  if 
every  island  had  a  boat  of  its  own  and  had  sent 
'em  all  to  Alexandria  Bay  that  mornin'.  I 
thought  mebby  they'd  hearn  we  wuz  comin', 
and  they  wuz  there  to  git  a  glimpse  of  us.  But 
Whitfield  said  the  boats  come  to  git  the  mail, 
and  mebby  it  wuz  so. 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      51 

Every  yot  wuz  tootin'  on  its  own  separate 
engine;  it  made  the  seen  lively  but  not  melo- 
gious.  One  of  the  boats  had  a  whistle  that 
sounded  as  if  you'd  begin  to  holler  down  real 
low  and  then  let  your  voice  rise  gradual  till 
you  yelled  out  jest  as  loud  as  you  could,  and 
then  died  down  your  yell  agin  real  low. 

It  sounded  curous.  I  hearn  it  wuz  tryin'  to 
raise  and  fall  the  eight  notes,  and  it  riz  and  fell 
'em  I  should  judge. 

Some  of  the  yots  had  a  loud  shrill  whistle, 
some  a  little,  fine  clear  one;  then  one  would 
belch  out  low  and  deep  some  like  thunder.  And 
anon  our  steamer  thundered  forth  its  own  deep 
belchin'  whistle,  and  turned  round  graceful  and 
backed  off,  and  puffed,  puffed  back  agin  down 
the  bay. 

As  we  turned  round,  a  bystander,  standin' 
by,  spoke  of  Bonnie  Castle.  It  stood  up  sort 
o'  by  itself  on  a  rock  one  side  of  Alexandria  Bay. 
And  I  wondered  if  Holland's  earnest  soul  that 
had  thought  so  much  on't  once,  ever  looked 
down  on  it  now.  For  instance  when  the  full 
moon  wuz  high  in  the  cloudless  sky,  and  Bonnie 
Castle  riz  up  fair  as  a  dream,  with  blue  clear 
sky  above,  and  silence,  and  deep  blue  shinin' 
water  below  —  and  silence.     And  mebby  some 


52        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

night  bird  singin'  out  of  the  pretty  green  garden 
to  its  mate  in  the  cool  shadows.  I  wondered 
if  the  lovin'  soul  who  created  it  ever  looked 
down  from  the  blessed  life,  with  love  and  longin' 
to  the  old  earth-nest  —  home  of  his  heart.  I 
spozed  that  he  did,  but  couldn't  tell  for  certain. 
For  the  connection  has  never  been  made  fast 
and  plain  on  the  Star  Route  to  Heaven.  Love 
rears  its  stations  here  and  tries  to  take  the 
bearin's,  but  we  hain't  quite  got  the  wires  to 
jine.  Sometimes  we  feel  a  faint  jarrin'  and 
thrill  as  if  there  wuz  hands  workin'  on  the  other 
end  of  the  line.  We  feel  the  thrill,  we  see  the 
glow  of  the  signal  lights  they  hold  up,  but  we 
can't  quite  ketch  the  words.  We  strain  our 
ears  through  the  darkness  —  listening!  listening! 

Right  acrost  from  Alexandria  Bay  is  Heart 
Island;  you'd  know  it  at  night  if  you  couldn't 
see  the  island,  for  a  big  heart  of  flashin'  electric 
lights  is  lifted  up  on  a  high  pole,  that  can  be 
seen  fur  and  near.  As  well  as  the  big  shinin' 
cross  of  light  that  is  lifted  up  every  night  on 
another  island  nigh  by  in  memory  of  a  sweet 
soul  that  used  to  live  there,  and  is  lookin'  down 
on  it  now,  more'n  as  likely  as  not. 

Heart  Island  is  owned  by  a  rich  New  York 
man.     It  is  almost   covered  with  buildin's  of 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      53 

different  sizes  and  ruined  castles  (the  ruins  all 
new,  you  know;  ruined  a-purpose),  the  buildin's 
made  of  the  gray  stun  the  island  is  composed  of. 
And  there  are  gorgeous  flower  beds  and  lawns 
green  as  emerald,  and  windin'  walks  lined  with 
statuary,  and  rare  vases  runnin'  over  with 
blossoms  and  foliage,  and  a  long,  cool  harbor, 
fenced  in  with  posies  where  white  swans  sail, 
archin'  up  their  proud  necks  as  if  lookin'  down 
on  common  ducks  and  geese.  There  wuz  ancient 
stun  architecture,  and  modern  wood  rustic 
work,  and  I  sez  to  Josiah,  "They  believe  in  not 
slightin'  any  of  the  centuries;  they've  got  some 
of  most  every  kind  of  architecture  from  Queen 
Mary  down  to  Taft." 

And  he  sez,  "It  is  a  crackin'  good  plan  too; 
amongst  all  on  'em  they're  sure  to  git  some  of 
the  best." 

"Yes,"  sez  I,  "and  it  shows  a  good-hearted 
sperit  too,  not  wantin'  to  slight  anybody." 

Jest  then  I  heard  a  bystander  say,  "Amongst 
all  the  places  to  the  Islands,  this  place  and 
Browney's  take  the  cake." 

Brownings  is  another  beautiful  place  just 
round  the  corner  where  the  flower-garlanded 
rocks  looks  down  into  the  deep  clear  waters 
anxious  to  see  their  own  beauty.     And  a  hand- 


54        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

some  residence  a  little  back  and  a  big  farm  full 
of  everything  desirable. 

Only  a  little  way  acrost  from  Alexandria  Bay 
is  Westminster  Park,  a  handsome  little  village, 
with  a  big  hotel  set  back  under  its  green  trees 
and  lots  of  cottages  round  it.  A  nice  meetin' 
house  too,  and  everything  else  for  its  comfort. 
And  all  the  way  to  the  Methodist  place  we  wuz 
bound  for,  fair  islands  riz  up  out  of  the  water, 
crowned  with  trees  and  houses  and  tents  and 
everything.  No  sooner  would  you  go  by  one, 
than  another  would  hove  in  sight.  Anon  we 
come  in  sight  of  a  little  village  of  houses  fringin' 
the  shore,  called  Fair  View,  and  our  next  stoppin' 
place  wuz  the  Camp  ground.  I'd  hearn,  time 
and  agin,  they  wuz  so  strict  there  you'd  have  to 
pay  for  every  step  you  took  from  the  ship  to 
your  boarding  place.  And  if  you  said  any- 
thing, you  would  have  to  pay  so  much  a 
word;  or  if  you  sithed,  you'd  have  to  pay  so 
much  a  sithe,  or  breathe  deep  you  would  have  to 
pay  accordin'  to  the  deepness  of  your  breath. 

But  it  wuzn't  no  such  thing;  we  never  paid 
a  cent,  and  I  sithed  deep  and  frequent  on  the 
way  up  from  the  wharf,  for  weariness  lay  holt 
of  me  and  also  little  Delight.  She  preferred 
hangin'  onto  me  ruther  than  her  parents.     And 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      55 

I'd  hearn  that  you'd  be  fined  for  laughing  and 
for  a  snicker  or  giggle;  but  I  heard  several 
snickers  (Whitfield  is  full  of  fun,  and  young 
folks  will  be  young  folks,  and  talk  and  laugh) 
and  not  one  cent  did  we  see  asked  for  'em. 
Why,  I'd  hearn  that  they  wouldn't  let  a  good 
smart  whiff  of  wind  land  there  on  Sunday. 
The  trustees  kep'  'em  off  and  preached  at  'em, 
and  made  'em  blow  off  Clayton  way. 

And  I  wuz  told  that  the  Sea  Serpent  (you 
know  he  always  duz  like  summer  resorts),  took 
it  into  his  head  to  go  to  the  Islands  one  summer 
and  happened  to  git  to  the  Thousand  Island 
Park  on  Sunday,  and  wuz  swoshin'  round  in 
the  water  in  front  of  the  dock,  kinder  switchin' 
his  tail  and  actin\  And  the  trustees  got  wind 
on't  and  went  down  with  rails  and  tracts  and 
they  railed  at  him,  and  exhorted  him  and  made 
him  fairly  ashamed  of  bein'  round  on  Sunday. 
And  wantin'  to  do  a  clean  job  with  him,  bein' 
dretful  mad  at  his  bein'  out  on  the  Sabbath  day, 
they  got  a  copy  of  their  laws  and  restrictions 
governin'  the  Park,  and  they  said  when  the 
serpent  hearn  that  long  document  read  over, 
he  jest  switched  his  tail,  kinder  disgusted  like, 
and  turned  right  round  in  the  water  and  headed 
off  for  Kingston. 


56        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

But  I  don't  believe  a  word  on  it.  I  don't 
believe  much  in  the  sea  serpent  anyway,  and  I 
don't  believe  it  ever  come  nigh  the  Thousand 
Island  Park  grounds  —  only  the  usual  old  ser- 
pent of  Evil,  that  the  good  Christians  there 
fight  agin  all  they  can. 


CHAPTER    FOUR 

TVe    enjoy    the    hospitalities    of 
JVhitfeld's     aunts    boarding- 
house    at    the   Parky   and  my 
pardner  goes  a-fishitf 


CHAPTER    FOUR 

WE  ENJOY  THE  HOSPITALITIES  OF  WHIT- 
FIELD'S AUNTS  BOARDIN'-HOUSE  AT  THE 
PARK,  AND  MY  PARDNER  GOES  A-FISHIN' 

WHITFIELD'S  aunt  kep'  a  small 
boardin'-house  at  the  Park.  Of 
course  we  knew  it  would  be  fur  more 
genteel  to  go  to  the  hotel,  which  loomed  up 
stately,  settin'  back  on  its  green  lawn  right  in 
front  of  us,  as  the  ship  swep'  into  the  harbor. 

But  Josiah  sez,  "The  tender  ties  of  relation- 
ship hadn't  ort  to,  in  fact  musnt  be  broke  by  us, 
and  Miss  Dagget  would  probable  feel  dretful 
hurt  if  she  knowed  we  wuz  to  the  Park  and  had 
passed  her  coldly  by."  (She  didn't  ask  half  so 
much  for  our  boards  as  the  hotel  did ;  that  wuz 
where  the  boot  pinched  on  my  pardner's  old 
feet.) 

Whitfield  said  we  had  better  go  to  Aunt 
Dagget's  that  night  anyway,  so  we  went.  We 
found  she  lived  in  a  good-lookin'  cottage,  and 
we  had  everything  we  needed  for  comfort. 
She  wuz   a   tall,   scrawny  woman,   with   good 

59 


60        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

principles  and  a  black  alpacky  dress,  too  tight 
acrost  the  chest,  but  she  seemed  glad  to  see  us 
and  got  a  good  supper,  broiled  steak,  creamed 
potatoes,  and  cake,  and  such,  and  we  all  did 
justice  to  it  —  yes  indeed. 

After  supper  we  walked  out  to  the  post  office, 
and  round  in  front  of  the  houses  —  very  sociable 
and  nigh  together  they  are.  It  must  be  dretful 
easy  to  neighbor  there,  most  too  easy.  Why,  I 
don't  see  how  a  woman  can  talk  to  her  husband 
on  duty,  if  he  goes  in  his  stockin'  feet,  or  stays 
out  late  nights,  or  acts;  I  don't  see  how  she  can 
do  the  subject  justice  and  not  have  everybody 
in  the  encampment  know  it.  Too  neighborly 
by  fur! 

But  off  some  little  distance,  good-lookin' 
houses  stood  with  Seclusion  and  Solitude 
guardin'  their  front  doors  —  likely  guards  them 
be,  and  beloved  by  Samantha.  And  back  of  the 
Island,  glancin'  through  the  trees,  wuz  the  same 
clear  blue  sparklin'  waters  of  the  St.  Lawrence. 
They  said  they  wuz  Canada  waters,  but  I  didn't 
see  no  difference,  the  water  wuz  jest  as  blue 
and  sparklin'  and  clear. 

We  retired  early  and  our  beds  wuz  quite 
comfortable,  though  as  I  told  Josiah,  I  had  seen 
bigger  pillers,  and  I  wuz  more  settled  in  my 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      61 

mind,  as  to  whether  the  feathers  in  'em  wuz  geese 
or  hen. 

He  said  he  wuz  glad  to  lay  his  head  down 
on  anything  that  would  hold  it  up. 

And  after  I  remembered  that  Miss  Dagget's 
bed  wuz  jest  the  other  side  of  the  thin  board 
partition  I  sez,  "Yes,  Josiah,  with  weariness 
and  a  easy  conscience,  any  bed  will  seem  soft 
as  downy  pillows  are." 

The  next  day  I  felt  pretty  mauger  and  stayed 
in  my  room  most  of  the  time,  though  Josiah  and 
the  children  sallied  round  considerable.  But 
after  supper  I  felt  better  and  went  out  and  set 
down  on  the  piazza  that  run  along  the  front 
of  the  house,  and  looked  round  and  enjoyed 
myself  first  rate. 

Way  off,  between  the  trees  and  between  the 
houses,  I  could  see  the  dear  old  Saint  meanderin' 
along,  blue  and  gold  colored  where  the  sun 
struck  the  shining  surface.  And,  dearer  sight 
to  me,  I  could  catch  a  glimpse  through  the 
interstices  of  the  trees,  of  my  beloved  pardner 
and  little  Delight  in  her  white  dress  and  flut- 
terin'  blue  ribbons  walkin'  along  by  his  side. 
Whitfield  and  Tirzah  Ann  had  gone  santerin' 
off  some  time  before. 

The  hour  and  the  seen  wuz  both  beautiful 


62        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

and  soothin\  The  little  streets  between  the 
houses  stretched  out  on  every  side,  some  on  'em 
bordered  with  trees.  Gay  awnings  wuz  over 
the  doors  and  winders,  flowering  shrubs  and 
posies  set  off  the  yards,  and  the  piazzas  orna- 
mented by  the  good-lookin'  folks  settin'  out  on 
chairs  and  benches,  the  wimmen  in  light, 
pretty  summer  gowns,  and  there  wuz  babies  in 
their  perambulators  perambulatin'  along  and 
pretty  children  runnin'  and  playin'  about. 

Anon  or  oftener  a  group  of  good-lookin' 
cottagers  would  sally  out  of  their  houses  and 
santer  along,  or  a  pedestrian  in  a  hurry  would 
walk  by.  It  seemed  like  the  land  where  it  is 
always  afternoon,  that  I'd  hearn  Thomas  J. 
read  about, 

The  island  valley  of  Avilion, 

Where  falls  not  rain  or  hail  or  any  snow, 

Nor  ever  wind  blows  loudly  — 

Deep  meadowed,  happy,  fair  with  orchard  lawns 

And  bowery  hollows,  crowned  by  summer  sea. 

It  wuz  a  fair  seen!  a  fair  seen!  and  my  soul 
seemed  attuned  to  its  perfect  harmony  and 
peace.  When  all  of  a  sudden  I  hearn  these 
strange  and  skairful  words  comin'  like  a  sharp 
shower  of  hail  from  a  clear  June  sky:  — 

"Malviny  is  goin'  to  freeze  to-night!" 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      63 

There  wuz  a  skairful  axent  on  the  word 
"freeze"  that  seemed  to  bring  all  of  Malviny's 
suffering  right  in  front  of  me.  But  so  strong  is 
my  common  sense  that  even  in  that  agitatin' 
time  I  thought  to  myself,  as  I  wiped  the  perspi- 
ration from  my  foretop,  "Good  land!  what  is 
Malviny  made  of  to  be  even  comfortable  cool 
to  say  nothin'  of  freezin'."  And  my  next 
thought  wuz,  "What  sort  of  a  place  have  I 
got  into?"  Truly,  I  had  read  much  of  the 
hardenin'  effects  of  fashion  and  style,  but  I  little 
thought  they  would  harden  so  fearful  hard. 
None  of  these  men  and  wimmen  settin'  on  them 
piazzas  had  gin  any  more  attention  to  the  blood- 
curdlin'  news  that  a  feller  creeter  so  nigh  'em 
wuz  perishin',  no  more  than  if  they'd  seen  a 
summer  leaf  flutterin'  down  from  the  boughs 
overhead. 

I  thought  of  the  rich  man  and  Lazarus,  only 
kinder  turned  round  and  freezin'  instead  of 
burnin'.  I  felt  bad  and  queer.  But  anon  he 
drew  nigh  the  porch  I  wuz  settin'  on  and  looked 
up  into  my  face  with  the  same  harrowin'  state- 
ment, "Malviny  is  a-goin'  to  freeze  to-night!" 

And  I  said,  with  goose  pimples  runnin'  down 
my  back  most  as  bad  as  I  mistrusted  as  Mal- 
viny had,  "Who  is  Malviny?" 


64        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

He  stopped  and  sez,  "She  is  my  wife/' 

His  indifferent  mean  madded  me  and  I  sez, 
"Well,  you  good-for-nothin'  snipe  you,  instead 
of  traipsin'  all  over  the  neighborhood  tellin' 
of  your  wife's  state,  why  hain't  you  to  home 
buildin'  a  fire  and  heatin'  soap  stuns  and  bricks, 
and  steepin'  pepper  tea?" 

"What  for?"  sez  he,  amazed  like. 

"Why,  to  keep  Malviny  from  freezin\" 

"I  don't  want  to  stop  it,"  sez  he. 

Sez  I,  "Do  you  want  your  wife  to  freeze?" 

"Yes,"  sez  he. 

Sez  I,  lookin'  up  and  apostophrizin'  the  clear 
sky  that  looked  down  like  a  big  calm  blue  eye 
overhead,  "Are  such  things  goin'  on  here  in  a 
place  so  good  that  folks  can't  git  a  letter  Sun- 
days to  save  their  lives,  or  embark  to  see  their 
friends  if  they're  dyin'  or  dead;  is  such  a  place," 
I  groaned,  "to  condone  such  wickedness!" 

Sez  the  man,  "What  harm  is  there  in  Mal- 
viny's  freezin'?" 

Sez  I,  "You  heartless  wretch,  you!  if  I  wuz 
a  man  I'd  shake  some  of  the  wickedness  out 
of  you,  if  I  had  to  be  shot  up  the  minute 
afterwards!" 

"What  harm  is  there  in  freezin'  ice-cream?" 
sez  he. 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      65 

Sez  I,  astounded,  "Is  that  what  Malviny's 
freezing" 

"Yes,"  sez  he. 

I  sunk  back  weak  as  a  cat. 

Sez  he,  "I  bring  it  round  to  the  cottages 
every  time  Malviny  freezes;  they  give  me  their 
orders  if  they  want  any." 

"Well,"  sez  I  in  a  faint  voice,  "I  don't  want 
any."  Truly  I  felt  that  I  had  had  enough  chill 
and  shock  for  one  day. 

Well,  Whitfield  and  Tirzah  Ann  come  in  pretty 
soon  and  she  wuz  all  enthused  with  the  place. 
They'd  been  up  the  steep  windin'  way  to  Sun- 
rise Mountain,  and  gazed  on  the  incomparable 
view  from  there.  Looked  right  down  into  the 
wind-kissed  tops  of  the  lofty  trees  and  all  over 
'em  onto  the  broad  panaroma  of  the  river,  with 
its  innumerable  islands  stretched  out  like  a 
grand  picture  painted  by  the  one  Great  Artist. 
They  had  seen  the  little  artist's  studio,  perched 
like  a  eagle's  nest  on  top  of  the  mountain. 
Some  dretful  pretty  pictures  there,  both  on  the 
inside  of  the  studio  and  outside. 

And  they  had  stopped  at  the  Indian  camp, 
and  Tirzah  bought  some  baskets  which  they 
see  the  Indians  make  right  before  their  eyes  out 
of  the  long  bright  strips  of  willow.     And  I  spoze, 


66        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

seem'  the  brown  deft  fingers  weavin'  their  gay 
patterns,  Tirzah  Ann  wuz  carried  back  some 
distance  into  the  land  of  romance  and  Cooper's 
novels,  and  "Lo  the  Poor  Indian"  Stories. 
She's  very  romantick. 

And  she'd  gone  into  the  place  where  they 
blow  glass  right  before  your  eyes  and  then  cut 
your  name  on  it.  I  couldn't  do  it  to  save 
my  life.  I  might  jest  as  well  give  right  up  if 
I  wuz  told  that  I  had  got  to  blow  jest  a  plain 
bottle  out  of  some  sand  and  stuff.  And  they 
blow  out  the  loveliest,  queerest  things  you  ever 
see:  ships  in  full  sail  with  the  ropes  and  riggin' 
of  the  most  delicate  and  twisted  strands  of 
brilliancy;  tall  exquisite  vases  with  flowers 
twisted  all  about  'em.  Posies  of  all  kinds, 
butterflies,  cups,  tumblers,  etc.  They  had  been 
into  all  the  little  art  and  bookstores,  full  of  pic- 
tures and  needle  work,  shells,  painted  stuns, 
books,  and  the  thousand  and  one  souvenirs  of 
all  kinds  of  the  Thousand  Islands.  When 
Josiah  come  in  he  said  he  had  interviewed  ten  or 
a  dozen  men  about  Coney  Island  —  all  on  'em 
had  been  there  —  I  wuz  discouraged,  I  thought 
I  might  jest  as  well  let  him  loose  with  Serenus. 

Well,  Whitfield  of  course  couldn't  wait  an- 
other  minute,    without   seein'    Shadow   Island, 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    67 

so  the  next  day  we  went  over  there  right  after 
dinner.  Josiah  proposed  enthusiastickly  to  fish 
on  the  way  there.  Sez  he,  "  Samantha,  how  I  do 
wish  we  could  git  a  periouger  to  go  in." 

"A  what?"  sez  I. 

"A  periouger,"  sez  he,  "that  we  could  go 
fishin'  in,  a  very  uneek  boat." 

"Uneek!"  sez  I,  "I  should  think  as  much. 
Where  did  you  ever  ever  hear  on't?" 

"In  Gasses  Journal,  Gass  used  to  go  round 
in    em. 

Sez  I,  "That  book  wuz  published  before 
George  Washington  wuz  born,  or  Bunker  Hill 
thought  on." 

"What  of  it?"  sez  he;  "that  wouldn't  hender 
a  periouger  from  bein'  a  crackin'  good  con- 
venience to  go  round  on  the  water  in,  and  I'm 
goin'  to  try  to  git  one  to-day.  I  bet  my  hat 
they  have  'em  to  Coney  Island." 

I  tried  to  stop  him.  I  didn't  want  him  to 
demean  himself  before  the  oarsmen  and  on- 
lookers by  tryin'  to  find  boats  that  hadn't  been 
hearn  on  in  hundreds  of  years.  But  I  couldn't 
git  the  idea  out  of  his  head  till  after  dinner. 
Then  he  wuz  more  meller  and  inclined  to  listen 
to  reason.  It  wuz  a  oncommon  good  meal,  and 
he  felt  quite  softened  down  in  his  mean  by  the 


68        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 


/  tried  to  stop  him.  I  didn't  want  him  to  demean  him- 
self before  the  oarsmen  tryin'  to  find  boats  that  hadn't 
been  hearn  on  in  hundreds  of  years'''  (See  page  67) 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      69 

time  he  finished.  And  Whitfield's  boatman 
he'd  engaged  come  with  a  good  sizeable  boat 
and  we  sot  sail  for  Shadow  Island. 

When  we  got  there  the  sun  wuz  tingin'  the 
tops  of  the  trees  with  its  bright  light,  but  the 
water  on  the  nigh  side,  where  we  landed,  wuz 
cool  and  green  and  shadowy.  Dretful  fresh 
and  restful  and  comfortable  that  hot  muggy  day. 

We  disembarked  on  the  clean  little  wharf 
and  walked  up  to  the  lot  Whitfield  had  bought. 
It  wuz  a  pretty  place  in  a  kind  of  a  holler 
between  high  rocks,  but  with  a  full  and  fair 
view  of  the  river  on  the  nigh  side,  on  the  off 
side  and  on  the  back  the  tall  trees  riz  up.  The 
site  of  the  house  mebby  bein'  so  low  down  wuz 
the  reason  that  there  wuz  good  deep  earth 
there.  Tirzah  Ann  spoke  of  that  most  the 
first  thing:  — 

"I  can  have  a  good  suller,  can't  I?" 

Whitfield  spoke  first  of  the  view  from  the 
river,  and  little  Delight  sez,  "Oh  what  soft 
pretty  grass." 

Josiah  looked  round  for  a  minute  on  the 
entrancin'  beauty  of  the  water  and  the  islands 
and  up  into  the  green  shadders  of  the  trees 
overhead,  and  then  off  into  the  soft  blue  haze 
that  wropped  the  beautiful  shores  in   the  dis- 


7o        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

tance.  After  gazin'  silently  for  a  minute  he 
turned  to  me  and  sez,  "Didn't  you  bring  any 
nut  cakes  with  you?  I'd  like  one  to  eat  whilst 
I  think  of  another  Island  far  more  beautiful 
than  this,  where  I  yearn  to  be." 

I  groaned  in  spirit  but  handed  him  the  desired 
refreshment,  and  then  we  talked  over  the  sub- 
ject of  the  cottage.  Whitfield  thought  it  would 
be  splendid  for  the  health  of  Tirzah  Ann  and 
the  children,  to  say  nothin'  of  their  happiness. 
She  and  Delight  both  looked  kinder  pimping 
and  he  sez,  "Mother,  I've  got  the  lot,  and  now 
I  am  going  to  lay  up  money  just  as  fast  as  I  can 
for  our  house;  I  hope  we  can  live  here  in  a  year 
or  two  anyway." 

Well,  we  stayed  here  for  quite  a  spell,  Whit- 
field and  Tirzah  Ann  buildin'  castles  higher 
than  Castle  Rest,  on  the  foundations  of  their 
rosy  future,  underlaid  with  youth  and  glowin' 
hope  —  the  best-lookin'  underpinnin'  you  can 
find  anywhere.  And  little  Delight  rolled  on 
the  green  moss  and  built  her  rosy  castles  in  the 
illumined  present,  as  children  do.  And  I  looked 
off  onto  the  fur  blue  waters  some  as  if  I  wuz 
lookin'  into  the  past.  And  furder  off  than  I 
could  see  the  water,  the  meller  blue  haze  lay 
that  seemed  to  unite  earth  and  heaven,  and  I 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      71 

looked  on  it,  and  way  off,  way  off,  and  thought 
of  a  good  many  things. 

Josiah  wuz  tryin'  to  ketch  a  fish  for  supper; 
the  boatman  had  a  pole  and  fish  hook,  but  he 
couldn't  ketch  any,  he  hadn't  any  nack;  it  takes 
nack  to  ketch  fish  as  well  as  worms. 


CHAPTER    FIVE 

yosiati  s  imagination  about  his 
fishiri*  exploits  carries  him  to 
a  pint  where  I  have  to  re~ 
buke  him^  which  makes  him 
dretful  huffy 


CHAPTER    FIVE 

JOSIAH'S  IMAGINATION  ABOUT  HIS  FISHIN9 
EXPLOITS  CARRIES  HIM  TO  A  PINT 
WHERE  I  HAVE  TO  REBUKE  HIM,  WHICH 
MAKES  HIM  DRETFUL  HUFFY 

THE  next  morning  we  went  over  to 
Alexandria  Bay  on  a  tower.  We 
walked  up  to  the  immense  hotels  past 
the  gay  flower  beds  that  seemed  to  be  growing 
right  out  of  the  massive  gray  boulders,  and  great 
wilier  trees  wuz  droppin'  their  delicate  green 
branches  where  gayly  dressed  ladies  and  good- 
lookin'  men  wuz  settin'.  And  in  front  wuz 
fleets  of  little  boats  surroundin'  the  big  white 
steamboats,  jest  as  contented  as  big  white 
geese  surrounded  by  a  drove  of  little  goslins. 

I'd  hearn  that  the  great  hotel  that  wuz 
nighest  to  us  looked  by  night  jest  like  one  of 
the  fairy  palaces  we  read  about  in  Arabian 
Nights,  and  one  night  we  see  it.  From  the 
ground  clear  up  to  the  high  ruff  it  wuz  all 
ablaze  with  lines  of  flashin'  light,  and  I  sez 
instinctively  to  myself,  "Jerusalem  the  golden !" 


76        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

and  "Pan  American  Electric  Tower!"  And 
I  d'no  which  metafor  satisfied  me  best.  'Tenny- 
rate  this  had  the  deep  broad  river  flowin' 
on  in  front,  reflectin'  every  glowin'  light  and 
buildin'  another  gleamin'  castle  down  there 
more  beautiful  than  the  one  on  land.  Josiah's 
only  remark  wuz  "Coney  Island !"  Everything 
seems  to  make  him  think  on't,  from  a  tooth 
pick  to  a  tower.  Ten  thousand  electric  lights 
wuz  the  number  that  lit  up  that  one  house, 
so  I  hearn. 

The  big  engine  and  chimney  they  use  to 
turn  the  water  into  glorious  light,  towers  up 
behind  the  hotel,  and  made  such  a  noise  and 
shook  the  buildin'  so  that  folks  couldn't  stand 
it,  and  they  jest  collared  that  noise  as  Josiah 
would  take  a  dog  he  couldn't  stop  barkin'  by 
the  scruff  of  the  neck  and  lock  it  up  in  the 
stable,  jest  so  they  took  that  noise  and  rumblin' 
and  snaked  it  way  offen  into  the  river  in  a  pipe 
or  sunthin',  so  it  keeps  jest  as  still  now  up  there 
as  if  it  wuzn't  doin'  a  mite  of  work.  Queer, 
hain't  it?     But  to  resoom. 

It  wuz  indeed  a  fair  seen  to  turn  round  when 
you  wuz  about  half  way  up  the  flower  strewn 
declivity  and  look  afar  off  over  the  wharf  with 
its  gay  crowd,  over  the  boats  gaily  ridin'  at 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      77 

anchor,  and  behold  the  fairy  islands  risin' 
from  the  blue  waves  crested  with  castles, 
and  mansions  and  cottage  ruffs,  chimblys  and 
towers  all  set  in  the  green  of  the  surroundin' 
trees. 

And,  off  fur  as  the  eye  could  see,  way  through 
between  and  around,  wuz  other  beautiful 
islands  and  trees  covered  with  spires  and  ruffs 
peepin'  out  of  the  green.  And  way  off,  way 
off  like  white  specks  growin*  bigger  every  minute, 
wuz  great  ships  floatin'  in,  and  nearer  still 
would  be  anon  or  oftener  majestic  ships  and 
steamers  ploughin'  along  through  the  blue 
waves,  sailin'  on  and  goin'  right  by  and  mindin' 
their  own  bizness. 

Well,  when  at  last  we  did  tear  ourselves 
away  from  the  environin'  seen  and  walk  acrost 
the  broad  piazzas  and  into  the  two  immense 
hotels,  as  we  looked  around  on  the  beauty  of 
our  surroundin's,  nothin'  but  the  inward  sense 
of  religious  duty  seemed  strong  enough  to  draw 
us  back  to  Thousand  Island  Park,  though  that 
is  good-lookin'  too. 

But  the  old  meetin'  house  with  its  resistless 
cords,  and  the  cast-iron  devotion  of  a  pardner 
wound  their  strong  links  round  me  and  I  wuz 
more  than  willin'  to  go  back  at  night.     Josiah 


78        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

didn't  come  with  us,  he'd  gone  fishin'  with 
another  deacon  he'd  discovered  at  the  Park. 

Well,  we  santered  through  the  bizness  and 
residence  streets  and  went  into  the  free  library, 
a  quaint  pretty  building  full  of  good  books 
with  a  memorial  to  Holland  meetin'  you  the 
first  thing,  put  up  there  by  the  hands  of  Grati- 
tude. And  we  went  into  the  old  stun  church, 
which  the  dead  master  of  Bonnie  Castle  thought 
so  much  on  and  did  so  much  for,  and  is  full  of 
memories  of  him.  Whitfield  thinks  a  sight  of 
his  writings;  he  sez  "they  dignify  the  common- 
place, and  make  common  things  seem  oncom- 
mon."  Katrina,  Arthur  Bonniecastle,  Miss 
Gilbert,  Timothy  Titcomb  the  philosopher,  all 
seemed  to  walk  up  and  down  with  Whitfield 
there. 

And  while  there  we  took  a  short  trip  to  the 
Lake  of  the  Isles,  a  lovely  place,  where  instead 
of  boats  full  of  gigglin'  girls  with  parasols,  and 
college  boys  with  yells  and  oars,  the  water 
lilies  float  their  white  perfumed  sails,  and 
Serenity  and  Loneliness  seem  to  kinder  drift 
the  boat  onwards,  and  the  fashion-tired  be- 
holder loves  to  hasten  there,  away  from  the 
crowd,  and  rest. 

Every  mind  can  be  suited  at  the  Islands,  the 


AXD  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      79 

devotee  of  fashion  can  swirl  around  in  its  vor- 
tex, and  for  them  who  don't  care  for  it  there 
are  beautiful  quiet  places  where  that  vortex 
don't  foam  and  geyser  round,  and  all  crowned 
with  the  ineffable  beauty  of  the  St.  Lawrence. 

And  we  sailed  by  the  Island  of  Summer  Land 
(a  good  name),  where  a  beloved  pastor  and  his 
children  in  the  meetin'  house  settled  down  so 
long  ago  that  Fashion  hadn't  found  out  how 
beautiful  the  Thousand  Islands  wuz.  They 
come  here  for  rest  and  recreation,  and  built 
their  cottages  along  the  undulatin'  shore  in 
the  shape  of  a  great  letter  S.  It  wuz  a  pretty 
spot. 

When  the  boat  wuz  ready  to  go  back  at 
night  I  wuz,  and  wuz  conveyed  in  safety  at 
about  six  p.m.  to  the  bosom  of  my  family.  I 
say  this  poetically,  for  the  bosom  wuzn't  there 
when  I  got  back;  it  hadn't  come  in  from  fishin' 
yet,  and  when  it  did  come  it  wuz  cross  and 
fraxious,  for  the  other  deacon  had  caught  two 
fish  and  he  hadn't  any.  He  said  he  felt  sick, 
and  believed  he  wuz  threatened  with  numony, 
but  he  wuzn't;  it  wuz  only  madness  and  cross- 
ness, that  kinder  stuffs  anybody  up  some  like 
tizik. 

Well,  Whitfield  found  a  letter  that  made  it 


80        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

necessary  for  him  to  return  to  Jonesville  to  once, 
and  of  course  Tirzah  Ann,  like  the  fond  wife  and 
mother  she  wuz,  would  take  little  Delight  and 
go  with  him.  But  after  talkin'  to  Josiah,  Whit- 
field concluded  they  would  stay  over  one  day 
more  to  go  fishin'.  So  the  very  next  mornin' 
he  got  a  big  roomy  boat,  and  we  sot  out  to  troll 
for  fish.  The  way  they  do  this  is  to  hitch  a 
line  on  behind  the  boat  and  let  it  drag  through 
the  water  and  catch  what  comes  to  it.  And 
as  our  boat  swep'  on  over  the  glassy  surface 
of  the  water  that  lay  shinin'  so  smooth  and 
level,  not  hintin'  of  the  rocks  and  depths  below, 
I  methought,  "Here  we  be  all  on  us,  men  and 
wimmen,  fishin'  on  the  broad  sea  of  life,  and 
who  knows  what  will  tackle  the  lines  we  drop 
down  into  the  mysterious  depths?  We  sail 
along  careless  and  onthinkin'over  rush  and  rapid, 
depth  and  shallow,  the  line  draggin'  along. 
Who  knows  what  we  may  feel  all  of  a  sudden 
on  the  end  of  the  line?  Who  knows  what  we 
may  be  ketchin'  ontirely  onbeknown  to  us? 
We  may  be  ketchin'  happiness,  and  we  may  be 
layin'  holt  of  sorrow.  A  bliss  may  be  jerked 
up  by  us  out  of  the  depth;  agin  a  wretchedness 
and  a  heart-ache  may  grip  holt  the  end  of  the 
line.     Poor  fishers  that  we  be!   settin'  in  our 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    81 

frail  little  shallop  on  deep  waters  over  onknown 
depths,  draggin'  a  onceasin'  line  along  after 
us  night  and  day,  year  in  and  year  out.  The 
line  is  sot  sometimes  by  ourselves,  but  a  great 
hand  seems  to  be  holdin'  ours  as  we  fasten  on 
the  hook,  a  great  protectin'  Power  seems  to  be 
behind  us,  tellin'  us  where  to  drop  the  line,  for 
we  feel  sometimes  that  we  can't  help  ourselves." 

I  wuz  engaged  in  these  deep  thoughts  as  we 
glided  onwards.  Josiah  wuz  wrestlin'  with  his 
hat  brim,  he  would  have  acted  pert  and  happy 
if  it  hadn't  been  for  that.  At  my  request  he 
had  bought  a  straw  hat  to  cover  his  eyes  from 
the  sun  and  preserve  his  complexion,  and  so 
fur  is  that  man  from  megumness  that  he  had 
got  one  with  a  brim  so  broad  that  it  stood  out 
around  his  face  like  a  immense  white  wing, 
floppin'  up  and  down  with  every  gust  of  wind. 
He  had  seen  some  fashionable  young  feller 
wear  one  like  it  and  he  thought  it  would  be 
very  becomin'  and  stylish  to  get  one  for  a 
fishin'  excursion,  little  thinkin'  of  the  discom- 
fort it  would  give  him. 

"Plague  it  all!"  sez  he,  as  it  would  flop  up 
and  down  in  front  of  his  eyes  and  blind  him, 
"what  made  me  hear  to  you,  goin'  a-fishin' 
blind  as  a  bat!" 


82        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

Sez  I,  "Why  didn't  you  buy  a  megum-sized 
one?    Why  do  you  always  go  to  extremes?" 

"To  please  you!"  he  hollered  out  from  under 
his  blinders.     "Jest  to  please  you,  mom!" 

Sez  I,  "Josiah  Allen,  you  know  you  did  it 
for  fashion,  so  why  lay  it  off  onto  me?  But," 
sez  I,  "if  you'll  keep  still  I'll  fix  it  all  right." 

"Keep  still!"  sez  he,  "I  don't  see  any  pros- 
pect of  my  doin'  anything  else  when  I  can't 
see  an  inch  from  my  nose." 

"Well,"  sez  I,  "push  the  brim  back  and  I'll 
tie  it  down  with  my  braize  veil." 

"I  won't  wear  a  veil!"  sez  he  stoutly.  "No, 
Samantha,  no  money  will  make  me  rig  up  like 
a  female  woman  right  here  in  a  fashionable 
summer  resort,  before  everybody.  How  would 
a  man  look  with  a  veil  droopin'  down  and 
drapin'  his  face?" 

"Well,"  sez  I,  "then  go  your  own  way." 

But  the  next  time  a  gale  come  from  the  sou'- 
west  he  wuz  glad  to  submit  to  my  drapin'  him; 
so  I  laid  the  brim  back  and  tied  the  veil  in  a  big 
bow  knot  under  his  chin.  Then  agin  he  reviled 
the  bow,  and  said  it  would  make  talk.  But  I 
held  firm  and  told  him  I  wuzn't  goin'  to  tear 
my  veil  tiein'  it  in  a  hard  knot.  And  he  soon 
forgot  his  discomposure  in  wearin'  braize  veils, 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      83 


/  won't  wear  a  veil,9  sez  he  stoutly.  But  the  next  time  a 
gale  come  from  the  sou9west  I  laid  the  brim  back  and 
tied  the  veil  in  a  big  bow  knot  under  his  chin.'" 

(See  page  82) 


84        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

in  his  happiness  at  the  idee  of  ketchin'  fish, 
so's  to  tell  the  different  deacons  on't  when  he 
got  home. 

Men  do  love  to  tell  fish  stories.  Men  who 
are  truthful  on  every  other  pint  of  the  law, 
will,  when  they  measure  off  with  their  hands 
how  long  the  fish  is  that  they  ketched,  stretch 
out  that  measure  more'n  considerable. 

Well,  as  I  say,  as  our  boat  glided  on  between 
the  green  islands,  anon  in  shadder  and  then 
agin  out  in  sunny  stretches  of  glassy  seas,  I 
looked  off  on  the  glorified  distance  and  thought 
of  things  even  furder  away  than  that.  Tirzah 
Ann  wuz  engaged  in  tryin'  to  keep  the  sun  out 
of  her  face;  she  said  anxiously  she  wuz  afraid 
she  would  git  a  few  frecks  on  her  nose  in  spite 
of  all  she  could  do.  Whitfield  wuz  amusin' 
Delight,  and  Josiah  ever  and  anon  speakin'  of 
Coney  Island  and  askin'  if  it  wuzn't  time  to 
eat  our  lunch.     So  the  play  of  life  goes  on. 

We  didn't  ketch  much  of  anything,  only  I 
ketched  considerable  of  a  headache.  Tirzah 
Ann  ketched  quite  a  number  of  frecks;  she 
complained  that  she  had  burnt  her  nose. 
Delight  did,  I  guess,  ketch  quite  an  amount 
of  happiness,  for  the  experience  wuz  new  to 
her,  and  children  can't  bag  any  better  or  more 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      85 

agreeable  game  than  Novelty.  And  Whitfield 
did  seem  to  ketch  considerable  enjoyment;  he 
loves  to  be  out  on  the  water. 

My  pardner  drew  up  one  tiny,  tiny  fish  out 
of  the  depths;  it  looked  lonesome  and  exceed- 
ingly fragile,  but  oh  how  that  man  brooded 
over  that  triumph !  And  by  the  time  we  reached 
Jonesville  and  he  related  that  experience  to 
the  awe-struck  neighbors  it  wuz  a  thrillin'  and 
excitin'  seen  he  depictered,  and  that  tiny  fish- 
let  had  growed,  in  the  fertile  sile  of  his  warm 
imagination,  to  such  a  length,  that  I  told  him 
in  confidence  out  to  one  side,  that  if  I  ever 
hearn  him  go  on  so  agin  about  it,  and  if  that 
fish  kep'  a  growin'  to  that  alarmin'  extent,  I 
should  have  to  tell  its  exact  length;  it  wuz  jest 
as  long  as  my  middle  finger,  for  I  measured  it 
on  the  boat,  foreseein'  trouble  with  him  in  this 
direction. 

It  made  him  dretful  huffy,  and  he  sez,  "I 
can't  help  it  if  you  do  have  a  hand  like  a 
gorilla's." 

It  hain't  so;  I  never  wore  higher  than  num- 
ber 7.  But  I  have  never  seen  him  since  pull 
out  his  hands  so  recklessly  measurin'  off  the 
dimensions  of  that  fish,  or  gin  hints  that  it 
took  two  men  to  carry  it  up  from  the  boat  to 


86        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

the  hotel,    and   insinuate  on   how   many   wuz 
nourished  on  it,  and  for  how  long  a  time. 

No,  I  broke  it  up.  But  Josiah  Allen  hain't 
the  only  man  that  stretches  out  the  fish  they 
have  ketched,  as  if  they  wuz  made  of  the  best 
kind  of  Injy  rubber.  It  seems  nateral  to  men's 
nater  to  tell  fibs  about  fish.  Curious,  hain't 
it?  That  is  one  of  the  curious  things  that  lay 
holt  of  our  lines.  And  wimmen  have  to  see 
squirmin'  at  their  feet  anon  or  oftener,  game 
that  flops  and  wriggles  and  won't  lay  still  and 
grows  all  the  time. 


CHAPTER    SIX 

In  which  I  draw  the  matrimonial 
line    round    my    pardner    and 
also    keep    my    eye    on     Mr. 
Pomper 


CHAPTER    SIX 

IN  WHICH  I  DRAW  THE  MATRIMONIAL  LINE 
ROUND  MY  PARDNER  AND  ALSO  KEEP 
MY  EYE  ON  MR.    POMPER 

THE  next  mornin'  Whitfield  and  Tirzah 
went  home,  Josiah  and  I  thinkin'  we 
would  stay  a  few  days  longer.  And 
what  should  I  git  but  a  letter  from  Cousin 
Faithful  Smith  savin'  that  her  Aunt  Petrie 
beyond  Kingston  wuz  enjoyin'  poor  health,  and 
felt  that  she  must  have  Faith  come  and  visit 
her  before  she  went  West.  So  she  wuz  goin' 
to  cut  short  her  visit  to  the  Smithses  and  go  to 
her  Aunt  Petrie's  on  her  way  to  the  West,  and 
as  she  had  heard  Josiah  and  I  wuz  to  the 
Islands,  she  would  stop  and  stay  a  few  days 
with  us  there.  And  as  the  letter  had  been 
delayed,  she  wuz  to  be  there  that  very  day 
on  the  afternoon  boat.  So  of  course  Josiah 
and  I  met  her  at  Clayton.  And  I  went  to  the 
boardin'-house  keeper  to  see  if  I  could  git  her 

a  room. 

89 


9o        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

But  she  wuz  full,  Miss  Dagget  wuz;  and  when 
anybody  is  full  there  is  no  more  to  be  said;  so 
with  many  groanin's  from  my  pardner,  on 
account  of  the  higher  price,  we  concluded  we 
would  git  rooms  at  the  hotel,  that  big  roomy 
place,  with  broad  piazzas  runnin'  round  it 
and  high  ruffs.  And  as  Josiah  said  bitterly, 
the  ruffs  wuzn't  any  higher  than  the  prices. 
And  I  told  him  the  prices  wuzn't  none  too  high 
for  what  we  got,  and  I  sez,  "We  are  gittin'  along 
in  years  and  don't  often  rush  into  such  high 
expenses,  so  we'll  make  the  venter." 

And  he  groaned  out,  "Good  reason  why  we 
don't  make  the  venter  often,  unless  we  want 
to  go  on  the  Town!" 

And  then  he  kinder  brightened  up  and  won- 
dered if  he  couldn't  make  a  dicker  with  the 
hotel-keeper  to  take  a  yearlin'  steer  to  pay 
for  our  two  boards. 

And  I  sez,  "What  duz  he  want  of  a  yearlin' 
steer  here  in  the  midst  of  a  genteel  fashion 
resort?" 

And  he  snapped  me  up  and  said  he  didn't 
know  as  there  wuz  anything  onfashionable  or 
ongenteel  about  a  likely  yearlin'.  Sez  he,  "I'll 
bet  they'd  take  it  at  Coney  Island." 

"Well,  what  would  he  do  with  it  here?"  sez  I. 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      91 

"Why,  do  as  I  do  with  it;  let  it  grow  up  and 
make  clear  gain  on  its  growth." 

"Oh  shaw!"  sez  I,  "he  couldn't  have  it  bel- 
lerin'  round  amongst  the  gay  and  fashionable 
throng." 

"It  wouldn't  beller,"  sez  he,  "if  he  fed  it 
enough." 

I  broke  it  up  after  a  long  talk,  for  I  wouldn't 
let  him  demean  himself  by  askin'  the  question 
and  bein'  refused,  and  then  he  said  he  wuz  goin' 
to  ask  him  if  he  would  take  white  beans  for  his 
pay,  or  part  of  it,  or  mebby,  sez  he,  "he  would 
like  to  take  a  few  geese." 

"Geese!"  sez  I,  "what  would  they  want  with 
geese  squawkin'  round  here?" 

"Why,"  sez  he,  "you  know  they  would  look 
handsome  swimmin'  round  in  the  water  in  front 
of  the  hotel.  And  he  might  gin  out,  if  he  wuz 
a  mind  to,  that  they  wuz  a  new  kind  of  swans; 
they  do  such  things  at  Coney  Island." 

Sez  I,  "Are  you  a  deacon  or  are  you  not? 
Are  you  a  pillow  in  the  meetin'  house  or  hain't 
you  a  pillow?" 

"I  didn't  say  he  had  got  to  do  thus  and  so, 
I  said  he  might  if  he  wanted  to." 

Sez  I,  "You  keep  your  geese  and  pray  to  not 
be  led  into  temptation."     And  then  the  truth 


92        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

come  out,  he  hated  the  geese  and  wanted  to 
git  rid  of  'em.  Men  always  hate  to  keep  geese, 
it  is  one  of  their  ways,  though  they  love  soft 
pillows  and  cushions  as  well  as  wimmen  do,  or 
better,  it  is  one  of  their  curious  ways  to  love 
the  effects  of  geese  dearly  and  hate  the  cause 
and  demean  it. 

Well,  by  givin'  up  the  best  part  of  the  fore- 
noon to  the  job  I  ground  him  down  onto  not 
tryin'  to  dicker  with  any  barter,  but  to  walk 
up  like  a  man  and  pay  for  our  two  boards. 
Faith  is  real  well  off  and  kinder  independent 
sperited,  and  I  knew  she  wouldn't  let  us  pay 
for  hern,  and  at  last  we  got  a  good  comfortable 
room  for  ourselves  and  one  for  Faith,  not  fur 
from  ourn.  Both  on  'em  looked  out  onto  the 
beautiful  river,  and  I  had  lots  of  emotions  as 
I  looked  out  on  it,  although  they  didn't  rise 
up  so  fur  as  they  would,  if  I  hadn't  had  such  a 
tussel  with  my  pardner,  so  true  it  is  that  chains 
of  cumberin'  cares  and  Josiahs  drag  down  the 
aspirin'  soul-wings  for  the  time  bein'.  But  I 
laid  out  to  take  sights  of  comfort  in  more  tran- 
quil and  less  dickerin'  times,  in  lookin'  out  on 
the  beauty  and  glory  of  the  waters,  and  fur  off, 
into  the  beautiful  distance  lit  with  the  mornin's 
rosy  light,  and  "sunset  and  evenin'  star." 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      93 

We  sot  off  on  the  afternoon  boat  for  Clayton. 
Faith  seemed  real  glad  to  see  us  and  we  visey 
versey.  And  it  wuz  a  joy  to  me  to  see  her 
admiration  of  the  Islands  as  we  swep'  by  'em 
and  round  'em  on  our  way  to  the  Park. 

We  got  back  in  time  to  git  ready  for  supper 
in  pretty  good  sperits;  the  dinin'  room  wuz 
large  and  clean  and  pleasant,  the  waiters  doin' 
all  they  could  for  us,  and  we  had  a  good  supper 
and  enough  on't.  And  speakin'  of  the  waiters, 
most  of  'em  wuz  nice  boys  and  girls,  tryin'  to 
git  an  education;  some  on  'em  had  been  to 
college  and  wanted  to  earn  a  little  more  money 
to  finish  their  education,  and  some  wuz  learnin' 
music  and  wanted  more  money  to  go  on  with 
their  lessons  —  good  plan,  I  think  —  they  will 
be  as  likely  agin  to  succeed  as  if  they  wuz  sot 
down  and  waited  on.  It  is  a  good  thing,  as  the 
Bible  sez,  "to  bear  the  yoke  in  your  youth," 
and  though  I  spoze  the  yoke  weighed  down  con- 
siderable heavy  on  'em,  specially  on  excursion 
days,  and  when  there  wuz  folks  hard  to  please, 
yet  I  thought  they  will  come  out  all  right  in 
the  end. 

Some  on  'em  wuz  studyin'  for  the  ministry, 
and  I  thought  they  would  git  a  real  lot  of  pa- 
tience and  other  Christian  virtues  laid  up  agin 


94        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

the  time  of  need.  Though  here,  as  in  every 
other  walk  of  life,  there  wuz  some  that  wuz 
careless  and  slack. 

But  to  resoom  forwards.  I  see  at  the  table 
there  wuz  the  usual  summer  tourists  round 
me,  care-worn  fathers  and  weary  dyspeptic 
mothers  with  two  or  three  flighty,  over-dressed 
daughters,  and  a  bashful,  pale  son  or  two,  and 
anon  a  lady  with  a  waist  drawed  in  to  that 
extent  that  you  wondered  where  her  vital 
organs  wuz.  And  how  could  any  live  creeter 
brook  the  agony  them  long  steel  cossets  wuz 
dealin'  the  wearer?  You  could  see  this  agony 
in  the  dull  eyes,  pale  face  and  wan  holler  cheeks 
wearin'  the  hectic  flush  of  red  paint.  And  the 
little  pinted  shues,  with  heels  sot  in  the  very 
center  of  the  nerves,  ready  to  bring  on  pros- 
tration, and  blindness. 

Right  by  that  agonized  female  would  be  a 
real  lady.  English,  mebby,  with  a  waist  the  size 
the  Lord  give  and  Fashion  had  not  taken  away. 
With  good,  sensible  shues  on,  dealin'  out  com- 
fort to  the  amiable  feelin'  feet;  rosy  cheeks, 
bright  eyes,  all  bearin'  witness  to  the  joys  of 
sensible  dressin'  and  sensible  livin'. 

And  then  there  wuz  bright  pert-lookin'  young 
wimmen,   travelin'  alone  in   pairs,   and  havin' 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      95 

a  good  time  to  all  human  appearance.  Anon 
good-lookin',  manly  men,  with  sweet  pretty 
wives  and  a  roguish,  rosy  little  child  or  so. 
Sad  lookin'  widder  wimmen,  some  in  their 
weeds,  but  evidently  lookin'  through  'em.  Anon 
a  few  single  men  with  good-lookin'  tanned 
faces,  enjoyin'  themselves  round  a  table  of 
their  own,  and  talkin'  and  laughin'  more'n 
considerable.  Respectable,  middle-aged  couples, 
takin'  their  comfort  with  kinder  pensive  faces, 
and  once  in  awhile  a  young  girl  as  adorably 
sweet  and  pretty  as  only  American  girls  can  be 
at  their  best. 

But  on  my  nigh  side,  only  a  little  ways  acrost 
from  us  sot  the  ponderous  man  I  remembered 
on  my  journey  thither  who  wanted  to  be  a  fly. 
Furder  and  furder  it  seemed  from  amongst  the 
possibles  as  he  towered  up  sideways  and  seemed 
to  dwarf  all  the  men  round  him,  though  they 
wuz  sizeable.  And  gittin'  a  better  look  at  him, 
I  could  see  that  he  had  a  broad  red  face,  gray 
side  whiskers  and  one  eye.  That  one  eye 
seemed  to  be  bright  blue,  and  he  seemed  to  keep 
it  on  our  table  from  the  time  we  come  in  as 
long  as  we  sat  there. 

That  evenin'  in  the  parlor  he  got  introduced 
to  us.     Mr.  Pomper,  his  name  wuz,  and  we  all 


96        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

used  him  well,  though  I  didn't  like  "  the  cut  of 
his  jib,"  to  use  a  nautical  term  which  I  consider 
appropriate  at  a  watering-place. 

But  go  where  we  would,  that  ponderous 
figger  seemed  to  be  near.  At  the  table  he  sot, 
where  that  one  eye  shone  on  us  as  constant  as 
the  sun  to  the  green  earth.  In  our  walks  he 
would  always  set  on  the  balcony  to  watch  us 
go  and  welcome  us  back.  And  in  the  parlor 
we  had  to  set  under  the  rakin'  fire  of  that  blue 
luminary.  And  if  we  went  on  the  boats  he 
wuz  there,  and  if  we  stayed  to  home  there 
wuz  he. 

And  at  last  a  dretful  conviction  rousted  up 
in  me.  It  come  the  day  we  went  the  trip  round 
the  Islands.  We  enjoyed  ourselves  real  well, 
until  I  discerned  that  huge  figger  settin'  in  a 
corner  with  that  one  eye  watchin'  our  party  as 
clost  as  a  cat  would  watch  a  mouse.  Can  it  be, 
sez  I  to  myself,  that  that  man  has  formed  a 
attachment  for  me  ? 

No,  no,  it  cannot  be,  sez  I  to  myself.  And 
yet  I  knowed  such  things  did  occur  in  fashion- 
able circles.  Men  with  Mormon  hearts  hidden 
under  Gentile  exteriors  wuz  abroad  in  the  land, 
and  such  things  as  I  mistrusted  blackened  and 
mormonized    the   bosom  of  Mr.    Pomper,   did 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      97 

happen  anon  and  oftener.  And  I  methought 
if  so,  what  must  I  do  ?  Must  I  tell  my  beloved 
companion?  Or  must  I,  as  the  poet  sez,  "Let 
concealment,  like  a  worm  in  the  rug,  feed  on 
my  damaged  cheek?'' 

But  thoughts  of  the  quick,  ardent  temper 
of  my  beloved  companion  bade  me  relinquish 
the  thought  of  confidin'  in  him.  No,  I  dassent, 
for  I  knew  that  his  weight  wuz  but  small  by  the 
steelyards,  and  Mr.  Pomper's  size  wuz  elephan- 
tine, with  probably  muscles  accordin'.  No,  I 
felt  I  must  rely  on  myself.  But  the  feelin's  I 
felt  nobody  can  tell.  Thinks  I,  "It  has  come 
onto  me  jest  what  I  have  always  read  and 
scorfed  at";  for  I  had  always  thought  and  said 
that  no  self-respectin'  female  need  be  inviggled 
unless  she  had  encouraged  the  inviggler,  or  had 
a  hand  in  the  invigglin'.  But  alas!  with  no 
fault  of  my  own,  onless  it  wuz  my  oncommon 
good  looks,  —  and  of  course  them  I  couldn't 
help,  —  here  I  wuz  the  heroine  of  a  one-eyed 
tragedy,  for  I  felt  that  the  smoulderin'  fire 
burnin'  in  that  solitary  orb  might  bust  forth  at 
any  time  and  engulf  me  and  my  pardner  in  a 
common  doom. 

But  two  things  I  felt  I  could  do;  I  could  put 
on  a  real  lot  of  dignity,  and  could  keep  a  eagle 


98        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

watch  onto  my  beloved  pardner,  and  if  I  see 
any  sign  of  Mr.  Pompers  attacktin'  him,  or 
throwin'  him  overboard,  I  felt  the  strength  of 
three  wimmen  would  be  gin  to  me,  and  I  could 
save  him  or  perish  myself  in  the  attempt.  In 
accordance  with  them  plans,  when  Mr.  Pomper 
approached  us  bringin'  us  some  easier  chairs, 
I  confronted  him  with  a  look  that  must  have 
appauled  his  guilty  mind,  and  when  he  sez  to 
me: 

"It  is  a  pleasant  day,  mom," 

I  looked  several  daggers  at  him  and  some 
simiters,  and  never  said  a  word.  And  when  a 
short  time  afterwards  he  asked  me  what  time 
of  day  it  wuz,  pretendin'  his  watch  had  stopped, 
I  looked  full  and  cold  in  his  face  for  several 
minutes  before  I  sez  in  icy  axents,  "I  don't 
know!"  Every  word  fallin'  from  my  lips  like 
ice-suckles  from  a  ruff  in  a  January  thaw,  and 
then  I  turned  my  back  and  went  away  from  him. 

Vain  attempt!  What  wicked  arts  men  do 
possess!  He  pretended  to  believe  I  wuz  deef, 
and  with  that  pretext  he  dasted  to  approach 
still  nearer  to  me  and  kinder  hollered  out: 

"What  time  of  day  is  it?" 

I  see  I  must  answer  him,  or  make  a  still  more 
sentimental   and    romantick   seen,    and    I    sez, 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      99 


"'  What  does  ail  you,  Samantha,  lockin'  arms  with  me  all 
the  time  —  it  will  make  talk!'  he  whispered  in  a 
mad,  impatient  whisper,  but  I  would  hang  on  as  long 
as  Mr.  Pomper  wuz  around."  (See  page  100) 


ioo      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

with  extreme  frigidity  and  icy  chill,  "I  don't 
know  anything  about  it." 

And  then  I  turned  on  my  heel  and  walked 
off.  In  such  noble  and  prompt  ways  did  I 
discourage  all  his  overtoors,  and  every  time  I 
see  him  approach  my  pardner,  if  they  wuz 
anywhere  near  the  outer  taff-rail  of  the  boat, 
I  would  approach  and  lock  arms  with  Josiah 
Allen,  killin'  two  birds  with  one  stun,  for  that 
act  both  ensured  safety  to  my  heart's  idol, 
and  also  struck  a  blow  onto  Mr.  Pomperses 
nefarious  designs.  He  see  plain  that  I  idolized 
my  pardner.  Once  or  twice,  so  hardly  is 
oncommon  virtue  rewarded  in  this  world,  Josiah 
spoke  out  snappishly: 

"What  duz  ail  you  to-day,  Samantha,  lockin' 
arms  with  me  all  the  time  —  it  will  make  talk!" 
he  whispered  in  a  mad,  impatient  whisper,  and 
he  would  kinder  wiggle  his  arm  to  make  me 
leggo' ;  but  secure  in  my  own  cast-iron  prin- 
ciples, I  would  hang  on  as  long  as  Mr.  Pomper 
wuz  round. 


CHAPTER    SEVEN 

In  which  jfosiah  proposes  to 
dance  and  Mr.  Pomper  makes 
an  advance 


CHAPTER    SEVEN 

IN  WHICH  JOSIAH  PROPOSES  TO  DANCE  AND 
MR.  POMPER  MAKES  AN  ADVANCE 

THE  day  wuz  a  tegus  one  to  me,  borne 
down  as  I  wuz  by  the  constrainin' 
atmosphere  of  a  onwelcome  and  on- 
lawful  attachment.  And  it  took  all  the  prin- 
ciple I  had  by  me  to  git  up  even  a  emotion  of 
pity  for  the  one-eyed  watcher,  whose  only 
recreation  seemin'ly  durin'  that  long,  long  day 
wuz  to  watch  our  party  as  clost  as  any  cat  ever 
watched  a  rat  hole,  and  to  kinder  hang  round 
us.  Faith  kep'  pretty  clost  to  me  all  day  and 
seemed  to  take  a  good  deal  of  comfort  watchin' 
the  entrancin'  scenery  round  us. 

Oh  what  beautiful  sights!  What  enchantin' 
views  of  the  water;  or,  if  the  light  struck  it  jest 
right,  the  long,  blue,  undilating  plain,  dotted 
with  gold  points  of  light.  Islands  with  the  vir- 
gin forest  stretchin'  down  to  the  edge  of  the 
water,  and  cool  green  shadders  layin'  on  the 
velvet  and  mossy  sward  as  you  could  see  as 

103 


104      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

you  looked  into  the  green  aisles.  And  all  sorts 
of  trees  with  different  foliage,  some  loose  and 
feathery,  some  with  shinin'  leaves,  glitterin' 
where  the  rain  had  washed  'em  the  night  before; 
some  towerin'  up  towards  the  heavens,  shakin' 
their  heads  at  the  sun;  some  droopin'  down  as 
if  weighted  with  their  wealth  of  branches  and 
green  leaves;  anon  a  tree  covered  with  flowers, 
and  then  some  evergreens,  and  anon  one  that 
had  ketched  in  its  brilliant  leaves  the  red  hectic 
of  autumn  fever  and  blazed  out  in  crimson  and 
yeller.  And  then  a  hull  lot  of  evergreens 
standin'  up  straight  and  tall  by  the  water's 
edge,  and  as  fur  back  as  you  could  see,  but  sort 
o'  reachin'  out  their  green  arms  towards  the 
river.  And  them  on  the  edge,  lookin'  down  into 
the  clear  depths  and  seem'  there  another  island, 
a  shadow  island  layin'  beautiful  and  serene 
with  nothin'  disturbin'  its  beauty  but  the 
shinin'  ripples  wavin'  the  fairy  branches  below, 
like  the  soft  wind  rustlin'  the  tree  tops  overhead. 
So  we  sailed  on  by  hamlet  and  town,  rounded 
tree-crowned  promontores,  swep'  out  into 
broader  vistas  stretchin'  out  like  a  lake,  anon 
goin'  by  a  big  island  lookin'  like  the  shore  of 
the  mainland,  goin'  right  up  aginst  it  seemin'ly, 
as  if  the  boat  must  strike  it  and  git  onto  wheels 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     105 

and  travel  as  a  wagon  if  it  calculated  to  pro- 
ceed onwards  at  all.  But  jest  as  we  would 
think  in  a  nautical  way:  "Land  ahoy!  land 
ahoy!  oh,  heave  out  and  walk  afoot/'  jest 
as  these  nautical  terms  would  be  passin'  through 
our  alarmed  foretops,  the  boat  would  turn  its 
prow  slowly  but  graceful,  round  to  a  port-the- 
helm,  or  starboard  ditto,  and  we  would  glide 
out  through  a  narrow  way  onbeknown  to  us, 
onto  a  long,  glassy  road  layin'  fair  and  serene 
ahead. 

Then  more  islands,  then  more  narrer  channels, 
then  more  broad  ones.  By  Fiddler's  Elbow, 
named  Heaven  knows  for  what  purpose,  for 
no  fiddle  nor  no  elbow  wuz  in  sight,  nothin' 
but  island  and  water  and  rock  all  crowned  with 
green  verdure.  Mebby  it  dates  back  to  the 
time  we  read  of  when  the  stars  sung  together, 
and  if  stars  sing,  why  shouldn't  islands  dance, 
and  if  islands  dance  it  stands  to  reason  they 
must  have  a  fiddle  and  one  on  'em  must  fiddle. 
I  do  not  say  this  is  so,  but  throw  out  this  scien- 
tific theory  as  one  of  singular  interest  to  the 
antiquarian  and  historian  of  the  Thousand 
Islands. 

Anon  we  entered  the  Lost  Channel,  agin  the 
antiquarian  sperit  is  rousted  up  as  we  inquire, 


106      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

"When  wuz  it  lost?  and  how  long?  And  when 
wuz  it  found  agin,  and  who  found  it?"  Way 
back  in  the  dawn  of  creation,  did  the  dimplin' 
channel  git  kinder  restive  and  try  to  run  off  by 
itself,  and  flow  round  and  act?  Or  did  the 
big  leap  down  Niagara  skair  it  so  that  it  run 
away  and  never  stopped  runnin'  until  it  got  all 
confused  and  light-headed  among  these  count- 
less islands,  and  wandered  away  and  got  lost 
and  by  the  side  of  itself? 

Deep  antiquarian  conundrums;  stern  geo- 
logical interests!  In  grapplin'  with  'em  I  leaned 
over  the  taff-rail  of  the  boat  and  looked  way 
down  into  the  blue  green  depths,  seekin'  a 
answer.  But  the  shinin'  waves  on  top  seemed 
to  glitter  mockin'ly  and  fur  down,  down  in  the 
green  waves,  there  seemed  to  look  back  a  sort 
of  a  pityin'  gleam  that  said  to  me: 

"Poor  creeter!  pass  on  with  your  little  vague 
theories  and  conjectures;  you  don't  know  any 
more  about  me  than  the  rest  on  'em  do,  who 
have  tried  to  write  about  me."  I  felt  kinder 
took  back  and  queer.  So  vain  are  we  that  we 
don't  like  to  have  our  carefully  constructed 
theories  overthrown.  But  even  as  I  mused,  a 
voice  said  to  the  right  of  me  —  a  woman  talkin' 
to  her  little  boy : 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     107 

"The  Lost  Channel  was  named  from  the  fact 
that  durin'  a  war  a  large  body  of  troops  got  lost 
here  in  the  channel  in  the  late  autumn  and  could 
not  find  their  way  out,  and  was  overtaken  by 
the  bitter  cold  and  perished  here." 

Well,  mebby  it  is  so,  I  d'no.  But  I  wuzn't 
knowin'  to  it  myself,  nor  Josiah  wuzn't.  Well, 
onheedin'  our  facts  or  fancies,  the  river  bore  us 
onwards  on  its  breast.  Past  high  green  boulders 
risin'  up  from  the  water  with  nothin'  on  'em, 
not  even  a  tree:  jest  gray  rock  lookin'  some  like 
a  geni's  castle  frownin'  down  onto  the  intruders 
into  their  realm.  Then  anon  a  pile  of  high  gray 
rocks  crowned  as  the  Sammist  sez  "with  livin' 
green."  Then  in  a  minute  more  a  little  land- 
locked bay  with  placid  water  sweepin'  back  into 
a  pretty  harbor,  tree  shaded,  and  mebby  a  boat 
anchored  there  like  a  soul  at  rest,  or  mebby  a 
sail-boat  with  two  young  hearts  in  it  driftin' 
down  the  sea  of  their  content,  as  the  tiny  waves 
rippled  round  their  oars.  Then  a  grand  big 
mansion  lookin'  down  onto  us  kinder  super- 
ciliously. Then  a  small,  pretty  farm  house  with 
snug  outbuildings,  a  man  lookin'  at  us  from  the 
open  barn  door,  and  some  children  playin' 
round  the  doorstep.  Then  a  big  island  with 
grassy  shores  or  wooded  depths;    then  a  tiny 


108      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

island,  not  too  big  for  a  child's  playhouse,  and 
some  that  wuz  only  a  bit  of  rock  peekin'  out  of 
the  water. 

And  fur  off  all  the  time  when  we  could  see  it 
wuz  the  blue  hazy  distance  full  of  beauty;  ever- 
changin'  glimpses  of  loveliness,  givin'  place  to 
new  beauties.  Fur  off,  fur  off  sometimes  we 
could  see  distant  pinnacles  and  towers,  all  bathed 
in  the  blue  shinin'  mist.  And  as  the  rapt  eyes 
of  our  Fancy  gazed  on  'em,  they  might  have  been 
the  towers  of  the  New  Jerusalem,  the  Golden  city, 
so  dreamlike,  so  inexpressibly  lovely  did  they 
seem  faintly  photographed  aginst  the  soft  blue 
distant  heavens. 

But  cold  Reality  said  in  her  chillin'  practical 
whisper,  "It's  no  thin'  but  Gananoque  or  Clay- 
ton," and  she  went  on,  "They  hain't  anything 
like  the  New  Jerusalem,  either  of  them." 

Alas  for  us  poor  mortals!  who  drive  or  are 
driv  by  the  two  contendin'  coharts  of  Imagina- 
tion, Idealized  Fancy  and  practical  Reality. 
And  she  always  will  have  the  last  word,  Reality 
will,  and  her  voice  is  loud  and  shrill,  and  it 
penetrates  into  the  warm,  sweet  Indian  summer 
air,  where  Fancy  dwells  and  where  we  some- 
times visit  her  for  brief  intervals.  Too  brief! 
too  brief!  for  cold   Reality  is  always  hangin' 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     109 

round;  she  is  always  up  and  dressed  ready  to 
put  in  her  note. 

I  mentioned  the  metafor  to  Josiah  and  he  sez, 
"Yes,  it  minds  me  of  the  man  who  was  brought 
up  before  the  judge  by  his  wife.  She  complained 
he  hadn't  spoke  to  her  for  five  years.  The  judge 
ast  him  if  that  were  so,  and  he  said,  'Yes,  that's 
so.'  'But  why,'  sez  the  judge,  'why  hain't 
you  spoke  to  your  wife  for  five  years  ? '  And  the 
man  sez,  'Because  I  didn't  want  to  interrupt 
her.'  Josiah  declares  it  is  true,  but  I  believe 
it  is  jest  a  slur  on  wimmen. 

But  to  resoom.  Swiftly,  silently  we  sped  on 
with  the  islands  about  us,  the  blue  sky  over- 
head and  the  shadow  islands  below.  And 
innumerable  boats  appeared  far  and  near,  some 
with  white  sails  lifted,  and  followed  below  by 
a  white  shadow  sail,  and  anon  a  big  steamer 
would  glide  along,  loaded  down  to  its  gunwale 
with  crowds  of  gay  pleasure  seekers,  who  would 
wave  their  snowy  handkerchiefs  and  salute  us, 
the  steamer  backin'  'em  with  its  deep  grum 
voice.  Or  anon  we  could  see  a  big  dark  barge 
sailin'  along,  and  Fancy  would  whisper  to  us  as 
we  gazed  on  its  mysterious  dark  sides  without 
a  soul  in  sight: 

"It  may  be  the  phantom  of  some  old  Pirate 


no      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

ship,  condemned  for  its  sins  to  cruise  along 
forever  in  strange  waters,  homesick  for  its 
native  seas."  But  Reality  spoke  right  up 
jest  as  she  always  will  and  said  it  wuz  prob- 
able some  big  lake  steamer  heavy  loaded 
with  grain  or  some  great  Canadian  boat.  And 
then  a  new  seen  of  beauty  would  drift  into 
our  vision  and  take  our  minds  off  and  carry 
'em  away  some  distance.  Oh,  it  is  no  won- 
der that  Faith's  soft  eyes  grew  more  tender  and 
luminous. 

Josiah  felt  the  beauty  of  the  seen,  he  felt 
it  deeply,  but  everybody  knows  that  beauty 
affects  folks  differently,  it  always  seems  to 
sharpen  up  my  dear  companion's  appetite,  and 
three  cookies  in  as  many  minutes  wuz  offered 
up  on  the  shrine  of  his  vivid  appreciation,  and 
two  nut  cakes. 

We  got  back  to  our  hotel,  the  sun  about  an 
hour  high.  Jest  before  our  bark  swep'  into  the 
haven,  and  while  Josiah  and  Faith  had  crossed 
over  to  the  opposite  side  of  our  bark,  I  hearn  a 
voice  on  the  off  quarter  windward,  and  I  turned 
round  and  see  to  my  dismay  that  it  wuz  Mr. 
Pomper.  He  sez  to  me  in  a  low  voice,  while 
his  looks  spoke  volumes  of  yellow  colored 
literatoor:    "I  wish  to  speak  a  few  words  to 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     in 

you    alone,    mum.     Can     you    give    me     the 
opportunity?" 

I  looked  him  full  in  that  eye  of  hisen,  a  hauty 
cold  look,  a  look  as  much  as  40  degrees  below 
freezo,  and  said  nothin'  else  but  jest  that  look. 

"I  have  somethin'  very  important  to  say  to 
you.     Can  you  hear  me?" 

Words  wuz  risin'  to  my  tongue  that  would 
wither  him  forever,  and  end  the  vile  persecu- 
tions I  wuz  undergoing  when  before  I  could 
speak  the  gang  plank  wuz  charged  back  agin 
Mr.  Pomper's  foot  in  a  way  that  made  him 
leap  back  like  a  sportive  elephant,  and  for  the 
moment  I  wuz  free.  But  as  I  wended  my  pen- 
sive way  up  to  the  hotel,  I  made  up  my  mind 
that  if  he  ever  approached  me  agin  I  would 
plainly  tell  him  what  wuz  what,  and  so  end  my 
purturbations  of  mind;  for  I  felt  if  it  wuz  to 
go  on  much  longer  I  should  lose  a  pound  of 
flesh,  and  mebby  a  pound  and  a  half,  in  the 
stiddy  wearin'  persecution  I  wuz  undergoin'. 
And  that  night  at  dinner  as  I  ketched  the  light 
smoulderin'  in  that  lonely  orb,  as  it  wuz  bent 
on  our  table,  and  the  corner  in  parlor  and 
piazza  where  we  wuz  ensconced,  I  wondered 
anew  what  wuz  the  attractions  that  kep'  Mr. 
Pomper  so  stiddy  at  my  shrine.     And  I  got  so 


ii2      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

that  I  almost  hated  the  good  looks  that  wuz 
ondoin'  him  and  me  too.  And  I  looked  into  the 
glass  dreamily  as  I  wadded  up  my  back  hair 
and  did  up  the  front,  and  pinned  my  cameo  pin 
onto  my  rich  cotton  and  wool  parmetty,  and 
wondered  if  it  wuzn't  my  duty  to  leave  off  that 
pin,  and  change  that  parmetty  for  calico,  and 
sort  o'  frowzle  up  my  hair  onbecomingly  in 
order  to  wean  him  from  me.  But  alas!  my 
principles  did  not  seem  able  to  git  up  onto  that 
hite,  so  weak  are  we  poor  mortals  after  all  our 
aspirin'  efforts. 

One  curious  thing  I  have  ever  noticed  among 
men  (and  wimmen  too)  and  that  is  the  ease  and 
facility  with  which  they  will  slip  out  of  state- 
ments and  idees  they  have  promulgated,  and 
turn  around  in  their  tracts  as  easy  and  graceful 
as  a  dummy  before  a  show  case.  Now  there 
wuz  a  party  to  be  gin  to  the  hotel  for  a  chari- 
table purpose,  each  man  and  woman  present 
givin'  25  cents,  and  then  havm'  a  social  time 
afterwards,  and  as  the  object  wuz  good  I  sez 
to  my  pardner,  "I  would  like  to  attend  to  it." 
And  he  acted  fairly  skairt  and  horrow  struck 
at  the  idee  and  went  on  eloquent  about  old  folks 
at  our  ages,  and  with  our  professions,  and  our 
rumatiz,  follerin'  up  gayety  and  show.     Sez  he, 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     113 

"The  place  for  us  evenin's  is  in  our  own  room 
readin'  our  Bibles  and  Tracks. " 

And  I  sez  as  I  calmly  wadded  up  my  back 
hair  and  smoothed  my  foretop,  "Well,  I  spoze 
I  can  go  alone  if  you  feel  so." 

Then  another  thought  seemed  to  roust  him 
up;  Jealousy  seemed  to  strike  her  sharp  prongs 
into  his  slender  side,  and  he  sez  bitterly,  "Yes, 
goin'  down  alone  into  a  perfect  mawlstrom  of 
men  flirtin'  and  actin'!" 

"The  mawlstrom  won't  hurt  me,"  sez  I,  "I 
hain't  goin'  nigh  it."  But  even  as  I  spoke  I 
thought  of  Air.  Pomper,  and  sez  to  myself,  Can 
I  help  him  from  comin'  nigh  me?  And  as  if  in 
answer  to  my  onspoken  thoughts  my  pardner 
sez: 

"Mawlstroms  will  draw  anybody  in  onbe- 
known  to  them;  they're  deadly  dangerous!" 
And  I  see  him  gin  a  kin'  of  a  shiver.  I  wuz 
touched  to  the  heart  by  the  thought  of  his  devo- 
tion, and  as  I  fastened  my  cameo  pin  more 
firmly  into  the  rich  folds  of  parmetty  at  my 
neck,  I  sez: 

"Dear  Josiah,  I  don't  know  but  you're  right. 
I  feel  as  though  I  want  you  near  me  to  protect 
me."  That  melted  his  heart,  but  alas,  did  not 
affect  his  pocket  book,  and  he  sez,  "I  would  go 


ii4      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

down  with  you  in  a  minute,  Samantha,  but  jest 
consider  on  the  50  cents  we  would  spend  there, 
how  much  comfort  that  would  bring  to  some 
lonely  widder,  mebby  a  blind  woman,  who  is 
a-hunger  and  ye  fed  her  not." 

I  looked  stiddy  at  him  and  sez  I,  "Josiah 
Allen,  will  that  poor  widder  git  that  fifty 
cents?" 

He  answered  evasive,  and  I  went  on,  "It  is 
easy  to  make  the  excuse  that  the  money  you 
are  asked  for  in  charity  will  do  so  much  more 
good  somewhere  else,  but,"  sez  I  sternly,  "the 
money  don't  git  there,  and  you  know  it."  He 
still  kep'  his  hand  in  his  pocket  round  that 
pocket  book  I  believe,  whilst  he  took  a  new 
tact:  "The  air,  Samantha,  in  that  room  will  be 
stiflin',  and  if  I  should  take  you  into  that  place 
and  you  should  stifle,  I  should  die  away  myself, 
I  couldn't  live  a  minute  without  you,  dear 
Samantha,"  sez  he. 

Well,  my  tizik  wuz  pretty  bad  in  crowded 
places  and  suffice  it  to  say,  that  though  his 
arguments  didn't  convince  me,  they  sort  o' 
overpowered  me  for  the  time  bein',  and  we 
stayed  in  our  own  room. 

Now  to  show  the  facility  with  which  folks 
will  turn  right  round  and  revolve,  I  will  tell 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     115 

how  Josiah  seemin'ly  forgot  mawlstroms,  bad 
air,  rumatiz,  ages,  meetin'  housen,  principles, 
etc.,  and  turned  right  round  on  the  pivot  of  his 
inclination.  A  day  or  two  after  he  heard  down 
in  the  office  about  the  dancin'  parties  they  had 
in  the  parlor  anon  or  oftener,  and  he  come 
up  into  our  room  enthused  with  the  idee  and 
wanted  to  branch  out  and  go  that  night,  and 
I  sez: 

"What  about  mawlstroms  and  gayety,  Josiah 
Allen?" 

"Oh,"  he  sez,  "I  shall  be  there  to  protect 
you,  Samantha,  no  mawlstrom  can  draw  you  in 
and  destroy  you,  whilst  I  have  a  drop  of  blood 
left  in  my  veins!  I'll  protect  you  here,  and  I'd 
protect  you  at  Coney  Island,"  sez  he  —  (that 
idee  never  left  his  mind  I  believe). 

"What  about  the  bad  air?"  sez  I. 

"Oh  the  winder  will  probable  be  open,  and 
you  can  take  your  turkey  feather  fan  with  you." 
And  then  I  dropped  my  half  jocular  tone  and 
sez  in  deadly  earnest: 

"Be  I  leanin'  on  a  Methodist  pillow  or  be  I 
not  ?    Have  I  a  deacon  by  my  side  or  haven't  I  ? " 

But  Josiah  seemed  calm  and  even  gay  sperited 
under  my  two  reproachful  orbs  that  poured 
their  search  lights  into  his  very  soul,  and  he  sez: 


u6      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

"From  all  I  hear  it  hain't  a  wicked  dance 
at  all,  but  jest  a  pretty  dancin'  party  down  in 
the  parlor,  jined  in  by  men  and  wimmen  and 
their  children  and  mebby  their  grand-children, 
and  it  is  always  so  sweet,"  sez  he,  "to  see  a  man 
and  his  grand-children  dancin'  together.  Oh,  if 
Delight  wuz  only  here!"  sez  he. 

I  riz  up  and  sez  in  almost  heart  breakin' 
axents: 

"Josiah  Allen,  be  you  a  thinkin'  of  dancin' 
yourself?" 

"No,"  sez  he,  "no,  Samantha,  I  jest  want  to 
look  on  a  spell,  that's  all." 

But  there  wuz  a  look  in  his  eyes  that  I  hated 
to  see,  for  I  had  seen  it  many  times  in  the  past, 
and  it  had  always  foreboded  trials  to  me  and 
humiliation  to  my  pardner.  How  queer  human 
critters  be!  what  strange  and  mysterious  tacts 
they  will  git  on  and  how  they  will  foller  up  them 
tacts  and  fads  of  theirn.  But  I  d'no  as  human 
critters  are  any  worse  about  follerin'  up  their 
tacts  and  fads  and  follerin'  'em  blind,  than  old 
Mom  Nater  is.  Now  who  hain't  noticed  her 
queer  moods  and  how  prolonged  they  be,  and 
how  sudden  and  onexpected  they  will  come 
onto  her?  When  she  takes  it  into  her  head  to 
have  a   pleasant   spell  of  weather,   how   she'll 


AXD  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    117 

foller  it  up,  clear  skies,  pleasant  days  and 
nights  for  weeks  and  weeks.  And  if  she  takes 
it  into  her  head  to  have  it  rain,  how  she  will 
keep  the  skies  drippin'  right  along  for  most 
all  summer.  And  then  when  she  has  a  dry 
spell,  how  dry  she  is!  no  matter  how  much  the 
dwindlin'  creeks  and  empty  wells  and  springs 
complain,  she  has  got  to  carry  out  her  own  idees 
till  she  gits  ready  to  change. 

Josiah  Allen,  since  I  had  been  his  pardner 
had  took  many  a  fad  into  his  old  head,  which 
he  had  carried  out  as  only  Nater  or  a  man  can 
carry  'em,  onreasonable,  mysterious,  out  of 
season,  but  bound  to  let  'em  run.  Sometimes 
in  the  past  it  had  been  a  desire  for  singin'  base 
that  had  laid  holt  on  him,  base  in  every  sense 
the  word  can  be  used.  Then  agin  he  had  pain- 
ful and  prolonged  spells  of  wantin'  to  be  genteel 
and  fashionable,  then  anon  political  ambition 
had  rousted  up  his  rusty  old  faculties  and  for 
months  and  months  Coney  Island  had  been  his 
theme,  and  wuz  now,  and  so  on  through  a  long 
roll  of  characters  he  had  desired  to  play  in  the 
drama  of  life. 

But  dancin!  never  did  I  expect  to  see  that 
man  with  his  age  and  his  profession  and  his 
achin'  old  bones,  wantin'  to  dance.     But  so  it 


u8      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

wuz,  as  will  be  seen  in  the  follerin'  pages. 
Queer  as  a  dog  folks  are  on  this  planet,  and  I 
d'no  but  the  Marites  and  Jupiters  and  Saturnses 
are  jest  as  queer.  But  to  quit  eppisodin'  and 
resoom  forwards  agin. 

I  have  always  found  that  it  hain't  best  to 
draw  the  matrimonial  rope  too  tight  round  your 
pardner's  jungular  veins.  I  see  he  wuz  sot  on 
goin'  and  I  felt  I  would  ruther  he  would  go  with 
me  who  could  have  some  savin'  control  over 
him,  than  to  have  him  git  reckless  and  sally  off 
alone.  So  it  wuz  settled  that  we  should  go 
that  night  at  early  candle  light.  And  Faith 
wuz  to  go  with  us.  Yes,  I,  Josiah  Allen's  wife, 
had  gin  my  consent  to  go  to  a  dance.  But  jest 
so  the  environin'  cord  of  circumstances  gits  us 
all  wound  up  in  its  tangles  time  and  agin. 
And  as  the  way  of  poor  weak  mortals  is,  havin' 
made  up  my  mind  to  go  I  tried  to  bring  to  mind 
all  the  mitigatin'  circumstances  I  could.  I 
thought  of  how  the  lambs  capered  on  the  hill- 
side, how  the  leaves  on  the  trees  danced  to  the 
music  of  the  south  wind,  and  how  even  the 
motes  swung  round  with  each  other  in  the  sun- 
light. And  then  I  thought  of  how  David 
danced  before  the  ark,  and  how  Jeptha's 
daughter  danced  out  to  meet  her  father  (to  be 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     119 

sure  she  had  her  head  took  off  for  it,  but  I  tried 
to  not  dwell  on  that  side  of  the  subject).  And 
then  I  remembered  how  I  did  love  music,  and 
in  spite  of  myself  I  felt  kinder  chirked  up  thinkin' 
I  should  enjoy  quite  a  long  spell  on't.  And 
thinkses  I,  if  dancin'  is  a  little  mite  off  from  the 
hite  Methodists  ort  to  stand  on,  music  is  the 
most  heavenly  thing  we  can  lay  holt  of  below, 
so  I  sort  o'  tried  to  even  up  them  two  peaks  in 
my  mind  and  lay  a  level  onto  'em  and  try 
to  make  myself  believe  they  struck  about  a 
fair  plane  of  megumness,  and  shet  my  eyes 
to  the  idee  that  it  slanted  off  some  and  wuz 
slippery. 

Oh  what  weak  creeters  we  be  anyhow!  Well, 
that  night  there  wuz  goin'  to  be  a  extra  big 
party,  and  I  wuz  for  startin'  at  once  after 
supper,  for  truly  I  felt  that  I  wuz  performm' 
a  hard  and  arjous  job,  and  as  my  way  is  I  wuz 
for  tacklin'  it  to  once  and  gittin'  over  it.  Yes, 
I  felt  it  wuz  goin'  to  be  a  wearin'  job  to  git 
Josiah  Allen  to  that  parlor  durin'  them  fes- 
tivities and  back  agin  with  no  damage  or 
scandal  arisin'  from  the  enterprise. 

But  Faith  sez,  "It  will  be  too  early,  they 
won't  begin  to  dance  till  eight.  We  eat  at 
six/      And  I  sez,  "For  the  land's  sake!   if  I'd 


120      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

got  to  dance  I  should  begin  early  and  stop  early, 
so's  to  git  a  little  rest."  And  she  sez: 
"Young  folks  don't  think  about  that." 
Well,  we  compromised  on  half  past  seven 
(most  bed-time).  And  when  Faith  knocked  at 
our  door  at  that  epoch  of  time  we  wuz  all  ready. 
Josiah  had  carefully  combed  his  few  locks 
of  gray  hair  upwards  over  his  bald  head,  had 
donned  a  sweet  smilin'  look,  and  a  cravat,  gayer 
fur  than  I  approved  of  (he'd  bought  it  durin' 
the  day  onbeknown  to  me).  And  I  had  arrayed 
my  noble  figger  in  my  usual  cotton  and  wool 
brown  dress,  brightened  up  at  the  neck  and 
sleeves  with  snowy  collar  and  cuffs,  and  further 
enriched  by  the  large  cameo  pin.  I  also  carried 
a  turkey  feather  fan  that  harmonized  in  color 
with  my  dress.  I  looked  exceedingly  well  and 
felt  well. 

And  Faith,  I  sez  proudly  to  myself,  a  sweeter 
face  and  prettier  dress  won't  be  seen  there 
to-night.  She  did  look  lovely.  Her  soft  eyes 
shone,  her  cheeks  looked  pinky,  her  hair,  a  sort 
of  a  golden  brown  with  some  gray  in  it,  crinkled 
back  from  her  white  forward  and  wuz  gathered 
in  a  loose  knot  on  the  top  of  her  head  with  a 
high  silver  comb.  Her  dress  wuz  thin  and  white 
and   gauzy,    and    though    it   wuz    considerable 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     121 

plain  it  wuz  made  beautiful  by  the  big  bunch 
of  pale  pink  roses  at  her  belt  and  bosom,  jest 
matchin'  her  cheeks  in  color. 

I  wuz  proud  of  her.  And  I  felt  quite  well 
about  my  other  companion,  for  as  I  glanced  at 
the  small  kerseymear  figger  and  pert  bald  head, 
I  sez  to  myself,  "He  makes  a  much  better  escort 
than  none  at  all." 


CHAPTER    EIGHT 

In  which  Mr.  Pomper  declares 
his  intenshuns  an*  gives  his 
views  on  matrimony 


CHAPTER    EIGHT 

IN  WHICH  MR.  POMPER  DECLARES  HIS  IN- 
TENSHUNS  AN'  GIVES  HIS  VIEWS  ON 
MATRIMONY 

AS  our  party  sort  o'  swep'  gracefully  down 
into  the  hall,  we  thought  we  would 
step  outdoors  for  a  minute  for  a  breath 
of  fresh  air.  It  looked  gay  and  almost  fairy- 
like out  there.  The  two  broad  piazzas  wuz 
all  lit  up  with  colored  lights  and  baskets  of 
posies  hung  down  between  'em  full  of  bloom, 
and  the  broad  piazzas  and  wide  flight  of  steps 
leadin'  up  to  'em  wuz  full  of  folks  in  bright 
array,  walkin'  and  talkin'  and  laughin'  makin' 
the  seen  more  fair  and  picture-like.  And  in 
front  wuz  the  long  grassy  lawn  with  its  gay 
flower  beds,  and  the  long  walk  down  to  the 
wharf  all  sparklin'  with  lights,  and  beyend,  in 
front  of  it  all,  lay  the  deep  river,  .with  its 
sighin'  voice  borne  in  on  the  stillness,  jest  as  in 
the  hearts  of  every  one  of  that  throng,  way  back 
beyend  the  gayety  and  sparklin'  mirth  lay  the 
deep  sea  of  their  own  inner  life,  with  its  melan- 

125 


126      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

choly  hantin'  memories,  its  sighin'  complainin' 
voices,  its  deeps  that  nobody  else  could  fathom. 

And  while  we  stood  there,  I  wrapped  in  reverie 
and  a  gray  zephyr  shawl,  a  broad  beam  of  light 
wuz  cast  from  somewhere  fur  off,  shinin'  full 
and  square  first  one  side  then  the  other  side  of 
the  river.  Nearer  and  nearer  it  seemed  to  be 
comhV  towards  us,  and  wherever  that  light  fell 
a  picture  wuz  brung  quick  as  a  flash  of  lightnin' 
out  of  the  darkness. 

It  seemed  some  like  the  day  of  Judgment 
shinin'  through  the  darkness  of  men's  lives  and 
bringin'  out  the  hidden  things.  Way  out  in  the 
distance  where  nothin'  could  be  seen  but  black- 
ness and  shadows,  the  beam  would  fall  and  a 
island  would  stand  out  plain  before  us,  houses 
with  men  and  wimmen  on  the  piazzas,  a  boat 
house,  a  boat  with  men  and  wimmen  and 
children  in  it.  You  could  see  for  one  dazzlin' 
minute  the  color  of  their  garments,  and  the 
motion  of  their  hands  and  arms,  then  the  sea 
of  darkness  would  engulf  'em  agin,  and  on  the 
nigh  side  out  of  the  darkness  would  shine  out  a 
vision  of  the  shore  with  trees  standin'  up  green 
and  stately,  and  you  could  see  the  color  of  leaf 
and  bough  and  almost  the  flutter  of  their  leaves. 
A  green  lawn,  rosy  flower  beds,  a  pretty  cottage, 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    127 

faces  at  the  windows,  agin  darkness  swallowed 
it  up,  and  broad  and  brilliant  the  great  shaft  of 
light  lay  on  the  blackness,  and  on  the  shinin' 
water  fur  ahead  a  boat  stood  out  vivid.  Its 
white  sail  shone,  the  young  man  at  the  helm 
with  uplifted  head  wuz  wavin'  a  greeting  the 
girl  in  the  other  end  of  the  boat  looked  like  a 
picture  in  her  broad  hat  and  white  wrap,  and 
beyend  'em  and  all  round  'em,  wuz  little  boats, 
and  fur  ahead  a  big  steamer. 

Anon  it  wuz  turned  sideways,  and  a  dark 
mysterious  craft  wuz  seen  sailin'  by  mysteri- 
ously, one  of  the  big  lake  vessels  goin'  I  know 
not  where.  Anon  a  dazzlin'  flash  swep'  right 
across  us,  bringin'  Faith  and  me  and  my  pardner 
out  into  almost  blindin'  relief,  his  bald  head 
shinin'  in  the  foreground,  his  cravat  gleamin' 
almost  blindin'ly,  and  with  music  and  bright 
light  shinin'  from  the  cabin  winders,  and  decks 
loaded  with  gay  passengers,  the  Search  Light 
Steamer  swep'  up  to  the  wharf. 
.  The  ball  had  not  yet  arrove  at  its  hite  when 
we  entered  the  festivious  hall,  so  we  readily 
found  seats  in  a  commogious  corner.  On  one 
side  on  me  wuz  my  pardner,  on  the  off  side  sot 
Faith  in  her  serene  beauty.  In  front  of  me 
and  on  each  side  the  gay  crowd  of  dancers. 


128      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

Pretty  young  girls  arrayed  in  every  color 
of  the  rain-bow.  Handsome  young  men,  ditto 
homely  ones,  little  children  as  pretty  as  posies 
with  their  white  dresses  and  white  silk  stocking 
and  slippers  dancin'  as  gayly  as  any  of  the  rest, 
all  on  'em  big  and  little,  graceful  and  awkward, 
swingin',  turnin',  glidin'  along,  swingin',  turning 
all  keepin'  time  to  the  sweet  swayin'  tones  of 
the  music,  music  that  seemed  sometimes  to  bear 
my  soul  off  some  distance  away  and  swing  it 
round  and  dance  with  it  a  spell,  and  then  whirl  it 
back  agin  to  the  Present  and  Josiah.  It  wuz 
a  queer  time,  but  very  riz  up  and  enjoyable 
in  spite  of  some  little  sharp  twinges  that 
come  anon  or  oftener,  which  might  have  been 
conscience,  but  which  I  tried  to  lay  off  onto 
rumatiz. 

Two  wimmen  wuz  talkin'  near  us,  sez  one  of 
'em,  "There  he  goes  agin,  see  him  prancin' 
round."  And  she  motioned  to  a  young  chap 
I'd  noticed  who  seemed  to  be  the  most  inde- 
fatigable dancer  in  the  hull  lot,  and  his  face 
wuz  determined  lookin',  as  if  his  hull  life  de- 
pended on  gallopin'  round  the  room,  and  as  if 
he  never  wuz  goin'  to  stop. 

"See  him,"  sez  the  woman,  "that  young 
man's    father    and    grand-father    would    have 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     129 

swooned  away  if  they'd  thought  that  any  of 
their  kin  would  dance." 

"Wuz  they  so  good?"  sez  the  other  woman. 

"No,"  wuz  the  reply,  "they  had  all  sorts 
of  narrowness,  sins  and  coniptions,  but  they 
thought  dancin'  wuz  the  wickedest  thing  ever 
done.  This  boy  wuz  brought  up  as  strict  as  a 
he  nun,  and  now  see  him  prancin'  round!" 

And  I  spoke  up  and  sez,  "I  hope  he  will  prance 
off  some  of  them  hereditary  sins,  if  he's  got  to 
prance."  They  looked  round  at  me  consider- 
able cool  and  I  said  no  more.  But  everybody 
wuzn't  so  clost  mouthed,  for  pretty  soon  a  old 
lady  come  and  sot  down  in  a  chair  by  the  side 
of  me  —  Faith  had  moved  a  little  back  —  and 
she  sez: 

"I  want  to  dance;   I  love  it  dearly." 

I  looked  up  at  her  in  amaze.  Her  cheeks 
wuz  fell  in.  Her  brow  wuz  yellered  and  fur- 
rowed with  years,  and  though  her  dress  wuz 
gay  she  couldn't  conceal  Time's  ravages. 

"Dance,"  sez  I  kinder  dreamily  and  brow 
beat,  "well,  why  don't  you  dancer" 

Sez  she,  "I  don't  know  any  of  the  gentlemen 
here." 

I  felt  a  movement  on  my  nigh  side  and  see 
that  Josiah  wuz  leanin'  forward  in  deep  interest, 


130      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

and  thinkses  I,  he  is  sorry  for  her  folly,  he  has 
a  noble  heart.  Well,  ere  long  she  riz  up  and 
went  out  into  the  hall,  and  I  mused  on  what  I 
had  so  often  mused  on  —  how  necessary  it  wuz 
for  everybody  to  keep  on  their  own  forts  — 
sixty  years  had  fled  since  dancin'  wuz  her 
becomin'  fort,  now  a  rockin'  chair  and  knittin' 
work  wuz  her  nateral  fort,  but  she  didn't 
realize  it. 

Well,  the  dancin'  kep'  on,  the  music  pealed 
out  sweet  peals,  heavenly  sweet,  heavenly  sad, 
and  I  wuz  carried  some  distance  away  from  my- 
self and  heeded  not  what  wuz  passin'  by  my 
side.  Anon  a  dance  come  on  that  wuz  called  a 
German.  In  some  of  the  figgers  they  seemed 
to  be  givin'  presents  to  each  other,  and  had 
these  presents  kinder  strung  onto  'em,  same  as 
savages  ornament  themselves  with  beads  and 
things,  though  these  wuz  quite  pretty  lookin' 
and  seemed  made  up  of  posies  and  ribbins  and 
pretty  little  trinkets.  And  then  the  lights  wuz 
lowered  and  I  see  a  long  line  of  figgers  come 
glidin'  in,  keepin5  step  to  the  music,  each  one 
bearin'  a  pretty  little  colored  lantern.  And  as 
I  looked  on  my  eyes  wuz  almost  stunted  and 
blinded  by  a  sight  I  see.  Who  wuz  the  couple 
bringin'  up  the  rear?    Wuz  it  —  it  could  not  be 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     131 

—  but  yet  it  wuz  my  pardner,  leadin'  in  the 
ancient  dame,  who  wuz  footin'  it  merrily  on 
her  old  toes,  or  as  merrily  as  she  could,  liable 
to  fall  down  every  step  with  rumatiz  and  old  age. 
And  what  did  my  pardner  bear  in  his  hand! 

That  very  day  in  goin'  about  the  place  he 
found  in  a  store  an  old  tin  lantern,  a  relic  of 
the  past  someone  had  left  there  to  be  sold. 
It  wuz  a  lantern  that  used  to  be  in  vogue  before 
Josiah  Allen  wuz  born,  a  anteek  tin  lantern  with 
holes  in  the  sides,  and  one  candle  power.  He 
had  bought  it  greedily,  savin'  it  wuz  jest  like 
one  his  grandpa  had  when  he  wuz  a  child. 

He  had  left  it  in  the  office,  and  had  lit  that 
lantern  and  wuz  now  hangin'  along  in  the  rear 
of  that  gay  procession,  with  that  mummy-like 
figger,  a  jest,  a  byword  and  a  sneer,  for  laughter 
riz  up  round  'em  and  sneers  follered  'em  as  they 
swep'  onwards.  As  they  come  nigh  me  I  riz  up 
almost  wildly  and  ketched  holt  of  my  pardner 
and  sez  I: 

"Desist!  Josiah  Allen,  stop  to  once!" 

The  aged  female  looked  at  me  in  surprise  and 
feeble  remonstrance,  and  sez  she: 

"Can  it  be  that  you're  jealous?" 

Even  in  that  awful  moment  my  powers  of 
deep  reasonin'  didn't  desert  me  and  I  said: 


132      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 


As  they  come  nigh  me  I  riz  up  almost  wildly  and  ketched 
holt  of  my  pardner  and  sez  I:  'Desist/  Josiah 
Allen,  stop  to  once!9  The  aged  female  looked  at  me 
in  surprise"  (See  page  131) 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    133 

"If  I  wuz  goin'  to  be  jealous  I  wouldn't  be 
of  a  animated  mummy,  or  livin'  skeleton  !" 
And  to  my  companion  I  sez,  "Josiah  Allen,  if 
you  don't  set  down  here  by  me,  I  will  part 
with  you  to  once  before  the  first  Square  or 
Justice  I  can  ketch!" 

He  see  determination  on  my  eye-brow,  and 
as  they  wuz  in  the  extreme  rear  of  the  line,  and 
it  didn't  break  up  nothin',  I  ketched  the  lan- 
tern out  of  his  hand  and  blowed  it  out,  and  put 
it  under  his  chair  as  he  sot  down  in  it.  And  then 
to  her  I  sez  with  a  almost  frozen  politeness: 

"I'd  advise  you,  mom,  to  soak  your  feet  and 
go  to-bed." 

She  vanished.  But  to  my  pardner  my  voice 
lost  that  icy  coldness  and  become  het  up 
with  indignation,  and  I  sez,  "What  tempted 
you,  Josiah  Allen,  to  make  a  perfect  fool  of 
yourself — a  show  for  hollow  worldlings  to 
sneer  at!" 

"Fool!"  sez  he  in  bitter  axents,  "you  call  me 
that  when  I  wuz  strictly  actin'  out  what  you've 
always  ordered  me  to  do.  You've  always  told 
me  to  be  good  to  females,  to  put  myself  out  and 
make  a  martyr  of  myself  if  necessary  for  their 
good.  But  it  is  the  last  time!"  sez  he  bitterly, 
"the  very  last  time  I  will  ever  have  anything 


134      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

to  do  with  your  sect  in  any  way,  shape  or 
manner.  I  get  no  thanks  from  you  for  anything 
I  do,  and  the  worm  may  jest  as  well  turn  first 
as  last." 

"Do  you  pretend  to  say,  Josiah,  that  you  did 
this  to  please  me?" 

"Yes  mom,  I  do!  I  did  it  to  please  you,  and 
to  take  that  woman's  part.  You  hearn  her 
say  she  wanted  to  dance,  but  no  man  wuz 
forthcominV, 

"Dance!"  sez  I,  "dance  at  ninety  years  old!" 

"She  hain't  much  more'n  eighty,"  sez  he, 
"I  don't  believe.  But  anyway,  you  won't  git 
me  into  such  a  scrape  agin.  Your  sect  may  be 
trod  on  for  all  that  I  care.  They  may  set  round 
till  they  grow  to  their  chairs  and  be  trompled 
down  into  the  ground  —  and  I  jest  as  soon 
tromple  on  a  few  myself,"  sez  he  recklessly. 

Oh  dear  me!  what  a  mysterious  curous  trial 
pardners  be  more'n  half  the  time!  but  still  I 
feel  that  they  pay  after  all. 

Let  him  talk  as  he  would  I  knew  he  wuz  only 
carryin'  out  that  fad  to  try  to  be  genteel  and 
fashionable,  and  oh  how  much  trouble  I've  seen, 
from  first  to  last,  with  that  sperit  in  my  pardner! 

Well,  we  didn't  stay  down  much  longer. 
Faith    had    stepped    out    of   the    long    winder 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    135 

behind  us  and  wuz  lookin'  off  onto  the  glorified 
river  durin'  this  contrary  temps,  and  as  I  glanced 
out  of  the  winder  to  look  for  her  I  see  the  huge 
form  of  Mr.  Pomper  hoverin'  in  the  foreground, 
and  I  sez  to  Josiah,  "I  think  it  is  time  to  retire 
and  go  to  bed." 

And  Faith  beinJ  ready  to  go,  we  ascended  to 
our  rooms.  As  we  passed  one  of  the  landin' 
places  on  the  staircase  where  some  chairs  wuz 
placed,  I  see  the  ancient  dame  settin'  and 
sarahuptishously  rubbin'  her  ankle  jints.  She 
straightened  up  and  looked  kinder  coquetishly 
at  my  pardner,  but  he  swep'  by  her  as  if  she 
wuz  so  much  dirt  under  his  feet.  Truly  he 
seemed  to  be  carryin'  out  his  plan  of  ignorin' 
my  sect  and  passin'  'em  by  scornfully.  I  may 
see  trouble  with  that  sperit  in  him  yet. 

The  next  mornin'  Josiah  wanted  Faith  and  I 
to  go  out  with  him  fishin'  and  have  a  fish  dinner, 
a  sort  of  a  picnic,  on  some  island  on  the  fishin' 
grounds.  That's  quite  a  fashionable  entertain- 
ment. They  fish  till  they  git  real  hungry  I 
spoze,  and  then  the  boatman  puts  into  some 
sheltered  cove,  and  the  party  goes  on  shore, 
builds  a  fire  and  cooks  some  of  the  fish  they 
have  got,  and  make  coffee,  and  with  the  nice 
lunch  they  took  from  the  hotel,  they  have  a 


1 36      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

splendid  dinner  I  spoze,  and  take  sights  of 
comfort. 

Why  lots  of  folks  there  would  go  out  day  after 
day  early  in  the  morning,  and  stay  until  night, 
and  then  would  walk  proudly  in  with  a  long 
string  of  fish,  and  would  lay  'em  on  the  desk 
in  the  office,  and  a  admirin'  crowd  would  gather 
round  to  look  at  'em  and  wonder  how  much 
they  weighed.  Why  wimmen  and  children 
would  catch  fish  so  big  that  it  is  a  wonder  they 
could  draw  'em  into  the  boat,  and  I  spoze  they 
did  have  help  from  the  stronger  sect  (stronger 
arms  I  mean).  And  besides  the  fish  I  spoze 
they  ketch  happiness  and  health. 

Well  Josiah  wuz  rampant  to  go.  He  said 
he  wanted  to  surprise  the  crowd  in  the  hotel 
and  the  hull  of  Well's  Island  with  the  fish  he 
would  git,  and  then  I  spoze  the  idee  of  the 
dinner  wuz  drawin'  him  onward.  I  brung  up 
several  arguments,  such  as  the  danger,  fatigue, 
etc.,  but  he  stood  firm.  But  I  had  one  weepon 
left  that  seldom  failed,  and  as  a  last  resort  I 
drawed  that  weepon,  and  he  fell  woonded  to 
once.  Sez  I,  "Do  you  have  any  idee,  Josiah 
Allen,  how  much  it  is  goin'  to  cost  you?" 

His  linement  fell.  He  hadn't  thought  on't. 
I  see  him  silently  draw  a  boatman  into  a  corner 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     137 

and  interview  him,  and  I  hearn  no  more  about  a 
fishin'  picnic. 

The  very  evenin'  after  this,  Fate  and  Mr. 
Pomper  gin  me  a  chance  to  carry  out  the  plan 
I'd  laid  out  heretofore.  Josiah  had  stepped 
over  to  the  post  office,  and  Faith  had  walked 
over  with  him  at  my  request,  for  she  had  a  head- 
ache, and  I  told  him  to  walk  down  to  the  wharf 
with' her  and  see  if  the  cool  air  wouldn't  do  her 
good.  So  she  had  put  a  black  lace  scarf  over 
her  pretty  golden  hair  and  went  off  with  him. 

Well,  there  wuz  big  doin's  at  the  Tabernacle 
that  night,  and  it  wuz  a  off  night  for  music, 
and  I  found  the  parlor  nearly  deserted  when  I 
walked  in  and  sot  down  in  my  accustomed  easy 
chair.  And  no  sooner  had  I  sot  down  seem- 
in'ly  than  Mr.  Pomper's  massive  form  emerged 
onto  the  seen,  and  he  drawed  up  a  chair  and 
sot  down  by  my  side. 

Agreably  to  the  plans  I  had  laid  down  in 
my  mind,  I  did  not  object  to  the  move.  But 
though  a  picture  of  calmness  on  the  outside, 
inwardly  I  wuz  callin'  almost  wildly  on  my 
powers  of  memory,  tryin'  to  think  jest  what 
Malviny  had  done,  one  of  the  immortal  Children 
of  the  Abbey,  when  Lord  Mortimer  approached 
her  with  his  onlawful  suit,  and  I  tried  also  to 


138      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

recall  what  the  Mountain  Mourner  had  done 
in  like  circumstances,  but  before  I  had  half 
done  interviewin'  them  heroines  in  sperit  my 
mind  wuz  recalled  into  the  onwelcome  present 
by  Mr.  Pomper's  voice  in  my  left  ear: 

"I  asked  you,  Josiah  Allen's  wife,"  sez  he,  "to 
listen  to  me,  for  I  felt  that  you  wuz  the  most 
proper  person  for  me  to  state  my  feelings  to. 
Since  you  and  your  party  have  entered  this 
house,"  sez  he,  "I  have  had  a  great  conflict 
goin'  on  between  my  mind  and  my  heart." 

"Ah  indeed!  have  you?"  sez  I,  liftin'  my 
nose  at  a  angle  of  from  forty  to  fifty  degrees. 

"Yes,"  sez  he,  "I  have  had  a  great  struggle 
between  my  heart  and  my  common  sense,  and 
in  the  battle  that  ensued,  Common  Sense  and 
Reason  has  had  to  retire  into  the  background, 
and  Heart  has  triumphed." 

"It  is  a  great  pity!"  sez  I,  "Common  Sense 
and  Reason  had  much  better  come  out  ahead," 
and  agin  I  lifted  my  nose  to  its  extremest 
limit,  and  looked  swords  and  prunin'  knives  at 
him. 

"That  is  just  what  most  folks  would  say,  I 
am  aware,  but  listen  to  my  story  before  you 
judge.  I  must  reveal  to  you  the  state  of  my 
heart  and  affections!" 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     139 

How  sure  it  is  that  when  a  kag  is  tapped  the 
contents  will  run  out  no  matter  whether  it  is 
wine  or  water.  At  them  bold  words  accom- 
panied by  the  ardent  rollin'  of  that  lone  orb, 
my  well-laid  plans  all  left  my  mind,  nothin  wuz 
left  but  pure  principle  and  devotion  and  loyalty 
to  my  pardner.  The  full  kag  emptied  its  con- 
tents over  his  nefarious  purposes,  and  I  bust 
out  almost  onbeknown  to  me  and  sez: 

"It  is  no  use;  it  is  vain,  it  is  worse  than 
vain!   it  is  wicked!" 

"What,"  sez  he,  "is  she  engaged  to  another?" 

"Who?"  sez  I,  turnin  like  lightnin'  and  facin 

him. 

"Why,  Miss  Smith,  your  niece  or  grand-child 
who  is  with  you.     That  beauchious  creature!" 

sez  he. 

"Faithful  Smith!"  sez  I  faintly,  "is  she  the 
one  you  are  talkin'  about?" 

"Yes,"  sez  he,  "your  grand-daughter,  is  she 

not?" 

"My  grand-daughter!"  sez  I  in  deep  con- 
tempt, "she  is  my  own  cousin  on  my  own  side." 

"I  thought,"  sez  he,  "from  her  looks  and  yours 
that  she  might  be  your  grand-child,  but  that 
is  of  no  moment,"  sez  he. 

"It   is   of  moment!"    sez   I,    "she   is   uncle 


140      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

Leander  Smith's  own  child,  and  though  she  is 
a  few  years  younger  than  I  be,  it  has  always 
been  said  and  thought  all  over  Jonesville  and 
Loontown  that  I  hold  my  age  to  a  remarkable 
extent.  And  though  I  think  my  eyes  of  Faith 
I  won't  thank  you  or  anyone  else  for  callin'  her 
my  grand-child!" 

"But  yet,"  sez  he,  " that's  a  tender,  sweet 
relationship.  What  I  want  to  say  to  you  is 
in  relation  to  Miss  Smith,  she  looks  sad  but 
beauchious.  I  like  her  looks.  You  may  have 
noticed  that  I  have  occasionally  glanced  in  the 
direction  of  your  party." 

"Yes,"  sez  I,  "  Heaven  knows  I  have  noticed 
it!" 

"Yes,"  sez  he,  "as  I  have  looked  upon  her 
face  from  day  to  day  a  conflict  has  been  wagin' 
in  my  heart,  and  though  you  may  be  surprised 
at  the  result  (for  I  am  very  wealthy)  I  have 
decided  to  make  her  glad  and  joyous  once  more." 

He  paused,  as  if  for  a  reply,  and  I  sez,  "How 
did  you  mean  to  tackle  the  job?" 

"By  makin'  her  my  wife,"  sez  he. 

The  mystery  wuz  all  explained,  my  dignity 
and  my  beloved  pardner's  safety  all  assured. 
I  felt  a  feeling  of  infinite  relief,  and  yet  I  felt 
like  a  fool,  and  I  blamed  him  severely  for  this 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     141 

ridiculous  contrary  temps  that  had  occurred  in 

my  mind. 

"Of  course/'  sez  he,  "it  is  a  great  rise  for 
her,  I  have  hearn  that  she  hain't  worth  much, 
as  I  count  wealth,  and  as  we  are  speakin'  in 
confidence,  I  will  say  that  there  is  a  rich  widder 
here  who   has   hopes  of  me,   and   mebby  I've 
gin  her  some  encouragement,  kinder  accidental, 
as  you   may   say,   but   I   ort   to  know  better. 
Widdowers  can't  be  too  careful;    they  do  great 
harm,  let  'em  be  as  careful  as  possible.     They 
tromple   right  and   left  over  wimmen's  hearts 
do  the  best  they  can.     But  since  I  have  seen 
Miss  Smith  and  witnessed  her  sad  face  I  have 
done  a  sight  of  thinkin'.     Here  the  case  lays, 
the   widder   is    strong,    she   can   stand    trouble 
better.     The  widder  is  happy,  for  she  has  got 
that   which   will   make   any   woman   happy  — 
health,  wealth,  and  property.     And  I've  been 
turnin'  it  over  in  my  mind  that  mebby  Duty  is 
drawin'  me  away  from  the  widder  and  towards 
the    maid.     It    hain't    because    the    widder    is 
homely  as  the  old  Harry  that  influences  me, 
no  not  at  all.     But  the  thought  of  lightenin'  the 
burden  of  the  sad  and  down  hearted,  makin' 
the  mournful  eyes  dance  with  ecstasy,  and  the 
skrinkin'   form  bound  with  joy  like  —  like  — 


142      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

the  boundin'  row  on  the  hill  tops.  Now  as  the 
case  stands  marry  I  will  and  must.  My  wife 
has  already  been  lost  for  a  period  of  three 
months  lackin'  three  weeks.  She  sweetly  passed 
away  murmurin',  'I  am  glad  to  go/' 

"No  wonder  at  that!"  I  sez,  "no  wonder!" 
"Yes,  she  wuz  a  Christian  and  she  passed 
sweetly  up  into  the  Hevings,  thank  the  Lord!" 
sez  he  lookin'  aerost  onto  Faith's  sweet  face, 
for  she  had  come  back  and  set  down  aerost  the 
room. 

"She  is  better  off,  I  hain't  a  doubt  on't!"  sez 
I  fervently. 

"I  don't  know  about  that.  I  did  well  by 
her,  and  she  felt  as  well  as  myself,  that  to  be 
my  wife  wuz  a  fate  not  often  gin  to  mortal 
wimmen." 

"That  is  so!"  sez  I  fervently,  "that  is  so!" 
"Yes  she  wuz  proud  and  happy  durin'  her 
life.  I  did  everything  for  her.  I  killed  a 
chicken  durin'  her  last  sickness  onasked,  jest 
to  surprise  her  with  soup.  She  lived  proud  and 
happy  and  died  happy." 

"I  hain't  a  doubt  that  she  died  happy." 
"No,"   sez   he,   "and   now   I   must   make   a 
choice  of  her  successor.     It  is  a  hard  job  to  do," 
sez  he. 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     143 

"No  doubt  on't,"  sez  I,  "no  doubt  on't!" 
"Yes,  whatever  woman  I  choose,  some  must 
be  left,  pinin'  on  their  stems,  to  speak  poeti- 
cally.    I    can't    marry    every    woman,    that's 
plain  to  be  seen." 

"Yes,  thank  Heaven!  that's  a  settled  thing," 
sez  I  lookin'  longin'ly  at  my  pardner^  who  wuz 
leanin'  aginst  the  door  and  conversin'  with  the 
man  of  the  house  on  his  chosen  theme,  for 
anon  or  oftener  I  hearn  the  words  —  Coney 
Island!   Dreamland  —  Luny  Park,  etc.,  etc. 

"No,  and  my  choice  made,  I  want  it  done 
as  speedily  as  possible,  for  my  late  lamented 
left  as  a  slight  token  of  her  love  thirteen  children 
of  all  ages,  rangin'  from  six  months  up  to  twelve 
years,  two  pairs  of  triplets,  two  ditto  of  twins, 
and  three  singles. 

"My  wealth  lays  in  land  mostly.  I  never 
believed  in  idle  luxuries,  only  comfort,  solid 
comfort,  and  my  wife  will  have  a  luxurious 
home  of  a  story  and  a  half  upright,  and  a  linter, 
groceries  and  necessaries  all  provided,  and  all 
she  will  have  to  do  will  be  the  housework  and 
gently  train  and  care  for  the  minds  and  bodies  of 
the  little  ones,  with  some  help  from  the  oldest 
set  of  triplets,  and  make  my  home  agin  an  oasis 
of  joy,  a   Eden   below.   Oh!  how   happy   she 


i44       SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 


41 

fl\  JH 

1 

*~ '..-^: 

iTIililllillilll/iliHlf 


No,'  sez  Mr.  Pomper,  1 1  want  it  done  as  speedily  as 
possible,  fer  my  late  lamented  left  me  thirteen  children, 
two  pairs  of  triplets,  two  ditto  of  twins,  and  three 
singles'"  (See  page  143) 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     145 

will  be!"  sez  he,  "Nestlin'  down  like  a  wanderin' 
dove  in  the  safety  and  peace  and  pride  of  mar- 
ried life.  When  can  I  see  Miss  Smith?"  sez  he. 
"Or  will  you  tell  her  in  advance  of  her  good 
fortune?" 

"No  indeed!"  sez  I,  "I  make  no  matches  nor 
break  none.     You  will  have   to   do  your  own 


errents." 


CHAPTER    NINE 

In  which  Mr.  Pomper  makes  a 
offer  of  marriage  and  Faith 
has  a  wonderful  experience 


CHAPTER    NINE 

IN  WHICH  MR.  POMPER  MAKES  A  OFFER 
OF  MARRIAGE  AND  FAITH  HAS  A  WON- 
DERFUL EXPERIENCE 

FAITH  had  got  up  and  gone  out  onto  the 
piazza,  and  he  riz  up  ponderously  and 
proudly  and  follered  her.  And  onless  I 
put  cotton  in  my  ears,  I  couldn't  help  hearhY 
what  wuz  said.  I  could  hear  his  proud  axent 
and  her  low  gentle  voice  in  reply. 

Sez  he,  "Miss  Smith,  of  course  you  hain't 
known  me  long,  but  I  feel  that  we  are  well 
acquainted.  I  have  watched  you  when  you 
hain't  known  it." 

I  could  imagine  just  how  wonderingly  the 
soft  gentle  eyes  wuz  raised  to  his  as  he  went  on : 

"Yes,  I  have  kep'  my  eye  on  you,  and  I  will 
say  right  out  that  I  like  your  looks  and  your 
ways,  and  I  feel  that  you  are  worthy  of  being 
promoted  to  the  high  honor  I  am  about  to  heap 
onto  you,  by  askin'  you  to  be  my  wife." 

I  heard  a  little  low,  skairt  ejaculation  and  a 
chair  pushed  back. 

149 


ISO      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

"Your  wife!  oh  no,  no,  you  are  mistaken !" 

Then  his  voice  in  soothin'  axents,  "There,  set 
down  agin,  set  down.  I  knew  you'd  take  it  so. 
I  knew  it  would  overcome  you,  but  I  say  you 
are  worthy  on't,  and  you  needn't  never  be 
afraid  I'll  throw  it  in  your  face  that  I  am  rich 
and  you  —  and  you " 

Then  I  hearn  a  swish  of  a  dress  float  along, 
quick  steps  acrost  the  piazza,  a  door  shet,  and 
anon  Mr.  Pomper  come  back  to  me. 

"Jest  as  I  told  you,  mom,  stunted,"  sez  he, 
"fairly  stunted  and  broke  down  by  the  sudden- 
ness of  the  good  news.  I'll  give  her  time  to 
git  used  to  the  idee.  I  won't  say  no  more  at 
present." 

"No,"  sez  I  dryly,  "I  wouldn't  if  I  wuz  in 
your  place,  I'd  go  and  rub  some  ile  into  my  head 
or  sweat  it,  or  sunthin'." 

"What  for?"  sez  he  in  surprise,  "why  should 
I  bathe  my  head,  or  annoint  it?" 

"Oh  nothin',"  sez  I,  "if  you  don't  think  it 
needs  softenin'  up  and  illuminatin'." 

Well,  I  went  up  to  my  room  and  in  a  few 
minutes  Faith  come  in,  and  she  went  right  by 
me  and  looked  in  the  glass.  She  wuz  pale  and 
seemed  to  be  kinder  tremblin'.  She  studied 
her  face  intently  in  the  lookin'  glass,  then  sez 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     151 

she,  "What  is  there  in  my  face,  what  have  I 
done?"  sez  she,  "How  have  I  looked,  that  that 
awful  man  dare  insult  me?  Oh,  I  must  have 
looked  weak  or  acted  weak,  or  he  wouldn't  have 
dared  to!"  and  she  busted  out  cryin'. 

And  I  sez  soothin'ly,  "It  hain't  the  worst 
thing  that  could  happen  to  you.  A  offer  of 
marriage  hain't  like  a  attack  of  yeller  fever,  or 
cholera,  or  even  the  janders,  nor,"  sez  I,  "it 
hain't  like  losin'  friends,  or  a  plague  of  grass- 
hoppers, or " 

And  I  spoze  there  hain't  no  tellin'  onto  what 
hites  of  eloquence  I  might  have  riz  to  cheer  her 
up.  But  all  of  a  sudden  she  bust  out  a-laughin' 
with  the  tears  standin'  in  her  big  eyes  and 
runnin'  down  her  cheeks. 

"There,"  sez  I,  "you  see  I'm  right,  don't 
you?" 

"Oh  you  dear,  delicious  Samantha!"  sez  she, 
and  she  throwed  her  arms  round  me  and  kissed 
me.  I  kissed  her  back  and  then  I  went  on 
brushin'  my  hair  for  the  night.  I  hadn't 
nothin'  on  but  my  skirts  and  dressin'  sack,  but 
I  didn't  mind  her.  And  she  went  and  sot  down 
by  the  winder  and  looked  off  into  the  wTest.  Fur 
off  the  blue  hazy  distance  lay  like  another 
country.     The   moonlight   lay   on    the   waters, 


1 52      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

a  white  sail  fur  off  seemed  to  float  into  the 
dreamy  mist.  She  sot  there  still,  and  a  queer 
look  seemed  to  come  into  her  face.  I  felt  that 
she  wuz  thinkin'  of  him,  the  lost  lover  of  her 
youth.  I  felt  that  she  wuz  with  him  and  not 
with  me.  I  thought  from  the  looks  of  her  face 
she  might  think  he  had  been  insulted  by  the 
rude  feet  that  had  assayed  to  walk  into  the 
kingdom  where  he  had  rained,  and  rained  still, 
I  believe.  Sez  I  to  myself,  mebby  she  is  walkin' 
with  him  in  the  past,  and  mebby  in  the  futer, 
how  could  I  tell,  I  felt  queer  and  wadded  up 
my  hair  with  emotions  that  never  before  went 
into  them  hair  pins. 

After  I  had  finished  I  sot  down,  as  my  habit 
is,  to  read  a  few  verses  of  Skripter,  to  sort  o' 
carry  with  me  in  my  journey  through  the 
unknown  realms  of  Sleep.  And  as  I  make  a 
practice  of  openin'  wherever  I  happen  to  —  or 
I  don't  really  like  that  word  happen  —  I  let 
the  book  open  where  it  will,  and  I  wuz  jest 
readin'  these  words: 

"Ye  have  seen  all  that  the  Lord  did  before 
your  eyes,  the  signs  and  the  great  miracles." 

When  I  hearn  through  my  readin',  as  one  will, 
the  whistle  of  the  night  boat  comin'  in,  and  the 
noise  of  many  steps  goin'  along  the  walk  below. 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     153 

Then  I  opened  the  book  agin  and  went  on  with 
my  readin': 

"The  secret  things  belong  unto  the  Lord  our 
God,  but  these  things  that  are  revealed  belong 
to  us. 

When  sunthin'  made  me  look  up,  Faith  wuz 
bendin'  forward  lookin'  out  of  the  winder, 
though  she  couldn't  see  anyone  that  wuz 
passin'  on  account  of  the  ruff,  and  I  see  a  look 
that  I  never  see  before  on  any  face,  it  wuz  all 
rousted  up,  illuminated,  glad,  triumphant,  sad, 
glowin',  blessed,  and  everything  else. 

And  I  said,  "What  is  it,  Faith,  what  do  you 
see?" 

Sez  she,  "I  don't  know." 

And  I  said  then,  "What  do  you  think  it  is?" 

And  she  sez,  "Cousin  Samantha,  do  you  think 
that  those  who  are  far  away  ever  return  to  the 
hearts  that  are  mourning  for  them?  Is  there 
any  way  that  souls  can  meet  while  the  bodies 
are  far  apart?" 

"Why  yes,"  sez  I,  "I  have  always  thought  so, 
I  h^ve  always  thought  they  had  some  way  of 
tellin'  us  they  wuz  nigh  without  usin'  language 
we  know  anything  about.  Many  is  the  time 
I've  expected  visitors  that  I  hadn't  seen  or 
hearn    from    in    some    time,    and    sure    enough 


154      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

they'd  come  jest  as  I  seemed  to  think  they  would. 
And  letters!  how  many  a  time  all  of  a  sudden 
I  would  most  know  I  wuz  goin'  to  git  a  letter 
from  somebody,  and  sure  enough  when  Josiah 
would  go  to  the  post  office  he'd  bring  it  back 
with  him.  How  them  folks  hundreds  of  milds 
away  managed  to  let  me  know  they  wuz  thinkin' 
of  me  on  paper,  or  how  I  knew  these  friends  wuz 
approachin'  onbeknown  to  me,  I  don't  know 
nor  Josiah  don't. 

"There  wuzn't  no  U.  S.  stamp  on  these  mes- 
sages, nor  earthly  hands  didn't  bring  the  tidin's 
of  these  visitors.  No  the  post-masters  and 
messengers  on  that  mysterious  Route  keep  per- 
fect silence  as  to  where  they  be,  or  who  they  be. 
But  they  are  at  work  all  the  same,  though  who 
they  work  for,  or  how  they  work,  how  can  we 
tell?  The  strange  rays  of  light  that  flash 
through  the  darkness  of  dense  bodies  makin' 
visible  what  has  been  onseen  since  the  creation, 
hasn't  discovered  these  highways  yet,  mebby 
they  will.  The  strange  new  air  route  messages 
that  travel  acrost  the  stormy  Atlantic  may  run 
right  acrost  these  mysterious  highways,"  and 
for  a  minute  my  mind  follered  off  on  them 
strange,  strange  tracks,  Marconi  roads  lighted 
by  X-rays  and  leadin'  who  knows  where. 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     155 

When  my  mind  kinder  come  back  agin  to 
what  we  wuz  talkin'  about  I  resoomed,  "And 
if  this  happens  to  us  as  it  duz  time  and  agin  in 
regard  to  friends  and  well  wishers,  how  much 
more  it  is  likely  to  be  true  of  those  we  love  and 
who  love  us.  This  strange  knowledge  and  fore- 
warnin'  is  not  material,  it  is  independent  of  the 
body  or  any  workin's  of  the  mind  that  we 
understand,  and  how  do  we  know  how  fur 
reachin'  and  universal  that  law  is  if  our  eyes 
wuz  not  held  so  we  could  discern  it?  If  these 
fine  senses  wuz  not  so  unused,  and  as  you  may 
say  bed-rid  by  disuse,  how  do  we  know  how 
truly  near  to  us  may  be  those  who  in  our  blind- 
ness we  say  are  fur  away,  how  do  we  know  but 
their  spiritual  self,  their  real  self,  may  be  nearer 
to  us  than  our  neighbors  in  the  flesh,  and  those 
who  sit  by  our  firesides,  though  our  mortal  eyes 
may  not  see  them,  and  oceans  and  seas  may 
divide  us  and  mebby  the  Deepest  River.  What 
do  we  know  about  the  onseen  roads  that  lay 
all  about  us,  leadin'  from  Loontown  and  Jones- 
ville  and  from  one  continent  to  the  other,  and 
mebby  up  through  the  clear  fields  of  Light? 
What  do  we  know  about  them  still  mysterious 
streets  windin'  mebby  from  our  home  and 
hearts  to  Thomas  Jefferson's,  and  so  on,  mebby 


156      SAMANTHA  AT  COXEY  ISLAND 

from  star  to  star?  And  what  do  we  know  of 
the  travelers  that  go  up  and  down  on  'em  and 
outward  and  homeward?  These  roads  don't 
need  any  surveyor  to  lay  'em  out,  or  path- 
master  to  clear  'em  of  snow  and  dirt,  no  weeds 
grow  up  by  the  wayside,  nor  dirt  lays  in  the 
track. 

"No,  clear  and  broad  and  unobstructed  the 
luminous  pathways  may  lay  all  round  us  on- 
known  to  us.  Noiseless  chariots,  swifter  than 
our  imaginations  can  grasp  now,  may  cleave 
these  star  routes,  connecting  one  land  to  an- 
other, and  mebby  jinin'  immense  distances  to 
our  planet,  as  easy  as  we  can  hitch  up  and  go 
to  Jonesville. 

"We  don't  see  these  noiseless  conveyances, 
lighter  and  swifter  than  thought,  nor  the  forms 
they  waft  to  us  from  afar.  We  can't  hear  their 
voices,  but  our  soul  listens !  We  feel  their  near- 
ness! For  a  blessed  moment  we  are  thrilled 
with  the  bliss  of  their  presence,  their  full  com- 
prehension of  pity  and  love. 

"'Dear  ones!'  our  heart  cries,  'where  are 
you?  Come  nearer!  Let  our  eyes  behold  you!' 
Our  soul  peers  longin'ly  through  the  mist  of 
earthly  blindness,  looking!   listening!" 

I  wuz  carried  some  distance  away  from  my- 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     157 

self  by  my  deep  eppisodin,  when  a  sigh  from 
Faith  brung  me  down  and  landed  me  on  terry 
firmy  agin  and  I  sez, 

"Why  do  you  ask  this  question  to-night, 
dear?" 

"Because,"  sez  she  in  a  tremblin'  voice,  "I 
feel  that  someone  long  gone  and  lost  is  near  me 
to-night,  I  feel  the  presence  nearer  than  you  are 
now,"  sez  she,  puttin'  her  little  white  tremblin' 
hand  on  my  own. 

"I  am  not  mistaken,"  sez  she  with  streaming 
eyes,  "I  know  that  in  whatever  world  or  dis- 
tant way  that  soul  may  be  dwelling  it  is  with 
me  to-night.  It  frightens  me!"  sez  she,  white 
as  a  cloth,  "And  it  fills  me  with  the  blessedness 
of  Heaven!"  And  she  smiled  with  her  big 
luminous  eyes.  She  wuz  tremblin'  like  a  popple 
leaf. 

"Well,  well,"  sez  I,  "shet  up  the  winder,  and 
take  a  little  catnip  tea.  I'll  steep  it  on  my 
alcohol  lamp,  and  go  to  bed.  You've  been 
excited  too  much  to-night."  I  knew,  though 
she  didn't  say  so,  that  the  very  idee  of  catnip 
wuz  repugnant  and  oncongenial  to  her  at  that 
time,  but  I  felt  that  I  had  reason  and  common 
sense  on  my  side.  Faithful  hain't  over  strong, 
and  had  been  through  considerable  excitement, 


158      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

besides  I  hearn  the  distant  step  of  my  pardner, 
and  his  voice  parleyin'  with  the  hall  boy  for 
sunthin\ 

And  though  the  subject  broached  by  Faith, 
and  believed  in  by  me,  wuz  as  interestin'  to 
me  as  a  subject  could  be,  yet  I  felt  then,  and 
feel  now,  that  though  transcendentalism  may 
be  more  agreable  talkin'  matter,  and  may  be 
indulged  in  at  times,  yet  such  commonplace 
subjects  as  herb  drink  has  to  be  brung  forwards 
and  sort  o'  hung  onto  by  our  minds,  in  order 
to  anchor  'em  as  it  were  to  the  land  of  Megum- 
ness,  where  I  would  fain  tarry  myself  and  have 
my  near  and  dearest  dwell.  But  Faith  said  she 
didn't  wrant  any  catnip,  and  jest  before  Josiah 
come  in  she  kissed  me  good  night,  and  I  said, 
"Good  night,  dear,  and  'God  be  with  you  till 
we  meet  again.'" 

I  knew  she  thought  everything  of  that  him, 
and  thought  mebby  it  would  sort  o'  quiet  her 
some  since  she  rejected  the  paneky  I  spoke  of. 
But  her  face  at  the  very  last  looked  white  and 
riz  up  and  luminous,  and  her  eyes  shone.  I 
felt  queer. 

The  next  day  wuz  Sunday  and  Josiah  and  I 
went  to  the  Tabernacle  to  meetin'.  Faith  havin' 
a  headache  didn't  go.     But  before  I   go  any 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     159 

furder  I  will  back  up  the  boat  and  moor  it  to 
the  shore,  while  I  tell  you  what  the  result  wuz 
so  fur  as  Mr.  Pomper  wuz  concerned.  At  the 
breakfast  table  next  mornin'  he  cast  languishin' 
glances  at  Faith,  and  then  looked  round  the 
room  proudly  as  much  as  to  say: 

"Gentlemen  and  ladies,  behold  my  choice, 
and  I  hain't  sorry  I  chose  her  out  of  the  throng 
of  waitin'  wimmen." 

But  some  time  durin'  that  day  he  found  out 
his  mistake.  I  don't  know  exactly  how  Faith 
managed  to  pierce  the  rhinocerous  hide  of  his 
self-conceit  with  the  truth,  but  she  did  somehow 
let  him  know  that  his  attentions  wuz  futile, 
futiler  than  he  ever  mistrusted  his  attentions 
could  be. 

But  he  wuzn't  danted  and  down-casted  more'n 
several  minutes,  I  guess,  for  anon  I  see  him 
walkin'  with  a  woman  almost  as  ponderous  as 
he  wuz,  and  as  she  wuz  all  janglin'  with  black 
jet  and  as  humbly  as  humbly  could  be,  I  mis- 
trusted that  he  had  gone  back  to  his  allegiance 
to  the  widder,  and  I  think  he  looked  happier 
than  I  had  ever  seen  him.  He  looked  as  if  he 
wuz  rejoiced  that  his  temporary  thraldom  to 
sentiment  wuz  over,  and  common  sense  and 
practical    gain    wuz    in    the    ascendancy    agin. 


160      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

And  though  it  hain't  much  matter,  I  will  say  I 
read  his  marriage  in  the  paper  the  next  week: 

"Amaziah    Pomper    to    Euphrasia,    relict   of 
Elnathan  Fatt." 

But  I  d'no  as  Faith  knew  anything  about  it, 

for  she  didn't  stay  with  us  only  a  few  days 

longer,  she  went  on  to  visit  her  aunt  Petrie  and 

so  on  to  the  Ohio,  makin'  a  solemn  promise  to 

me  to  stop  and  visit  us  on  her  way  home  the 

last  of  September.     Well,   I  will  now  onhitch 

the  boat  and  row  back,  and  then  let  it  sail  on 

down   the  stream  of  history.     As   I   said,   the 

next    day    after    that    singular    experience    of 

Faith's  wuz   Sunday,   and   my   pardner   and   I 

went   to   the  Tabernacle.     We  wuz   told   that 

there  wuz  to  be  oncommon  exercises  that  day 

owin'  to  the  visit  of  a  great  Evangelist  from  the 

West.     Lots  of  folks   had   come  on   the  night 

boats  so  as  to  be  there  to  hear  him.     For  if  the 

angel  Gabriel  wanted  to  preach  there  to  lost 

sinners,  he  couldn't  land  there  on  Sunday  unless 

he  swum  or  come  cross  lots  (that  is,  unless  he 

flowed   down).     The  folks  on   that   island   are 

too  good  to  let  anyone  come  there  to  meetin' 

unless    they    come    sarahuptishously.     I    asked 

a  trustee  once  why  it  wuz  wicked  for  folks  to 

ride  there  to  meetin'. 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     161 

And  he  said,  "A  merciful  man  is  merciful  to 
his  beast." 

Sez  I,  "A  steamer  hain't  a  beast,  and  if  it 
wuz,  it  wouldn't  tucker  it  out  much  to  come  over 
from  the  bay  or  Clayton."  And  he  said  the 
sailors  would  have  to  toil  to  git  'em  there. 

"  So  the  driver  and  the  horses  have  to  toil  to 
git  sinners  to  meetin'  on  the  main  land,"  sez  I. 
And  he  said,  "The  steamers  would  make  noise 
and  confusion,  and  disturb  the  sweet  Sabbath 
calm."  I  felt  there  wuz  some  truth  in  this, 
though  it  wouldn't  make  nigh  so  much  noise 
as  the  thousands  of  church  bells  clangin'  out 
church  time  in  cities  and  villages. 

Sez  he,  "If  we  allowed  boats  to  land  here  we 
should  be  overrun  with  excursionists  who  don't 
care  for  Sunday  as  a  day  of  holy  quiet  and  rest, 
and  our  peaceful  Sabbath  would  be  turned  into 
a  carnival  of  pleasure  seekers,  flirtations,  giggles, 
brown  paper  parcels,  egg  shells,  cigar  smoke 
and  sandwiches." 

And  I  sez,  "Like  as  not  that  is  so."  And  I 
felt  that  mebby  he  wuz  in  the  right  on't.  But 
some  don't  like  it  and  feel  that  they'd  ort  to 
take  the  resk. 


CHAPTER    TEN 


We  hear  a  great  temperance  ser- 
mon, but  yosiah  still  hankers 
for  Coney  Island 


CHAPTER   TEN 

WE  HEAR  A  GREAT  TEMPERANCE  SERMON, 
BUT  JOSIAH  STILL  HANKERS  FOR  CONEY 
ISLAND 

EVER  since  I  had  been  to  the  Thousand 
Island  Park,  my  mind  had  roamed  onto 
that  idee  of  the  Tabernacle  with  a  sort 
of  or.  It  is  a  big  impressive  word  and  one 
calculated  to  impress  a  stranger  and  sojourner. 
And  so  when  we  made  up  our  minds  to  attend 
to  it  I  almost  instinctively  put  on  my  best 
alpacky  dress  (London  brown)  and  I  also  run 
a  new  ribbin  into  my  braize  veil  and  tied  it 
round  my  bunnet  so  it  would  hang  in  graceful 
folds  adown  the  left  side  of  my  frame,  I 
also  put  on  my  black  mitts  and  my  mantilly 
with  tabs;  of  course  I  carried  my  faithful 
umbrell. 

I  looked  well.  Faith  had  a  bad  headache, 
I  guess  the  job  of  gittin'  that  information  into 
Mr.  Pomper's  head  had  tuckered  her  out,  so 
I  and  my  pardner  sot  off  alone.  All  the  way 
there  my  mind  wuz  real  riz  up  thinkin'  I  wuz 

165 


166      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

goin'  to  see  sunthin'  very  grand  lookin'  and 
scriptural,  and  I  said  over  and  over  to  myself 
a  number  of  times  with  deep  respect  and  or, 
"Tabernacle!  Tabernacle!" 

Yes,  I  felt  some  as  if  I  wuz  the  Queen  of 
Sheba  and  Josiah  wuz  Solomon,  though  I  might 
have  knowed,  my  pardner  lacked  the  first 
ingregient  in  Solomon's  nater,  wisdom.  And 
I  probable  wuzn't  so  dressy  as  Miss  Sheba, 
'tennyrate  I  hadn't  no  crown  or  septer,  a  brown 
straw  bunnet  and  umbrell  meetin'  my  wants 
better,  but  not  nigh  so  dashy  lookin'.  But 
my  feelin's  all  come  from  the  name  of  the  place 
we  wuz  bound  for,  and  the  patriarchical,  Bibli- 
cal past  my  mind  wuz  rovin'  round  in.  Yes, 
my  mind  wuz  rousted  up  and  runnin'  on  the 
trimmin's  of  the  Ark  and  Temple.  I  thought 
like  as  not  I  should  see  purple  curtains  hung 
on  shinin'  poles,  jest  so  many  cubits  long  and 
high,  and  gorgeous  carpets  to  walk  on  and 
ornaments  and  fringes  and  tossels. 

I  would  not  ask  questions,  but  I  wuz  prepared 
for  splendid  lookin'  things  and  lots  of  'em. 
Well,  if  you'll  believe  me  there  wuzn't  a  thing 
there  that  I  expected  to  see,  not  a  ornament  or 
curtain  or  tossel,  and  nothin'  but  jest  common 
ground  to  walk  on  like  our  suller  bottom  or 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     167 

dooryard.     And  long  benches  all  through  it  as 
fur  as  the  eye  could  reach  almost. 

The  platform  wuz  big  as  most  meetin  housen, 
but  bare  and  plain,  and  there  wuz  what  seemed 
to  be  sheets  hung  up  round  the  hull  concern, 
though  rolled  up  so  we  could  see  out  all  round 
us.  There  wuz  only  one  way  it  come  up  to  my 
idees,  and  that  wuz  the  cubits.  I  should  think 
it  wuz  jest  about  as  many  cubits  long  and 
broad  as  anything  ever  wuz  or  ever  will  be. 
They  say  it  will  hold  five  thousand  folks,  and 
I  should  judge  they  wuz  all  there  that  mornin, 
and  had  brung  their  children  and  relations  on 
both  sides. 

They  wuz  havm  a  song  service  when  we  went 
in,  and  to  hear  five  thousand  voices  or  so  fillin' 
that  Tabernacle  full  of  high  and  inspirin  melody, 
wuz  indeed  a  treat.  It  filled  it  so  full  that  it 
oozed  out  of  the  sheets  on  all  sides  and  soared  up 
through  the  encirclin  green  trees,  up,  up  towards 
the  blue  sky,  and  no  knowin'  how  much  furder  it 
did  go  upwards,  clear  up  to  Heaven  like  as  not, 
for  that  place  we  have  always  been  told  is  the 
home  of  music.  It  wuz  sunthin  to  remember 
as  long  as  you  lived  to  hear  that  great  flood  of 
melody  flow  out  and  swash  and  sway  round  us, 
bearin'  us  some  distance  away  from  ourselves. 


168      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

My  Josiah  tuned  up  and  sung  jest  as  loud  as 
any  of  'em,  but  his  singin'  would  have  sounded 
better  if  he  had  sung  the  tune  the  rest  did. 
He  sung  the  tune  he  had  always  been  used  to 
singin'  hims  in,  he  is  dretful  sot  on  it,  and  don't 
like  to  change.  But  as  he  seemed  to  enjoy  it 
so  much,  and  the  great  rush  of  melody  wuz  so 
powerful  his  voice  wuz  onnoticed.  The  him 
wuz,  "How  firm  a  foundation  ye  saints  of  the 
Lord." 

Mr.  Pomper  wuz  jest  ahead  on  us,  and 
thinkin'  he  would  see  better,  I  spoze  had  got 
up  on  the  bench,  and  jest  as  he  shouted  out 
with  the  rest,  "How  firm  a  foundation,"  the 
bench  broke  and  down  he  come,  but  in  the  big 
volume  of  sound,  his  yell  of  fright  wuzn't  heard 
no  more  than  the  note  of  a  mosquito  in  a 
cyclone. 

In  the  intervals  of  silence  Josiah  sot  and  made 
comments  to  me  on  the  surroundin'  seen,  that 
alas  made  me  know  his  mind  wuzn't  riz  up 
on  such  hites  as  mine  wuz.  He  commented 
on  the  looks  of  the  men  around  him,  and  cast 
the  idee  in  my  face  that  there  wuzn't  any  on 
'em  so  good  lookin'  as  he  wuz,  or  nigh  so  dis- 
tinguished in  their  means.  I  felt  sorry  to 
think  he  wuz  so  blinded,  though  of  course  he 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     169 


"Mr.  Pomper,  thinkin'  he  would  see  better,  got  up  on  the 
bench,  and  jest  as  he  shouted  out  'How  firm  a  foun- 
dation,' the  bench  broke  and  down  he  come:' 

(See  page  168) 


170       SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

looks  good  to  me.  And  he  talked  about  the 
wimmen  and  advanced  the  idee  that  they  well 
might  take  pattern  by  his  pardner  in  their 
looks  and  deportment.  Josiah  after  all  is  a 
man  of  good  sense. 

As  I  looked  round  me,  I  liked  the  place  more 
and  more.  What  need  wuz  there  of  upholstery 
and  carpets?  Brussels  never  turned  out  such 
a  carpet  as  old  Mom  Nater  had  spread  all  round 
that  Temple  of  hern.  Old  Gobelin  never  wove 
such  tapestry.  No  Empress  of  the  wonder-laden 
East  ever  had  hung  in  her  boodore  such  a 
marvelous  green  texture  as  drooped  down  in 
emerald  canopies  above  us.  No  golden  lamp 
ever  gin  such  a  light  as  sifted  down  over  the 
matchless  green  overhead,  to  light  that  solemn 
sanctuary.  No  organ  ever  gin  out  such  sweet 
sound  as  the  birds  warbled  anon  or  oftener. 
No  jeweled  ornaments  ever  sparkled  on  a  altar 
like  the  emerald  and  gold  winged  butterflies 
flutterin'  round  that  sacred  hant,  amongst  the 
wild  flowers  that  blossomed  even  up  to  the  door. 
And  it  seemed  as  if  the  soul  could  soar  up 
easier  somehow  when  you  could  look  right  into 
the  blue  mystery  of  the  sky,  the  trackless  path 
that  souls  mount  up  on  in  prayer  and  praise. 
Somehow  plaster  and  mortar  seem   more  con- 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     171 

finin'.  Though  I  cTno  as  it  really  makes  any 
difference.  Heaven  is  over  all,  and  the  soul's 
wings  can  pierce  the  heaviest  material,  bein' 
made  in  jest  that  strong  and  delicate  way,  but 
yet  it  seemed  more  free  and  soarin'  somehow, 
and  as  if  the  path  heavenward  wuz  clearer. 

The  breezes  kind  of  hung  off  and  didn't  come 
in.  Josiah  said  they  wuz  afraid  to  land  on 
Thousand  Island  Park  for  fear  of  bein'  fined 
for  travelin'  on  Sunday,  but  it  wuzn't  so,  they 
didn't  come  because  it  wuz  so  sultry  and  kinder 
muggy. 

I'd  hearn  that  the  man  who  wuz  goin'  to 
preach  wuz  a  dretful  smart  man,  a  Evangelist 
and  Temperance  Lecturer.  A  man  so  gifted 
and  good  that  folks  would  go  milds  and  milds 
to  hear  him,  he  seemed  to  hold  the  secret  of 
inspirin'  men  and  wimmen,  and  rousin'  'em 
out  of  their  cold  icy  states,  and  drawin'  'em 
right  along  towards  the  mounts  he  habitually 
stood  on.  He'd  done  sights  of  good,  sights 
on  it. 

And  anon  I  see  a  stir  round  the  preacher's 
stand  that  made  me  know  the  speaker  of  the 
day,  the  great  Revivalist  and  Temperance 
worker  had  come.  And  most  immegiately  a 
tall  figger  passed  through  the  crowd  that  made 


172      SAMANTHA  AT  COXEY  ISLAND 

way  for  him  reverentially.  There  wuz  a  smile 
and  a  good  look  on  his  face  for  all  the  bretheren 
round  him,  some  like  a  benediction,  only  less 
formal.  As  he  come  out  on  the  stand  and 
stood  before  us  I  could  see  that  there  wuz  a 
light  shinin'  on  his  face  as  if  ketched  from  some 
heavenly  and  divine  power.  His  eyes  wuz 
soft  and  deep  looking  as  if  he  knew  jest  how 
mean  and  weak  humanity  wuz,  and  wuz  sorry 
for  folks,  and  would  like  to  tell  'em  the  secret 
he  had  found  out,  how  to  overcome  the  world, 
the  flesh,  and  the  devil,  specially  the  devil. 

His  smile  wuz  sad  and  sweet,  jest  about 
half-and-half.  His  features  wuz  good,  and  his 
hair,  which  wuz  light  brown  to  start  with,  wuz 
considerable  gray  round  his  forward.  His  voice 
wuz  like  the  sound  of  deep  waters  that  pene- 
trates through  all  lighter  voices  and  that  you 
hear  through  'em  all,  jest  as  you  hear  the  voice 
of  the  great  River  through  all  the  murmurin's 
of  the  trees  and  bird  song  on  the  shore.  He 
gin  out  a  him  in  that  sweet  melogious  voice  that 
wuz  as  good  as  singin'  or  better.  The  him  told 
how,  though  we  could  not  climb  up  into  Heaven 
to  bring  the  Lord  Christ  down,  yet  how  love  had 
still  its  Olivet  and  Faith  its  Galilee.  And  one 
verse  wuz: 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    173 

The  healing  of  that  seamless  dress 

Is  by  our  beds  of  pain; 
We  touch  it  in  life's  care  and  stress 

And  we  are  strong  again. 

And  oh  the  truth  of  them  verses!  As  that 
man  read  and  prayed  and  spoke,  that  seamless 
dress  seemed  to  float  along  by  us,  worn  by  the 
pityin'  Christ,  we  laid  holt  on  it  with  our 
yearnin'  longin's  and  outreachin'  sperits,  and 
felt  that  strength  had  gone  out  of  it  into  our 
souls. 

His  prayer  seemed  to  bring  Heaven  so  near  to 
us  that  we  could  almost  look  in.  He  asked  the 
Lord  to  draw  nigh  to  us,  and  He  did.  He  asked 
Him  to  help  us  bear  our  daily  trials  and  temp- 
tations, and  the  weary  wearin'  cares  of  life, 
and  we  felt  that  He  would  help  us.  We  felt 
that  that  sweet  strong  appeal  for  the  Comforter 
to  come  into  our  lives  to  bless  and  strengthen 
us  for  good  work,  wuz  answered  then  and 
there. 

The  Word  he  read  wuz  that  incomparable 
chapter  in  Hebrews,  in  which  Paul  tells  of  the 
mighty  works  wrought  by  faith,  of  them  who 
through  faith  subdued  kingdoms,  wrought  right- 
eousness, stopped  the  mouths  of  lions,  out  of 
weakness  were  made  strong,  waxed  valiant  in 


1/4      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

fight,  turned  to  flight  the  armies  of  the  aliens. 
Women  received  their  dead  raised  to  life  agin. 
And  on  to  the  end  of  that  matchless  chapter. 

And  the  text  wuz,  "Wherefore  seeing  we  are 
encompassed  about  by  so  great  a  cloud  of  wit- 
nesses let  us  lay  aside  every  weight  and  the 
sin  that  doth  so  easily  beset  us,  and  let  us  run 
with  patience  the  race  that  is  set  before  us." 

And  then  follered  a  sermon  that  wuz  better 
than  any  I  ever  hearn  in  my  life,  and  I  have  sot 
under  splendid  preachers  in  my  day.  But  this, 
though  delivered  in  simple  language  wuz  so 
helpful,  lifting  us,  holding  us  up,  so  we  could 
ketch  a  glimpse  of  the  right  way  and  inspire  us 
with  the  strength  to  foller  it. 

He  pinted  out  to  us  the  sins  that  so  easily 
beset  us,  easily  indeed.  Not  the  old  sins  of 
Adam  and  Noah  and  the  rest  —  patriarchal  sins 
that  made  us  feel  reproachful  towards  the  old 
sinful  patriarchs  and  comfortable  toward  our- 
selves. No,  he  pinted  out  the  besettin'  sins  that 
are  rampant  and  liable  to  ruin  us  in  the  nineteen 
hundreds.  After  speakin'  of  the  other  deadly 
sins  that  are  liable  to  lay  holt  on  us,  such  as 
oncharitableness,  envy,  jealousy,  bigotry,  in- 
tolerance, injustice,  over-weaning  ambition,  and 
other  personal  and  national  sins,  he  spoke  at 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     175 

length  of  that  monster  sin,  that  national  disgrace, 
Intemperance. 

I  spoze  it  wuz  some  as  if  when  you  tapped  a 
barrel  filled  with  pure  water,  why  pure  water 
would  flow  out  of  it.     And  I  spoze  he  wuz  so 
full  of  his  great  life  work  aginst  that  gigantick 
evil    Intemperance,    that    them    ideas   had    to 
flow  out  when  the  plug  of  silence  wuz  removed. 
And    readin'   what   he    had   about   them  who 
through  faith  had  stopped  the  mouth  of  lions, 
escaped  the  edge  of  the  sword,  I  spoze  he  wanted 
to  make  his  hearers  feel  that  they  too  could  so 
arm  themselves  with  faith  and   the  power  of 
His    might,   as   to   stop   the   mouths   of    these 
nineteenth   century  lions,   overthrow   the  laws 
entrenched  in  lion-like  strength  in  the  strong- 
hold of  National  protection,    and    escape    the 
edge  of  the  sword  of  personal  greed  and  selfish- 
ness, and  put  to  flight  the  army  of  the  aliens 
from  God  and  the  good  of  humanity. 

And  I  spoze  when  he  thought  of  them  wimmen 
who  had  received  their  dead  raised  to  life  agin, 
he  thought  of  the  yearly  sacrifice  to  Intemper- 
ance, the  thousands  and  thousands  of  husbands, 
sons,  brothers  who  are  struck  by  the  death 
blight  now,  makin'  ready  to  fall  into  those 
oncounted   graves.     And   he   wanted    to   roust 


176      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

'em  up  and  save  their  souls  and  bodies  alive 
and  give  them  back  to  these  wimmen  agin, 
raised  from  the  dead. 

Yes,  his  warnin's  and  appeals  wuz  all  directed 
to  this  present  time  and  preached  to  us.  He 
never  mentioned  them  old  Egyptians  who  wuz 
all  dead  and  drownded  out  years  ago,  both  by  the 
Red  sea,  and  the  long  swosh  of  the  sea  of  Time, 
or  the  old  Jews  and  Hebrews,  nor  he  didn't 
dwell  on  science  or  philosophy,  but  he  pressed 
the  truth  home  to  the  hearts  of  his  hearers,  how 
the  Lord  Jesus  had  once  dwelt  upon  earth,  how 
He  had  passed  through  all  the  cares  and  suffer- 
ings that  we  wuz  passing  through,  how  He  wuz 
tempted  by  the  sins,  pained  by  the  griefs  of  the 
world,  and  how  He  pitied  us  and  would  help  us. 

As  I  say,  instead  of  Bible  crimes  that  had 
been  committed  centuries  ago,  he  dwelt  strong 
and  as  if  his  hull  heart  wuz  in  his  words  on  that 
terrible  national  crime  back  of  most  all  the 
other  sins  and  crimes  of  to-day.  That  stands 
a  huge  black  shape  blocking  up  the  world's 
progress,  that  we  ort  to  try  our  best  to  fight 
aginst,  and  how  we  had  a  Helper.  And  his 
idee  wuz  that  good  men,  clergymen  and  such, 
who  are  wont  to  stand  off  and  look  down  on  the 
battlefield,  ort  to  buckle  on  their  armor  and 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     177 

join  in  the  warfare.  And  he  said  that  if  some- 
times the  battle  smoke  hid  the  form  of  our 
great  High  Priest  and  Helper  we  mustn't  forgit 
that  He  wuz  there,  lookin*  on,  seeing  how  the 
battle  went  between  the  Right  and  the  Wrong, 
and  giving  His  help  towards  the  right  side  in 
His  own  good  time,  and  he  gin  us  to  understand 
that: 

All  the  blood  that  falls  in  righteous  cause, 
Each  crimson  drop  shall  nourish  snowy  flowers, 
And  quicken  golden  grain  bright  sheaves  of  good, 
That  under  happier  skies  shall  yet  be  reaped. 

"  For,"  sez  he: 

When  Right  opposes  Wrong,  shall  Evil  win? 
Nay,  never;   but  the  years  of  God  are  long. 

And  he  counseled  his  hearers  to  keep  on  and 
work  —  work  and  follow  the  leadin'  of  Him  who 
shall  conquer  all  sin  and  evil. 

It  wuz  a  grand  and  powerful  effort.  It 
wuzn't  so  flowery  as  IVe  hearn,  but  the  strength, 
the  pathos  of  it  wuz  wonderful.  I  didn't  wonder 
as  I  hearn  him  talk  of  what  Fd  been  told  that 
day  by  different  ones  of  how  people  flocked  to 
hear  him,  how  he  might  have  the  choice  of  big 
city  churches  with  big  salaries  according  but 
he  had  chosen  to  stay  by  the  common  people. 


178      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

Had  elected  that  he  would  not  have  wealth  and 
station,  that  he  would  go  about  tellin'  of  the 
love  of  God,  urgin'  men  to  accept  Him,  goin' 
about  doin'  good. 

As  we  listened  to  him,  everything  seemed 
possible,  the  right  seemed  possible  to  do,  it 
almost  seemed  as  if  we  felt  the  crown  restin' 
on  our  tired  foretops.  And  he  ended  the  ser- 
mon as  he  had  begun  it  with  a  few  words  from 
the  Book,  "Now  bretheren  quit  ye  like  men,  be 
steadfast,  strong  in  the  Lord  and  in  the  power 
of  His  might."  And  then  agin  he  breathed  out 
his  very  soul  in  prayer,  and  we  wuz  lifted  up 
some  distance  towards  the  Better  Country.  As 
he  ended  his  words  we  all  heaved  some  long 
sithes  and  seemed  to  fall  down  some  distance, 
and  found  ourselves  to  our  great  surprise  still 
on  the  old  earth. 

A  enthusiastick  little  woman,  who'd  shouted 
out,  "Amen!"  with  the  best  of  'em  sez  to  me, 
"Wasn't  that  sermon  a  grand  one?" 

"Yes,"  sez  I,  "it  come  right  from  his  heart, 
and  went  to  mine.  It  lifted  me  up  some  dis- 
tance above  the  earth,"  sez  I. 

"Yes,"  sez  she,  "the  Elder  is  one  of  the 
saints  on  earth,  but  we  are  afraid  he  hain't  long 
for  this  world." 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    179 

"Why?"  sezl. 

"He  don't  take  any  care  of  himself.  He  lives 
alone  with  an  old  housekeeper  who  is  dretful 
slack  and  don't  have  any  faculty,  and  he  don't 
have  things  for  his  comfort,  though  he  don't 
complain.  He  gits  no  end  of  money,  but  gives 
it  all  away,  or  it  is  wasted  to  home.  I  went  to 
his  house  once  on  business,  —  I  am  from  the 
West,"  sez  she,  —  "and  it  wuz  so  bare  and 
desolate  lookin'  that  I  almost  cried.  He  ort  to 
marry,"  sez  she,  "I  have  five  daughters  myself, 
and  three  onmarried  nieces  and  they  all  say  the 
same  thing,  that  he  ought  to  be  married  to  some 
woman  who  would  jest  worship  him,  for  no  woman 
could  help  it,  and  take  care  on  him.  For,"  sez 
she  with  a  shrewd  look,  "the  smartest  men  and 
the  most  spiritual  ones  are  the  most  helpless, 
come  to  things  of  this  world." 

"Yes,"  sez  I,  "our  minister  to  Jonesville 
could  no  more  make  a  mess  of  cream  biscuit 
than  he  could  fly.  He  is  great  on  the  Evidences, 
and  a  great  Bible  expounder,  but  he  couldn't 
sew  on  a  button  so  it  wouldn't  pucker  the  cloth, 
if  he  should  cry  like  a  babe." 

"No,"  sez  she,  "I  presume  not,  my  girls  are 
splendid  with  the  needle,  and  good  cooks,  and 
so  religious  —  it's  a  sight !  and  so  are  my  sister's 


180      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

three  girls,  though  they  don't  quite  come  up  to 
my  five/' 

Well,  there  wuz  a  stir  in  the  crowd.  The 
Elder  had  come  down  and  wuz  shakin'  hands 
right  and  left  with  them  that  crowded  up  to 
him.  The  little  woman  pressed  towards  him 
and  I  wuz  drawed  along  in  her  wake  by  the 
crowd,  some  as  a  stately  ship  is  swep'  on  by  a 
small  tug  and  the  flowin*  waves.  And  anon, 
after  shakm'  hands  with  her,  he  took  my  hand 
in  hisen.  A  emotion  swep'  through  me,  a  sort 
of  electric  current  that  connects  New  Jerusalem 
to  Jonesville  and  Zoar.  He  bent  his  full  sweet 
penetratin'  look  onto  me,  it  seemed  to  go  through 
my  head  clear  to  my  back  comb,  and  he  sez, 

"Have  I  met  you  before?" 

"Yes,"  sez  I,  "in  sperit,  we  have  met,  I 
want  to  thank  you  for  the  words  you  have  said 
this  day.  It  seems  to  me  I  shall  be  good  for 
some  time,  it  seems  that  I  must  after  hearin' 
your  discourse,  and  I  want  to  thank  you  for  it, 
thank  you  earnest  and  sincere." 

He  smiled  sort  o'  sad  and  yet  riz  up,  and  sez, 
"We  are  all  wayfarers  here  on  a  hard  journey, 
and  if  I  can  help  anyone  along  the  way,  it  is  I 
who  should  be  thankful,  and,"  sez  he,  "may 
God  bless  you,  sister!" 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     181 

And  he  passed  on. 

But  he  seemed  to  leave  a  wake  of  glory 
behind  him  as  he  went,  some  like  the  glow  on 
the  water  when  the  sun  walks  over  it,  a  warmin' 
life  givin'  influence  that  comes  from  a  big  soul 
filled  with  light  and  goodness.  I  seemed  to 
be  riz  up  above  the  earth  all  the  way  back  to 
the  hotel,  though  in  body  I  wuz  walkin'  afoot  by 
the  side  of  my  pardner.  He  too  wuz  enthused 
by  the  sermon  —  I  had  reconized  his  little 
treble  voice  shoutin'  out  "Amen!"  and  he 
said  now  that  it  wuz  grand,  powerful! 

"Yes,"  sez  I,  "and  good  and  holy  and 
tender!" 

"Yes  indeed!"  sez  he.  And  he  added, 
"Speakin'  of  tenderness,  I  do  hope  the  beef 
will  be  tenderer  than  it  wuz  yesterday.  I  don't 
believe  they  have  such  beef  to  Coney  Island." 


CHAPTER    ELEVEN 

In  which  we  return  home^  and  I 
perswaide  Josiah  to  build  a 
cottage  for  Tirzah  Ann 


CHAPTER    ELEVEN 

IN  WHICH  WE  RETURN  HOME,  AND  I  PER- 
SWAIDE  JOSIAH  TO  BUILD  A  COTTAGE  FOR 
TIRZAH  ANN 

THE  next  afternoon  Faith  started  on  her 
visit  to  her  aunt  beyend  Kingston. 
And  immegiately  after  her  departure, 
Josiah  said  he'd  got  to  go  home  right  away. 
Sez  he,  "It  hain't  right  to  leave  Ury  to  bear  all 
the  brunt  of  the  work  alone." 

Sez  I,  "Ury  has  got  over  the  hardest  of  the 
work,  and  writ  so." 

"Well,"  sez  he,  "I'm  a  deacon  and  I  can't  bear 
the  thought  of  religious  interests  languishin' 
for  my  help." 

Sez  I,  "Seven  folks  wuz  baptized  last  Sunday: 
the  meetin'  house  wuz  never  so  prosperous." 

And  then  he  went  on  and  said  political  ties 
wuz  drawin'  him,  and  he  brung  up  fatherly 
feelin's  for  the  children,  and  cuttin'  up  burdocks, 
and  buildin'  stun  walls,  and  etcetery.  But 
bein'  met  with  plain  Common  Sense  in  front 
of  all  these  things,  he   bust   out   at    last  with 

185 


1 86      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

the  true  reason:  "I  hain't  no  more  money  to 
spend  here,  and  I  tell  you  so,  Samantha,  and  I 
mean  it!' 

And  I  sez,  "Why  didn't  you  say  so  in  the  first 
place,  it  would  have  been  more  noble." 

And  he  said  a  man  didn't  care  much  about 
bein'  noble  when  they'd  got  down  to  their  last 
cent  (he's  got  plenty  of  money,  though  I 
wouldn't  want  it  told  on,  for  rich  folks  are 
always  imposed  upon,  and  charged  higher). 

Well,  suffice  it  to  say,  we  concluded  to  go 
home  the  next  day  and  did  so.  And  though  I 
felt  bad  to  leave  the  horsepitable  ruff  where 
I'd  enjoyed  so  much  kind  and  friendly  horspital- 
ity  yet  to  the  true  home  lover  there  are  always 
strong  onseen  ties  that  bind  the  heart  to  the 
old  hearth  stun,  and  they  always  seem  to  be 
drawin'  and  tuggin'  till  they  draw  one  clear 
back  to  the  aforesaid  stun  and  chimbly.  Josiah 
paid  for  our  two  boards  like  a  man,  and  we 
embarked  for  Clayton  and  from  thence  traveled 
by  cars  and  mair  to  our  beloved  home. 

And  right  here  let  me  dispute  another  wicked 
wrong  story,  we  never  had  to  pay  a  cent  for 
gittin'  offen  the  Thousand  Island  Park.  It  is 
a  base  fabrication  to  say  folks  have  to  pay  to 
git  out.     They  let  us  out  jest  as  free  and  easy  as 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     187 

anything,  and  I  thought  they  acted  kinder 
smilin'  and  good  feelin\  What  a  world  of  fibs 
and  falsehoods  we  are  livin'  in! 

We  got  home  in  time  for  supper  and  at  my 
companion's  request  I  took  off  the  parfenalia 
of  travel,  my  gray  alpacky,  and  havin'  enrobed 
myself  in  a  domestic  gingham  of  chocklate  color 
and  a  bib  apron,  I  proceeded  to  help  Philury  git 
a  good  supper.  The  neighbors  all  flocked  in  to 
see  us  and  congratulate  us  on  our  safe  return 
from  the  perils  and  temptations  of  worldly 
society.  And  Josiah  wuz  indeed  in  his  glory 
as  he  told  the  various  deacons  and  church 
pillows  that  gathered  round  him  from  time  to 
time,  of  all  his  fashionable  experiences  and 
dangerous  exploits  while  absent. 

Of  course  my  time  wuz  more  took  up  by  my 
female  friends,  but  anon  or  oftener  I  would 
ketch  the  sound  of  Aggers  in  connection  with 
fish  that  wuz  astoundin'  in  the  extreme.  But 
when  I  would  draw  nigh  the  subject  would  be 
turned  and  the  attention  of  the  pillows  would 
be  drawed  off  onto  yots,  summer  hotels,  Taber- 
nacles, etc.,  etc.  Well  such  is  life.  But  anon 
the  waves  of  excitement  floatin'  out  insensibly 
from  the  vortex  in  which  we  had  so  lately 
revolved  round  in,  gradually  abated  and  went 


1 88      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

down,  and  the  calm  placid  surface  of  life  in 
Jonesville  wuz  all  we  could  see  as  we  looked  out 
of  our  turret  winders  —  (metafor). 

Gradually  the  daily  excitement  of  seem'  the 
milk  cans  pass  morning  and  night,  and  the 
school  children  go  whoopin'  schoolward  and 
homeward,  wuz  the  most  highlarious  excitement 
participated  in.  A  few  calm  errents  of  borryin' 
tea  and  spice,  now  and  then  a  tin  peddler  and  a 
agent,  or  a  neighborhood  tea  drinkin',  wuz  all 
that  interrupted  our  days  serene. 

And  old  Miss  Time,  that  gray  headed  old 
weaver,  who  is  never  still,  but  sets  up  there  in 
that  ancient  loom  of  hern  a  weavin/  while  her 
pardner  is  away  mowin*  with  that  sharp  scythe 
of  hisen  from  mornin'  till  night,  and  from  night 
till  mornin',  jest  so  stiddy  did  she  keep  on 
weavin'.  Noiseless  and  calm  would  the  quiet 
days  pass  into  her  old  shuttle  (which  is  jest 
as  good  to-day  as  it  wuz  at  the  creation).  Silent 
days,  quiet  days,  in  a  broad  stripe,  not  glistenin' 
or  shiny,  but  considerable  good-lookin'  after  all. 
Then  anon  variegated  with  moon  lit  starry 
nights,  blue  skies,  golden  sunsets,  deep  dark, 
moonless  midnights,  all  shaded  off  into  soft 
shadders. 

And  then  givin'  way  to  a  stripe  of  hit  or  miss, 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    189 

restless  hours,  days  when  the  "  Fire  won't  burn 
the  stick  and  the  kid  refuses  to  go,"  small 
excitements,  frustrated  ambitions,  etc. 

Anon  a  broad  gray  stripe,  monotony,  deadly 
monotony,  and  lonesomeness,  gray  as  a  rat  both 
on  'em,  all  loosely  twisted  together  makin'  a 
wide  melancholy  stripe.  Then  a  more  flowery 
piece,  golden  moments,  mounts  of  soul  trans- 
figuration, full  understandin',  divine  hopes  and 
raptures,  heart  talks,  illuminations,  all  striped 
in  with  images  of  golden  rod,  evergreen  trees 
pintin'  up  into  the  friendly  blue  heavens,  that 
leaned  down  so  clost  you  could  almost  see  into 
the  Sweet  Beyond.  Singin'  rivulets,  soarin' 
birds,  green  fields,  rosy  clouds.  Anon  a  plain 
piece,  some  slazy,  as  the  shuttle  seemed  to  go 
slower  and  kinder  lazy,  and  then  agin  quick 
strong    beats    that    made    the    web    firm    as 

iron. 

Mebby  that  wuz  the  time  that  old  Mr.  Time 
hung  up  that  old  scythe  of  hisen  for  a  few 
minutes  on  the  top  bars  of  the  loom,  and  got  in 
and  footed  it  out  for  his  pardner  for  a  spell, 
while  she  rested  her  old  feet  or  wound  her  bob- 
bins for  another  stripe.  But  such  idees  are 
futile,  futiler  than  I  often  mean  to  be.  Tenny- 
rate  and  anyway  all  the  time,  all  the  time  the 


190      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

shuttles  moved  back  and  forth  to  and  fro,  and 
old  Miss  Time's  tapestry  widened  out. 

That  summer  my  pardner  had  a  oncommon 
good  streak  of  luck,  he  sold  two  colts  and  a 
yearlin'  heifer  for  a  price  that  fairly  stunted  us 
both,  it  wuz  so  big.  And  his  crops  turned  out 
dretful  well,  and  he  jest  laid  up  money  by  the 
handfuls  as  you  may  say.  And  one  day  we  wuz 
talkin'  about  what  extreme  good  luck  we'd  had 
for  the  past  year,  and  we  also  talked  considerable 
about  Tirzah  Ann  and  little  Delight,  and  how 
they  wuz  both  pimpin'  and  puny.  The  older 
children  away  to  school  wuz  doin'  first  rate 
both  in  health  and  studies,  but  Tirzah  Ann's 
health  wuz  such  that  Whitfield  had  to  keep  a 
girl  and  pay  doctor's  bills,  and  I  sez  to  Josiah: 

"I  am  sorry  for  'em  as  I  can  be,  and  if  this 
goes  on  much  longer  there  don't  seem  much 
chance  of  Whitfield's  buildin'  his  house  on 
Shadow  Island  this  summer." 

And  Josiah  sez,  "No  indeed!  if  he  can  pay  the 
doctor's  bills  and  help,  he  will  do  well.  But," 
sez  he,  "he  is  goin'  to  have  quite  a  good  job  up 
to  his  folkscs." 

His  uncle,  Jotham  Minkley,  who  is  forehanded 
and  a  ship  builder  up  in  Maine,  had  invited 
Whitfield   to   come   and   take   charge  of  some 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    191 

bizness  for  him,  and  he  said  he  must  bring 
Tirzah  Ann  and  Delight.  So  it  wuz  arranged 
that  they  wuz  goin'  to  stay  for  some  time.  We 
all  thought  the  change  would  do  Tirzah  Ann 
good,  and  then  Whitfield  had  been  promised 
good  pay  for  his  work.  And  then  wuz  the  time 
I  tackled  my  pardner  on  the  subject  I  had 
thought  over  so  long.  He  looked  so  sort  o' 
mournful  over  the  hard  times  Whitfield  wuz 
havin',  and  Tirzah  Ann's  and  Delight's  enjoy- 
ment of  poor  health,  that  I  thought  now  wuz  the 
appinted  time  for  me  to  onfold  this  subject  to 
him.  This  idee  wuz  that  while  Whitfield  and 
Tirzah  Ann  wuz  away  up  to  Maine  we  should 
build  a  pretty  little  house  for  'em  on  Shadow 
Island.  "For,"  sez  I,  "the  health  and  life  of 
Tirzah  Ann  and  Delight  may  hang  in  the  bal- 
ances, and  if  anything  will  help  'em  I  believe  that 
dear  old  Saint  Lawrence  will."  But  Josiah 
demurred  strongly  on  account  of  the  expense. 
In  fact  I  had  to  use  some  of  my  strongest  argu- 
ments to  convince  him  of  the  feasibility  of  my 
plans. 

One  of  my  arguments  wuz  that  in  all  prob- 
ability all  our  property  would  before  long  de- 
scend onto  the  children,  and  so  why  not  use  some 
now  for  'em,  while  they  wuz  sufferin'  for  the  use 


192      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

on't.  That  wuz  one  of  my  arguments,  and  my 
other  one  wuz,  that  he  couldn't  take  any  of  his 
property  with  him.  But  he  had  got  kinder  mad 
and  when  I  told  him  in  a  solemn  tone,  "Josiah 
Allen,  you  know  you  can't  take  any  of  your 
property  with  you  when  you  die/'  he  snapped 
out,  "I  don't  know  whether  I  can  or  not;  it 
won't  be  as  you  say  about  it." 

"Well,"  sez  I,  in  lofty  axents  and  quotin' 
Skripter,  "there  is  only  one  way  you  can  take 
your  property  with  you,  and  that  is  to  send  it 
on  before  you.  Make  friends  with  the  Mammon 
of  your  wealth  so  that  when  you  fail  here  it  may 
receive  you  into  a  everlastin'  habitation.  Turn 
it  into  angels  of  Gratitude  and  Love  that  may 
be  waitin'  to  welcome  you.  Do  good  with  your 
money.     Lend  to  the  Lord,"  sez  I. 

And  Josiah  wuz  so  pudgicky,  he  snapped  out, 
"I  didn't  know  as  the  Lord  wanted  to  bony 
any  money." 

But  I  gin  him  such  a  talkin'  to  that  I  brung 
him  to  a  sense  of  his  sinful  talk,  and  right  then 
while  he  wuz  conscience  smut  for  as  much  as 
seven  minutes,  I  brung  him  round  to  the  idee 
of  buildin'  the  house.  But  it  wuz  a  gradual 
bringin\ 

Of  course  he  begged  and  beseeched  to  build  it 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     193 

on  Coney  Island.  Sez  he,  "I  wouldn't  be- 
grech  the  money  but  spend  it  lavish,  if  the 
house  sot  there.  I  could  go  there  and  spend 
months  and  months  of  perfect  bliss,  and  learn 
more  there  in  one  day  than  I  could  in  years  in 
Jonesville." 

"Where  would  you  build  it?"  sez  I  in  frosty 

axents. 

"Well,  the  top  of  one  of  them  tall  mountains 
in  Luna  Park  Serenus  tells  on  would  be  a  good 
spot,  near  the  beautiful  waterfall  where  the 
boats  full  of  happy  Hilariors  dash  down  the 
steep  declivity  and  bound  way  off  onto  the 
water  and  sail  away.  The  view  would  be  so 
lively  and  inspirin',  it  would  be  equal  to  havin' 
a  brass  band  in  your  bedroom." 

"Yes,  jest  about  like  that,"  sez  I.  "Do  you 
know  what  them  mountains  are  made  of? 
They're  jest  about  as  solid  as  your  idees." 

"Well,  I  might  build  it  on  the  other  side  of 
Surf  Avenue,  nigh  that  long  line  of  dashin* 
horses  Serenus  depicters,  that  go  racin'  and 
cavortin'  round  and  round,  bearin'  the  gay  and 
happy  Hilariors  on  their  backs." 

"How  much  do  you  spoze  a  lot  would  cost 
there,  Josiah,  if  you  wuz  ravin'  crazy  enough 
to    want    it?     All    the    property    in    Jonesville 


i94      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

wouldn't  buy  a  spot  big  as  a  table  cloth,  and 
I  d'no  as  it  would  a  towel. " 

"Well,"  sez  he  real  sulky,  "I  can  let  my  mind 
dwell  on  it,  can't  I  ?     That  is  some  comfort." 

"I  wouldn't  think  on't  too  much,  you  don't 
want  to  tire  your  mind,  it  hain't  over  strong, 
you  know." 

It  beats  all  how  sometimes  when  you  are  doin' 
your  very  best  for  your  pardners,  they  don't  like 
it.     He  acted  huffy. 

But  at  last  it  wuz  settled,  Tirzah  Ann's  cottage 
wuz  to  be  begun  the  minute  they  left,  it  wuz 
to  be  kep  secret  from  'em,  and  we  wuz  to  have 
a  surprize  party  there,  to  welcome  'em  home. 
Well,  from  the  very  day  it  wuz  settled  begun  my 
trials  with  Josiah  Allen  about  the  plan.  My 
idee  wuz  to  employ  a  first  rate  architect,  but 
he  sez: 

"I  can  tell  you,  Mom,  if  that  plan  is  made  I 
shall  make  it.  There  hain't  an  architect  in  the 
country  that  could  begin  with  me  in  drawin'  up 
this  plan."  Oh  how  I  sithed  and  groaned  when 
I  see  his  sotness,  and  knowed  he  wuz  no  more  fit 
for  the  job  than  our  old  steer  to  give  music 
lessons  on  the  banjo. 

He  went  to  the  village  that  afternoon  and 
obtained  two  long  blank  books  (oh  that  they 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     195 

could  have  stayed  blank)  and  three  quires  of 
fool's  cap  paper  (well  named)  and  a  bottle  of 
red  ink  and  one  of  blue  ink,  besides  black,  and 
a  dozen  pencils  of  different  colors,  and  after 
these  elaborate  preparations  he  begun  drawin' 
up  his  plans. 

He  would  roll  up  his  sleeves,  moisten  his 
hands,  and  go  to  work  early  in  the  mornin',  and 
set  and  pour  over  'em  all  day,  every  stormy  day, 
and  every  night  he  sot  up  so  late  goin  over  'em 
that  he  most  underminded  his  health,  to  say 
nothin'  of  the  waste  of  my  temper  and  kerseen. 
And  then  he  would  call  in  uncle  Nate  Peedick 
and  they  would  bend  their  two  gray  bald  heads 
together  and  talk  about  "specifications"  and 
"elevations"  and  "ground  plans"  and  "suller 
plans"  till  my  head  seemed  to  turn  and  my 
brain  seemed  most  as  soft  as  theirn. 

And  sometimes  Serenus  Gowdey  would  be 
called  in  to  aid  in  their  deliberations,  though 
their  talk  always  led  off  onto  Coney  Island  and 
rested  there,  he  didn't  git  no  other  idees  out 
of  him.  Josiah  never  called  on  a  woman  for 
advice  and  counsel,  not  once,  though  a  woman 
stood  nigh  him  who  wuz  eminently  qualified 
to  pass  a  first  class  judgment  on  the  plan.  But 
no,  it  wuz  males  only  who  gin  him  their  deepest 


i96      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 


And  then  he  would  call  in  Uncle  Nate  Peedick  and  they 
would  bend  their  two  gray  bald  heads  and  talk  about 
specifications  and  elevations  till  my  brain  seemed  most 
as  soft  as  theirn."  ($"  Pa&  7^) 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    197 

thoughts  and  counsels.  Once  in  awhile  I  would 
ask  how  many  stories  he  wuz  layin'  out  to  have 
it,  and  how  big  it  wuz  goin'  to  be,  and  every 
time  I  asked  him  he  said: 

"Wimmen's  minds  wuz  too  weak  to  compre- 
hend his  views.  It  took  a  man's  mind  to  tackle 
such  a  subject  and  throw  it."  _ 

And  that  would  mad  me  so  that  it  would 
be  some  time  before  I  would  ask  him  agin,  and 
then  curosity  would  git  the  better  of  me  and 
I  would  ask  him  agin  sunthin'  about  it,  but  his 
reply  wuz  always  the  same:  f 

"Wimmen's  minds  wuz  too  weak  and  tottlin 
to  tackle  the  subject."  So  all  the  light  I  could 
git  wuz  to  hear  him  talk  it  over  with  some  man. 
I  see  that  there  wuz  a  great  difference  of  opinion 
between  'em.  Josiah,  true  father  of  T.rzan 
Ann,  seemed  anxious  mainly  to  unite  display 
and  cheapness.  Uncle  Nate  seemed  more  for 
solidity  and  comfort.     Sez  Josiah  to  him:    _ 

"It  is  my  idee  to  have  the  house  nz  up  jest 
as  high  as  the  timbers  will  stand,  the  main 
expense  anyway  is  the  foundation  and  floorin 
and  I  would  rise  up  story  after  story  all  orna- 
mented off  beautiful  and  cheap,  basswood 
sawed  off  in  pints  makes  beautiful  ornaments, 
and  what  a   show  it  would   make  round   the 


198      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

country,  and  what  air  you  could  git  up  in  the 
seventh  or  eight  story." 

So  he  would  go  on  and  argy,  regardless  of 
common  sense  or  Tirzah  Ann's  legs.  And  then 
Uncle  Nate  would  reply: 

"Josiah,  safety  lays  on  the  ground,  and  in 
this  climate  more  liable  each  year  to  tornadoes 
and  cyclones,  the  only  safety  lays  in  spreadin' 
out  on  the  ground.  Build  only  one  story," 
sez  he,  "and  a  low  one  at  that,  and  let  it  spread 
out  every  way  as  much  as  it  wants  to." 

"But,"  sez  Josiah,  "to  have  every  room  on 
the  bottom  would  take  up  all  the  lot  and  lap  over 
into  the  river." 

"Better  do  that,"  sez  Uncle  Nate,  "than  to 
have  your  children  and  grandchildren  blowed 
away.  Safety  is  better  than  sile,"  sez  he 
solemnly.  And  then  I  hearn  'em  talkin'  about 
a  travelin'  woodhouse.  Josiah  advoctated  the 
idee  of  havin'  the  woodhouse  made  in  the  form 
of  a  boat,  only  boarded  up  like  a  house,  and  have 
big  oars  fixed  onto  the  sides  on't  so's  it  could  be 
used  as  a  boat,  and  a  house.     Sez  he: 

"How  handy  it  would  be  to  jest  onmoor  the 
woodhouse  and  row  over  to  the  main  land  and 
git  the  year's  stock  of  wood,  and  then  row  back 
agin,  cast  anchor  and  hitch  it  onto  the  house 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     199 

agin."  But  Uncle  Nate  demurred.  He  thought 
the  expense  would  be  more  than  the  worth  of 
usin'  it  once  a  year. 

"Once  a  year!"  sez  Josiah.  "You  forgit  how 
much  kindlin'  wood  a  woman  uses."  Sez  he, 
"When  she  that  wuz  Arvilly  Nash  worked  here 
I  believe  we  used  a  woodhouse  full  a  day.  If  we 
had  a  floatin'  woodhouse  here,  we  should  had 
to  embark  on  it  once  a  day  at  least  and  load  it 
up  with  shavin's  and  kindlin'  wood.  Samantha 
is  more  eqinomical,"  sez  he. 

"But,"  sez  Uncle  Nate,  "I  hearn  that  Whit- 
field's folks  wuz  layin'  out  to  use  a  coal  oil 
stove  durin'  the  summer." 

Josiah's  face  fell.     "So  they  be,"  sez  he. 

But  he  wuz  loath  to  give  up  this  floatin' 
woodhouse  and  went  on: 

"How  handy  it  would  be  for  a  picnic,  jest  fill 
the  woodhouse  full  of  Highlariers  and  set  off, 
baskets,  bundles  and  all.  It  would  do  away  with 
parasols;  no  jabbin'  'em  into  a  man's  eyes,  or 
proddin'  his  ears  with  the  pints  of  umbrells. 
Or  on  funeral  occasions,"  sez  he,  "jest  load  the 
mourners  right  in,  onhitch  the  room  and  sail  off. 
Why  it  would  be  invaluable." 

But  Uncle  Nate  wuz  more  conservative  and 
cautious.     He   sez,    "What   if  it   should   break 


200        SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

loose  in  the  night  and  start  off  by  itself?  It 
would  be  a  danger  to  the  hull  river.  How  would 
boats  feel  to  meet  a  woodhouse?  It  would 
jam  right  into  'em  and  sink  'em  —  sunk  by  a 
woodhouse!  It  wouldn't  sound  well.  And  row 
boats  would  always  be  afraid  of  it,  they'd  be 
thinkin'  it  would  be  liable  to  come  onto  'em  at 
any  time  onbeknown  to  'em,  'twouldn't  have  no 
whistle  or  anything." 

"Yes  it  would,"  sez  Josiah  hautily;  "I  laid 
out  to  fix  it  somehow  with  a  whistle." 

"But  it  couldn't  whistle  itself  if  it  sot  off 
alone." 

"Well,"  sez  Josiah,  scratchin'  his  head,  "I 
hain't  got  that  idee  quite  perfected,  but  I 
might  have  a  self  actin'  whistle,  a  stationary 
self  movin'  gong,  or  sunthin'  of  that  kind." 
But  I  didn't  wait  to  hear  any  more;  I  left  the 
room,  and  I  shouldn't  wonder  if  I  shet  the  door 
pretty  hard. 


CHAPTER   TWELVE 

In  which  yosiah  still  works  at 
his  plan  for  Tirzah  Ann* s 
cottage j  and  decides  to  send  his 
lumber  C.  O.  Wl 


CHAPTER   TWELVE 

IN  WHICH  JOSIAH  STILL  WORKS  AT  HIS 
PLAN  FOR  TIRZAH  ANN'S  COTTAGE,  AND 
DECIDES   TO    SEND  HIS    LUMBER  C.  0.   W. 

WALL  the  next  evenin',  Josiah  would 
make  the  plan  all  over,  would  rub 
out  red  marks  and  put  in  blue  ones, 
and  then  rub  'em  out  with  his  thumb  and  fore 
finger,  and  then  anon,  forgittin'  himself,  he'd 
rub  his  forward  with  the  same  fingers,  till  he 
looked  like  a  wild  Injun  started  for  war.  And 
he  would  sithe  heart  breakin'  sithes,  and  moisten 
his  hands  in  his  mouth,  and  roll  up  his  shirt 
sleeves,  and  toil  and  toil  till  he  seemed  to  git 
a  new  plan  made  after  Uncle  Nate's  idees,  as 
squatty  and  curous  lookin'  as  I  ever  see  as  I 
glanced  at  it  in  a  cursory  way.  And  he  would 
work  at  that  till  some  new  man  come  round 
with  some  new  idee  and  then  he  would  (goin' 
through  with  all  the  motions  and  acts  I  have 
depictered)  make  a  new  one.  And  so  it  went  on 
till  finally  in  the  fullness  of  time  Josiah  produced 

203 


2o4      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

a  dockument  which  he  said  wuz  the  finest  plan 
ever  drawed  up  in  America. 

Sez  he,  "I  have  at  last  reached  perfection. " 

"I  spoze  you'll  let  me  see  it  now  it  is  finished, " 
I  sez. 

"Yes,"  sez  he,  "I've  always  been  willin'  to 
give  you  all  the  chances  I  could  of  improvin'  and 
enlargin'  your  mind,  all  that  a  woman's  mind  is 
strong  enough  to  bear.  I  am  willin',  Samantha, 
that  you  should  look  at  it  and  admire  it,  now  it 
is  too  late  for  you  to  advocate  any  changes." 

Sez  I  coldly,  "If  I  am  goin'  to  see  the  plan, 
bring  it  on." 

He  laid  it  before  me  with  a  hauty  linement 
and  stood  off  a  few  steps  to  admire  it.  It  wuz 
drawed  up  handsome,  with  little  ornaments  in 
blue  and  yeller  ink  runnin'  all  round  the  porticos 
and  piazzas,  which  wuz  in  red  ink.  But  on  a 
closer  perusal  I  sez  to  him: 

"What  room  is  this  where  the  walls  and  ceilin' 
are  all  ornamented  off  so?" 

"The  settin'  room,"  sez  he. 

Sez  I,  "Where  are  the  winders?" 

"The  winders?"  sez  he,  lookin'  closter  at  it. 

"Yes,"  sez  I,  "as  the  ornaments  are  all 
fastened  on  now  there  hain't  no  winders  and 
no  room  for  any." 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    205 

"By  thunder  !"  sez  he,  the  second  time  in 
my  life  that  I  ever  hearn  him  use  that  wicked 
swear  word. 

And  I  sez,  "I  should  think  you  would  be 
afraid  to  be  so  profane,  you  a  deacon  and  a 
grandfather!" 

But  he  paid  no  attention  to  my  remarks, 
but  sez  agin  out  loud  and  strong,  "By  thunder! 
I  forgot  the  winders." 

"You  profane  man  you!"  sez  I,  pin  tin'  to 
another  room,  "what  room  is  this?" 

Sez  he  in  a  lower  and  more  mortified  tone, 
"It  is  the  parlor." 

Sez  I,  "How  be  you  goin'  to  git  out  of  this 
room  if  you  wuz  built  into  it?  There  hain't 
no  door  nor  no  place  for  one.  You  couldn't 
git  out  of  the  room  unless  you  climbed  up 
through  the  chimbly  and  emerged  onto  the  ruff, 
and,"  sez  I,  "there  hain't  a  sign  of  a  stairway 
to  git  up  into  the  chambers,  nor  no  chamber 
doors." 

But  all  the  answer  my  pardner  made  wuz  to 
snatch  up  the  paper  and  tear  it  right  through 
the  middle,  and  sez  he,  "There,  I  hope  you're 
satisfied  now!   it  is  all  your  doin's!" 

Sez  I,  "How,  Josiah?"  I  spoke  with  calmness, 
for  a  long  life  passed  by  the  side  of  a  man  had 


206      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

taught  me  this  great  truth,  that  every  man 
from  Adam  to  Josiah  will  blame  a  woman  for 
every  mistake  and  blunder  they  make,  no  matter 
of  what  name  or  nater,  from  bringin'  sin  into 
the  world,  to  bustin'  off  a  shirt  button. 

So  I  sez  with  composure,  "How  did  I  do  it, 
Josiah?" 

"Well,"  sez  he,  "the  day  I  finished  that  plan 
you  had  company,  and  you  and  Miss  Gowdey 
and  she  that  wuz  Submit  Tewksbury  kep'  up 
such  a  confounded  clackin'  that  a  man  couldn't 
hear  himself  think!" 

Sez  I,  "Josiah,  you  finished  the  plan  the  next 
day." 

"Well,"  sez  he,  "I  kep'  thinkin'  of  the  clack. 
Now,"  sez  he,  "I'm  goin'  to  build  a  house  by 
rote  and  not  by  note.  I  will  git  me  away 
from  wimmen,  and  when  I'm  on  the  lot  with 
the  timber  before  me,  my  mind  will  work  clear." 

Sez  I,  "Do  hear  to  me  now;  do  git  a  good 
builder  to  lay  out  the  plan,  one  that  knows 
how." 

"Well,  I  shan't  do  no  such  thing!" 

Sez  I,  "Then  do  git  a  first  rate  carpenter!" 

"No,  Samantha,  I  shan't  git  any  man  to  be 
bossin'  me  round.  I  shall  git  some  humble  man 
that  knows  enough  to  drive  a  nail,  to  carry  out  my 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    207 

views  and  be  guided  by  me.  There  is  so  much 
jealousy  in  every  walk  of  life  now,  that  when  a 
man  that  shows  originality  and  genius  comes 
forth  from  the  masses,  there  is  immegiately  a 
desire  to  keep  him  back  and  hide  his  talents. " 
Sez  he,  "I'm  afraid  of  this  sperit  so  I  am  goin' 
to  git  a  man  that  can  do  what  I  tell  him  and 
ask  no  questions;  in  these  conditions,"  "sez  he, 
"I  can  swing  right  out  and  do  justice  to  myself." 

"Then  you  do  have  some  few  fears  about 
your  plans  yourself?" 

Sez  he,  "Let  me  once  git  into  a  place  where 
my  mind  can  work,  I'll  show  what  I  can  do,  let 
me  once  git  away  from  meddlin'  and  clack." 

But  that  night  of  his  own  accord  (I'd  had  a 
uncommon  good  supper)  he  acted  real  affection- 
ate and  more  confidentialer  than  he  had  for 
weeks,  an'  he  sez,  "There  is  one  thing,  Saman- 
tha,  I'm  bound  to  have,  and  that  is  a  mullin' 
winder." 

"A  what?"  sez  I.  "A  mullin  winder;  what  is 
that?" 

"Why  a  winder  made  out  of  mullins,"  sez  he 
hautily. 

Sez  I,  "How  do  you  make  it?  Mullin  leaves 
are  thick  and  the  stalks  tougher  than  fury,  how 
do  you  make  winders  out  of  'em?" 


208      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

"That,"  sez  he  proudly,  "is  the  work  of  a 
architect  to  take  stalks  of  the  humble  mullin 
and  transfer  it  into  a  tall  and  stately  winder." 

Sez  I,  "I  don't  believe  it  can  be  done.  How 
would  you  go  to  work  to  do  it?" 

Sez  he,  "It  would  be  fur  from  me,  Samantha, 
to  muddle  up  a  woman's  brains  any  more  than 
they  be  muddled  naturally,  tryin'  to  inform 
her  how  this  is  done.  I  only  say  there  will  be 
a  mullin'  winder  in  the  house." 

Sez  I,  "Hain't  you  goin'  to  have  a  bay 
winder? " 

"That  depends  on  whether  there  will  be  room 
for  the  bay.  But  as  to  the  ventilation,  on  that 
pint  my  plans  are  made.  I  believe  a  house 
should  be  ventilated  to  the  bottom  instead  of 
the  top.  Air  goes  up  instead  of  down,  a  house 
should  be  ventilated  from  the  mop  boards,  I 
think  some  of  havin'  em  open  like  a  trap  door 
to  let  the  air  through.  Sime  Bentley  sez  have  a 
row  of  holes  bored  right  through  the  sides  of 
the  house  to  let  in  the  air,  and  when  you  didn't 
want  to  use  'em  plug  'em  up,  when  you  want  a 
little  air  take  out  one  stopple,  when  you  want 
a  good  deal  take  out  a  hull  row  of  plugs.  That's 
a  good  idee,"  sez  Josiah,  "but  I  convinced  him 
that   it   lacked   one   important    thing,    the    air 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    209 

didn't  come  up  from  the  bottom  as  I  consider 
it  necessary  for  health  and  perfect  ventilation. " 

Sez  I  dryly,  "You  might  have  the  holes  bored 
through  into  the  suller!"  My  tone  wuz  as  irony 
as  a  iron  tea-kettle,  but  he  didn't  perceive  it. 

"That  is  a  woman's  idee,"  sez  he,  "rip  up  a 
breadth  of  carpet  every  time  you  want  a  little 
air,  keep  a  man  down  on  his  knee  jints  the  hull 
of  the  time  tackin'  down  carpets  and  ontackin' 
'em.  Nothin'  ever  made  a  woman  so  happy  as 
to  see  a  man  down  on  his  marrer  bones  tackin' 
down  a  carpet,  unless  it  is  seein'  him  takin'  it 
up  and  luggin'  it  outdoors,  histin'  it  up  on  a  line 
and  beatin'  it.  No,  my  idee  is  the  only  right 
one,  ventilate  from  the  mop  boards." 

Well,  true  to  his  hauty  resolution  to  not  share 
his  grand  success  and  triumph  with  anybody 
he  went  the  next  day  and  hired  a  man  by  the 
name  of  Penstock.  He  had  been  a  good  car- 
penter in  his  day,  but  his  brain  had  kinder 
softened,  yet  he  could  work  quite  fast,  and  sez 
Josiah: 

"He's  jest  the  man  for  me.  He  won't  be 
jealous,  he  will  carry  out  my  views  and  not 
steal  my  plans  or  my  credit.  There  is  a  lumber 
dealer  out  to  the  Cape  owin'  me  for  a  horse, 
and  I  propose  to  buy  of  him  and  have  the  things 


210      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

landed  at  Shadow  Island."  Sez  he,  "I  am  a 
solid  influential  man,  and  they  will  send  the 
boards  and  charge  'em  to  me,  or  send  'em 
C.  O.  W." 

"C.  O.  W.?"  sez  I.  "What  do  you  mean  by 
that?" 

"Oh,"  sez  he,  "that's  a  bizness  phrase  wim- 
men  don't  understand,  we  men  use  it  often." 

"But  what  duz  it  mean?  Most  things  mean 
sunthin',  at  least  they  do  in  wimmen's  bizness." 

"Well,  I  don't  want  to  muddle  up  your  head 
with  such  things,  Samantha,  but  if  you  must 
know,  it  means  Collect  All  Winter,  meanin'  that 
I  can  have  till  spring  to  pay  it  up." 

"How  do  you  spell  all?"  sez  I. 

"Why  o-w-1  of  course." 

And  I  sez,  "With  wimmen  that  spells  owl,  a 
bird  that  pertends  to  great  wisdom  but  don't 
know  anything.  Send  your  things  C.  O.  W.  by 
all  means ! "  sez  I  wore  out.  "  Send  'em  along  and 
spell  your  all,  o-w-1. 1  think  it  is  a  highly  figura- 
tive and  appropriate  expression." 

"Well,  that  is  what  I  thought  you  would  say 
as  fur  as  you  could  see  into  it,"  sez  he  hautily, 
and  in  the  same  axent  he  asked  me  if  I  had 
packed  up  a  extra  pair  of  socks  for  him. 


CHAPTER   THIRTEEN 

In  which  yosiah  and  Serenus 
depart  sarahuptishusly  for 
Coney  Island  and  I  start  in 
pursuit 


CHAPTER   THIRTEEN 

IN  WHICH  JOSIAH  AND  SERENUS  DEPART 
SARAHUPTISHUSLY  FOR  CONEY  ISLAND 
AND  I  START  IN  PURSUIT 

THAT  afternoon  I  see  Josiah  and  Serenus 
leanin'  on  the  barnyard  fence  talkin' 
dretful  earnest,  I  spozed  about  the 
Plan.  But  when  I  went  to  put  my  milk  pans  in 
the  sun  I  hearn  the  same  old  story  Coney  Island! 
Dreamland!  Luny!  Bowery!  etc.,  and  I  hurried 
into  the  house.  When  Josiah  come  in  he  sez, 
"I  guess  I'll  invite  Serenus  to  go  with  me." 

Sez  I,  "  Why  should  you  invite  him  to  go  to 
Shadow  Island?" 

"Oh  he's  got  such  good  judgment,"  sez  he. 

I   felt  dubersome,   but   bein'   so  mellered   in 

sperit  by  his  consentin'  to  build  the  cottage  I 

didn't  stand  out.     And  they  started  the  next 

mornin'  at  sunrise  for  Shadow  Island  as  I  spozed. 

Till  the  next  day  but  one  Miss  Gowdey  come 

over  to  bony   a  drawin'  of  tea   and   she   sez, 

"Serenus  and  Josiah  are  havin'  a  gay  time  at 

213 


214      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

Coney    Island.      I've    jest    had    a    card    from 
Serenus." 

You  could  have  knocked  me  down  with  a 
pin  feather.  But  so  powerful  is  my  mind,  though 
it  seemed  to  roll  to  and  fro  under  my  fore-top 
and  my  knees  wobbled  under  me,  I  did  up  the 
tea  with  marble  composure  and  a  piece  of  paper, 
and  she  sot  off  with  it,  and  then  I  fell  into  a 
rockin'  chair  with  almost  frenzied  foreboding. 
What!  what  wuz  Josiah  Allen  doin'  in  that  place 
of  folly  and  fashion?  Could  he  keep  his  inno- 
cence amidst  the  awful  temptations?  I'd  hearn 
there  wuz  places  there  where  folks  stood  on 
their  heads;  wuz  his  brain  strong  enough  to 
stand  the  jolt? 

Spozein'  them  iron  horses  should  kick  him 
over?  Spozein'  he  got  wrecked  on  the  Immoral 
railway?  Or  went  up  on  the  Awful  Tower  and 
fell  off?  Spozein'  the  elephants  should  tread 
on  him?  Or  the  boyconstructors  or  tigers  git 
after  him?  Or  he  should  go  to  the  moon  and 
git  lost  there  and  be  obleeged  to  stay?  Oh  the 
wild  fears  that  raced  through  my  fore-top; 
mebby  they  wuzn't  reasonable  but  they  gored 
me  jest  the  same.  What  must  I,  what  could 
I  do?     I  couldn't  tell. 

But  all  of  a  sudden  I  thought  of  what  Serenus 


AXD  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS 


21 


Serenus  and  Josiah  are  bavin'  a  gay  time  at  Co 
Island.  Vve  jest  had  a  card  from  Serenus?  sez  Miss 
Gozvdey.  You  could  have  knocked  me  down  with  a 
*™f'**<r"  {See  page  2i4) 


216      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

said  about  a  woman  twice  my  size  dressed  in 
gaudy  red,  forever  takin'  after  folks  —  What 
would  Josiah  do  if  she  took  after  him  ?  And  no 
doubt  she  would,  for  looked  at  through  the 
magnifying  lens  of  Absence  and  Anxiety  he 
looked  passingly  beautiful.  As  I  thought  of 
her  I  knowed  what  I  would  do.  Sez  I,  "  I  will 
go  and  tear  him  away  and  bring  him  back  to 
duty  and  his  mournin'  pardner." 

But  how  could  I  go,  wuz  my  next  thought? 
How  dast  I  venter  there  alone?  I  lacked  both 
courage  and  a  summer  suit.  But  when  did 
Samantha  ever  fail  to  lay  holt  of  Duty's  apron 
strings  when  they  dangled  in  front  of  her? 
Better  go  clothed  in  a  righteous  purpose  and  a 
old  parmetty  than  in  the  richest  new  alpacky 
and  a  craven  sperit. 

I  knowed  that  if  I  had  wanted  a  hobble 
skirt  or  a  hayrem,  or  a  hip  cosset  there  wuz  no 
time  to  git  'em.  But  Heaven  knows  I  didn't 
want  'em,  treasurin'  as  I  did  the  power  to  walk 
and  breathe.  Suffice  it  to  say  the  next  mornin' 
the  risin'  sun  gilded  my  brown  straw  bunnet 
and  umbrell  as  I  descended  from  the  car  at  the 
Grand  Central. 

Havin'  walked  round  and  round,  and  through 
and  through  that  immense  depo,  huffin'  it  from 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    217 

as  fur  as  from  our  house  to  Jonesville,  gittin' 
lost  time  and  agin,  and  bein'  found  and  sot 
right  by  onlookers  and  bystanders,  in  the  fullness 
of  time  I  emerged  out  on't  with  a  deep  sithe  of 
relief. 

Believin'  as  I  do  that  the  great  beneficent 
Power  that  fills  the  ether  about  us,  will  bring  us 
the  help  our  sperit  desires  if  we  ask  for  it,  it 
didn't  surprise  me  that  almost  the  first  man  I 
met  after  I  left  the  press  and  turmoil  of  the 
throng,  wuz  Deacon  Gansy,  who  moved  from 
Jonesville  and  is  now  runnin'  a  provision  store 
in  New  York. 

I  inquired  for  my  cousin  Bildad  Smith  of 
Coney  Island  and  told  him  I  wuz  goin'  there. 
Sez  I,  "You  know  Bildad's  wife  is  runnin' 
down."  Which  wuzn't  a  lie,  but  on  the  very 
edge  on't,  for  what  did  I  care  for  her  enjoyment 
of  poor  health?  And  he  said  he  wuz  goin' 
down  there  in  his  delivery  auto  to  carry  'em 
some  fresh  butter  and  eggs  and  he  would  take 
me.  I  thought  it  wuzn't  a  chance  to  refuse. 
Bildad  runs  a  eatin'  house  on  Coney  Island. 

So  I  sot  off  with  Deacon  Gansy,  and  after 
goin'  through  Chaos  and  Destruction  on  lower 
New  York  streets,  and  Wiliamsburg  bridge, 
and  acrost  it,  for  all  the  folks  in  New  York  and 


218      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

Brooklyn  wuz  there  that  day  —  and  after  pass- 
in'  through  crowded,  hustlin',  bustlin'  streets, 
we  found  ourselves  anon  on  the  broad  beautiful 
Ocean  Avenue  smooth  as  glass  and  as  broad 
as  from  our  house  to  hern  that  was  Submit 
Tewksbury's  and  I  guess  wider.  Bordered  on 
each  side  with  four  rows  of  noble  trees  with 
paths  between  'em.  The  deacon  said  there  wuz 
over  'leven  thousand  trees  along  that  avenue, 
and  I  didn't  dispute  him. 

He  got  real  talkative  and  kinder  bragged  on 
how  much  money  he  wuz  makin',  said  he'd 
bought  a  place  up  in  Harlem,  and  sez  he,  "I've 
get  another  auto  for  pleasure  drivin'." 

Sezl,"/.r  it  pleasure  to  drive  a  car  through  such 
crowded  places  as  we've  been  through  to-day?" 

And  he  said  it  wuz,  if  folks  wouldn't  act 
mean.  Sez  he,  "Last  Sunday  I  took  my  wife 
out  in  the  country  and  a  old  man  in  a  buggy 
kep'  right  in  front  of  me  and  wouldn't  turn  out, 
and  I  had  to  squeeze  through  between  him  and 
the  ditch." 

"Did  you  git  through  safe?"  sez  I. 

"Yes,  I  did,  but  I  had  to  bend  my  mud 
guard  right  up  agin  his  hoss's  side  and  scraped 
the  skin  raw,  and  raked  its  collar  off." 

"What  did  the  old  man  say?"  sez  I. 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    219 

"I  never  heard  such  language  out  of  the 
mouth  of  man,  and  of  course  as  a  deacon  I 
couldn't  listen  to  such  profanity,  so  I  hurried 
right  away/' 

"Hadn't  you  ort  to  return  the  hoss  collar, 
Deacon?" 

"Oh  no,  I  couldn't"  stop  to  listen  to  such 
wicked  talk." 

That  wuz  jest  like  deacon  Gansy;  he  thought 
he  wuz  awful  religious  but  I  always  felt  duber- 
some  about  it. 

But  on  we  went  through  the  matchless  beauty 
of  the  drive.  And  anon  we  ketched  a  view  of 
the  blue  tostin'  waves  of  the  Atlantic,  the  air 
jest  as  fresh  and  invigoratin'  as  when  it  blowed 
unto  Columbuses  weary  fore-top  when  he  dis- 
covered us.  And  like  his  dantless  cry  to  his 
fearful  pilot,  so  my  soul  echoed  the  same  cry 
to  my  deprestin'  fears: 

"Sail  on,  and  on,  and  on,"  to  the  goal  of  our 
own  desires.  Our  two  quests  wuz  some  differ- 
ent, he  wuz  seekin'  a  new  continent  and  I  an 
old  Josiah.  But  I  knowed  the  Atlantic  breezes 
never  blowed  on  two  more  determined  and 
noble  linements  than  hisen  and  mine.  And  I  felt 
that  we  would  have  been  real  congenial  if  he 
hadn't  died  too  soon,  or  I  been  born  too  late. 


CHAPTER    FOURTEEN 

The  curious  sights  I  seen  an*  the 
hair-raisin*  episodes  I   under- 
went   in    my    agoniziri*   search 
for  my  pardner 


CHAPTER    FOURTEEN 

THE  CURIOUS  SIGHTS  I  SEEN  AN'  THE  HAIR- 
RAISIN'  EPISODES  I  UNDERWENT  IN  MY 
AGONIZIN'  SEARCH  FOR  MY  PARDNER 

BILDAD'S  folks  wuz  glad  to  see  me.  They 
visited  us  jest  before  they  moved  there, 
so  I  felt  free.  But  not  one  word  did  I 
say  about  my  quest  for  Josiah.  No,  such  is 
woman's  deathless  devotion  to  the  man  she 
loves,  I'd  ruther  face  the  imputation  of  frivolity 
and  friskiness,  and  I  spoze  they  think  to  this  day 
I  went  to  Coney  Island  out  of  curosity  and 
Pleasure  Huntin',  instead  of  the  lofty  motives 
that  actuated  me.  I  knowed  Bildad's  wife  wuz 
most  bedrid  so  I  would  be  free  to  conduct  my 
search  with  no  gossip  or  slurs  onto  Josiah. 

And  another  reason  for  goin'  there :  I  knowed 
the  savin'  sperit  of  my  pardner,  and  I  thought 
he  would  ruther  git  a  free  meal  than  to  keep 
his  incognito  incog.  And  sure  enough  Bildad's 
first  words  wuz,  "Why  didn't  you  come  with 
Josiah   yesterday?     He   wuz   here    to   dinner." 

"Where  is  he  now?"  sez  I. 
223 


224      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

Sez  Bildad,  "The  last  time  I  see  him  he  wuz 
startin'  to  take  a  trip  to  the  Moon." 

Oh  what  a  shock  that  wuz,  Josiah  goin'  to 
the  moon;  and  yet  even  as  he  spoke  I  felt  a 
relief,  knowin'  man's  fickle  nater,  that  the  only 
inhabitant  I  ever  hearn  on  in  the  moon  wuz  an 
old  man  instead  of  a  woman.  For  few  indeed 
are  the  men  that  will  stand  without  hitchin/ 
and  as  for  girl  blinders,  they  won't  wear  'em, 
much  as  they  need  'em  from  the  cradle  to  the 
grave. 

"When  wuz  he  layin'  out  to  return?"  sez  I 
in  a  tremblin'  voice. 

"Oh  they  take  trips  there  every  half  hour." 

Thinks  I,  to-day  I  go  there  myself,  and  Josiah 
Allen  will  come  down  to  earth  agin'  if  I  know 
myself.  But  not  one  word  did  I  say  to  demean 
my  pardner.  Breakfast  wuz  ready  and  I  sot 
down.  But  my  emotions  filled  me  up.  I 
couldn't  seem  to  have  any  place  for  meat  vit- 
tles,  I  couldn't  eat  anything  but  some  bread  and 
butter  and  a  glass  of  milk.  A  female  settin'  by 
me  sez,  "You're  not  goin'  to  eat  loose  milk, 
are  you?" 

"Loose!"  sez  I,  "Why  should  milk  be  tied 
up?     I  never  wuz  afraid  on't." 

"I  mean  milk  that  hain't  bottled,"  sez  she. 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    225 

"I  wouldn't  eat  loose  milk  for  the  world." 
And  she  being  enthusiastick  gin  a  long  eulogy 
of  the  good  men  who  wuz  tryin'  to  save  poor 
babies  by  givin'  'em  pure  milk,  and  she  talked 
bitter  about  the  men  who  opposed  the  idee  for 
fear  it  would  pauperize  the  babies. 

And  I  told  her  it  wouldn't  make  much  differ- 
ence with  the  babies  pizened  by  microby  milk 
whether  they  died  pauperized  or  onpauperized. 

Well,  I  didn't  know  whether  the  milk  wuz 
loose  or  tight,  but  I  eat  it  rapidly,  so's  to  begin 
my  hunt.  I'd  slep'  some  on  the  cars,  and  when 
I  had  changed  my  parmetty  waist  for  a  brown 
gingham  shirt  waist,  and  washed  my  face,  and 
brushed  back  my  hair,  I  wuz  ready  to  start. 
The  room  they  gin  me  wuz  so  small  I  thought  I 
would  have  to  go  out  in  the  hall  to  change  my 
mind.  But  I  did  manage  to  change  my  waist. 
Bildad's  old  colored  woman  wuz  singin'  as  she 
made  the  bed  in  the  next  room  that  old  him 
"  Pull  for  the  Shore."     She  sung : 

"  Pull  for  the  shore,  brother, 
Pull  for  the  shore, 
Heed  not  the  rollin'  pins, 
Bend  to  the  oar  — 

Leave  the  poor  old  straddled  wreck 
And  pull  for  the  shore." 


226      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

She  didn't  git  the  words  right,  but  her  voice 
wuz  melogious,  and  as  I  listened  my  soul  paro- 
died the  words  to  suit  my  needs.  Yes,  I  felt 
that  I  must  "bend  to  the  oar"  of  my  purpose, 
I  must  not  "heed  the  rollin'  waves"  of  weari- 
ness and  anxiety,  must  leave  "the  poor  old 
stranded  wreck"  of  my  domestic  happiness  and 
security  and  pull  for  Josiah. 

Luny  Park  wuz  only  a  few  steps  from  Bildad's 
and  anon  I  stood  before  what  seemed  to  be  a 
great  city,  gorgeous  below  and  way  up  above  the 
thronged  streets  and  mountains  and  flower- 
decked  declivities,  endless  white  towers  riz  up 
as  if  callin'  attention  to  'em.  And  I  didn't 
know  but  the  place  had  been  lied  about,  and  I 
asked  a  bystander  if  any  of  'em  wuz  meetin' 
house  steeples. 

He  laughed  in  derision  at  me,  and  I  passed  on 
and  come  to  a  lot  of  girls  dressed  up  in  red,  and 
settin'  in  chariots  like  them  old  Roman  females 
used  to  go  to  war  in.  I  asked  one  on  'em  if 
she  wuz  layin'  out  to  go  to  Mexico,  and  she 
replied  "Ten  cents,"  and  shoved  out  a  piece  of 
paper  to  me. 

I  see  she  wuz  luny  as  the  park,  but  didn't 
argy,  and  passed  on  furder  when  a  man  out  of 
a  row  of  great  tall  men  dressed  in  red,  took  the 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      227 


"I   stood  before  what  seemed  to  be  a  great  city.     Endless 
white  towers  riz  up  as  if  caUirC  attention  to  'em" 

(See  page  226) 


228      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

piece  of  paper  from  me.  He  took  it  right  out 
of  my  hand,  and  if  there  is  anything  wrong 
goin'  on  between  him  and  the  girl  that  gin  it  to 
me  I  hain't  to  blame,  and  want  it  understood 
that  I  hain't. 

Anon  I  see  a  dancin'  pavilion  big  enough  for 
all  the  folks  in  Jonesville  and  Zoar  to  dance  in 
at  one  time.  But  I  never  thought  of  dancin' 
or  two-steppin'  myself,  though  the  music  wuz 
enticin'  to  them  easy  enticed.  But  knowin' 
the  infinite  variety  of  fads  my  pardner  had 
indulged  in,  I  cast  some  searchin'  glances  at  the 
dancers  and  two-steppers  as  I  went  past,  but  to 
my  relief  I  see  that  he  wuz  not  among  'em. 

On  the  left  side,  as  I  strolled  along,  I  see  a  big 
butcher  shop,  with  hull  sides  of  beef,  mutton, 
pork,  hams,  chickens,  etc.,  hangin'  up.  And  a 
long  counter,  piled  full  of  invitin'  lookin'  pieces 
ready  to  roast  or  brile.  The  butcher  in  a  clean 
white  apron  stood  behind  the  counter.  Every- 
thing looked  good  and  clean,  but  I'd  hearn  of 
city  meat  givin'  toe  main  pizen,  and  knowin' 
Josiah's  fondness  for  meat  vittles  —  I  asked 
anxiously,  "Are  you  sure  the  critters  this 
meat  come  from  hadn't  got  cow  consumption, 
or  hog  cholera  ?  " 

A  friendly  female  standin'  by  said,  "Every 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    229 

mite  of  that  is  candy. "  And  she  offered  me  a 
piece  of  sassidge,  and  asked  which  I  preferred, 
wintergreen  or  peppermint. 

I  answered  mekanically  that  I  seasoned  my 
sassidge  with  sage  and  pepper.  Agin  she 
affirmed  that  everything  in  the  butcher  shop 
wuz  candy. 

I  didn't  argy,  but  merely  said,  "It  is  enough 
to  deceive  the  very  electioneers. " 

Sez  she,  "I  spoze  you  mean  politicians,  and 
that's  so,  if  they're  deceived  anyone  can  be." 

I  wuz  talkin'  Bible  but  didn't  explain,  and 
walked  onwards.  The  F.  F.  (friendly  female) 
come  too,  and  pretty  soon  we  come  to  what 
they  called  a  new-matic  tube  and  the  F.  F. 
explained  it  to  me,  sez  she,  "You  are  shet  into 
a  car  made  of  iron  and  it  runs  with  a  deafenin' 
roar  into  a  dark  tunnel,  and  all  to  once  the  car 
slides  down  twenty  feet  and  dashes  through 
another  dark  tunnel  and  then  comes  out  where 
you  went  in.  If  it  wuzn't  for  the  dretful  noise," 
sez  she,  "it  would  seem  like  a  grave.  Don't 
you  want  to  try  it?" 

"No,  mom,"  sez  I,  "I  shan't  git  into  any 
coffin'  and  grave  till  my  time  comes." 

"Well,"  sez  she,  "I'm  goin'  into  the  Scenic 
Railway,    won't    you    come    too?"     And    not 


23o      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

wantin'  to  act  hauty  and  high-headed  I  bought  a 
ticket  and  went  in  with  her.  It  looked  some 
like  a  great  high  rock  with  a  cavern  hollered  out, 
and  a  huge  devil's  head  with  a  waterfall  flowin' 
out  of  its  mouth.  I  knowed  the  devil  couldn't 
hurt  us  as  long  as  he  kep'  his  mouth  full  of  water. 
So  we  got  on  a  car  with  about  ten  other  folks 
and  they  locked  us  in  and  we  went  right  up  I 
calculated  about  half  a  mild,  though  I  didn't 
measure,  and  then  we  sailed  off  and  first  I  knew 
there  wuz  Havana  Harbor,  war  ships,  forts, 
etc.,  and  the  city.  But  we  didn't  stop  for 
refreshments,  for  all  of  a  sudden  down  we  went 
probably  half  a  mild  right  straight  down.  I 
ketched  holt  of  the  F.  F.  and  she  ketched  holt 
of  me.  When  all  to  once  we  wuz  to  the  North 
Pole,  ice,  snow  drifts,  white  bears,  etc.,  sur- 
rounded us  and  a  sign  with  Dr.  Cook  on  it. 

The  F.  F.  riz  up  and  yelled  to  the  conductor 
to  stop.  Sez  she,  "  I  want  to  get  out  to  the  Pole, 
I  want  to  discover  it!  I  want  to  git  my  name  in 
the  papers!  I  want  to  be  talked  about!"  sez 
she. 

We  wuz  goin'  up  a  tremengous  mountain, 
and  he  sez,  "  Set  down  or  you  will  git  your  name 
in  the  death  notices." 

Whether  he  laid  out  to  kill  her  I  don't  know, 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    231 

for  she  set  down.  And  jest  then  somebody 
yells,  "Here  we  go  down  to  the  bottomless  pit." 

I  sez  to  the  F.  F.,  "I  can't  believe  it!  Tain't 
so!     It  must  be  Pugatory!" 

But  there  wuz  the  sign,  "Hell." 


On  we  went  under  the  waterfall,  up,  up,  dozen,  down, 
and  finally  shot  out  jest  where  we  got  in." 

(See  page  232) 

"Oh!"  I  groaned  out  in  agony,  "what  have  I 
ever  done  to  merit  this!  Have  I  ever  been 
mean  enough  to  Josiah?"  But  there  they  wuz, 
fiery  pits,  big  devils  and  little  ones  with  pitch- 
forks and  darts,  etc.  Only  one  thought  assuaged 
my  torment,  my  Josiah  wuzn't  there.     But  in  a 


232      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

minute  up  we  went,  up  —  up  —  and  come  out 
to  an  open  place,  where  I  see  what  I  thought 
wuz  Heaven,  but  it  wuz  only  Coney  Island, 
but  after  what  Pd  been  through  even  that 
worldly  frivolous  spot  looked  heavenly  to  me. 
On  we  went  under  the  waterfall,  up,  up,  down, 
down,  through  hot  countries  and  cold,  and 
finally  shot  out  jest  where  we  got  in. 


CHAPTER    FIFTEEN 

/  visit  the  Moon^  the    JVitchir? 
Waves,  Open  Air  Circus,  ad- 
vise   the    monkeys,    make    the 
male  statute  laugh,  but  do  not 
find  yosiah 


CHAPTER     FIFTEEN 

/  VISIT  THE  MOON,  THE  WITCH  IN'  WAVES, 
OPEN  AIR  CIRCUS,  ADVISE  THE  MON- 
KEYS, MAKE  THE  MALE  STATUTE  LAUGH, 
BUT  DO  NOT  FIND  J  OS  I  AH 

THE  Witching  Waves  is  a  track  that 
moves  up  and  down  in  waves.  Scien- 
tific folks  say  that  it  is  a  mechanical 
wonder.  I  couldn't  see  how  it  wuz  done.  I 
couldn't  make  one  to  save  my  life.  Folks  git 
into  little  automobiles  and  steer  'em  themselves 
and  first  they  know  some  unseen  power  under 
'em  lifts  the  track  right  up,  and  of  course  their 
car  goes  too  with  it.  Then  anon  the  track  will 
go  way  down,  and  they  with  it,  mebby  meetin' 
another  car  down  there,  and  they  will  be  all 
mixed  up,  but  first  they  know  the  track  will 
hist  up  agin  under  'em  and  they  have  to  foller 
it  up  agin.  Dretful  curious  spot,  well  called 
Witching  Waves.  But  every  owner  of  an  auto 
sees  curious  times,  and  feels  witchin'  waves, 
yes  indeed! 

Why,  I  hearn  about  a  little  girl  who  happened 
23s 


236      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

to   hear   a   man   swearin'   dretfully  at  sunthin 
and  he  apoligized. 

"Oh,"  sez  she,  "I'm  used  to  it,  my  papa  owns 
a  car."  But  'tain't  necessary  to  swear  at  'em, 
it  don't  do  no  good,  besides  the  wickedness 
on't. 


am 


The  Witching  Waves 

Folks    get  into   little  automobiles   and 
steer  'em  themselves."      (See  page  2jj) 

But  jest  as  I  wuz  moralizin'  on  this,  I  hearn  a 
bystander  talkin'  about  the  Trip  to  the  Moon. 
And  rememberin'  what  Bildad  said  I  sot  out  for 
the  air-ship  that  took  folks  there.  To  tell  the 
truth,  I'd  always  hankered  to  see  what  wuz  on 
the  moon.     Not  to  see  that  old  man  of  the  moon 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    237 

(no,  Josiah  wuz  my  choice) ;  but  I  always  did 
want  to  know  what  wuz  on  the  other  planets, 
and  though  I'm  most  ashamed  to  say  it,  after 
all  my  talk  agin  Coney  Island,  yet  if  it  hadn't 
been  for  the  kankerin'  worm  of  anxiety  knawin' 
at  my  vitals,  I  should  have  enjoyed  myself 
first  rate  as  the  air-ship  sailed  off,  with  a  stately 
motion,  for  the  moon. 

I  had  watched  the  passengers  with  a  eagle 
vision  but  no  Josiah  embarked,  but  the  air- 
ship sailed  off,  the  earth  receeded,  we  wuz  in 
the  clouds,  anon  we  passed  through  a  big  thunder 
storm,  I  wuz  almost  lost  in  thought  watchin' 
sea  and  ocean  when  the  captain  called  out: 

"The  Moon!   the  Moon!" 

And  we  alighted  and  got  off,  I  a-thinkin'  what 
and  who  wuz  I  to  see  in  thet  place  I'd  always 
hankered  for.  Strange  shapes  indeed,  foreign  to 
our  earth,  birds,  dragons,  animals  of  most  weird 
shape.  Anon  I  see  a  little  figger,  queer-lookin' 
as  you  might  spoze.  I  accosted  the  little  Moony, 
my  first  words  bein'  not  a  question  of  deep 
historical  research,  you  would  expect  a  woman 
with  my  noble  brain  would  ask,  about  that 
onexplored  country.  No,  my  head  didn't  speak, 
it  wuz  my  heart,  that  gushed  forth  in  a  agonized 
inquiry. 


238      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

"Have  you  seen  Josiah?  Have  you  seen  my 
beloved  pardner?     Is  he  in  the  moon?" 

His  words  in  reply  wuz  in  moon  language, 
nothin'  I  ever  hearn  in  Jonesville  or  Zoar,  and 
anon  he  begun  to  sing  in  that  moony  language, 
and  I  see  I  wuz  wastin'  time,  I  must  conduct  my 
quest  myself. 

But  oh,  the  seens  I  passed  through!  And  oh, 
the  queer  moon  landscapes!  the  queer  moony 
animals  and  moon  creeters  I  passed!  But  all 
in  vain,  no  Josiah  blessed  my  longin'  vision. 
And  with  my  brain  turnin'  over  and  my  heart 
achin',  I  agin  entered  the  air-ship  and  returned 
to  terry  cotta;  or  mebby  I  hain't  got  it  right 
in  my  agitation,  mebby  I'd  ort  to  say  visey 
versey.  'Tennyrate  I  found  myself  out  in  Luny 
Park  agin. 

Well,  what  wuz  to  be  my  next  move?  Fur 
up  a  steep  hite  I  see  water  pourin'  down  a  deep 
abyss  and  a  boat  full  of  men  and  wimmen  set 
out  from  the  highest  peak,  shot  down  the  decliv- 
ity like  lightnin'  and  dashed  'way  out  in  the 
water  on  the  other  side  of  the  bridge  where  I 
wuz  standin' ;   but  my  idol  wuz  not  among  'em. 

I  see  a  great  checker-board  raised  up,  so  big 
it  wuz  played  with  human  creeters  instead  of 
beans  or  kernels  of  corn.     But  no  Josiah  wuz 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    239 


• 


A  boat  full  of  men  and  women  set  out  from  the  highest 
peak,  shot  down  the  declivity  like  lightnin'  and  dashed 
'way  out  on  the  other  side  of  the  bridge" 

(See  page  238) 


24o      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

there  movin'  and  jumpin',  or  bein'  jumped  as 
the  case  might  be. 

On  one  side  riz  up  a  high  mountain  full  of 
green  shrubs  and  flowers,  and  windin'  round 
and  round  from  the  bottom  clear  to  the  top, 
went  cars  filled  with  men  and  wimmen,  boys 
and  girls,  up,  up,  down,  down,  as  fur  as  from 
our  house  to  Betsy  Bobbet  Slimpsey's;  but  no 
Josiah  wuz  among  the  winders  up  or  the  winders 
down. 

Even  as  I  looked,  a  elephant  passed  me  with 
stately  tread,  bearin'  on  his  richly  ornamented 
back  a  small-sized  man  with  a  bald  head;  but 
it  wuzn't  Josiah's  baldness  or  his  small,  meachin> 
figger. 

Two  high  tiers  of  balconies  stretched  along 
on  one  side,  ornamented  off  with  white  pillows 
and  posies  where  folks  could  set  and  eat  their 
good  meals,  and  enjoy  the  music  and  the  never 
ceasing  gayety.  Beneath  'em,  above  'em  and 
beyond  'em,  as  fur  as  they  could  see,  towers, 
pinnacles,  battlements,  steeples,  palms,  flowers, 
color,  light,  music,  and  the  endless,  endless  pro- 
cession of  pleasure  hunters  passin'  below.  Rich 
men,  poor  men,  wimmen  in  satin  and  serge, 
shiffon  and  calico,  babies,  boys  and  girls. 

I  made  the  calculation  that  about  a  million 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     241 

folks  could  be  accommodated  on  them  balconies. 
I  may  have  got  one  or  two  too  many;  I  didn't 
stop  to  count. 

Lower  down  run  a  low,  ornamented  ruff, 
coverin'  hundreds  of  little  tables  where  folks 
could  set  and  git  soft  drinks  and  hard.  The 
hard  drink's  true  to  its  name  everyway.  For 
when  did  the  Whiskey  Demon  ever  turn  out 
anything  but  hard,  from  the  time  it  exhilerates 
the  consumer  till  it  drives  him  away  from  love, 
home,  friends,  happiness,  and  at  last  gives  him 
a  final  hard  push,  sendin'  him  into  a  onlamented 
grave ! 

But  truly  no  one  has  time  to  moralize  or 
eppisode  to  any  extent  amidst  the  music, 
laughter  and  gay  voices,  the  endless  procession 
passin'  by.  To  most  a  seen  of  happiness,  but 
to  me  they  seemed  like  shadders;  the  Reality 
of  life,  my  beloved  pardner,  wuz  lost,  lost  to  me. 
A  pleasant  lookin'  female  standin'  by,  seem' 
the  emotion  in  my  face,  and  wantin'  to  cheer 
me  up,  I  spoze,  sez: 

"Have  you  tried  the  Loop  de  Loop?" 

I  answered  with  a  sad  dignity,  "Yes,  I've 
done  considerable  tattin'  in  my  day." 

"Mebby  you'd  like  to  try  the  Bump  de 
Bump." 


242      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

I  sez,  "No,  Fve  enjoyed  enough  of  that 
since  comin'  in  here." 

Sez  she,  "Have  you  seen  the  monkeys  keepin' 
house?" 

"No,"  sez  I,  "but  I  will."  And  sure  enough, 
there  vvuz  a  big  family  of  monkeys  housekeeping. 
Some  eatin'  dinner  in  the  dining  room,  some 
doin'  different  kinds  of  housework,  sweeping 
operatin'  the  dumb  waiter,  payin'  bills,  etc. 
Some  in  the  settin'  room  readin'  the  newspaper. 
And  there  is  a  band  of  sixty  monkey  musicians. 
And  I  hearn  they're  learnin'  bridge  whist;  I 
wuz  sorry  to  hear  that,  and  I  sez  to  the  oldest 
and  wisest  lookin'  monkey: 

"You'll  sup  sorrow  if  you  go  into  bridge 
whist,  gamblin'  and  wastin'  good  daylight  in 
civilized  sports,  when  you  might  be  hangin' 
from  tree  tops,  and  chasm'  each  other  'round 
stumps,  in  a  honest,  oncivilized  way.  If  you 
don't  look  out  your  ladies  will  foller  the  exam- 
ple of  the  Four  Hundred  and  be  thinkin'  of  a 
divorce  and  big  alimony  next." 

He  looked  impressed  by  my  noble  anxiety  on 
their  behaff,  but  didn't  say  nothin'.  But  mebby 
he'll  hear  to  me.  A  little  boy  standin'  by  sez, 
"Ma,  Jimmy  Bates  sez  that  he  and  I  and  every- 
body descended  from  monkeys  —  did  I,  ma?" 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    243 

"I  don't  know,"  sez  she,  "I  never  knew  much 
about  your  father's  family." 

I  didn't  stay  long  at  the  Open  Air  Circus, 
though  it  wuz  a  big  place  and  sights  goin'  on 
there;  bare-backed  riders,  Japanese  jugglers 
and  acrobats,  tight-rope  walkers,  elephants  and 
camels  with  folks  on  their  backs,  with  Arabians 
and  East  Indians  in  their  native  costumes  takin' 
care  of  'em. 

Not  fur  off  I  see  a  male  statute;  lots  of  folks 
wuz  congregated  in  front  of  it,  and  I  went  up 
too,  and  I  sez  to  a  female  bystander,  "I  always 
did  love  to  see  statutes.  But  this  one's  linement 
is  humblier  than  most  on  'em." 

When  if  you'll  believe  it  it  turned  round  and 
sez,  " Thank  you,  mom,  for  the  compliment." 
It  acted  mad. 

Another  man  stood  like  a  statute,  and  the 
woman  I  had  spoke  to  sez,  "You  can  git  a 
dollar  if  you  can  make  that  man  laugh." 

And  I  sez,  "I  can." 

Sez  she,  "I  don't  believe  it;  I've  read  to  him 
lots  of  the  humorous  stories  in  the  late  mag- 
azines, and  he  looked  fairly  gloomy  when  I  got 
done." 

And  I  sez,  "I  don't  wonder  at  that,  I  do  my- 
self.    They're  awful  deprestin'." 


244      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

And  she  sez,  "I've  held  up  in  front  of  him 
the  funny  colored  supplements  to  the  Sunday 
papers,  and  I  thought  he'd  cry." 

"Well,"  sez  I,  "I've  pretty  nigh  shed  tears 
over  'em  myself,  they  made  me  so  onhappy." 

"How  be  you  goin'  to  make  him  laugh?" 
sez  she. 

"You  watch  me  and  see,"  sez  I.  So  I  went 
up  to  him  and  got  his  eye  and  told  him  over  a 
lot  of  laws  our  male  statesmen  have  made,  and 
are  makin\  License  laws  of  different  kinds, 
but  all  black  as  a  coal.  How  a  little  girl  of 
twelve  or  fourteen,  pronounced  legally  incapable 
of  buyin'  or  sellin'  a  sheep  or  a  hen,  can  legally 
sell  her  virtue  and  ruin  her  life.  How  pizen  is 
licensed  by  law  to  make  men  break  the  law,  and 
then  they  are  punished  and  hung  by  the  law  for 
dour5  what  the  law  expected  they  would  do. 

How  a  woman  can  protect  her  dog  by  payin' 
a  dollar,  but  can't  protect  her  boy  with  her  hull 
property  and  her  heart's  blood.  How  mothers 
are  importuned  by  male  statesmen  to  bring  big 
families  into  a  world  full  of  temptation  and  ruin, 
but  have  no  legal  rights  to  protect  them  from 
the  black  dangers  licensed  by  these  law-makers. 

His  face  looked  so  queer,  I  worried  some 
thinkin'  I  should  git  him  to  cryin'  instead  of 


AXD  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    245 

laughin' ;  but  I  hurried  and  told  him  how  our 
statesmen  would  flare  up  now  and  then  and 
turribly  threaten  the  Mormon  who  keeps  on 
marry-in'  some  new  wives  every  little  while,  and 
then  elect  him  to  Congress,  and  sculp  his  head 
on  our  warship  to  show  foreign  nations  that 
America  approves  of  such  doin's.  And  I  told 
him  how  girls  and  boys,  hardly  out  of  pantalettes 
and  knee  breeches,  could  git  married  in  five 
minutes,  but  have  to  spend  months  and  money 
to  break  the  ties  so  easily  made  and  prove  they 
are  morally  fit  to  care  for  the  children  born  of 
that  careless  five  minute  ceremony. 

His  linement  looked  scornful  at  the  idee.  And 
I  told  him  how  they  tax  wimmen  without  repre- 
sentation, and  then  spend  millions  rasin'  statutes 
to  our  forefathers  for  fightin'  agin  the  same 
thing.  And  how  statesmen  trust  wimmen  with 
their  happiness,  their  lives  and  their  honor, 
but  deny  'em  the  rights  they  give  to  wicked  men, 
degenerates,  and  men  whose  heads  are  so  soft  a 
fly  will  slump  in  if  it  lights  on  'em.  To  such 
men  (as  well  as  better  ones)  they  give  the 
right  to  govern  the  wimmen  they  love,  their 
good  inteligent  wives  and  mothers,  rule  'em 
through  life,  and  award  punishment  and  death 
to  'em. 


246      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

"  And  such  men,"  sez  I,  "say  wimmen  don't 
know  enough  to  vote." 

The  very  idee  wuz  so  weak  and  inconsistent 
that  it  made  the  man  statute  hysterical,  and  he 
bust  out  into  a  peal  of  derisive  laughter,  and  I 
took  my  dollar  and  walked  off,  though  I  knowed 
enough  could  be  said  on  this  subject  to  make 
a  stun  statute  hystericky.  I  lay  out  to  send  the 
dollar  to  the  W.  C.  T.  U. 

Jest  after  this  I  met  Bildad,  and  he  sez,  "I 
jest  see  Josiah;  he  wuz  in  Steeple  Chase  Park, 
talkin'  with  some  girls  there." 

I  didn't  wait  to  ask  what  they  wuz  talkin' 
about,  I  hoped  it  wuz  religion,  but  felt  duber- 
some,  and  hurried  there  fast  as  I  could.  I 
crossed  the  automobile  track  where  crowded 
cars  wuz  runnin'  all  the  while  round  and  round, 
past  the  rows  of  big  high  headed  mettlesome 
hosses  (this  is  a  pun;   they  wuz  made  of  metal). 

But  I  passed  'em  all  as  if  they  wuzn't  there; 
for  my  mind  wuz  all  took  up  with  the  thought, 
should  I  find  my  pardner  there  talkin'  with  them 
girls,  and  if  so,  what  would  be  the  subject  of 
their  conversation?  Josiah  is  sound;  but  the 
best  of  men  have  weak  spots  in  their  armor 
which  the  glance  of  a  bright  eye  will  oft-times 
pierce  through  and  do  damage.     So,  to  protect 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    247 

my  dear  pardner  from  danger,  I  pressed  forward 
and  wuz  let  in  by  a  good-lookin'  man  for  twenty- 
five  cents.  He  gin  me  a  paper  locket  and  told 
me  to  be  sure  and  not  lose,  it  It  had  a  man's 
face  on  it,  and  I  d'no  but  he  thought  I  would 
treasure  it  on  account  of  that. 

I  didn't  argy  with  him,  but  jest  looked  him 
coldly  in  the  face  and  sez,  "I  am  no  such  a 
woman,  I  have  got  a  pardner  of  my  own, 
though  I  can't  put  my  hand  on  him  this  minute." 
And  I  passed  on. 


Rows    of    high-headed    mettlesome 
hossesT 


CHAPTER    SIXTEEN 

The  wonderful  and  mysterious 
sights  I  saw  in  Steeple  Chase 
Park,  and  my  search  there  for 
my  pardner 


CHAPTER   SIXTEEN 

THE  WONDERFUL  AND  MYSTERIOUS  SIGHTS 
I  SAW  IN  STEEPLE  CHASE  PARK,  AND 
MY  SEARCH  THERE  FOR  MY  PARDNER 

STEEPLE  CHASE  PARK  is  most  as  big 
as  Luny  Park,  but  is  mostly  one  huge 
buildin'  covered  with  glass,  and  every 
thing  on  earth  or  above,  or  under  the  earth,  is 
goin'  on  there,  acres  and  acres  of  amusements 
(so-called)  in  one  glass  house. 

As  I  went  in,  I  see  a  immense  mirror  turnin' 
round  and  round  seemin'ly  invitin'  folks  to  look. 
But  as  I  glanced  in,  I  tell  the  truth  when  I  say, 
I  wuzn't  much  bigger  round  than  a  match,  and 
the  thinness  made  me  look  as  tall  as  three 
on  me. 

"Oh,"  sez  I,  "has  grief  wore  my  flesh  away 
like  this?  If  it  keeps  on  I  shan't  dast  to  take 
lemonade,  for  fear  I  shall  fall  into  the  straw 
and  be  drowned." 

A  bystander  sez,  "Look  agin,  mom!" 

I  did  and  I  wuzn't  more'n  two  fingers  high, 
and  wide  as  our  barn  door. 

251 


252      SAMANTHA  AT  COXEY  ISLAND 

I  most  shrieked  and  sez  to  myself,  "It  has 
come  onto  me  at  last,  grief  and  such  doin's  as 
I've  seen  here,  has  made  me  crazy  as  a  loon." 
And  I  started  away  almost  on  a  run. 

All  of  a  sudden  the  floor  under  me  which 
looked  solid  as  my  kitchen  floor  begun  to 
move  back  and  forth  with  me  and  sideways 
and  back,  to  and  fro,  fro  and  to,  and  I  goin'  with 
it,  one  foot  goin'  one  way,  and  the  other  foot 
goin'  somewhere  else;  but  by  a  hurculaneum 
effort  I  kep'  my  equilebrium  upright,  and  made 
out  to  git  on  solid  floorin\  But  a  high-headed 
female  in  a  hobble  skirt,  the  hobbles  hamperin 
her,  fell  prostrate.  I  felt  so  shook  up  and  wob- 
blhV  myself,  I  thought  a  little  Scripter  would 
stiddy  me,  and  I  sez,  "Sinners  stand  on  slippery 
places." 

"I  see  they  do!"  she  snapped  out,  lookin'  at 
me;    "but  I  can't!" 

I  sez  to  myself  as  I  turned  away,  "I'll  bet  she 
meant  me."  But  bein'  tuckered  out,  I  sot 
down  on  a  reliable-lookin'  stool,  the  high-headed 
woman  takin'  another  one  by  my  side  —  there 
wuz  a  hull  row  of  folks  settin'  on  'em  —  when, 
all  of  a  sudden,  I  d'no  how  it  wuz  done  or  why, 
but  them  stools  all  sunk  right  down  to  the  floor 
bearin'  us  with  'em  onwillin'ly. 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    253 

I  scrambled  to  my  feet  quick  as  I  could,  and 
as  I  fiz  up  I  see  right  in  front  on  me  the  gigan- 
tick,  shameless  female  Bildad  had  as  good  as 
told  me  Josiah  had  been  flirtin'  with.  I  knowed 
her  to  once,  the  gaudy,  flashin'  lookin'  creeter, 
bigger  than  three  wimmen  ort  to  be;  she  wuz 
ten  feet  high  if  she  wuz  a  inch.  As  she  come  up 
to  me  with  mincin'  steps,  I  sez  to  her  in  skathin' 
axents : 

"What  have  you  done  with  my  innocent 
pardner?  Where  is  Josiah  Allen?  Open  your 
guilty  breast  and  confess."  And  now  I'm  tell- 
in'  the  livin'  truth,  as  she  towered  up  in  front 
on  me,  her  breast  did  open  and  a  man's  face 
looked  out  on  me.  My  brain  tottled,  but 
righted  itself  with  relief,  for  it  wuz  not  Josiah; 
it  wuz  probable  some  other  woman's  husband. 
But  I  sez  to  myself,  let  ever}7  woman  take  care 
of  her  own  husband  if  she  can;  it  hain't  my 
funeral. 

And  I  hurried  off  till  I  come  out  into  a  kinder 
open  place  with  some  good  stiddy  chairs  to  set 
down  on,  and  some  green  willers  hangin'  down 
their  verdant  boughs  over  some  posy  beds. 
Nothin'  made  up  about  'em.  Oh  how  good  it 
looked  to  me  to  see  sunthin'  that  God  had  made, 
and  man  hadn't  dickered  with  and  manufac- 


254 


SAMAXTHA  AT  COXEY  ISLAXD 


I'm  tellirf  the  livid  truth,  as  she  towered  up  in  front  on 
me,  her  breast  opened  and  a  man's  face  looked  out  on 
me."  (See  page  253) 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    255 

tured  to  seem  different  from  what  it  wuz. 
Thinks  I,  if  I  should  take  hold  of  one  of  these 
feathery  green  wilier  sprays  it  wouldn't  turn 
into  a  serpent  or  try  to  trip  me  up,  or  wobble 
me  down.  They  looked  beautiful  to  me,  and 
beyond  'em  I  could  see  the  Ocean,  another  and 
fur  greater  reality,  real  as  life,  or  death,  or  taxes, 
or  anything  else  we  can't  escape  from. 

Settin'  there  lookin'  off  on  them  mighty 
everlastin'  waves,  forever  flowin'  back  and 
forth,  forth  and  back,  the  world  of  the  flimsy 
and  the  false  seemed  to  pass  away  and  the  Real 
more  nigh  to  me  than  it  did  in  the  painted  land 
of  shams  and  onreality  I  had  been  passin' 
through.  And  as  I  meditated  on  the  disgrace- 
ful sight  I  had  seen  —  that  gaudy,  guilty  creeter 
with  a  man  concealed  in  her  breast.  For  if  it 
wruzn't  a  guilty  secret,  why  wuz  the  door  shet 
and  fastened  tight,  till  the  searchlight  of  a 
woman's  indignant  eyes  brought  him  to  light  ? 

Thinkin'  it  over  calmly  and  bein'  reasonable 
and  just,  my  feelin's  over  that  female  kinder 
softened  down,  and  I  sez  to  myself,  what  if 
there  wuz  a  open  winder  or  door  into  all  our 
hearts,  for  outsiders  to  look  in,  what  would 
they  see?  Curious  sights,  homely  ones  and 
beautiful,  happy  ones  and  sorrowful,  and  some 


256      SAMANTHA  AT  COXEY  ISLAND 

kinder  betwixt  and  between.  Sacred  spots  that 
the  nearest  ones  never  got  a  glimpse  on.  Eyes 
that  look  acrost  the  coffee  pot  at  you  every 
mornin'  never  ketched  sight  on  'em,  nor  the 
ones  that  walk  up  and  down  in  them  hidden 
gardens.  Some  with  veiled  faces  mebby,  some 
with  reproachful  orbs,  some  white  and  still, 
some  pert  and  sassy. 

Nothin'  wicked,  most  likely;  nothin'  the  law 
could  touch  you  for;  but  most  probable  it 
might  make  trouble  if  them  affectionate  eyes 
opposite  could  behold  'em,  for  where  love  is 
there  is  jealousy,  and  a  lovin'  woman  will  be 
jealous  of  a  shadder  or  a  scare-crow.  It  is 
nateral  nater  and  can't  be  helped.  But  if  she 
stopped  to  think  on't,  she  herself  has  her  hid- 
away  nooks  in  her  heart,  dark  or  pleasant  land- 
scapes, full  of  them,  you  never  ketch  a  glimpse 
on  do  the  best  you  can.  And  jealous  curosity 
goes  deep.  What  would  Josiah  see  through 
my  heart's  open  door?  What  would  I  see  in 
hisen?  It  most  skairs  me  to  think  on't.  No, 
it  hain't  best  to  have  open  doors  into  hearts. 
Lots  of  times  it  would  be  resky;  not  wrong, 
you  know,  but  jest  resky. 

Thus  I  sot  and  eppisoded,  lookin'  off  onto  the 
melancholy  ocean,  listenin'  to  her  deep  sithes, 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    257 

when  onbid  come  the  agonizin'  thought,  "Had 
Josiah  Allen  backslid  so  fur  and  been  so  full  of 
remorse  and  despair,  that  his  small  delicate 
brain  had  turned  over  with  him,  and  he  had 
throwed  himself  into  the  arms  of  the  melancholy 
Ocean?  Wuz  her  deep,  mournful  sithes  pre- 
parin'  me  for  the  heart-breakin'  sorrow?  I 
couldn't  abear  the  thought,  and  I  riz  up  and 
walked  away.  As  I  did  so  a  bystander  sez, 
"Have  you  been  up  on  the  Awful  Tower?" 

"No,"  sez  I,  "I've  been  through  awful  things, 
enough,  accidental  like,  without  layin'  plans 
and  climbin'  up  on  'em/'  But  Hope  will  always 
hunch  Anxiety  out  of  her  high  chair  in  your  head 
and  stand  up  on  it.  I  thought  I  would  go  up- 
stairs into  another  part  of  the  buildin'  and 
mebby  I  might  ketch  a  glimpse  of  my  pardner 
in  the  dense  crowd  below. 

And  if  you'll  believe  it,  as  I  wuz  walkin'  up- 
stairs as  peaceful  as  our  old  brindle  cow  goin' 
up  the  south  hill  paster,  my  skirts  begun  to 
billow  out  till  they  got  as  big  as  a  hogsit.  I 
didn't  care  about  its  bein'  fashion  to  not  bulge 
out  round  the  bottom  of  your  skirts  but  hobble 
in;  but  I  see  the  folks  below  wuz  laughin'  at  me, 
and  it  madded  me  some  when  I  hadn't  done  a 
thing,  only  jest  walk  upstairs  peaceable.     And 


258       SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

I  don't  know  to  this  day  what  made  my  clothes 
billow  out  so. 

But  I  went  on  and  acrost  to  a  balcony,  and 
after  I  went  in,  a  gate  snapped  shet  behind  me 
and  I  couldn't  git  back.  And  when  I  got  to 
the  other  side  there  wuzn't  any  steps,  and  if  I 
got  down  at  all  I  had  to  slide  down.  I  didn't 
like  to  make  the  venter,  but  had  to,  so  I  tried 
to  forgit  my  specs  and  gray  hair  and  fancy  I 
wuz  ten  years  old,  in  a  pig-tail  braid,  and  panta- 
lettes tied  on  with  my  stockin's,  and  sot  off. 
As  I  went  down  with  Iightnin'  speed  I  hadn't 
time  to  think  much,  but  I  ricollect  this  thought 
come  into  my  harassed  brain: 

Be  pardners  worth  all  the  trouble  I'm  havin' 
and  the  dretful  experiences  I'm  goin'  through? 
Wouldn't  it  been  better  to  let  him  go  his  length, 
than  to  suffer  what  I'm  sufferin'?  I  reached 
the  floor  with  such  a  jolt  that  my  mind  didn't 
answer  the  question;  it  didn't  have  time. 

All  to  once,  another  wind  sprung  up  from 
nowhere  seemin'ly,  and  tried  its  best  to  blow  off 
my  bunnet.  But  thank  Heaven,  my  good 
green  braize  veil  tied  round  it  with  strong  lute- 
string ribbon,  held  it  on,  and  I  see  I  still  had 
holt  of  my  trusty  cotton  umbrell,  though  the 
wind   had    blowed  it  open,  but  I  shet  it  and 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    259 


"As   I   went   dozvn  with  UghtnirC  speed  I  had'nt  time  to 
think  much."  {See  page  238) 

grasped  it  firmly,  thinkin'  it  wuz  my  only  pro- 
tector and  safeguard  now  Josiah  wuz  lost,  and 
I  hastened  away  from  that  crazy  spot. 

As  I  passed  on  I  see  a  hull  lot  of  long  ropes 
danglin'  down.  On  top  of  'em  wuz  a  trolley, 
and  folks  would  hang  onto  the  handle  and  slide 
hundreds  of  feet  through  the  air.  But  I  didn't 
venter.  Disinclination  and  rumatiz  both  made 
me  waive  off  overtures  to  try  it. 


26o      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

Pretty  soon  I  come  to  a  huge  turn-table,  big 
as  our  barn  floor.  It  wuz  still  and  harmless 
lookin'  when  I  first  see  it,  and  a  lot  of  folks  got 
onto  it,  thinkin'  I  spoze  it  looked  so  shiny  and 
good  they'd  like  to  patronize  it.  But  pretty- 
soon  it  begun  to  move,  and  then  to  turn  faster  and 
faster  till  the  folks  couldn't  keep  their  seats  and 
one  by  one  they  wuz  throwed  off,  and  went  down 
through  a  hole  in  the  floor  I  know  not  where. 

As  I  see  'em  disappear  one  by  one  in  the 
depths  below,  thinks  I,  is  that  where  Josiah 
Allen  has  disappeared  to?  Who  knows  but  he 
is  moulderin'  in  some  underground  dungeon, 
mournin'  and  pinin'  for  me  and  his  native  land. 
Of  course  Reason  told  me  that  he  couldn't 
moulder  much  in  two  days,  but  I  wuz  too  much 
wrought  up  to  listen  to  Reason,  and  as  I  see 
'em  slide  down  and  disappear,  onbeknown  to 
myself  I  spoke  out  loud  and  sez: 

"Can  it  be  that  Josiah  is  incarcerated  in 
some  dungeon  below?  If  he  is,  I  will  find  and 
release  him  or  perish  with  him." 

A  woman  who  looked  as  if  she  belonged  there, 
hearn  me  and  sez,  "Who  is  Josiah?"  "My 
pardner,"  sez  I,  and  I  continued,  "You  have  a 
kind  face,  mom;  have  you  seen  him?  Have  you 
seen  Josiah  Allen?" 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS       261 


"  Pretty  soon  it  begun  to  move  and  one  by  one  they  wuz 
throwed  off  and  went  down  I  know  not  where" 

(See  page  260) 


262      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

"Describe  him,"  sez  she,  "there  wuz  a  man 
here  just  now  hunting  for  some  woman." 

"Oh,  he  is  very  beautiful!" 

"Young?"  sez  she. 

"Well,  no;  about  my  age  or  a  little  older." 

"Light  complexion?  Dark  hair  and  eyes? 
Stylish  dressed?" 

"No,  wrinkled  complexion,  bald,  and  what 
few  hairs  he's  got,  gray." 

She  smiled;  she  couldn't  see  the  beauty  Love 
had  gilded  his  image  with. 

Sez  I,  "If  he's  incarcerated  in  some  dungeon 
below,  I  too  will  mount  the  turn-table  of  tor- 
ture, and  share  his  fate  or  perish  on  the  turn 
table." 

Sez  she,  "There  is  no  dungeons  below;  the 
folks  come  out  into  a  vast  place  as  big  as  this. 
There  is  just  as  much  to  see  down  there  as  there 
is  here,  just  as  many  people  and  just  as  much 
amusement." 

"Amusement!"  sez  I  in  a  holler  voice. 

After  I  left  her,  I  see  a  whisk  broom  hangin' 
up  in  a  handy  place,  and  it  had  a  printed  liebill 
on  it,  "This  whisk  broom  free."  And  as  my 
parmetty  dress  had  got  kinder  dusty  a  slidin' 
and  wobblin'  as  I  had  slode  and  wobbled,  I 
went  to  brush  off  my  skirt  with  it,  when  all 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    263 

of  a  sudden  somebody  or  sunthin'  gin  me  a 
stunnin'  blow  right  in  my  arm  that  held  the 
brush.  I  dropped  it  without  waitin'  to  argy 
the  matter,  and  I  don't  know  to  this  day  who 
or  what  struck  me  and  what  it  wuz  for.  But 
my  conscience  wuz  clear;  I  hadn't  done 
nothin'. 

I  santered  on  and  entered  an  enclosure 
seeminTy  made  of  innocent  lookin'  fence  rails. 
I  wuz  kinder  attracted  to  it,  for  it  looked  some 
like  the  rail  fence  round  our  gooseberry  bushes. 
But  for  the  lands  sake !  it  wuzn't  like  any  fence 
in  Jonesville  or  Zoar,  for  though  it  looked 
innocent,  it  shet  me  in  tight  and  I  couldn't  git 
out. 

I  wandered  round  and  round,  and  out  and  in, 
and  it  wuz  a  good  half  hour  before  I  got  out, 
and  I  d'no  but  I'd  have  been  there  to  this  day, 
if  a  man  hadn't  come  and  opened  a  gate  and 
let  me  out.  Only  one  thought  kep'  up  my 
courage  in  my  fruitless  wanderings.  It  wuz 
all  done  in  plain  sight  of  everybody,  and  I  could 
see  for  myself  that  Josiah  wuzn't  kep'  there  in 
captivity. 

There  wuz  a  tall  pole  in  the  middle  of  the 
Amaze,  as  they  call  it  (well  named,  for  it  is 
truly  amazin'),  and  the  liebill  on  that  pole  read, 


264      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

"Climb  the  pole  and  ring  the  bell  on  it,  and  we 
will  give  you  a  prize." 

I  didn't  try  to  climb  that  pole,  and  wouldn't 
if  I  had  been  a  athleet.  How  did  I  know  but  it 
would  turn  into  a  writhin'  serpent,  and  writhe 
with  me?  No,  I  thought  I  wouldn't  take 
another  resk  in  that  dredful  spot.  And  I  wuz 
glad  I  thought  so,  for  jest  a  little  ways  off,  some 
honest,  easy  lookin'  benches  stood  invitin'  the 
weary  passer-by  to  set  down  and  rest  and 
recooperate.  And  right  there  before  my  eyes 
some  good  lookin'  folks  sot  down  on  'em  trust- 
in'ly,  and  the  hull  bench  fell  over  back  with  'em 
and  then  riz  up  agin,  they  fallin'  and  risin' 
with  it. 

I  hastened  away  and  thought  I  would  go  up 
into  the  second  story  agin  and  mebby  ketch 
sight  of  my  pardner,  for  the  crowd  had  increased. 
And  as  I  stood  there  skannin'  the  immense 
crowd  below  to  try  to  ketch  a  glimpse  of  my 
lawful  pardner,  all  to  once  I  see  the  folks  below 
wuz  laughin'  at  me.  I  felt  to  see  if  my  braize 
veil  hung  down  straight  and  graceful,  and  my 
front  hair  wuz  all  right,  and  my  cameo  pin  fas- 
tened. But  nothin'  wuz  amiss,  and  I  wondered 
what  could  it  be.  The  balcony  wuz  divided  off 
into  little  spaces,  five  or  six  feet  square,  and  I 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    265 

stood  in  one,  innocent  as  a  lamb  (or  mebby  it 
would  be  more  appropriate  to  say  a  sheep),  and 
leanin'  on  the  railing  and  one  sassy  boy  called 
out: 

"Where  wuz  you  ketched?  Are  you  tame? 
Wuz  you  ketched  on  the  Desert  of  Sara?  Did 
Teddy  ketch  you  for  the  Government ?"  and  I 
never  knowed  till  I  got  down  what  they  wuz 
laughin'  at. 

The  little  boxes  in  the  balcony  wuz  painted 
on  the  outside  to  represent  animal  cages.  On 
the  one  where  I  had  been  wuz  painted  the 
sign  Drumedary.  Josiah  Allen's  wife  took  for 
a  drumedary — The  idee! 

But  the  view  I  got  of  the  crowd  below  wuz 
impressive,  and  though  it  seemed  to  me  that 
everybody  in  New  York  and  Brooklyn  and  the 
adjacent  villages  and  country,  wuz  all  there  a 
Steeple  Chasm',  yet  I  knowed  there  wuz  jest 
as  many  dreamin'  in  Dreamland  and  bein'  luny 
in  Luny  Park.  And  Surf  Avenue  wuz  full, 
and  what  they  called  the  Bowery  of  Coney 
Island,  and  all  the  amusement  places  along  the> 
shore.  And  all  on  'em  on  the  move,  jostlin' 
and  bein'  jostled,  foolin'  and  bein'  fooled,  laugh- 
in'  and  bein'  laughed  at. 

Why,  I  wuz  told  and  believe,  that  sometimes 


266      SAMAXTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

a  million  folks  go  to  Coney  Island  on  a  holi- 
day. And  I  wuz  knowm'  myself  to  over  three 
thousand  orphan  children  goin'  there  at  one 
time  to  spend  a  happy  day,  the  treat  bein' 
gin  'em  by  some  big-hearted  men.  Plenty  to 
eat  and  drink,  and  a  hull  day  of  enjoyment, 
candy,  pop  corn,  circus,  etc.,  bright  day,  happy 
hearts,  how  that  day  will  stand  out  aginst  the 
dull  gray  background  of  their  lives!  And  them 
men  ort  to  hug  themselves  thinkin'  the  thought, 
over  three  thousand  happinesses  wuz  set  down 
to  their  credit  in  the  books  of  the  Recordin' 
Angel.  And  I  sez  to  myself,  "Samantha,  you 
ort  to  speak  well  of  anything  that  so  brightens 
the  lives  of  the  children  of  the  great  city." 
,  As  I  went  into  Dreamland  Park,  it  seemed 
agin  as  if  all  the  folks  in  the  city  wuz  there  in 
the  immense  inner  court,  surrounded  by  amuse- 
ments on  every  side.  They  wuz  comin'  and 
goin',  talkin',  laughin',  hurryin',  santerin',  to 
and  fro,  fro  and  to.  Lots  on  'em  talkin'  lan- 
guage I  never  hearn  before,  but  I  thought,  poor 
things,  you  never  had  the  advantage  of  livin'  in 
Jonesville,  so  I  overlooked  it  in  'em. 

I  see  most  the  first  thing  as  I  entered,  a  place 
called  Creation,  and  feelin'  dubersome  that  any 
thing  more  could  be  created  than  what  I'd  seen 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      267 


As  I  went  into  Dreamland  it  seemed  as  if  all  the  folks  in 
the  city  was  there."  (See  page  266) 


268      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

that  day,  I  bought  a  ticket  and  went  in,  and  to 
my  glad  surprise,  I  found  it  wuz  some  like  a 
prayer  meetin'.  For  a  man  with  a  loud  preachin' 
voice  quoted  a  lot  of  Scripter  most  the  first 
thing.  After  we  all  got  seated  it  turned  dark  as 
pitch  all  in  a  minute.  But  you  could  dimly  see 
a  vast  waste  of  water,  kinder  movin'  and 
swashin'  to  and  fro,  as  if  some  great  force  wuz 
workin'  down  below.  And  out  of  the  darkness 
we  hearn  that  Voice: 

"In  the  beginning  God  created  the  Heavens 
and  the  Earth,  and  the  Earth  wuz  without 
form  and  void,  and  darkness  wuz  on  the  face  of 
the  deep." 

Anon  the  fiery  energy  that  wuz  makin'  a 
planet,  wuz  hearn  in  deafenin'  peals  of  thunder, 
and  blazed  through  the  sky  in  sheets  of  lightnin' 
and  dartin'  balls  of  flame,  quietin'  down  some 
after  awhile.     And  the  Voice  continued : 

"The  spirit  of  God  moved  on  the  face  of  the 
deep.  And  God  said,  Let  there  be  light;  and 
there  wuz  light/* 

And  slowly  a  faint  light  dawned  and  growed 
brighter  and  brighter  and  fleecy  clouds  appeared. 
The  sky  growed  golden  and  rosy  in  the  east, 
and  the  sun  come  up  in  splendor.  Livin5  forms 
appeared  in  the  water,  monsters  of  all  kinds 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    269 

and  sizes,  queerer  than  any  dog  I  ever  see,  and 
the  Voice  went  on: 

"And  God  separated  the  water  from  the  land." 
Little  peaks  of  land  emerged  from  the  water 
or  it  seemed  as  if  the  water  receeded  from  them, 
and  gradually  the  dry  land  appeared,  and  soon 
queer  livin'  forms  appeared  on  it.  And  gradu- 
ally, with  green  grass  and  verdure,  it  become 
fit  for  the  home  of  man,  and  then  Adam  and 
Eve  appeared.  They  wuzn't  clothed  in  much 
besides  innocence,  but  somehow  they  didn't 
look  so  immodest  as  some  of  the  fashonably 
dressed  females  of  to-day,  with  dekolitay  and 
peek-a-boo  waists,  and  skin-tight  drapery. 

There  wuz  good  Bible  talk  and  sacred  music 
all  through  the  show.  And  I  felt  as  if  I  had 
looked  on  and  seen  a  world  made  right  before 
my  eyes,  and  that  I  would  dearly  love  to  make  a 
few  myself  if  I  had  time,  and  Josiah  wuz  willin\ 
I  wuz  highly  delighted  with  it  and  said  as  much 
to  the  female  who  sot  next  to  me.  She  had  a 
discontented,  onhappy  face,  and  I  guess  she  had 
enough  to  make  her  so,  for  her  husband  who  sot 
by  her  kep'  findin'  fault  with  her  all  the  time,  till 
at  last  she  turned  —  for  you  know  a  angle  worm 
will  turn  if  it  is  trod  on  enough  —  and  she  sez 
to  me,  but  meant  it  for  her  pardner  I  knowed: 


270      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

"The  lecturer  ort  to  gone  on  and  told  how 
sneakin'  mean  Adam  treated  his  wife,  eathV  the 
apple,  I'll  bet  down  to  the  very  core,  and  then 
misusin'  her  for  givin'  it  to  him,  and  puttin'  all 
the  blame  on  her  for  bringin'  sin  into  the  world, 
when  he  wuz  jest  as  much  to  blame  as  she  wuz." 

Sez  her  husband,  "You  have  to  slur  men  all 
the  time,  don't  you?  You  can't  see  or  hear 
anything  without  findin'  sunthin'  to  complain  of 
about  men.  I  despise  such  a  sperit;  men  don't 
have  it." 

Now,  I  love  justice,  and  I  hate  to  see  my  sect 
imposed  upon,  and  then  whenever  or  wherever 
I  travel,  I  always  bear  with  me  the  honorary 
title  I  won  honorably.  Jest  as  men  take  with 
'em  on  sea  or  land  their  titles  of  B.  A.  or  D.  D., 
just  so  I  ever  carry  the  title,  won  by  high  minded 
and  strenous  effort,  Josiah  Allen's  wife,  P.  A. 
and  P.  I.  —  Public  Adviser  and  Private  Investi- 
gator. Here,  I  thought,  is  need  for  a  P.  A.  So 
I  sez  to  her,  yet  in  a  voice  her  pardner  couldn't 
help  hearin': 

"I  hearn  once  of  a  husbands'  meetin'  in  a 
revival,  when  the  minister  asked  every  man  to 
git  up  who  had  complaints  to  make  about  his 
wife.  Every  man  sprung  to  his  feet  to  once, 
except  one  lone  man  by  the  door.     And   the 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    271 

minister  sez,  'My  friend,  you  are  one  man  in  a 
million  who  have  no  complaints  to  make  about 
your  wife.'  The  man  sez,  'That  hain't  it;  I'm 
paralyzed,  I  can't  git  up/" 

I  d'no  as  the  husband  I  aimed  this  at  took  it 
kind  or  not,  but  he  didn't  nag  his  wife  any  more 
in  my  hearin'. 


CHAPTER    SEVENTEEN 

In  which  I  continue  my  search  for 
yosiah  through  Dreamland, 
huntiri*  for  him  in  vain,  and 
return  to  Bildad^s  at  night, 
weary  and  despairiri* 


CHAPTER    SEVENTEEN 

IN  WHICH  I  CONTINUE  MY  SEARCH  FOR 
JOSIAH  THROUGH  DREAMLAND,  HUNTIN' 
FOR  HIM  IN  FAIN,  AND  RETURN  TO 
BILDAD'S  AT  NIGHT,  WEARY  AND  DE- 
SPAIRIN' 

CREATION  wuz  such  a  good  show  I  felt 
considerable  rested  and  refreshed  when 
it  wuz  over.  And  I  thought  the  woman 
looked  quite  a  little  perter;  it  duz  down- trod 
folks  lots  of  good  to  have  somebody  take  their 
part.  I  felt  kinder  good  to  think  I  had  lightened 
a  sister  female's  sperit  a  little,  and  wuz  walkin' 
along  quite  comfortable  in  mind  when  like  an 
arrow  out  of  a  bo,  the  old  pain  and  anxiety 
stabbed  me  afresh.  Another  hour  gone  and 
Josiah  Allen  not  found!  What  shall  I  do? 
Where  shall  I  turn  the  eyes  of  my  spectacles? 
Jest  as  I  wuz  askin'  this  question  to  my  troubled 
soul  I  hearn  a  boy  speak  to  another  one  about 
a  futur'  state  of  punishment  in  sich  a  vulgar 
and  familiar  way  that  I  turned  round  to  once, 
carryin'  out  my  roll  of  Promisicous  Adviser,  and  I 

275 


276      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

sez,  "You  wicked  boys  you,  to  talk  so  light  of 
your  future  states,  I  wonder  you  dast!  If  I  wuz 
your  mother  and  had  had  your  bringin'  up,  you 
wouldn't  dast!" 

They  looked  real  impudent  at  me,  and  one  on 
'em  sez,  "You  hain't  the  money  to  go  with, 
that's  what  ails  you." 

I  sez  solemnly,  "Riches  is  a  snare.  I  know 
how  hard  it  is  for  the  eye  of  a  needle  to  have  a 
camel  git  through  it;  I  know  how  the  rich  man 
longed  for  a  drop  of  water.  And  you'd  better 
meditate  on  these  things  and  try  to  git  used  to 
heat,  instead  of  talkin'  light  about  'em!"  I 
don't  know  how  much  longer  I  should  have  gone 
on  as  a  P.  A.  and  P.  I.  but  the  woman  I  had 
befriended  stepped  up  and  sez,  "He  means  the 
show  there."  And  lookin'  up,  if  you'll  believe 
it,  I  see  the  words  "Hell  Gate,"  and  sez  she, 
"I  have  got  two  tickets  and  my  husband  don't 
care  about  goin',  wont'  you  go  with  mer" 

I  thought  to  myself,  he  probably  thinks  he'll 
have  chances  to  sample  it  in  the  futur,  but 
mebby  he  wuz  jest  sulky.  But  I  only  sez  to 
her,  "It  is  the  last  place  I  ever  laid  out  to  go 
unless  I  wuz  obleeged  to.  But  lead  on,"  sez  I 
recklessly,  "I'll  foller."  For  the  thought  had 
come  to  me  onbid,     How  did  I  know  how  fur 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    277 

Josiah  Allen  had  back-slided  ?     How  did  I  know 
but  I'd  find  him  there? 

But  to  my  great  surprise  —  and  I  wish  Elder 
Minkley  could  see  it,  I  thought  mebby  it  would 


"We  got  in  a  small  boat  and  zvuz  car- 
ried round  and  round  till  we  dived 
into  a  dark  tunnel" 

modify  his  sermons  some  —  the  first  thing  we 
see  wuz  a  great  trough  of  water,  and  I  said  to 
the  woman  in  surprise,  "I  never  expected  that 
folks  would  go  to  this  hot  place  by  water !" 


278      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

But  we  got  into  a  small  boat  and  wuz  carried 
round  and  round  like  a  whirlpool,  till  the  boat 
got  in  the  very  center,  when  it  dived  down  into 
a  dark  tunnel. 

At  the  further  end  we  climbed  out  onto  a 
platform,  and  found  ourselves  in  a  long,  low- 
vaulted  place,  some  like  a  immense  tunnel. 
We  could  jest  ketch  a  glimpse  of  a  light  way  off 
at  the  end,  and  we  sot  off  for  it,  I  lookin'  clost 
and  sharp  on  every  side  for  my  pardner,  hopin' 
and  dreadin'  to  find  him  there.  When  all  of  a 
sudden,  the  most  terrific  yells  and  shrieks 
sounded  on  every  side  and  we  see  cages  of  wild 
animals  on  both  sides  of  us  movin'  up  and  down 
howlin'    and    snarlin\ 

Sez  the  woman,  "They're  men  dressed  up  as 
wild  beasts. " 

Sez  I,  "Have  they  got  to  stay  here  always? 
Do  you  spoze  it  is  wrong  doin'  that  has  changed 
'em  into  wild  animals?"  Sez  I,  "Judgin' 
from  the  papers  some  on  'em  wouldn't  need  much 
of  a  turn."  But  oh,  I  groaned  to  myself,  "Is 
Josiah  Allen  turned  into  a  bear  or  a  cammy 
leapord!  Is  he  here?  I  don't  believe,"  sez  I 
to  myself,  "he  has  ever  been  bad  enough  to  be 
turned  into  anything  worse  than  a  sheep  or  a 
rooster."     And   as   I   didn't   hear   any   blattin' 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    279 

or  crowin',  and  knowed  that  if  he  had  seen 
me  he  would  have  tried  to  communicate  with 
his  beloved  pardner,  I  felt  hopeful  he  wuzn't 
there. 

We  went  on  and  as  soon  as  we  got  out  she 
asked  me  if  I  didn't  want  to  see  the  Incubator 
babies,  and  bein'  agreeable  to  the  idee,  we  went 
and  see  'em.  There  they  lay  in  glass  cases, 
pretty  little  creeters  lookin'  like  wee  bits  of  dolls, 
I  felt  sad  as  I  looked  down  on  'em,  and  thought 
on  the  hard  journey  them  tiny  feet  must  set 
out  on  from  them  glass  boxes.  What  rough 
crosses  the  little  fingers  had  got  to  grasp  holt  of, 
and  onbeknown  to  me  my  mind  fell  onto  the 
follerin'  poetry  — 

"Our  crosses  are  made  from  different  trees, 
But  we  all  of  us  have  our  Calvaries; 
We  may  climb  the  mount  from  a  different  side, 
But  we  all  go  up  to  be  crucified." 

Of  course,  I  knowed  there  would  be  some 
bright  posies  wreathed  round  the  crosses;  but 
there  would  be  thorns  in  them.  And  though 
the  road  might  be  soft  and  agreeable  in  spots, 
yet  I  knowed  well  what  hard  rocks  there  wuz 
in  the  highway  of  life  to  stub  toes  on,  even 
common-sized  toes,  and  it  did  seem  a  pity  such 


28o      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

little  mites  of  feet  had  got  to  git  stun  bruises 
on  'em. 

Poor  little  creeters!  I  thought,  little  do  you 
know  what  sadness  and  ecstacy,  what  grief  and 
joy,  gloom  and  glory  lays  ahead  on  you.  I  wuz 
sorry  for  'em,  sorry  as  a  dog. 

And  then  I  didn't  like  the  idee  of  the  little 
helpless  creeters  bein'  laid  out  on  exhibition, 
like  shirt  buttons,  or  hooks  and  eyes,  to  be 
stared  on  by  saint  and  sinner,  by  eyes  tender  or 
cruel  —  and  voices  lovin'  and  hateful  to  com- 
ment on.  I  felt  that  the  place  for  little  babies 
wuz  to  home  in  the  bedroom.  And  I  thought 
nothin'  would  tempt  me,  if  Josiah  wuz  a  infant 
babe,  to  place  him  on  exhibition  like  Hamburg 
edgin',  or  bobbinet  lace.  The  very  idee  wuz 
repugnant  to  me.  And  I  wuz  more  than  willin' 
when  the  female  asked  me  if  I  didn't  want  to 
go  and  see  the  midgets,  and  we  went. 

And  you  don't  know  what  interestin'  little 
creeters  they  wuz,  mindin'  their  own  bizness 
and  midgetin'  away.  Actin'  out  a  little  play 
jest  as  if  a  company  of  dolls  had  come  to  life, 
talkin'  and  actin'.  They  seemed  to  be  jest  as 
happy  and  contented  as  if  they  wuz  eight  or 
ten  feet  high  and  heavy  accordin'. 

As  we  left  this  place  the  female  ketched  sight 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    281 

of  her  husband.  He  bagoned  hautily  to  her  with 
one  finger,  and  she  hastened  to  jine  him.  Such 
is  females.  And  so  true  it  is  that  love  in  either 
sect  will  rise  up  above  nagging  or  any  other 
kind  of  pardner  meanness. 

I  went  forward  alone  to  see  the  Head  Hunters. 
And  I  looked  on  the  brown  little  folks  with  a 
feelin'  of  pity.  How  did  I  know  they  had  ever 
had  good  advice  ?  I  felt  here  wuz  a  noble  chance 
for  a  P.  A. 

So  I  sez  to  'em,  "I've  hearn  of  your  doin's, 
and  I  want  to  advise  you  for  your  good/'  They 
looked  at  me  real  stiddy  and  I  went  on,  "You 
may  think  you  hain't  so  guilty  because  you 
only  take  folkses  heads.  But  for  the  lands 
sakes!  did  you  ever  stop  to  think  on't?  What 
can  they  do  without  their  heads?  Of  course," 
sez  I  reasonably,  "there  is  a  difference  in  heads. 
Some  folkses  heads  hain't  got  so  much  sense 
in  'em  as  others.  I've  seen  'em  myself  that 
I've  thought  a  good  wooden  head  wrould  be  jest 
as  useful.  But  they  are  the  best  they've  got, 
and  they're  attached  to  'em,  and  they  can't 
git  along  without  'em.  And  I  always  thought 
you  might  jest  as  wrell  take  their  hull  bodies 
whilst  you  wuz  about  it.  Don't  you  see  that  is 
so  ?    When  it  is  pinted  out  to  you  by  a  P.  A.  ? " 


282      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

X 


firi     Li    i  k  ti  .-  M 

-l  1     ' 


"  /  went  forward  to  see  the  Head  Hunters.  I  sez  to  'em 
1  I've  hearn  of  your  doin's  and  I  want  to  advise  you  for 
your  good.'  "  (See  page  281) 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS     283 

They  kinder  jabbered  over  sunthin'  to  them- 
selves, and  I  sez  as  I  turned  away,  "Now,  don't 
let  me  hear  of  any  more  such  doin's!  Be  con- 
tented with  the  heads  you've  got,  and  don't 
try  to  git  somebody  elses  that  don't  belong  to 
you."  Sez  I,  "Sunthin'  like  that,  namely 
stealin,  the  interior  of  folkses  heads,  has 
been  done  time  and  agin  among  more  civil- 
ized folks,  and  it  don't  work;  they  git  found 

out." 

I  left  'em  getisculatin'  and  jabberin'  in  that 
strange  lingo  and  am  in  hopes  they  wuz  prom- 
ism  to  quit  their  Head  Huntin',  but  can't  tell 
for  certain. 

As  I  santered  along  a  female  asked  me  if  I 
had  seen  the  Divin'  Girls,  sez  she,  "There  is  a 
immense  pond  of  water,  and  they  are  the  best 
divers  and  swimmers  in  the  world." 

But  I  sez,  "Nobody  can  dive  into  deeper 
depths  than  I  have  doven  to-day." 

"The  ocean?"  sez  she. 

"Oceans  of  anxiety,"  sez  I,  "rivers  of  grief." 
I  spoze  my  dretful  emotions  showed  on  my 
linement,  and  to  git  my  mind  off  she  sez,  "You 
ort  to  see  the  aligators." 

I'd  hearn  they  had  immense  tanks  of  water 
as  long  as  from  our  house  to  Philander  Dagget's, 


284      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

holdin'  thousands  and  thousands  and  thousands 
of  aligators,  from  them  jest  born,  to  them  a 
hundred  years  old,  from  them  the  size  of  your 
little  finger  weighin'  a  few  ounces,  to  them  big 
as  elephants,  weighin'  two  tons. 

But  I  told  her  I  could  worry  along  for  years 
without  aligators,  I  never  seemed  to  hanker  for 
'em,  I  wouldn't  take  'em  as  a  gift  if  I  had  to  let 
'em  have  the  run  of  the  house.  Humbly  things! 
though  I  spoze  they  hain't  to  blame  for  their 
looks,  or  their  temperses,  which  are  fierce.  And 
I  didn't  go  into  the  big  animal  house,  thinkin' 
I  wuz  so  dog  tired  that  I  would  go  back  to  Bil- 
dad's  and  come  back  the  next  day  and  see  all 
the  animals  and  birds  and  the  hundreds  of  other 
shows  I'd  had  to  slight  that  day,  enough  to 
devour  days  of  stiddy  sight  seein'.  The  Siege 
of  Richmond,  The  Great  Divide,  Switzerland, 
Congress  of  Nations,  Indian  Village,  The  Orient, 
Bathin'  Pavilions,  Japanese  Tea  Gardens,  and 
etc. 

I  did  want  to  see  the  Shimpanzee  who  duz 
everything  but  talk.  And  I  thought  mebby 
the  reason  he  wuz  so  close-mouthed  wuz  because 
he  hearn  so  much  talkin'  he  wuz  sick  on't,  as  I 
wuz,  and  made  a  sample  of  himself.  But  if 
he  did   nobody  follered   it,  no  indeed!     Why, 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    285 

you  jest  spozen  a  hundred  swarms  of  bees  big 
as  giants,  with  buzzes  big  according  all  a  swarmin' 
and  a  buzzin',  and  you'll  git  a  little  idee  of  the 
noise  and  tumult  of  Coney  Island.  But  you 
won't  spozen'  fur  enough,  I  don't  believe.  Yes, 
I  laid  out  to  spend  considerable  time  in  Dream- 
land next  day.  But  little  did  I  think  of  what  a 
day  might  bring  forth,  and  have  got  it  to  think 
on  like  them  that  lose  friends,  "Oh  why  didn't 
I  do  thus  and  so?  And  now  it  is  too  late  to  wait 
on  'em,  and  pay  attention  to  'em?"  But  I'm 
leadin'  a  melancholy  horse  up  to  a  mournin' 
wagon,  before  the  thills  are  on,  so  I'll  stop 
eppisodin'  and  resoom  forwards.  Jest  outside 
the  gate  of  Dreamland  I  met  Bildad,  and  he 
sez,  "Have  you  found  Josiah  yet?" 

"No,"  I  sez  in  despairin'  axents,  "I  hain't 
seen  hide  nor  hair  on  him." 

And  he  sez,  "Mebby  he's  gone  in  bathin'." 

"No,"  I  sez,  "He  took  a  bath  in  the  wash- 
tub  the  night  before  he  come  here,  and  he  hain't 
a  man  that  will  wash  oftener  than  he  has  to." 

Sez  he,  "Hundreds  of  folks  take  sand  baths, 
lay  in  the  sand  and  throw  it  at  each  other,  cover 
themselves  up  in  it." 

"What  for?"     I  sez. 

"Oh,  jest  for  fun.     They'll  go  into  the  water 


286      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

mebby,  and  then  come  ashore  and  roll  and  tum- 
ble in  the  sand,  men,  wimmen,  and  children, 
mostly  foreigners,"  sez  he. 

I  sez,  "It  don't  seem  as  if  Josiah  would  go 
into  that  bizness;  he  always  despised  sand." 

"Well,"  sez  he,  "as  I  come  by  there  jest  now, 
I  see  somebody  that  looked  like  Josiah,  goin' 
towards  the  beach  with  a  girl  by  him." 

I  turned  onto  my  heel  to  once  and  asked 
sternly,  "Where  is  that  beach?  And  where  is 
that  sand?"  He  told  me  and  I  made  for  it  to 
once.  I  hain't  got  a  jealous  hair  in  my  head, 
but  I  thought  I'd  go.  Well,  it  wuz  a  sight  to 
see,  acres  and  acres  of  sand  dotted  with  men, 
wimmen,  and  children.  And  beyond,  the  mel- 
ancholy ocean,  also  dotted  with  swimming 
heads,  with  bodies  attached,  so  I  spozed.  Well. 
might  Atlantic  be  melancholy  to  see  such  sights, 
hundreds  of  folks  comin'  out  of  the  water, 
hundreds  goin'  in,  and  other  hundreds  walkin' 
or  rollin'  in  the  sand  or  throwin'  it  at  each  other 
or  half  covered  up  with  it. 

And  as  for  the  clothes  they  had  on,  I  thought 
no  wonder  the  Ocean  and  I  sithed  to  see  it,  no 
money  would  tempt  me  to  wear  'em  to  mill  or 
meetin',  or  to  let  Josiah  wear  'em.  They  didn't 
look   decent.     Either    they   wuz    scrimped    for 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      287 


E: 


/*  wi«  a  jjgfo  to  /«,  acres  and  acres  of  sand  dotted  with 
men,  toimmen,  and  children.  {See  page  286) 


288      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

cloth,  or  they  wanted  to  look  so;  whichever 
way  it  wuz,  I  pitied  'em. 

But  where  wuz  Josiah?  On  every  side  wuz 
folks  settin'  and  walkin',  and  mounds  of  sand 
with  sometimes  a  head  stickin'  out,  or  a  foot, 
or  a  arm,  or  a  nose.  I  had  hard  work  to  keep 
from  treadin'  on  'em.  There  would  be  little 
hillocks  of  sand  with  mebby  a  child's  head  or 
foot  stickin'  out. 

Anon  a  mound  over  a  fat  man  or  a  woman 
big  as  a  hay  stack.  I  walked  along  for  some 
time  keepin'  a  clost  watch  on  every  side,  but 
no  Josiah  did  I  see  nor  no  mound  I  felt  wuz 
hisen,  till  jest  as  I  wuz  ready  to  drop  down  with 
fatigue  with  my  arjous  work  to  keep  from 
treadin'  on  folks,  I  ketched  sight  of  a  nose 
stickin'  out  of  a  small  mound  that  I  thought 
sure  I  reconized.  My  heart  bounded  at  the 
sight.  My  first  look  wuz  to  see  if  any  girl 
mound  wuz  nigh  him.  But  there  wuzn't  nothin' 
but  some  children's  heads  and  feet  stickin'  about, 
and  I  hastened  to  that  nose  and  poked  the  sand 
from  it  with  my  umbrell  cryin': 

"Dear  Josiah!  Is  this  indeed  your  nose? 
Have  I  found  you  at  last?" 

When  to  my  horrow  a  fierce  red  whiskered 
face  rared  itself  up  from  the  sand,  and  jabbored 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    289 

at  me  in  a  onknown  tongue;  onknown  the  words, 
but  the  language  of  anger  can  be  read  in  any 
tongue.  Hisen  betokened  the  most  intense  mad- 
ness, and  I  spoze  that  in  my  agitation  I  might 
have  jabbed  him  some  with  my  umbrell,  and  I 
hastened  away,  tromplin'  as  I  did  so  in  my 
haste  on  various  heads  and  arms,  and  follered  by 
loud  busts  of  what  I  most  know  wuz  blood  curd- 
lin'  profanity,  though  not  Jonesville  swearin'. 

Well,  I  wuz  tired  out  and  discouraged.  No 
Josiah,  no  pardner!  I  felt  some  like  a  grass 
widder,  or  I  guess  it  wuz  more  like  a  real 
widder.  'Tennyrate  my  feelin'swuz  too  awful 
to  describe,  so  lonesome,  so  cast-down  and 
deprested.  And  no  knowin'  as  I  would  ever 
feel  any  better,  no  knowin'  if  that  dear  man 
would  ever  be  found.  And  what  would  life 
be  without  him?  Nothin'  but  a  holler  mockery 
filled  with  movin'  shadders,  the  Reality  of  life 
gone  and  lost. 

Night  wuz  comin'  on  apace  and  I  thought  I 
might  as  well  abandon  my  quest  for  the  time, 
so  I  returned  to  Bildad's  feelin'  some  as  if  I 
wuz  a  sickly  serial  readin'  —  "To  be  continued 
in  our  next."  For  I  knowed  that  I  would  resoom 
the  search  bright  and  early,  and  find  that  man  or 
perish  in  my  tracks. 


29o      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

Friday  —  onlucky  day,  as  it  has  always  been 
called  —  had  gone  to  jine  the  days  of  the  past. 
I  sot  on  the  piazza  at  Bildad's  lookin'  out  on 
the  seen  that,  bewilderin'  as  it  wuz  by  daylight, 
vvuz  ten  times  more  bewilderinTy  beautiful  by 
night.  Like  stars  in  the  tropics,  the  electric 
lights  flashed  out  over  the  hull  place,  the  greatest 
number  of  electric  lights  in  the  same  space  in 
the  world,  I  wuz  told  and  believe. 

Every  pinnacle,  battlement,  tower,  balcony, 
winder,  ruff,  wuz  edged  with  the  blazin'  fire 
embroidery.  And  the  tall  mountains,  palaces, 
graceful  bridges,  piers,  pleasure  places  of  all 
kinds,  looked  fairy  like,  under  the  friendly  hand 
of  Night.  And  'way  up  to  the  very  heavens 
Dreamland  tower  lifted  itself,  a  gigantic  shaft 
of  dazzling  brilliancy,  dominatin'  the  hull  island. 
Passingly  beautiful  tower  by  night  or  day,  the 
first  thing  the  home-sick  mariner  sees  as  he 
approaches  his  Homeland. 

Thousands  and  thousands  and  thousands  of 
gay  pleasure  seekers  trod  the  walks  to  and  fro. 
Thousands  and  thousands  more,  rich  and  poor 
dined  in  the  gay  restaurants  and  balconies, 
surrounded  with  flowers  and  light  and  music. 
And  still  other  thousands  enjoyed  the  myriad 
amusements    afforded    them.     Bildad's    sister, 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    291 

who  wuz  on  a  visit  there  from  Hoboken,  thinks 
it  aristocratick,  and  herself  more  refined  and 
rare  to  run  the  place  down.  Lots  of  folks  do 
that;  they  go  there  and  stay  from  mornin'  till 
night,  go  up  in  the  Awful  Tower,  take  in  every 
Bump-de-Bump  and  Wobble-de-Wobble,  and 
then  turn  up  their  noses  talkin'  to  outsiders 
about  it,  as  fur  as  their  different  noses  will  turn. 
She  was  lame  at  the  time  from  tromplin'  all  over 
the  place  for  the  past  week.  But  she  sez  to  me 
(with  her  nose  turned  up  as  fur  as  it  could, 
bein'  a  pug  to  start  with) : 

"It  is  Common  people  who  come  here  mostly." 
And  she  kinder  glared  at  me  as  if  mistrustin,  I 
wuz  one  of  'em. 

And  I  sez,  "Well,  you  know,  Lucindy,  who  it 
wuz  the  common  people  received  gladly,  and  who 
dwelt  among  them?  And  you  know  Lincoln 
said,  "It  must  be  the  Lord  liked  the  common 
people,  He  made  so  many  on  'em." 

She  didn't  reply,  only  with  her  nose,  which 
looked  disdainful.  And  I  sez  to  myself  in 
astonishment,  "Can  this  be  Samantha,  praisin' 
up  what  she  has  always  run  down?"  But  I 
had  to  own  up  to  myself  that  though  I  had  seen 
many  places  more  congenial  to  me,  yet  I  wuz 
glad  that  so  many  people,  some  of  'em  cut  off 


292      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

from  the  beauty  of  life,  could  come  here  quickly 
and  easily,  and  forgit  their  cares  and  toil  for 
awhile,  and  go  home  refreshed  and  ready  to 
take  up  their  burdens  agin.  And  the  children, 
God  bless  them!  I  knowed  it  wuz  indeed  to 
them,  the  big  Wonder  Place,  and  beauty  spot 
of  the  world  and  their  life. 


CHAPTER    EIGHTEEN 

Josiah  found  at  last!  The  awful 
fire  in  Dreamland  and  the 
terrible  sights  I  saw  there 


CHAPTER    EIGHTEEN 

JOSIAH  FOUND  AT  LAST!  THE  AWFUL  FIRE 
AT  DREAMLAND  AND  THE  TERRIBLE 
SIGHTS    I    SAW    THERE 

I  DIDN'T  go  out  that  evenin',  weariness  and 
rumatiz  both  kep  me  to  home  a  settin'  on 
that  piazza.  And  in  vain  for  me  did  the 
countless  lights  burn  and  blaze.  The  great 
tower  that  lighted  up  the  deep  breast  of  the 
Atlantic,  for  milds  and  milds,  couldn't  light  up 
my  gloomy  sperit. 

Where  wuz  my  Josiah  ?  Where  wuz  the  pard- 
ner  of  my  youth?  In  vain  did  the  melogious 
music  blare  out  its  loudest  blares,  it  brought  no 
bam  to  my  sperit.  I  sot  and  looked  on  the 
countless  hosts  passin'  by  as  if  they  wuzn't 
there,  the  man  I  loved  wuz  not  among  'em. 
I  sot  there  lost  in  mournful  thought  till  the 
endless  crowd  gradually  dispersed.  The  music 
ceased,  the  lights  went  out.  The  hand  of  Mid- 
night let  down  her  dark  mantilly  of  repose, 
spangled  with  stars,  Silence  sot  on  the  throne 
Noise  had  vacated. 

295 


296      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

The  great  City  of  Mirth  wuz  asleep.  Only 
the  Atlantic  and  Samantha  seemed  awake,  the 
Ocean's  deep  voice  sounded  out  in  the  same 
ontranslated  language  it  has  from  the  creation, 
and  will  I  spoze  till  there  is  no  more  sea.  On- 
translated  to  most,  but  to  me  it  thundered  out, 
Swish !  —  Swosh !  —  Roar !  Where  is  Josiah  ? 
Where  is  Josiah?  Where?  Where?  Swish!  — 
Swosh!  —  Roar! 

I  didn't  want  to  go  to  bed,  but  knowed  I 
needed  rest  for  another  arjous  day  of  Husband 
huntin'.  I  retired  to  bed  but  not  to  sleep. 
Anxiety  and  Grief  lay  on  both  sides  on  me  and 
crowded  me,  and  prodded  me  with  their  sharp 
elbows. 

But  I  spoze  I  must  have  droze  off,  for  all  to 
once  I  wuz  passin'  through  a  great  silent  city. 
Hours  and  hours  I  trod  up  and  down  broad  stun 
highways,  through  endless  parks  and  Pleasure 
Places,  climbin'  interminable  flights  of  marble 
stairs,  walkin'  through  immense  picture  galleries. 
Days  and  days  went  by,  whilst  I  wuz  conductin' 
this  quest  through  a  deserted  city,  searchin'  for 
sunthin'  I  couldn't  name.  Till  at  last  I  lay 
wore  out,  on  a  couch,  and  Josiah  wuz  bendin' 
over  me.  He  had  a  small  green  hat  sot  rakishly 
on  one  side,  a  red  neck-tie  flashed  out,  a  immense 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    297 

cigar  wuz  in  his  mouth,  out  of  which  streamed 
a  flame  of  fire.  As  he  bent  over  me,  and  I  see 
his  dissolute  linement  and  mean,  I  groaned  out, 
"Oh  Josiah,  is  it  thus  we  meet?" 

"We  meet  as  Highlariers!"  sez  he  gayly, 
and  bent  still  closter,  I  spozed  he  wuz  goin' 
to  kiss  me.  And  so  philosophical  is  my  mind 
asleep  or  awake,  I  thought  even  then,  the  law 
couldn't  touch  him  for  it  if  he  did.  But  before 
his  face  met  mine,  that  immense  flaming  cigar  sot 
fire  to  the  piller  case.  The  flames  riz  up  round 
me,  the  smoke  entered  my  nostrils  and  nose. 

I  sprung  up.  Josiah  had  disappeared,  but 
the  smell  of  fire  remained.  I  hurried  to  the  win- 
der. As  I  had  last  seen  it  all  the  great  pleas- 
ure ground  seemed  fast  asleep.  Gone  wuz  the 
tread  of  the  innumerable  multitude.  The  music 
of  the  bands  wuz  hushed,  the  cries  of  the  differ- 
ent venders  and  showmen,  automobiles,  wagons, 
the  stiddy  sound  of  machinery  running  the 
mechanical  amusements,  and  the  constant  sound 
of  footsteps  and  voices,  that  filled  the  day  full, 
wuz  all  hushed.  Even  to  the  long  onshapely 
animal  house  Night  had  brought  silence.  The 
hull  place  looked  like  a  City  of  Dreams,  only 
the  eternal  waves  washin'  up  on  the  beach, 
seemed  to  emphasize  the  silence. 


298      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

But  what  wuz  that  I  see  over  the  dim  ruffs? 
A  slender  spiral  of  flame  shootin'  up  through 
the  shadows,  and  on  Dreamland  tower  a  rosy- 
blush  seemed  to  grow  on  its  whiteness.  As  I 
watched  the  flame,  it  grew  larger  and  larger, 
and  my  heart  most  stopped  beatin',  for  I 
knowed  what  a  fire  would  mean  in  them  un- 
substantial buildin's.  And  somewhere  there 
under  them  flimsy  ruffs  was  my  Josiah! 

The  flame  increased!  Coney  Island  wuz 
afire!  Made  sensitive  by  anxiety,  I  had  rec- 
onized  the  smoke  borne  to  me  on  some  va- 
grant breeze. 

The  long  elaborate  dream  of  mine  hadn't 
lasted  a  second.  It  wuz  staged  in  the  real 
Dream  Land,  for  the  awful  drayma  so  soon  to 
be  enacted  there,  by  the  terrible  actor,  Fire! 
The  most  fearful  and  tragic  actor  on  the  hull 
stage  of  life. 

Fire!  Fire!  Fire! 

Thus  did  I  scream  as  I  throwed  on  my  clothes, 
I  thought  at  the  top  of  my  voice,  but  I  don't 
spoze  it  wuz  much  above  a  whisper,  for  Bildad's 
folks  didn't  hear  me  in  the  next  room,  through 
the  thin  wall,  till  I  rushed  to  their  door  and 
knocked,  cryin'  out: 

"Bildad,  git  up!  Josiah  is  afire!" 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    299 

"What  you  say?"  he  called  back. 

"Dreamland  is  afire!  Josiah  is  in  danger! 
But  I  will  save  him  or  perish!"  And  I  ketched 
up  a  two  quart  pail  of  water,  and  rushed  out 
doors.  You  can't  recall  your  exact  thoughts 
at  such  a  time,  yet  I  have  a  ricellection  of  think- 
in'  —  Josiah  is  small  boneded,  and  two  quarts 
of  water  might  put  him  out  if  he  had  jest  got 
afire.  But  where  wuz  the  idol  of  mv  soul?  I 
spoze  every  woman  on  Coney  Island  thought 
them  thoughts  whether  she  remembers  it  or  not. 
Where  is  he}  Will  he  escape?  And  men  wuz 
thinkin',  Where  is  she:  Is  she  safe?  Love 
puts  the  question,  and  Fear  and  Horrer  an- 
swers it. 

As  I  rushed  along  cryin'  Fire!  winders  wuz 
throwed  up,  doors  opened,  and  in  less  time  than 
I  can  tell  on't,  Surf  Avenue  wuz  full  of  people. 
Frenzied  cries  and  shouts  rung  through  the  air. 
And  as  the  flames  riz  higher  and  higher,  so  did 
the  shrieks  and  yells  of  the  crowd,  which  had 
swelled  to  a  mob;  bells  clanged,  fire  wagons 
raced  and  jangled. 

Quicker  than  any  seen  wuz  ever  changed  at 
a  theatre  the  Quiet  Night  wuz  turned  into 
Pandemonium.  Men,  wimmen  and  children 
rushm'  every  which  way  —  police  —  firemen  — 


300      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

fire  bells  clangin,  —  men  shoutin'  —  wimmen 
shriekin'  —  and  every  minute  the  flames  in- 
creased ! 

The  firemen  did  what  they  could,  they  worked 
like  giants,  but  the  element  they  wuz  workin' 
aginst  wuz  more  powerful  than  man.  Anon 
burnin'  timbers  fell  with  a  crash,  clouds  of 
smoke  wropped  us  round  and  choked  us,  the 
firemen  sent  up  streams  of  water  that  turned  to 
mountains  of  steam. 

I  wuz  carried  by  the  screechin'  mob  hither 
and  yon  with  no  will  of  my  own.  Another 
element  wuz  added  to  the  dretful  seen.  Some- 
one cried  out: 

"The  wild  animals  are  loose!" 

Wimmen  fainted,  and  men,  wimmen  and  chil- 
dren screamed  louder  than  ever,  expectin'  any 
minute  a  tiger  or  lion  or  leapord  to  rush  at  'em, 
or  a  maddened  elephant  to  tromple  'em  down. 

They  said  the  sight  at  that  time  in  the  animal 
house  wuz  enough  to  turn  the  soundest  brain, 
for  to  save  the  animals  they  had  to  let  'em  loose. 
And  as  they  couldn't  be  driven  out,  at  last  it 
wuz  a  great  writhin',  strugglin'  mass  of  animal 
forms  appallin'  to  see,  while  the  ears  wuz  deaf- 
ened by  the  maddened  cries  of  leapords  and 
hyenas  —  the  wild  jabberin'  of  monkeys,  snarlin' 


AXD  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    301 

and  growlin'  of  panthers,  tigers  and  bears,  roarin' 
of  lions  —  hybrids  —  hissin'  of  serpents  —  pitiful 
frightened  neighing  of  ponies,  trumpetin'  of 
elephants.  A  great  screamin',  roarin,  hissin', 
writhin',  fightin'  mass! 

But  as  they  refused  to  be  driven  to  safety, 
the  keepers  after  heroic  efforts  to  save  'em,  give 
'em  a  more  merciful  death.  It  took  fur  greater 
heroism  to  do  this,  for  some  of  'em  wuz  dear 
pets,  and  it  wuz  like  slayin'  their  own  children, 
and  they  aimed  their  revolvers  at  'em  through 
tearful  eyes. 

A  bareheaded  bystander  sez,  "The  fire  started 
in  Hell  Gate." 

Sez  I,  "Jest  what  you  could  expect  of  that 
place,  I  never  hearn  no  good  of  it  yet." 

But  the  wild  crowd  surged  to  and  fro.  Earth 
and  Heaven  seemed  filled  with  the  dretful  roar 
and  confusion  — 

It  wuz  a  riot  of  deafenin'  noise  and  clamor 
below,  and  fur  fur  above,  Dreamland  Tower 
flamed  up  a  immense  pillar  of  fire,  blazin'  out  for 
the  last  time  over  sea  and  land,  and  with  a  dyin' 
effort  at  decoration,  crashed  down,  sendin'  up 
a  shower  of  golden  sparks  a  hundred  feet  high. 

Jest  then  a  woman  sez,  "The  little  Incubator 
Babies  have  been  forgotten." 


302      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

"Not  by  me!"  I  sez,  and  I  strove  to  push  my 
way  towards  'em,  the  woman  toilin'  along  by 
my  side  through  the  inferno  of  clamor,  steam, 
smoke,  and  shriekin'  rushin'  humanity.  But 
jest  before  we  got  there  we  met  the  good  doctors 
and  nurses  who  wuz  bearin'  'em  to  safety,  and 
I  sez  to  the  woman,  "It  will  be  a  shame  if  them 
helpless  mites  are  ever  brought  back  to  this 
place  of  danger." 

"Danger!"  the  words  rousted  up  afresh  my 
agonized  fears.  Where  wuz  Josiah?  Where 
wuz  my  idol  ?  The  woman  tried  to  comfort  me, 
for  I  wuz  now  cryin'  aloud,  and  callin'  on  his 
name. 

She  sez,  "He  will  escape;  men  can  git  round 
so  much  easier  than  wimmen." 

"Have  you  a  husband  in  this  dretful  place?" 
sez  I. 

"No,"  sez  she,  "only  their  dust,  I  have  got 
three  in  a  vase  on  my  mantle  piece  in  Surf  Ave- 
nue." Instinctively  I  thought  "she'd  had  hus- 
bands to  burn,  but  some  wimmen  can't  get  one 
to  save  their  lives,  and  them  that  get  one  can't 
keep  track  on  him." 

But  I  d'no  whether  she  saved  her  vase  or  not, 
for  we  wuz  parted  by  the  hustlin',  tearin', 
scramblin'  mob,  and  I  wuz  carried  in  another 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    303 

direction,  choked  and  blinded,  and  tossted  and 
torn. 

I  hearn  someone  say,  "Black  Prince  is  loose, 
the  biggest  lion  of  all!"  And  sure  enough,  wild 
and  crazy  with  the  fiery  heat  and  noise,  the  great 
beast  rushed  up  and  down,  the  crowd  givin'  him 
the  Right  of  Way.  And  at  last  he  dim'  up  onto 
a  battlement  and  looked  down  on  the  mad  seen 
below,  the  shoutin'  yellin'  mob  bore  me  onwards, 
so  I  stood  only  a  sum's  throw  from  the  spot. 

Never  agin  will  there  be  such  a  seen  presented 
to  the  eye  of  man,  as  that  kingly  form,  standin' 
up  above  the  crowd  aginst  the  background  of 
lurid  flame. 

But  who  wuz  that  standin'  directly  beneath, 
in  the  very  middle  of  danger  ?  My  heart  bounded 
so  it  most  broke  through  my  bodist  waist. 

Did  I  not  know  that  small  boneded  figger? 
That  bald  head  lit  up  by  the  glare  of  flames? 
It  wuz!  it  wuz  Josiah!  My  pardner-huntin' 
wuz  ended,  but  wuz  it  to  be  death  at  the  gole? 
That  agonizin'  thought  made  me  by  the  side 
of  myself,  and  entirely  onbeknown  to  me  I 
rushed  forwards  and  cried  to  the  lordly  beast 
above,  jest  ready  to  spring: 

"Don't  harm  Josiah!     Devour  me  instead!" 

I  knowed  I  would  make  a  better  meal  for  it; 


304      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

2*k    *^ 


UI  rushed  forwards  and  cried  to  the  lordly  beast  above,  jest 
ready  to  spring :  l  Don't  harm  Josiah !  Devour  me 
instead'  "  (See  page  303) 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    305 

Josiah  is  lean  and  boney.  But  I  won't  try  to 
make  myself  out  better  than  I  am;  I  didn't 
think  of  the  lion's  digestion,  and  how  Josiah 
would  set  on  his  stomach.  My  only  thought 
wuz  to  save  my  pardner.  And  with  a  hercu- 
laneum  effort  I  reached  his  side,  and  snatched 
him  away  jest  as  a  shot  rung  out  and  the  noble 
beast  fell,  his  great,  shaggy  head  restin'  on  the 
balustrade,  lookin'  down  on  the  crowd  below  as 
if  in  questionin'  agony  and  contempt,  as  though 
his  last  thoughts  wuz: 

"Did  you  tear  me  away  from  my  own  free, 
beautiful,  tropical  forest  for  such  a  fate  as  this? 
Where  is  man's  boasted  wisdom  and  power? 
I  could  have  cared  for  myself,  lived  and  died 
in  happiness  and  safety,  but  civilized  man  has 
ruined  and  destroyed  the  wild  beast." 

The  rest  of  that  seen  is  like  a  dream  to  me.  I 
guess  when  the  heavy  dread  and  fear  I  had 
carried  so  long,  wuz  lifted  from  my  brain,  it 
made  me  light-headed.  'Tennyrate,  it  don't 
seem  as  if  I  come  fully  to  myself,  till  Josiah  and 
I  wuz  takin'  leave  at  Bildad's  with  tickets  for 
Jonesville  in  our  pockets. 

The  agony  I  had  went  through  there,  and  my 
joy  in  his  recovery  wuz  such,  that  I  didn't  throw 


306      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

Josiah's  waywardness  in  his  face  (not  much  of 
any).  But  if  you'll  believe  it  —  and  I  don't 
spoze  you  will  —  he  turned  the  tables  'round, 
and  blamed  me.  That  is  often  done  by  pardners 
of  both  sects,  when  they  feel  real  guilty,  to  try 
to  draw  attention  off  their  own  misdoin's,  by 
findin'  fault  with  their  pardners.  It  has  been 
done  time  and  agin,  and  I  spoze  will  be,  as  long 
as  man  is  man,  and  woman  is  woman. 

When  I  told  him  that  I  rid  down  there  with 
Deacon  Gansey,  that  man  acted  jealous  and 
mad  as  a  hen.  He  never  liked  him,  they  fell 
out  years  ago  about  a  rail  fence,  and  wuz  hurt. 
But  now  he  acted  furious,  and  his  last  words  to 
Bildad  wuz: 

"I  want  you  to  have  a  funeral  for  Deacon 
Gansey  before  I  see  you  agin,  and  I'll  pick  out 
the  him  I  want  you  to  sing  at  his  funeral: 

"  Believein',  we  rejoice, 
To  see  the  cuss  removed." 

But  I  spoke  right  up  and  sez,  "Don't  you 
bury  him  till  he  is  dead,  Bildad,  no  matter  who 
tells  you  to." 

And  Josiah  didn't  like  that,  or  acted  as  if  he 
didn't;  mebby  he  wuz  subterfugin'  to  draw  off 
attention.     Truly,    pardners    is    a    mysterious 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    307 

problem,  and  it  takes  sights  of  wisdom  and 
patience  to  solve'  em,  and  sometimes  you  can't 
git  the  right  answer  to  'em  then,  male  or  female. 
As  we  left  Surf  Avenue  I  looked  back  on  the 
blackened  ruins  of  what  had  been  the  fair  City 
of  Dreamland,  the  broken  totterin'  remains  of 
that  glorious  tower,  the  black  tangled  masses 
of  iron  and  steel,  the  ruins  of  the  great  animal 
house  mixed  with  the  ashes  of  a  hundred  and 
twenty  animals,  and  I  see  with  my  mind's  eye 
that  great  flat  plain  of  blackened  ruins,  all  cleared 
away,  and  green  velvety  grass,  and  trees,  and 
fountains  sprayin'  over  shrubs,  and  flowers, 
and  white  smooth  paths  windin'  through  the 
bloom  and  verdure  clear  down  to  the  clean  sand 
of  the  water's  verge.  And  the  high  fence  of 
Exclusion  that  shets  them  from  other  fair  parks 
along  the  shore  removed,  thousands  and  thou- 
sands and  thousands  of  happy  children  playin' 
there  in  the  pure  air,  takin'  in  in  one  summer 
day  enough  strength  to  last  'em  through  a 
crowded,  suffocatin',  weary  week.  And  grown 
folks,  rich  and  poor,  tired  of  city  sights  and 
sounds,  strollin'  about  or  settin'  on  comfortable 
seats  lookin'  off  on  the  water,  or  watchin'  the 
play  of  their  children,  the  fresh  air  blowin' 
some  of  their  cares  and  troubles  away. 


CHAPTER    NINETEEN 

We  return  to  "Jonesville  and 
jfosiab  builds  Tirzah  Ann 's 
cottage  with  strange  inventions 
and  additions 


CHAPTER    NINETEEN 

WE  RETURN  TO  JONES VI LLE  AND  JOSIAH 
BUILDS  TIRZAH  ANN'S  COTTAGE  WITH 
STRANGE    INVENTIONS  AND    ADDITIONS 

I  TOLD  Josiah  I  hoped  my  vision  would 
come  true,  and  they  would  make  an 
open  park  of  Dreamland,  so  the  millions 
who  visit  Coney  Island  could  git  a  good 
look  at  Mom  Nater  and  old  Ocean.  "And 
heaven  knows,"  sez  I,  "there  would  be  amuse- 
ments enough  left  in  Luny,  and  Steeple  Chase 
Park,  and  other  resorts  all  along  the  shore." 
And  he  said  he  didn't  care  a  dum  what  they  did 
with  it.  Sez  he,  "They  needn't  build  it  up  on  my 
account,  for  I  won't  patronize  'em  any  more!" 
And  I  told  him,  "I  guessed  he  wouldn't  be  missed, 
specially  Sundays  and  holidays."  And  he  said, 
"  Miss  me  or  not,  they  needn't  try  to  git  me  there 
agin,  and  they  may  jest  as  well  give  up  hopin' 
to,  first  as  last." 

Sez  I,  "Can't  you  be  megum,  Josiah?     You 
wuz  all  carried  away  with  it,  and  now  you're 

3" 


3i2      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

turned  agin  it;  what  makes  you  turn  so  fur? 
Can't  you  see  the  good  side  to  it?" 

"No,  I  can't,  and  won't!" 

So  we  went  home  some  like  the  Baptist  and 
the  Methodist  who  had  a  public  meetin'  to 
argy  their  two  beliefs,  on  which  they  wuz  dretful 
sot,  and  they  converted  each  other,  so  the  Bap- 
tist went  home  a  Methodist,  and  the  Methodist 
a  Baptist. 

I'd  been  considerable  sot  agin  it,  but  I  went 
home  with  the  eye  of  my  spectacles  able  to  look 
on  both  sides.  The  side  I  didn't  like,  that  it 
shares  with  other  Pleasure  Resorts.  And  its 
good  side,  as  a  care  lightener,  and  diversion  to 
toil.  And  a  golden  Pleasure  House  to  the 
millions  of  children  who  go  there  every  year, 
many  of  'em  poor  children  who  get  there  their 
only  glimpse  of  rest  and  light  hearted  enjoyment. 

But  my  dear  pardner  can't  be  megum;  that 
quality  wuz  left  out  when  he  wuz  manufactured. 
And  now  if  anyone  sez  Coney  Island,  he  starts 
for  the  barn. 

Serenus  come  home  a  few  days  after  we  did. 
He'd  been  on  the  Bowery  of  Coney  Island  that 
night,  Josiah  havin'  refused  to  go  to  such  a  low- 
down  place  with  him.  So  as  it  often  is  in  this 
strange  world,  the  wrong-doer  comes  out  ahead, 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    313 

for  the  present.  He  made  a  night  of  it  with 
Jim  Cobb  a  rural  cousin,  and  not  a  hair  of  his 
head  wuz  scorched,  nor  the  smell  of  fire  on  his 
garments. 

But  I  wuz  proud  that  Josiah  withstood  temp- 
tation, and  told  him  that  I  would  ruther  he  had 
got  afire,  and  burned  considerable,  than  had  him 
yield  to  the  tempter. 

I  myself  never  sot  foot  on  the  Bowery;  I 
wuzn't  goin'  to  nasty  up  my  mind  with  it,  though 
I  hearn  there  wuz  some  good  things  to  be  seen 
there.  Folks  told  me  I'd  ort  to  gone  to  Brigh- 
ton, and  Atlantic  City,  and  see  the  milds  of 
beautiful  Pleasure  places  along  the  ocean,  but 
I  sez,  "I  thank  you,  but  I've  seen  enough," 
though  there  wuz  sights  there  that  I  would 
loved  to  see. 

Among  'em  wuz  that  Mother's  Camp,  where 
thousands  and  thousands  of  poor  children  and 
their  mas  go  to  spend  a  day  in  the  bracin' 
atmosphere.  And  the  children  have  pure  milk, 
and  their  mas  good  tea,  and  they  can  go  there 
day  after  day  all  they  want  to.  How  the  chil- 
dren look  forward  to  it,  and  their  mas  too. 

The  goodness  and  helpfulness  of  such  places 
along  the  beach,  wrops  their  bright  mantillys 
over  some  of  the  other  places  not  so  good  and 


3H      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 


"/  myself  never  sot  foot  on  the  Bowery;  I  zouz'nt  goin*  to 
nasty  up  my  mind  with  it,  though  I  he  am  there  wwl 
some  good  things  to  be  seen  there  "  (See  page  jjj) 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    315 

makes  folks  more  lenitent  to  'em,  as  they  endure 
a  poor  husband  for  the  sake  of  his  good  wife, 
and  visey  versey. 

A  few  days  after  we  got  home,  Josiah 
took  Penstock  and  they  sot  off  for  a  two 
weeks'  stay  at  Shadow  Island.  And  a  few 
days  after  they  got  there  he  writ  me  that  they 
had  broke  ground  for  the  cottage.  And  that 
very  day  I  got  my  feet  wet  down  to  the  creek 
paster  huntin'  for  a  turkey's  nest,  and  come 
down  with  inflamatory  rumatiz,  and  couldn't 
walk  a  step  for  upwards  of  four  weeks,  and  Ury's 
wife  come  and  took  care  on  me.  My  head  felt 
bad  too,  Coney  Island  had  been  too  much  for 
me  — 

Well,  Josiah  would  come  home  Sundays  all 
wrought  up  and  enthusiastick  boastin'  what  a 
model  house  it  wuz,  jest  perfect,  and  what  new 
and  magnificent  discoveries  he  had  made  to 
lighten  labor,  which  he  wuz  goin'  to  git  patented 
and  probable  make  our  everlastin'  fortune,  as 
well  as  make  Tirzah  Ann  perfectly  happy.  ^  And 
I'd  set  with  my  foot  on  a  piller,  and  hear  him  go 
on  and  forebode  and  forebode,  and  I  groaned 
more  about  the  house  than  I  did  with  the  pain 
in  my  lim,  though  that  wuz  fearful. 

Well,  after  it  had  been  goin'  on  for  about  four 


316      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

weeks,  one  Saturday  when  he  come  home  over 
Sunday,  he  said  the  house  wuz  all  up  and  nearin' 
completion,  and  he  carried  the  idee  if  he  did'nt 
come  right  out  and  say  it,  that  there  wuzn't  a 
mansion  in  the  New  Jerusalem  that  went  ahead 
on't.  My  rumatiz  and  head  wuz  quite  a  little 
better,  and  he  proposed  that  I  should  go  back 
with  him  Monday  mornin'  on  a  short  tower  and 
see  the  house,  and  be  a  humble  witness  and 
admirer  of  his  glorious  triumph  (he  didn't  say 
these  words  right  out  but  carried  the  idee  plain 
in  his  linement,  and  hauty  demeanor).  Well, 
I  concluded  to  go,  and  Philury  bandaged  up  my 
lim  in  soft  flannel  moistened  with  anarky,  and 
packed  various  bottles  of  linement,  etc.,  in  my 
portmanty  and  Ury  took  us  to  the  train. 

Well  I  will  pass  over  our  voyage  to  Shadow 
Island,  but  in  the  fullness  of  time  we  arrove 
there,  and  stood  in  front  of  the  cottage.  The 
seen  all  round  it  wuz  fair  indeed,  but  the  struc- 
ture looked  queer,  queer  as  a  dog.  There  wuz 
piazzas  and  porticos,  and  ornament  piled  on 
ornament  cropped  out  on  every  side.  It  wuz 
weighted  down  with  cheap  little  sawed  out 
peaks  and  pints,  and  triangles  perforated  with 
holes  for  ornaments,  but  the  hull  thing  looked 
shiftless,  tippin'  and  lop  sided.     I  stood  lookin' 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    317 

at  it  in  silence  for  a  long  time,  it  looked  so  queer 
that  it  sort  o'  stunted  and  brow  beat  me,  and  my 
first  words  wuz  spoke  as  much  to  my  own  soul 
as  to  my  companion,  "It  looks  strange,  passin' 
strange!" 

"Yes,"  sez  Josiah,  "hain't  it  a  uneek  plan?" 

"Yes,"  sez  I,  "a  uneeker  one  wuz  never  seen 
on  this  planet."  And  agin  I  seemed  to  lose 
myself  in  strange  emotions,  it  looked  so  awful, 
a  kind  of  or  mingled  with  my  indignation  and 
regret. 

"Nobody  will  steal  them  idees!"  sez  he 
proudly. 

"No,"  sez  I  sadly,  "you're  safe  from  that." 
And  I  sez,  as  I  looked  up  at  the  queer,  lop  sided, 
flighty,  vain  thing,  "It  leans  over  considerable, 
Josiah  Allen,  it  is  very  tippin'." 

He  looked  worried,  but  sez  in  a  sort  of  apology 
way,  "I  had  it  lean  over  one  side  on  account 
of  havin'  rain  water  dripp  offen  the  eaves,  and 
have  the  snow  slide  off  in  drifty  times.  Ruffs 
have  been  known  to  fall  in,  and  I  wanted  to 
ensure  Tirzah  Ann's  havin'  a  ruff  over  her  head 
anyway." 

Agin  I  looked  on  in  solemn  or,  and  sez  won- 
derin'ly,  "What  will  Tirzah  Ann  say  when  she 
sees  it?" 


3i8      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

"I  don't  care/'  sez  he,  "what  she  sez!  if  she 
don't  like  it  she  can  lump  it!" 

But  I  could  see  that  the  tippin'  sides  wuz  done 
through  a  mistake,  and  he  wuz  tryin'  to  cover 
it  up  with  a  mantilly  of  bravado  and  boastful- 
ness.  I  agin  kep'  silence  for  quite  a  spell,  and 
my  next  words,  so  fur  as  I  remember  'em,  wuz, 
"Where  is  the  suller?" 

He  stood  agast  and  repeated,  "The  suller!" 
He  looked  perfectly  dumb-foundered  but  wuzn't 
goin'  to  give  in  he  made  a  mistake,  it  wuz  too 
mortifyin'  to  his  pride,  so  sez  he  in  faint  axents: 

"I  laid  out  to  build  it  after  the  house  wuz 
done."  Sez  I,  "What  wuz  you  goin'  to  do  with 
the  dirt?" 

"Why,  I  laid  out,"  sez  he  lookin'  helplessly 
round  for  a  excuse,  "I  laid  out  to  bring  it  up  in 
baskets,"  and  he  went  on  brightenin'  up  as  a 
idee  struck  him  — "I've  observed,  Samantha, 
that  dirt  is  handy  for  house  plants,  or  to  plant 
seeds  in  the  spring  of  the  year." 

Sez  I  dryly,  "I  guess  three  or  four  hundred 
wagon  loads  won't  be  needed  for  house  plants, 
and  after  Tirzah  Ann  sees  all  that  dirt  lugged 
up  her  suller  stairs  and  through  her  kitchen  she 
won't  have  much  time  or  ambition  for  posies." 

"Well,"  sez  he,  a  bright  idee  occurrin'  to  him. 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS      319 


The  sutler!'  He  stood  agast,  perfectly  dumb-foundered  but 
zvuzn't  goin'  to  give  in  he  had  made  a  mistake.  It 
zvuz  too  mortifying  to  his  pride.  (See  page  318) 


32o      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

"it  will  be  a  first  rate  job  for  the  men  to  do  rainy 
days.  In  buildin'  a  house  there  hain't  much  a 
man  can  do  durin'  a  hard  thunder  storm,  or  hail 
storm,  but  they  can  go  right  on  with  the  suller 
jest  as  well  as  though  it  wuz  a  sunshiny  day. 
That  is  one  great  thing  that  architects  have 
heretofore  overlooked,  work  that  men  can  do 
durin'  cyclones  —  I  have  met  that  want,"  sez 
he  proudly. 

"I  should  think  as  much,"  sez  I  mekanically, 
for  my  thoughts  wuzn't  there,  they  wuz  afar 
with  Tirzah  with  her  poor  health,  and  the  blow 
that  had  got  to  come  onto  her,  when  she  see  this 
thing  that  wuz  rared  up  in  front  of  me. 

Well,  I  went  round  to  the  kitchen  door,  the 
winders  all  seemed  sot  in  tottlin'  and  shaky, 
and  my  pen  fails  me  to  tell  the  looks  of  them 
back  door  steps,  they  wuz  very  high  here,  for 
the  land  sloped  off  sudden,  but  suffice  it  to  say 
that  I  wouldn't  trust  even  one  foot  on  'em  for 
a  dollar  bill.  There  wuz  a  great  long  concern 
that  looked  like  a  huge  wooden  arm  that  come 
out  of  the  settin'  room  winder  on  that  side  and 
seemed  to  reach  down  to  the  water,  and  sez  I, 
"What,  for  the  land's  sake!  is  that?" 

"That,"  sez  he  proudly,  "is  the  crownin' 
work  of  my  life!  that  will  make  me  famous  and 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    321 

enormously  rich  when  it  becomes  known  to  the 
world.  That  is  a  attachment  to  hitch  onto  the 
sewin'  machine,  the  churn,  the  coffee  mill  or  any 
domestic  article  where  foot  or  hand  power  is 
used,  and  is  to  be  used  in  pumpin'  water." 

"Pumpin'  water!"  sez  I  coldly,  "what  for?" 

"Oh,  for  drinkin',  for  irrigating  or  for  any 
use  that  water  is  used  for,  puttin'  out  fires,  or 
anything." 

Sez  I  coldly,  "Do  you  spoze  that  Tirzah  Ann 
with  her  health,  is  goin'  to  set  at  her  sewin' 
machine  and  do  fine  sewin',  and  at  the  same  time 
pump  water  from  hour  to  hour?" 

"Yes,"  sez  he,  "and  hain't  it  a  beautiful 
thought,  how  it  will  add  to  her  sweet  content 
and  happiness  as  she  sets  sewin'  on  Whitfield's 
shirts,  and  thinkin'  at  the  same  time  she  is 
benefittin'  the  world  at  large,  quietly  and  un- 
ostentatiously sewin'  on  gussets,  and  makin' 
the  desert  blossom  like  a  rosy  all  round  her; 
how  happy  she  will  be,"  sez  he. 

Sez  I,  "It  is  a  crazy  idee!  crazy  as  a  loon! 
What  under  the  sun  w7ould  she  want  to  pump 
hundreds  and  hundreds  of  barrels  of  water 
for?  Half  a  barrel  would  last  'em  a  day  for  all 
their  work." 

He    murmured    sunthin'    about   a   fountain, 


322      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

that  might  be  sprayin'  up  in  the  front  yard,  and 
how  beautiful  it  would  be,  and  enjoyable. 

And  I  sez,  "Could  you  set  and  enjoy  yourself 
lookin'  on  a  fountain  risin'  up  and  dashin' 
jewels  of  spray  all  round  you,  and  thinkin'  that 
every  drop  wuz  bein'  pumped  up  by  the  weary 
feet  of  your  own  girl  by  your  first  wife?  That 
poor  delicate  little  creeter's  tired  feet,  toilin' 
on  hour  by  hour  and  day  by  day." 

He  looked  real  bad,  he  hadn't  thought  so  fur, 
and  I  went  on,  "  Don't  you  know  it  would  make 
the  sewin'  machine  go  so  hard  that  no  woman 
could  run  it  a  minute,  let  alone  for  days  and 
weeks?"  His  linement  fell  two  or  three  inches. 
I  see  he  gin  up  it  needed  more  strength  to 
run  it.  "And  it  looks  like  furiation  too," 
sez  I. 

"Look!"  He  snapped  out,  "What  do  you 
spoze  I  care  for  looks!" 

But  I  see  his  idees  wuz  all  broke  up,  as  well 
they  might  be,  Tirzah  Ann  pumpin'  water  all 
day  with  her  feet!  the  idee! 

Well,  out  on  one  side  of  the  house  I  see  a 
great  pile  of  bricks,  they  seemed  to  be  divided 
in  two  piles,  one  wuz  good  sound  bricks,  and  one 
wuz  broken  some,  and  I  sez,  "What  are  these 
bricks  divided  off  so  fur?" 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    323 

"That,"  sez  he,  "is  a  sample  of  how  men  see 
into  things." 
"How?"  sez  I. 

"Well,  Fll  tell  you."  And  he  went  on  proudly, 
as  if  glad  to  git  a  chance  to  show  off  how  fur 
seem'  and  eqinomical  he  wuz,  and  to  recover 
from  the  machinness  that  had  settled  down  on 
him  like  a  dark  mantilly,  while  we  discussed 
the  suller  and  pump  attachment. 

"I  got  them  bricks  at  a  bargain.  I  hain't 
got  enough  good  bricks  for  the  hull  chimbly, 
and  so  I'm  goin'  to  have  'em  begin  the  chimbly 
on  top  instead  of  the  usual  way  of  beginin'  at 
the  bottom,  and  then  I  can  see  jest  how  fur  my 
good  bricks  will  go." 

"How  be  you  goin'  to  make  the  top  bricks 
stay  up?"^  sez  I,  "a  layin'  up  on  nothin'?" 

"That  is  a  man's  work,"  sez  he,  "a  woman 
couldn't  understand  it  if  I  should  explain  it." 
No,"  sez  I,  "Heaven  knows  no  woman  on 
earth  would  ever  understand  that  idee!" 

Well,  all  I  could  do  he  would  go  that  very 
afternoon  and  engage  a  mason  to  do  the  work, 
build  the  chimbly  after  his  views,  beginin'  on 
top  instead  of  the  bottom.  But  though  deeply 
mortified  at  it,  that  wuz  jest  the  move  that  sot 
me  free  from  my  anxieties  about  the  house,  for 


324      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

the  mason,  who  wuz  a  great  case  for  a  joke, 
made  so  much  fun  of  the  idee,  and  of  the  hull 
structure,  that  my  companion  threw  up  the  hull 

job  and  told  me  that  the  house  might  go  to 

for  anything  he  cared.  I  will  never  tell  the  place 
he  said  the  house  might  go  to,  it  is  too  wicked 
to  even  think  on  calmly,  it  begun  with  an  H 
and  that  is  all  that  I  will  ever  tell  to  any- 
body. 

Well,  when  Whitfield  and  Tirzah  Ann  come 
back  from  Maine  and  went  to  Shadow  Island 
to  see  that  strange  queer  lookhV  buildin',  I  spoze 
Whitfield  laughed  till  his  sides  ached.  Tirzah 
cried,  they  say;  cried  partly  out  of  sentiment 
to  think  her  Pa  had  showed  such  affection  for 
her  as  to  build  the  cottage,  and  partly  because 
it  looked  so  awful,  it  made  her  hystericky. 

But  Whitfield  sobered  down,  and  when  he 
come  back  to  Jonesville  acted  good  to  Josiah, 
he  seemed  to  be  real  thankful  to  Josiah  and  me 
for  buildin'  it,  and  his  grateful,  affectionate  ways 
kinder  took  the  edge  offen  Josiah's  humiliation, 
but  then  he  would  probable  have  sprunted  up 
anyway  —  mortification  never  prayed  on  him 
for  more'n  a  short  time. 

Well,  the  end  on't  wuz,  Whitfield  hired  a  good 
carpenter  to  oversee  the  work,  and  some  strong 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    325 

workmen  who  wuz  able  to  lift  and  lug,  there  wuz 
plenty  of  lumber,  and  in  four  weeks  the  house 
wuz  transmogrified  into  a  good  lookin'  cottage. 
They  built  on  a  L,  I  believe  they  called  it,  which 
they're  to  use  as  a  store  room,  and  under  that 
Tirzah  Ann  is  to  have  her  suller,  Whitfield  wuzn't 
the  man  to  deprive  her  of  that  comfort.  And 
in  some  way  they  straightened  up  the  house, 
and  put  in  a  winder  here  and  there,  tore  off  lots 
of  the  ornaments,  but  left  on  some  of  the  piazzas, 
and  balconies,  and  things,  and  it  wuz  a  pretty 
and  commogious  lookin'  cottage.  They  painted 
the  hull  concern  a  soft  buff  color,  with  red  ruffs 
that  looked  real  picturesque  settin'  back  aginst 
the  dark  green  of  the  trees. 

And  sure  enough  the  first  week  in  September 
we  had  our  party  there.  It  wuzn't  a  surprise  — 
no,  Heaven  knows  the  surprise  wuz  when  we 
first  laid  eyes  on  the  house  as  Josiah  left  it  — 
but  it  wuz  a  very  agreable  party.  Tirzah  Ann 
did  well  by  us  in  cookin'  (of  course  we  helped 
her)  and  we  all  stayed  three  days  and  two 
nights;  Thomas  J.  and  Maggie  and  the  children, 
and  Josiah  and  me.  Tirzah  Ann  and  Whitfield 
stayed  longer,  so's  to  leave  everything  in  first 
rate  order  for  another  year.  They  sot  out  some 
pretty  shrubs  and  made  some  posy  beds  under 


326      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

the  winders,  and  planted  bulbs  in  'em,  that  they 
spozed  would  rise  up  and  break  out  in  sunny 
smiles  when  they  met  'em  another  summer. 
They  lay  out  to  take  sights  of  comfort  in  that 
house  —  yes  indeed ! 

And  I  shouldn't  be  at  all  surprised  if  it  ended 
by  our  all  havin'  cottages  there  for  summer 
comfort.  It  looks  like  it  now.  Though  I  told 
'em  I'd  ruther  have  our  cottage  on  the  main 
land  pretty  nigh  to  'em;  there's  places  where 
the  land  juts  out  into  the  river  havin'  all  the 
looks  of  a  island  on  the  fore  side,  and  on  the 
hindside  more  solidity  somehow. 

And  with  the  society  of  the  Saint  on  the  front 
side,  and  Safety  on  the  hind  side,  it  seems  as  if 
anybody  could  take  considerable  comfort  there. 


CHAPTER   TWENTY 

Faith  comes  to  visit  us.  We 
attend  the  Camp  Meetin'  at 
Piller  Pint,  and  Faith  meets 
the  lover  of  her  youth 


CHAPTER    TWENTY 

FAITH    COMES  TO    VISIT    US.      WE    ATTEND 

THE    CAMP  MEET  IN'    AT    PILLER    PINT, 

AND  FAITH  MEETS    THE  LOVER    OF   HER 
YOUTH 

ACCORDIN'  to  her  promise  Faithful 
Smith  come  to  Jonesville  in  the  fall 
and  we  wuz  glad  enough  to  see  her. 

We  had  laid  our  plans  to  attend  the  Camp 
Meetin'  at  Piller  Pint,  and  at  last  the  time 
arriv.  The  day  before  the  great  meeting  the 
sky  wuz  rosy  in  the  morning  the  distant  lake 
looked  blue,  and  everything  bid  fair  for  a  good 
spell  of  weather. 

Josiah  iled  up  the  old  double  harness  and 
washed  the  democrat  off  and  rubbed  it  down 
with  shammy  skin  till  it  shone  like  glass.  And 
I  prepared  a  glass  can  of  baked  beans  brown  and 
crispy,  but  sweet  and  rich  tastin'  as  beans  know 
how  to  be  when  well  cooked,  then  I  briled  two 
young  chickens  a  light  yeller  brown,  and  basted 
'em  well  with  melted  butter,  and  had  a  new 
quart  basin  of  as  good  dressin'  as  Jonesville  ever 
turned  out,  and  I've  seen  good  dressers  in  my 

329 


330      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

day.  And  a  quart  can  of  beautiful  creamed 
potatoes  all  ready  to  warm  up,  two  dozen  light 
white  biscuit,  a  canned  strawberry  pie,  and  a 
dozen  sugar  cookies  reposed  side  by  side  in  a 
clean  market  basket,  and  by  'em  lay  peacefully 
a  little  can  of  rich  yeller  butter  and  one  of  brittle 
cowcumber  pickles,  and  one  dozen  deviled  eggs. 

A  better  lunch  wuz  never  prepared  in  the 
precincts  of  Jonesville. 

Oh!  and  I  had  some  jell  too,  and  cream 
cheese,  and  the  next  mornin'  I  made  two  quarts 
of  coffee  all  ready  to  warm  up  in  Sister  Mee- 
chum's  tent  (she  had  gin  permission),  and  a  can 
of  sweet  cream  to  add  richness  to  it,  and  lump 
sugar  accordin\ 

I  felt  that  these  wuz  extraordinary  prepara- 
tions, but  didn't  begrech  'em,  part  on  'em  wuz 
on  Faith's  account.  Well,  as  I  say,  the  prepara- 
tions wuz  all  completed  the  day  before  exceptin' 
the  coffee  and  creamed  potatoes,  and  them  wuz 
accomplised  early  in  the  mornin'  while  I  wuz 
gittin'  breakfast,  and  we  all  sot  off  triumphant 
at  nine  a.m. 

It  wuz  a  clear  cool  mornin'  in  lovely  autumn. 
Old  Nater  hadn't  as  you  may  say  finished  up 
her  fall  job  of  colorin'  and  paintin',  but  she 
wuz  all  rousted  up  tendin'  to  it. 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    331 

All  along  the  smooth  highway  leadin'  to  the 
lake,  trees  and  bushes  bent  over  the  roadside 
tinged  with  crimson  and  yeller  and  russet  brown, 
and  red,  and  shaded  gold  colors  mingled  with 
the  rich  green  of  the  faithful  cedars  and  hemlocks 
and  pines.  Sometimes  up  a  high  pine  tree  or 
ellum  a  wild  ivy  had  clum  and  wuz  hangin' 
on  with  one  hand  and  wavin'  out  to  us  its  banner 
of  gold  and  crimson  as  we  passed.  And  fur  off 
the  maple  forest  looked  like  a  vast  mass  of  rose 
and  amber  and  golden  brown,  mingled  with  the 
deep  green  of  spruces  and  cedars,  and  furder  off 
still  a  blue  haze  lay  over  all  like  a  soft  veil  partly 
hidin'  and  partly  revealin'  the  glory  of  the  seen. 
And  ever  and  anon  the  blue  flashin'  waters  of 
the  lake  could  be  seen  like  the  soul  in  a  woman's 
face,  givin'  life  and  meanin'  to  the  picture. 

Well,  anon  as  we  dumb  a  hill,  the  hull  lake 
bust  out  on  our  vision,  it  lay  spread  out  broad 
and  beautiful  and  calm,  with  the  breezes  ripplin' 
its  blue  surface  into  w7aves,  and  the  sunshine 
sparkling  on  its  bosom,  and  down  under  the  hill 
on  a  pint  of  land  that  stretched  out  into  the  water 
stood  the  noble  grove  of  trees  where  the  camp 
meetin'  wuz  held.     That  wuz  Piller  Pint. 

We  descended  a  hill,  driv  along  half  a  mild  or 
so  till  w7e  come  to  a  fence  and  a  open  pair  of  bars, 


332      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

in  front  of  which  stood  two  muscular  attendants 
and  one  on  'em  sez,  "We  take  a  small  fee  from 
them  that  enter." 

Sez  Josiah,  lookin'  gloomy,  "I  spozed  religion 
wuz  free." 

"It  is  free,"  sez  the  man,  "but  this  is  only  to 
smooth  its  way,  put  up  seats  and  such." 

Sez  Josiah,  "I  didn't  know  that  Religion  had 
to  set  down." 

"Sinners  have  to  set,"  sez  the  man. 

Sez  Josiah,  "We  hain't  sinners."  But  I 
hunched  him  and  sez,  "  Pay  your  fee  and  go  on." 
So  after  a  deep  sithe  he  produced  his  old  leather 
wallet  and  fished  up  ten  cents  out  of  its  depths, 
and  wre  proceeded  on. 

The  grove  wuz  a  large  one,  acres  and  acres 
of  big  trees  on  every  side,  and  vehicles  of 
every  description  from  smart  canopy  top  bug- 
gies, and  Sarah's,  and  automobiles,  down  to 
one  horse  sulkies  and  rickety  buck-boards,  and 
horses  of  every  size  and  color  wuz  hitched  to 
'em.  And  on  the  fallen  tree  trunks  sot  wimmen 
and  girls,  young  boys,  children,  and  pairs  of 
lovers  wuz  walkin'  afoot  amidst  the  deep  green 
aisles.  Way  in  the  green  depths  of  the  woods 
you  could  see  the  glimpse  of  a  woman's  dress,  or 
see  the  head  of  a  horse  lookin'  out  peaceful. 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    333 

But  we  advanced  a  little  furder  as  the  road 
led  out  amongst  the  trees  and  pretty  soon  we 
come  in  sight  of  a  large  round  tent  where  the 
meetin'  wuz  held,  and  from  which  we  could 
hear  the  voice  of  hims  and  oratory,  along  on 
both  sides  of  the  immense  tent,  so's  to  leave  a 
road  between,  wuz  rows  of  small  tents  where 
the  campers  dwelt.  They  stretched  on  like 
two  rows  of  white  dwellings  way  off  into  the 
green  of  the  woods.  Josiah  and  I  are  well 
thought  on  in  Jonesville,  and  as  fur  out  as  Loon- 
town  and  Piller  Pint,  and  a  man  soon  advanced 
and  gin  us  an  advantageous  position,  and 
Josiah  hitched  the  mair  and  we  advanced  into 
the  amphitheatre. 

The  tent  riz  up  like  a  big  white  umbrell,  or 
like  great  broodin'  wings  overhead,  leavin'  the 
sides  free  for  the  soft  air  to  enter.  There  wuz 
rows  of  seats,  boards  laid  on  wooden  supports 
and  on  one  side  a  high  wooden  structure,  open 
towards  the  seats,  in  which  the  preachers  sot 
or  stood.  A  wooden  railin'  run  along  in  front  of 
that  rough  pulpit.  Under  foot  wuz  the  green 
moss  and  rich  mold  of  the  onbroken  forest.  And 
way  up  over  the  white  tent  the  tall  tree  tops 
arched,  and  you  could  look  way  up  into  the  green 
aisles  of  light  with  glimpses  of  sunshine  between, 


334      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

castin'  shady  shadows  and  golden  ones  on  the 
grass  and  moss  below. 

Folks  wuz  settin'  round  of  all  sorts,  some  hand- 
some, some  humbly,  some  dressed  up  slick, 
some  in  rough  common  attire,  but  most  on  'em 
looked  like  good  sturdy  farmers  and  their 
families.  The  old  grand-ma  of  ninety  with 
bent  form  and  earnest  face,  side  by  side  with 
her  great  grand-child. 

I  myself  with  Josiah  sot  down  by  a  large 
boneded  woman  with  a  big,  calm,  good-lookin' 
face.  She  had  on  a  dress  and  mantilly  of  faded 
black  cashmere;  the  mantilly  wuz  wadded,  a 
pink  knit  woolen  scarf  wuz  wound  loose  round 
her  neck,  she  had  a  small  hat  of  black  straw 
trimmed  with  red  poppies,  and  she  wore  a  pair 
of  large  hoop  ear-rings.  Her  face  had  the  calm 
and  sunshine  of  perfect  peace  on  it.  Her  hus- 
band, a  small  pepper-and-salt  iron  gray  man, 
with  sandy  hair  and  a  multitude  of  wrinkles, 
sot  by  her,  and  they  had  a  young  child  elabo- 
rately dressed  in  red  calico  between  'em. 

Beyond  her  sot  a  little  slender  woman  in  a 
stylish  dark  blue  dress  and  turban,  her  face 
alert  and  eager,  lit  with  deep  gray  eyes,  had  the 
passion  and  zeal  of  a  Luther  or  Wesley.  On 
the  nigh  side  of  me  sot  two  young  girls  in  pink 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    335 

and  white  muslin;  a  father  and  mother  and 
three  children  wuz  behind  us,  and  on  the  seat 
in  front  wuz  some  young  men  and  two  old  ones. 
I  hearn  the  big  calm  woman  say,  "I  shall  be 
dretful  disappinted  if  he  don't  come  to-day/' 

"So  shall  I,"  sez  the  pepper-and-salt  man, 
"I  shall  feel  like  turnin'  right  round  and  goin' 
back  home,  but  I  think  he  is  sure  to  be  here." 
Bein'  temporary  neighbors  I  asked  who  it  wuz 
that  wuz  expected. 

"Why,  the  great  revivalist  and  preacher  who 
is  expected  here  to-day." 

Sez  I,  "Who  is  it?"  The  woman  said  she 
couldn't  remember  the  name,  but  he  wuz  the 
greatest  preacher  sence  Wesley.  He  jest  went 
about  doin'  good,  folks  would  go  milds  and  milds 
to  hear  him,  and  he  drawed  their  souls  and 
sperits  right  along  with  his  fervor  and  eloquence. 
He  is  to  a  big  meetin'  at  Burr's  Mills  to-day, 
but  is  expected  here  for  sure.  Two  hundred 
had  been  converted  under  him  at  Burr's  Mills. 
He  had  been  there  a  week. 

I  sez,  "Whyee!  is  that  so?" 

"Yes,"  sez  the  calm  woman,  and  she  went 
on  to  say,  "I  hear  that  he  used  to  be  a  wicked 
man,  but  had  some  trouble  that  made  him 
desperate,  and  finally  driv  him  right  into  the 


336      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

Kingdom,  and  sence  that  he  can't  seem  to  work 
hard  enough  for  the  Master." 

"Well,"  sez  I,  "Saul  the  scoffer  got  turned 
into  Paul  the  apostle,  and  that  same  power  is 
here  to-day. " 

"Speakin'  of  the  power,"  sez  the  woman, 
"two  wimmen  and  a  man  had  the  power  last 
night,  one  girl  lay  speechless  for  hours,  and 
when  she  come  to  said  she  had  been  ketched 
right  up  into  Heaven.  She  talked  beautiful," 
sez  she. 

Sez  I  calmly,  "That's  jest  what  Paul  said,  he 
said  he  wuz  caught  up  to  the  Third  Heaven." 

Sez  Josiah,  "That  power  don't  come  to  earth 
to-day,  Samantha." 

Sez  I,  "Who  told  you  it  didn't?  I  hain't 
hearn  on't.  Earth  hain't  no  furder  from  Heaven 
now  than  it  wuz  then,  and  the  same  God  reigns." 

"Amen,"  sez  the  pepper-and-salt  man,  I  see 
he  had  zeal  and  religion,  but  I  felt  kinder  flus- 
trated  to  be  "amened"  to  in  public,  and  I  looked 
kinder  meachin'  I  spoze,  and  the  calm  woman 
see  I  did.     And  she  sez: 

"Sister  Calvin  Martin  lays  there  now  in  her 
tent  with  the  Power.  She  lay  there  all  day 
yesterday  and  all  night." 

Some  of  the  boys  before  me  begun  to  titter 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    337 

and  snicker  at  anybody's  havin'  the  power,  and 
I  sez,  eyein'  'em  sternly,  "Do  you  know  what 
you're  laughin'  at,  young  men?  You  talk 
about  it  real  glib,  but  have  you  any  idee  of  the 
greatness  and  overwhelmin'  might  of  the  Force 
you're  speakin'  of?  That  Power  wuz  at  Pente- 
cost in  cloven  tongues  of  flame,  and  strange 
voices  and  words  that  no  man  could  utter.  Saul 
laughed  at  the  Power  but  it  struck  him  blind 
in  the  street,  and  ketched  him  up  into  the 
Seventh  Heaven.  When  that  Power  comes 
down  on  earth,  let  sinners  quail,  and  saints 
look  on  with  or  and  tremblin'." 

They  looked  real  meachin'.  But  jest  then  the 
Experience  meetin'  begun,  and  a  old  man  with 
thin  white  hair  and  white  whiskers  framin'  his 
meek  wrinkled  face,  come  forward,  and  layin' 
his  hand  on  the  railin'  sez  in  a  kinder  tremblin' 
voice,  "Bless  the  Lord  who  has  made  His 
servant  able  to  come  to  this  temple  in  the  wilder- 
ness, to  witness  the  glory  He  has  poured  down 
on  his  people.  Every  camp-meetin'  for  years  I 
have  thought  would  be  my  last,  but  bless  Him 
who  has  preserved  me  to  this  day." 

"Yes,  bless  the  Lord!  Amen!  amen!"  wuz 
shouted  on  every  side,  and  as  he  stopped  after 
a  few  minutes'  exhortation,  the  other  ministers 


338      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

and  some  of  the  old  bretheren  crowded  round 
the  white  headed  old  saint  to  shake  his  hand. 

Then  a  sweet  faced  little  girl  in  a  pink  hat  got 
up  and  said  "the  Lord  wuz  precious  to  her." 

"Amen!  amen!  Bless  His  name!  He  carries 
the  lambs  in  His  bosom !"  said  the  white 
headed  preacher.  Then  a  pleasant  lookin'  mid- 
dle-aged minister  related  this  incident,  "A  young 
boy  had  been  converted,  and  said  he  had  a 
view  of  Heaven.  A  onbeliever  tried  to  frighten 
him  and  asked  him  if  he  didn't  tremble  at  the 
thought.  Sez  the  boy,  'My  feet  are  on  the 
rock.' 

"'But  don't  you  tremble?'  sez  the  infidel. 

"'Yes,'  sez  the  boy,  'I  do,  but  the  rock  under 
my  feet  don't  tremble.'" 

"  Oh,  Jesus  is  a  rock  in  a  weary  land, 
A  weary  land,  a  weary  land  — 
Oh,  Jesus  is  a  rock  in  a  weary  land  — 
A  shelter  in  the  time  of  storm." 

High  and  clear  this  believin'  song  floated 
through  our  souls  —  and  up  to  Heaven. 

Then  a  good  lookin'  young  man  arose  and 
sez,  "Did  you  ever  hear  of  the  drunken  horse 
jockey  and  thief  down  to  Loontown?  Well, 
I'm  that  man  clothed  and  in  my  right  mind. 


AXD  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    339 

The  Lord  stopped  me  in  my  evil  course,  and  I 
am  His  and  He  is  mine." 

A  bystander  sez,  "That  is  so,  he  is  a  changed 
man."     Then  they  all  sung: 

"  There  is  a  fountain  filled  with  blood, 

Drawn  from  Emmanuel's  veins; 
And  sinners  plunged  beneath  its  flood 

Lose  all  their  guilty  stains. 
Lose  all  their  guilty  sta-ains; 
Lose  all  their  guilty  sta-ains; 

And  sinners  plunged  beneath  that  flood 
Lose  all  their  guilty  stains." 

That  is  a  melogious  chorus,  but  so  kinder 
floatin'  on,  and  back  and  forth,  that  I  don't 
see  how  they  can  ever  stop  it  when  they  begin. 
Of  course  as  wuz  natural  there  wuz  some  there 
who,  wuz  bashful  and  made  mistakes.  A  tall 
slim  young  man  got  up,  he  wuz  studying  for  the 
ministry,  sez  he,  "My  friends,  I  am  a  stranger 
to  you  all,  I  am  a  stranger  to  myself,  and  I 
trust,"  sez  he,  "I  am  a  stranger  to  my  God." 

He  left  out  a  "wuzn't,"  he  meant  that  he 
wuzn't  a  stranger  to  his  God.  Bashfulness  wuz 
the  cause.  Madder  red  wuz  pale  compared  to 
his  face  when  he  sot  down,  and  his  tongue  wuz 
thick  and  husky.  I  wuz  sorry  for  him.  Then  a 
woman  riz  up  with  a  black  bunnet  and  veil  on 


34o      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

and  white  collar  and  cuffs;  she  looked  like  a 
Quakeress,  and  I  believe  that  if  Emperors  and 
Zars  had  stood  before  her  she  would  have  been 
onmoved,  she  wuz  as  calm  and  earnest  as  Ruth 
or  Esther,  or  any  of  our  good  old  four-mothers. 
Sez  she: 

"My  friends,  I  see  your  faces  to-day  and 
watch  the  different  expressions  upon  them. 
How  will  these  faces  look  when  we  meet  at  the 
Bar  of  God?  Will  peace  be  on  them?  Or  dis- 
may and  everlastin'  regret?" 

"Oh  yes!  The  Lord  help!  Let  us  hear 
from  some  one  else!"  A  slight  pause  ensued 
and  then  there  riz  up  this  melogious  appealin' 
old  him: 

"  Shall  Jesus  bear  the  cross  alone, 
And  all  the  world  go  free? 
No,  there's  a  cross  for  every  one, 
And  there's  a  cross  for  me." 

A  colored  boy  got  up;  he  wuz  tall  and  gant 
with  big  soft  eyes  full  of  the  pathetic  wisdom 
and  ignorance  of  his  race.  He  spoke  kinder  slow 
and  sez,  "I  wuz  sick  once  and  I  felt  alone.  I 
wuz  afraid  to  die.  Now  if  I  wuz  sick  I  shouldn't 
be  alone,  nor  afraid,  I've  got  somebody  with 
me.  Jesus  Christ  is  with  me  all  the  time.  I 
hain't  lonesome  no  more,  nor  'fraid." 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    341 

"Tell  your  experience,  Joe,  tell  it  here!" 
shouted  an  old  man.  Joe  stepped  forward, 
took  the  Bible  offen  the  rustic  stand,  turned  over 
the  leaves  to  the  first  page,  and  slowly  and 
laboriously  read,  "Darkness  was  on  the  face  of 
the  earth  —  and  God  said,  let  there  be  light  — 
and  there  wuz  light. " 

He  closed  the  book  and  looked  round  with 
rapt  luminous  eyes.  "That  is  me,"  sez  he,  "  that 
is  my  experience." 

"Amen!  amen!"  shouted  the  brethren.  The 
little  refined  lookin'  woman  in  the  blue  dress 
started  this  verse  and  sung  it  through  almost 
alone,  in  a  clear  sweet  voice: 

"I  am  but  a  traveller  here,  Heaven  is  my  home. 
Earth's  but  a  desert  drear,  Heaven  is  my  home. 
Time's  cold  and  chilling  blast,  soon  will  be  over  past, 
I  shall  reach  home  at  last,  Heaven  is  my  home." 

"Amen!  amen!  Now  let  us  hear  from 
another."  And  one  after  another  rose  and 
told  of  the  goodness  of  God  and  what  He  had 
done  for  them.  The  sweet  earnest  hims  floated 
out  ever  and  anon  and  over  the  place  seemed 
to  brood  a  Presence  that  boyed  our  sperits  up 
as  on  wings,  and  I  felt  that  we  wuz  there  with 
one  accord,  and  my  soul  seemed  lifted  up  fur 


342      SAMANTHA  AT  COXEY  ISLAND 

above  Jonesville  and  Josiah,  and  all  earthly 
troubles. 

All  to  once  a  woman  rose  with  a  light  on  her 
face  as  if  she  wuz  lookin'  on  sunthin'  fur  above 
this  earth.  She  delivered  a  eloquent  exhortation 
in  words  of  praise  and  ecstasy.  More  and  more 
earnest  and  eloquent  she  grew  and  lifted  up  from 
earthly  influences.  At  last  she  lifted  her  hands 
and  stepped  out  with  a  swayin'  motion  of  her 
body,  as  if  keepin'  step  to  some  onhearn  melody 
that  ears  stuffed  with  the  cotton  of  worldliness 
and  onbelief  wuzn't  fine  enough  to  ketch,  and 
finally  her  feet  begun  to  keep  step  with  that 
mysterious  music,  that  for  all  I  know  might 
have  been  soundin'  down  from  the  ramparts 
of  the  New  Jerusalem.  Round  and  round  she 
slowly  swayed  and  stepped.  Wuz  it  to  the  rythm 
of  that  invisible  music  ? 

There  wuz  a  look  on  her  pure  face  as  if  she 
wuz  hearin'  sunthin'  we  didn't.  I  wuz  riz  up 
and  carried  away  some  distance  from  myself. 
When  still  lookin'  up  with  that  rapt  luminous 
face  she  fell  to  the  ground  as  prostrate  as  Saul 
did  on  the  road  to  Jerusalem,  and  lay  in  that 
state,  so  I  hearn  afterwards,  for  a  day  and  a  night. 
Jest  as  she  fell  that  iron  gray  man  yelled  out, 
"Bless  the  Lord!" 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    343 

And  I  sez,  bein'  all  wrought  up,  "Don't  you 
know  when  to  say  that,  and  when  not  to  ?  She 
might  have  broke  her  nose."     He  looked  queer. 

In  a  few  minutes  I  see  a  stir  round  the  speakers' 
stand,  and  knew  the  speaker  of  the  day,  the 
great  revivalist  from  the  West,  had  come. 
And  anon  I  see  a  tall  noble  figger  passin'  through 
the  crowd  that  made  way  for  it  reverentially. 
And  lo  and  behold !  I  see  as  I  ketched  a  glimpse 
of  his  profile  that  it  wuz  the  minister  I  had  hearn 
at  Thousand  Island  Park.  The  same  sweet 
smile  rested  on  his  face  as  he  looked  round  on 
his  brethren  and  the  crowd  before  him,  some 
like  a  benediction,  only  more  tender  like,  and 
a  light  seemed  to  be  shinin'  through  his  counte- 
nance, ketched  from  some  Divine  power. 

It  wuz  the  same  face  I  had  framed  that  sum- 
mer day  in  the  Tabernacle  at  T.  I.  Park,  and 
hung  up  in  my  mind  right  by  the  side  of  Isaiah 
and  St.  Paul.  Yes,  I  see  agin  the  broad  white 
forward  with  the  brown  hair  mixed  with  gray 
thrown  back  from  it  kinder  careless,  his  eyes 
had  the  same  sweet  sad  expression,  soft,  yet 
deep  lookin',  and  pitiful,  as  if  he  wuz  sorry  for 
us  and  would  love  to  teach  us  the  secret  he  had 
found  of  how  to  overcome  the  world  and  its 
sins  and  sorrows. 


344      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

His  prayer  had  the  same  power  of  lifting  us 
up  fur  above  the  world  and  settin'  down  our 
naked  souls  in  the  presence  of  Him  who  searcheth 
the  heart,  searchin'  and  probin'  to  our  con- 
sciences, and  yet  consoling  puttin'  us  in  mind 
of  that  text,  "As  a  father  pitieth  his  children" 
and  yet  wants  'em  to  mind.  It  wuz  a  prayer 
for  help  and  as  if  we  would  git  it. 

He  read  in  that  same  sweet,  melogious  voice 
I  remembered  so  well,  Paul's  wonderful  words 
about  how  he  wuz  led  from  the  blackness  of 
unbelief  up  into  the  Great  Light,  and  how  he 
wuz  caught  up  into  the  Third  Heaven  and  saw 
things  so  great  and  glorious  that  it  would  not 
be  lawful  for  man  to  speak  of  them,  and  where 
he  goes  on  to  tell  of  his  belief,  his  hope  and  his 
faith.  The  text  wuz  Paul's  words  when  he 
recalls  those  divine  hours  up  on  the  heights 
alone  with  God: 

"Wherefore  not  being  disobedient  to  the 
heavenly  vision." 

And  as  he  went  on,  as  uplifted  as  I  wuz,  I 
felt  fearful  ashamed  to  think  how  many  times 
I  had  been  disobedient  to  the  Heavenly  vision, 
the  white  ideals  that  shone  out  in  my  mind  so 
high  and  clear  in  the  mornin'  light,  and  I  wuz 
so  sure  I  could  reach.     But  havin'  set  down  to 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    345 

rest  in  the  heat  of  the  day,  and  bein'  drawn  off 
into  the  shadders  and  thickets  of  environin'  cares 
and  perplexities,  I  didn't  git  nigh  enough  to  grasp 
holt  of,  and  I  whispered  as  much  to  my  pardner. 

And  he  said  he  felt  different,  he  had  always 
ever  sence  he  sot  out  marched  right  straight 
towards  the  Kingdom. 

Sez  I,  "Josiah  Allen,  hain't  you  ever  mean- 
dered at  all  from  that  straight  and  narrer  way?" 

"No  mom,  not  a  inch,  not  a  hair's  breadth." 
I  wuz  dumb-foundered  by  his  conceit  as  many 
times  as  I  had  witnessed  it. 

The  sermon  that  follered  wuz  white  and  glowin' 
with  the  light  of  Heaven.  You  could  see  that 
he  had  not  been  disobedient  to  that  Divine  vision 
that  had  been  revealed  to  him.  The  deep  sweet 
look  of  his  eyes  told  of  them  supreme  heights  his 
own  soul  had  reached.  Upliftin',  sympathizing 
soul  searchin',  callin'  on  the  best  in  every  heart 
there  to  rise  up  and  try  to  fly  Heavenward. 

His  looks  and  words  rousted  up  my  soul  and 
carried  me  off  so  fur  from  the  world  and  Piller 
Pint,  that  I  lost  sight  entirely  of  the  crowd 
around  me.  But  anon  I  hearn  a  voice  at  my 
side  and  I  see  Faith  had  come  back  onbeknown 
to  me  (she  had  been  in  Sister  Meechum's  tent 
mendin'    a   rent    in    her    dress).     But  when  I 


346      SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 

looked  at  her  I  realized  how  the  face  of  St. 
Stephen  looked.  It  sez,  "His  face  shone  like 
the  face  of  an  angel."  Faith's  looked  jest  so, 
only  tears  wuz  slowly  droppin'  from  her  eyes 
and  runnin'  down  her  white  cheeks.  Sez  I, 
whisperin'  to  her  with  or  in  my  axents, 

"What  is  it,  Faith?  What  is  it,  dear?  Is  it 
the  Power?" 

I  most  knew  it  wuz,  and  I  wuz  mekanically 
turnin'  it  over  in  my  mind  what  I  should  do  with 
her  if  she  fell  over  prostrate,  and  where  I  should 
lay  her  out.  When  she  turned,  her  glowin' 
awe-struck  eyes  held  a  world  of  joy  and  glory 
in  each  one  on  'em. 

"Yes,  it  is  the  Power,  the  power  and  goodness 
of  God."  And  she  whispered  in  blissful  axents, 
"It  is  Richard,  Richard  redeemed  and  working 
for  my  Master." 

I  see  it  all,  it  wuz  the  lost  lover  of  her  youth, 
I  read  it  in  her  face.  You  could  have  knocked 
me  down  with  a  clothes-pin  aimed  by  a  infant. 

"How  come  he  here?"  sez  I  in  a  onbelievin' 
way. 

"God  sent  him!"  She  whispered.  "He  sent 
this  blessedness  to  me,  to  know  his  soul  is  saved, 
that  he  is  working  for  Him." 

I  felt  queer. 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    347 

That  afternoon  they  met  under  a  ellum  tree. 
He'd  found  out  she  wuz  there,  and  asked  for 
a  interview,  which  I  see  that  she  granted  him.  It 
wuz  a  pretty  spot,  clost  to  the  water,  with  trees 
of  droopin'  ellums  and  some  maples,  and  popples 
touched  with  fire  and  gold.  The  autumn  leaves 
made  a  sort  of  canopy  over  their  heads,  and  all 
round  'em  wuz  the  soft  melancholy  quiet  of  the 
fall  of  the  year.     He  stood  there  waitin'  for  her. 

"Faith!" 

"Richard!" 

.  •  .  •  • 

I  don't  know  how  long  they  stood  there,  her 
little  cold  hands  held  in  his  big  warm  palms, 
his  eyes  searchin'  the  dear  face  and  findin'  a 
sacred  meanin'  in  it,  and  she  in  hisen.  He  wuz 
pale,  his  voice  trembled  like  the  popple  leaves 
overhead,  and  visey  versey  hern. 

The  settin'  sun  glowed  warm  on  the  face  of 
the  water  some  as  his  eyes  did,  readin'  her  sweet 
face,  and  some  of  that  fire  seemed  to  glow  in 
his  deep  blue  eyes. 

"I  had  been  so  wicked,  Faith,  I  had  done  so 
much  harm,  I  said  I  would  never  seek  my  own 
happiness,  I  would  work  only  for  my  fellow 
creatures,  striving  if  I  might  undo  some  of  my 
evil  work,  but  I  see  to-day  that  I  have  been  an 


348       SAMANTHA  AT  CONEY  ISLAND 


'/  don't  know  how  long  they  stood  there,  his  eyes  searchin' 
the  dear  face  and  fifidin*  a  sacred  meanin'  in  it." 

(See  page  347) 


AND  A  THOUSAND  OTHER  ISLANDS    349 

egotist.  God  would  not  be  offended  at  my  happi- 
ness if  I  could  win  the  dear  woman  I  have  loved 
all  these  years.  You  have  forgiven  me,  Faith, 
I  see  it  in  your  sweet  eyes." 

Agin  he  paused,  and  nothin'  broke  the  silence 
but  the  murmur  of  the  blue  waters  swashin' 
up  on  the  beach,  and  furder  off  through  the 
trees  some  belated  campers  jest  drivin'  onto 
the  ground  sung  out  with  clear  voices, 

"God  moves  in  a  mysterious  way, 
His  wonders  to  perform." 

"He  led  me  here  to-day.  I  had  not  seen  your 
face  for  twenty  years,  but  this  morning,  at  day 
dawn,  I  stood  at  my  open  window  striving  to  de- 
cide to  which  place  I  should  go  to-day.  Through 
a  mistake  I  was  expected  in  two  places.  And 
as  I  stood  thinking,  your  face  dawned  on  my 
inner  vision  as  plainly  as  I  see  it  now,  and  I  had 
to  come  here,  something  told  me  I  must  come. 
He  led  me  here  and  you  also.  He  has  a  mean- 
ing in  this  —  shall  we  read  it  together,  Faith?" 

And  through  the  arched  vista  of  autumn 
leaves  they  could  see  that  the  sky  beyend  the 
Pint  gleamed  out  like  a  city  of  golden  palaces. 
They  seemed  to  be  goin'  through  its  gates  — 
into  the  glory  beyend. 


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